Zdeno Chara – Keefe To The City

Jan 27, 2015

The 2014-15 NHL All-Animosity Team

This year’s team is a little different, but there are some familiar faces in the lineup, including a goalie on his way out of the league.

NHL All-Star Weekend has always held a special place in my heart. My feelings about a skills competition and an exhibition game in which there’s no physicality, defense or anything that resembles NHL hockey other than nasty dangles are probably unshared. But when you’re a kid growing up with stars like Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Ray Bourque and Brian Leetch and watching them wear those black and orange gems each winter on a weekend afternoon, it’s something that stays with you.

Even though Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin weren’t in Columbus this weekend and Henrik Lundqvist was home in favor of goalies of much lesser abilities (Hi, Jaroslav Halak), I still watched and still paid attention to the 60th NHL All-Star Game, the first in three years. Well, I paid more attention to the skills competition than the game, but I still paid attention. And since I don’t always agree with the selections for the All-Star Game, a couple of years ago I decided to build my own version of an All-Star team. The one difference is that this team is built up of players I don’t like.

(Of course the first time since I started creating these teams that Brian Boyle is eligible to be on it, he isn’t.)

FORWARDS

Milan Lucic
Welcome back, once again! After leading the 2012-13 team and 2013-14 team, Lucic is back on the 2014-15 team.

It wasn’t long ago that Lucic was considered to be Cam Neely 2.0 in Boston following his 30-goal regular season in the Bruins’ Cup winning 2010-11 season. But after watching his goal totals decline over the last three years, Lucic has just nine goals in 47 games for the Bruins this year. Instead of hearing from Boston about Lucic’s all-around game, it’s more likely you’ll hear about Lucic connected to trade rumors. During the Bruins’ struggles around the holidays, the Boston sports media was hoping they could create some package involving Lucic to send him to Edmonton in exchange for Taylor Hall because every team is willing to give away their former No. 1 overall pick for a power forward in the middle of a three-plus year slide. (Actually, Edmonton would be the team willing to do that.)

The Bruins have cap issues and because of this, Lucic could be playing for another team in 2015-16, and judging by every team’s eagerness to give out bad contracts and throw money at any and every free agent, teams will be lining up to offer Lucic a big payday. If he plays himself out of Boston and off the Bruins, there might not be a place for him on the All-Animosity Team going next year, but his three-year run on the team will always be a memorable one.

Alexander Ovechkin
My animosity toward Ovechkin has declined since Sidney Crosby officially won the Crosby-Ovechkin Debate (which was never really much of a debate anyway) and I no longer have to spend time and energy defending and supporting the best player in the world against a pure goal scorer, who couldn’t care less about what happens in his own zone.

In the Road to the NHL Winter Classic on EPIX, Capitals owner Ted Leonsis referred to Ovechkin as the most pouplar athlete of the four majors sports in Washington D.C. and I questioned it at first, but when put against Bryce Harper, Robert Griffin III and John Wall, I agreed with Leonsis. After watching Ovechkin attend the Wizards game in the EPIX series and seeing him act like a normal person and not a four-time 50-plus goal scorer and one-time 65-goal scorer, I actually kind of liked him. And then watching him hope to be the last pick in the All-Star Game to win a free car, despite being possibly the best pure scorer in the world, I actually liked him a little more. I’m a Crosby guy and always will be, but maybe there’s room to be a fan of both? Maybe Ovechkin’s personality is playing him off this team?

I’m sure I will be back to being anti-Ovechkin in March when the Rangers and Capitals play again and he spends the entire night taking shots at every Ranger on the ice. Even though I will annoyed, it will put a smile on my face that my animosity toward Ovechkin is back.

Brad Marchand
I had to figure out a way to make room for Brad Marchand on the team and that meant either cutting Alexander Ovechkin or Chris Kunitz. I didn’t cut Ovechkin, even though I actually don’t have as much out-of-game animosity toward him as I do for Kunitz. By “out-of-game” animosity, I mean that I don’t mind Ovechkin when he’s not playing a game against the Rangers, or a playoff game, and putting fear into me every time he’s on the ice or every time the Capitals get a power play. Kunitz, on the other hand, makes me angry to just think about since his career has taken off with the Penguins thanks to playing with Sidney Crosby, yet people continue to consider among the league’s elite players, which was never more true when he was given a spot on Team Canada in the 2014 Olympics. I thought about putting Kunitz on D for this team and sort of making a power-play unit out of the team, but then I decided … actually, wait, that’s a great idea! Put Kunitz on defense and cut Dion Phaneuf, who couldn’t be any more irrelevant as the captain of the downfall of the Maple Leafs.

Marchand is the ultimate player who you hate to watch your team play against, but would love if he were on your team. He’s dirty and annoying, he’s a pest and nuisance, but he’s good. Or at least he can be good. There are stretches where you wonder why it looks like he doesn’t care and other stretches where he’s involved in every play and leading an unstoppable forecheck. His lapses in judgment and total disregard for player safety are what makes him hated and in the Rangers-Bruins game on Jan. 15, there he was earning a two-game suspension for slew-footing Derick Brassard (a technique that Marchand turns to frequently). The only thing worse than Marchand’s antics in that game were Jack Edwards and Andy Brickley calling the game for NESN and saying they didn’t see a slew-foot.

DEFENSEMEN

Zdeno Chara
I don’t know how Chara would feel knowing that on this team Milan Lucic wears the “C” instead of him, but if he were upset about it, I would have no problem throwing an “A” on his jersey for him.

It’s weird to think that the Bruins will retire Chara’s number one day considering the team they were when they signed him and the team they have become now seven years later. But Chara is as big of a reason as anyone in the Bruins’ turnaround from finishing the 2006-07 season with 76 points to eventually winning the Cup and being in another Cup Final. It felt like it would be at least another three decades until the Bruins won again when Chara arrived in Boston and he should be recognized for … wait a second … this is supposed to be about why I don’t like Chara. In that case, let me repurpose what I said about him last year:

Jack Edwards will likely tell you that Chara is the best defenseman in the league, but he’s the same guy who thinks fights are decided by whichever plays ends up on top of the other player on the ice. Is there anything worse than when broadcasters talk about Chara’s 108-mph slap shot in the Skills Competition in a real game? No, there’s not. Because there are a lot of times in real games when you get to sprint untouched from the blue into a still puck in the slot and rip a bomb into an open net. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg that is the lovefest for the 6-foot-9, one-time Norris Trophy winner.

Chris Kunitz
The Rangers’ 3-1 series comeback against the Penguins in the Eastern Conference semifinals last year was an amazing five days, in which any shot, bad bounce or deflection could have ended the Rangers’ season a month earlier than it lasted. And aside from the jubilation from watching the Rangers come back against a team that had its way with the Rangers in the postseason forever, came the jubilation of watching Chris Kunitz score once in the series.

I moved Kunitz back on D on this team just to keep him on and it was a move I had to make after originally thinking of leaving him off this year’s roster. But the more I thought about him and the more I thought about him putting up stats and getting paid as the product of playing on a line with the best player of this generation, I had to find a way to keep him on the team.

When I was in college in Boston, there was a place called New York Pizza next to the Boston Common on Boylston St. that I would always eat at 2 a.m. at the earliest when I wasn’t exactly sober. I swore to everyone that visited me that New York Pizza was the best pizza in Boston and every person I told this to agreed with me because I would take them there after a night of drinking. It wasn’t until one time when I went to New York Pizza in the middle of the day and had a slice and could barely get two bites down that I realized that the alcohol had masked the true taste of the pizza. Chris Kunitz’s career pre-Sidney Crosby was me eating New York Pizza sober in the middle of the day and Chris Kunitz’s career with Sidney Crosby has been me eating New York Pizza drunk.

Last year, I said, “I feel like you could stick pretty much anyone and I don’t mean just any NHL player, but rather any actual person on a line with Crosby and they would be good for 15-20 goals,” and I believe that to be 100 percent true. And because that’s true, let’s stop pretending that Chris Kunitz is the type of player that he isn’t.

GOALIE

Martin Brodeur
Like last year … was there any other choice? And unless you’re a Devils fan or have changed your stance on the Ten Commandments, then you will agree with Brodeur as the starting goalie once again.

Yes, I stole that line from myself from last year. And maybe there were other choices (cough, cough, Carey Price, cough, cough), but with Brodeur set to retire on Thursday after trying to play at the age of 42 for the St. Louis Blues, it made sense to bring him back one more time.

Rather than ride off into the sunset as a lifetime Devil, who could have enjoyed a final game in New Jersey last season, Brodeur had to come back this season. After 1,259 games with the Devils, his stats will always have those glaring seven games at the bottom of the list. Sure, he added three more wins to his all-time record of 691 wins, but it’s unlikely that number will ever get touched, so instead of leaving it at 688, it’s now at 691 with a little bit of stink on it.

There are some players that are just supposed to play for one franchise forever and Brodeur is one of those players, considering he has been on the Devils since I was in kindergarten. Yes, I said KINDERGARTEN! Very rarely does a Ray Bourque-like move work out and instead it just gets weird when someone like Brian Leetch, who was a Ranger for 17 years, ends up playing 15 games for the Maple Leafs and 61 games for the Bruins at the end of his career.

I also said that about Brodeur last year and now that he’s no longer a one-team career guy, it’s a shame that he put on another jersey in an attempt to try to hang on to the only thing he has known to do in the winter for his whole life. I thought Martin Brodeur would retire at the end of last year and he should have. But now that he will make it official on Thursday (barring another Roger Clemens-like midseason comeback) it’s time for me to say it again:

I will miss Martin Brodeur when he retires, but my animosity for him will stay the same.

May 16, 2014

The Key to the Canadiens

No one knows the Canadiens like Bruins fans, so I decided an email exchange with Mike Miccoli would be the best way to finding out how the Rangers can beat beat the Habs.

Every Rangers fan should have celebrated the Canadiens’ Game 7 win over the Bruins on Wednesday night because it meant the Rangers would face the Canadiens in the Eastern Conference finals and not the Bruins.

No one knows the Canadiens more than Bruins fans, who might be more concerned with the Habs than their own B’s. Because of this, and because the Rangers are playing the Bruins’ rival, I decided to email Mike Miccoli, who covers the Bruins for The Hockey Writers, and ask him how the Rangers can beat the Canadiens.

Keefe: Usually when I email you, it’s about the Bruins because the Rangers are either playing them, about to play them or have just played them. Unfortunately (but really fortunately), the Rangers and Bruins won’t play again until at least October.

I’m emailing you today because the Rangers are playing the Canadiens and I don’t know anyone who knows the Canadiens better than you. I feel like you might even know them more than you know your Bruins. But before we get into how the Rangers can win the Eastern Conference for the first time in 20 years and since we were in third grade, how are you holding up after Game 7? (If you don’t respond to this email I’m going to assume you aren’t holding up well and call 9-1-1.)

Miccoli: Ahh, the NHL playoffs. Is that still going on? I wasn’t aware since the best team in the NHL decided to stop playing so early. I figured they just called the whole thing off. Guess not.

If we’re being honest, the Montreal Canadiens rewrote the script here. I really thought everyone was destined to see a Blackhawks/Bruins Cup Final rematch. In a really twisted way, part of me thinks that can still happen but I won’t get into the logistics of how right now. I’m glad it’s over–really, I am. The hockey was smeared by postgame comments and instead of hearing about the actual game, we had to put up with “respect,” “class,” and “squirting.” It got old fast, but don’t tell the Canadiens that! Friday morning, the day before Game 1 of the Rangers-Canadiens Eastern Conference finals and Montreal is still talking about the Bruins. Here’s where I think your Rangers can really capitalize. The Canadiens are a team so obsessed with certain aspects of the game that make zero difference in the actual end-result of a series. Oh, the opposing team doesn’t like you? That’s terrible! Whatever emotion the Canadiens had for the Bruins won’t be replicated against the Rangers.

How are you feeling about the series? Have you been ignoring the Rangers dreadful record playing in the Bell Centre?

Keefe: I don’t get the Boston-Montreal media battle, which has taken on a life of its own and has become to the media more important than the actual Boston-Montreal games. It seems as though media members in both of the cities want to be the center of attention rather than the players and results of the games and it’s unlike anything I have ever seen.  I also don’t get why the Montreal media is still talking about Boston and the Bruins series. Not only did it end two days ago, but the Canadiens are playing for a chance to play for the Cup starting tomorrow and I’m still seeing new stories on reactions to the “respect” and “class” you talked about and the life and times of Milan Lucic. When will it stop? Will it ever stop? Will there still be Bruins-related stories coming from the Montreal media after the Rangers series has started?

I’m actually feeling confident in this series. Sure, the Rangers and more importantly Henrik Lundqvist have been awful for a long, long time on the road in Montreal, but there’s just something about what transpired over the last three games against the Penguins and the Rangers not having to face the Canadiens that has me overly optimistic about this series. There’s a very real chance all that confidence could be erased by Monday night and the Rangers could be starting at a 2-0 series deficit heading to MSG, but for now … Wooooooo! Let’s go Rangers!

As I eluded to in my opening email, I wanted to ask you about how to beat the Canadiens even if the Bruins couldn’t do it. I thought if the Rangers faced the Bruins, they would be facing an enhanced version of themselves and would eventually lose, but with the Canadiens’ fast-paced tempo, I think the Rangers will be successful.

Now with realignment, the Bruins and Canadiens will likely face each other in the playoffs nearly every year, which should be good for your health and well-being. But because of this I’m sure you know the weaknesses and flaws of the team that will be preventing the Bruins from winning the Cup again for the foreseeable future.

You have seen a lot of both the Rangers and Canadiens. What do the Rangers need to do that the Bruins didn’t?

Miccoli: The Bruins and Canadiens are going to play each other every year and my favorite hockey rivalry is going to become terrible for my health. You’re absolutely right. That said, Bruins should be back next year. Hopefully. Maybe. God, I don’t even know.

Here’s what they couldn’t do against Montreal: figure out Carey Price. Beat Price, and you’ll win. It’s simple enough, right? Get the puck past the goaltender, score goals, win games. Price has been playing out of his mind this postseason and that’s a big problem for a team like the Rangers who can struggle on offense. The Canadiens coaxed the Bruins into playing dumb hockey, too. Maybe they dove a bit (they did), got away with one or two calls (also did this), but it worked because the Bruins played into all of their tricks. The Rangers have to play smart hockey and not get into anything extracurricular with the Canadiens because on top of everything else, their power play has been tremendous.

To me, it’s less about matchups for the Rangers and more about finding ways to generate offense. Yes, Pacioretty and Vanek are threats, but they were sort of invisible up until Games 6 and 7 against the Bruins when Zdeno Chara and some other Boston defenseman decided to fall asleep. Lundqvist is going to bail out the Rangers a lot this series and I wouldn’t expect anything less. As long as the Rangers are able to get shots off and find bodies to put in front of Price, they’ll score goals. Well aware, of course, of how difficult that’s been for New York.

It’s odd that you’re confident here. I don’t think I’ve predicted the Bruins to win a series since 2011.

Keefe: Well, I think I am confident to a degree. I always feel like the Ranges will let me down and lose anyway, so the confidence is somewhat of an act and really doesn’t matter. I think because the Bruins have become the class of the Eastern Conference, you have obtained the lack of confidence I get with the Yankees because they are supposed to win. And when your team is supposed to win, you start to envision the ways they will let you down and not win. The Rangers have yet to reach that level, so any postseason success at this point is almost like a bonus, especially since they are playing with house money now after coming back against the Penguins.

As for the Canadiens, I feel like the Bruins series was their Eastern Conference finals the way the 2003 ALCS felt like the Yankees’ World Series and then they didn’t show up against the Marlins in the actual World Series. Like we said, the focus in Montreal is still on what already happened in the conference semis and not what to expect in the conference finals, and it almost feels like the Canadiens and their fans cared only about eliminating the Bruins and maybe they will continue to live in the past as the postseason moves on.

It seems like any non-Canadiens, Islanders, Devils or Flyers will be rooting for the Rangers in this series because everyone (with the exception of the fans of those four teams) loves Henrik Lundqvist and the Rangers don’t really have any scumbags or dirty players on their team that the general public doesn’t like. I know you’re hopping on the Rangers bandwagon since you already ordered your Lundqvist jersey.

Miccoli: At the end of Game 7 in Boston, maybe a few seconds before the handshake line happened and Lucic threatened to kill a guy, a “Let’s go Rangers” chant broke out. Everyone in Boston, literally everyone, is a Rangers fan for the next couple of weeks. I know we talked about the Rangers not having any “love to boo” players on the roster unlike Chara, Marchand, and Lucic for the Bruins. I know it’s repetitive, but it’s another reason why I think that the Canadiens will have a tough time getting up for this series. They’re the better team but I don’t think the passion will be there. Their championship was beating the Bruins in Game 7 in Boston. They won.

Another thing I should mention about the Canadiens is their speed. They made the Bruins look like David Ortiz rounding third on a hot summer’s day at Fenway this series. The Rangers have a lot of skill, power, and speed up and down the lineup, where I wouldn’t say any of those three are necessarily a strength, but they’re pretty evenly distributed. The Bruins had skill and power with very little speed. The Canadiens amplified that.

I’m not sure everyone outside of the teams you mentioned are rooting for the Rangers though. In all honesty, I sincerely think that the majority of casual hockey fans that don’t see a Bruins or Penguins team in the ECF may not even watch. This ECF actually reminds me a lot of the Rangers-Devils one from a few years ago. Yeah, it’s good rivalry but would I watch if I didn’t love hockey? No. I wouldn’t.

Keefe: Well, after hearing everything you had to say, I’m sticking with my prediction f Rangers in 7 since that’s the only way the Rangers know how to win a series. That’s not a joke. Here are the Rangers’ last 11 playoff series:

Pittsburgh – Won in 7
Philadelphia – Win in 7
Boston – Lost in 5
Washington – Won in 7
New Jersey – Lost in 6
Washington – Won in 7
Ottawa – Won in 7
Washington – Lost in 5
Washington – Lost in 7
Pittsburgh – Lost in 5
New Jersey – Won in 5

The Rangers haven’t won a playoff series in less than seven games since 2007-08 when they beat the Devils in five in the first round. I’m not sure what’s worse when it comes to that or the fact that they haven’t won a playoff game when leading in a series since the first round against Washington in 2008-09 (a series in which they blew a 3-1 series lead in).

I want to watch meaningful hockey in June because the last time the Rangers played in June I had just learned how to write cursive and would spend Fridays having my third-grade teacher Mrs. Hunt read us Roald Dahl books and hand out Starbursts.

Welcome aboard the Rangers’ bandwagon. Let’s hope this train has eight more wins on it.

Miccoli: Let’s be clear here, I’m rooting for the Rangers only because I’m a Boston resident and they happen to be playing Montreal after eliminating the Bruins. Also, Henrik. I think they win in 7, too … only because I want to see you and my roommate, also a big Rangers fan, sweat out seven games against Montreal. Once that happens, go Blackhawks! Go Ducks! Go Kings! Go any other team not in the East.

I will say this, though–this time of year is fantastic. As someone who has gotten to cover it and enjoy it twice in the last four years now, I can safely say there’s nothing better and that everyone should experience it just once. With that said, yes, I hope you get to experience a Cup Final again.

I just hope the Blackhawks (or Kings or whoever) wins it in six.

Podcasts • Rangers

Feb 28, 2014

Podcast: Danny Picard

Danny Picard of “I’m Just Sayin'” and WEEI joined me to talk about how Claude Julien turned around his career and reputation and why the Bruins are the best team in the Eastern Conference.

The Rangers started off the stretch run with a 2-1 win over the Blackhawks, but things don’t get any easier this weekend with a trip to Philadelphia on Saturday and then back home to host the Bruins on Sunday. Thanks to realignment and the scheduling geniuses at the NHL, Sunday’s game against the Bruins will be the third and final game between the two Original Six teams during the regular season.

Danny Picard, host of I’m Just Sayin‘ on Dig Radio Boston (which can also be found on iTunes) and host of The Danny Picard Show on WEEI on the weekends, joined me to talk about how Claude Julien has gone from almost getting to fired to one of the most respected coaches in the league, why the Bruins are the best team in the Eastern Conference and we even touch on some baseball with spring training in full swing.

Podcasts • Team USA

Feb 14, 2014

Podcast: Mike Miccoli

Mike Miccoli of The Hockey Writers and New England Hockey Journal joins me to talk about Team USA’s dominant win over Slovakia and rooting for players in the Olympics you don’t usually root for.

It was a little nerve-racking to see Team USA tied 0-0 with Slovakia through the first 14:27 of the game on Thursday and it was even more nerve-racking when Slovakia scored to start the second period and tie the game at 1. But after thinking we might be in for a repeat of the 2006 Turin Olympics, Team USA scored six goals in the second period and started off the 2014 Olympics in the best possible way.

Mike Miccoli of The Hockey Writers and New England Hockey Journal joined me to talk about Team USA’s dominant win over Slovakia, rooting for players in the Olympics you don’t usually root for and if Team USA is good enough to win the gold.

Blogs • Rangers

Mar 27, 2013

New York Rangers in ‘The Newsroom’

A look the major storylines around the Rangers from the first with help from The Newsroom.

I love Jeff Daniels. I love HBO. I love the media industry. So when HBO aired trailers for a new series starring Jeff Daniels as a TV news anchor at a major media network, I figured it would fill the Sunday night void left by Curb Your Enthusiasm and Game of Thrones. I was wrong.

The first two episodes of The Newsroom were so hard to make it through that I fell asleep during the first episode (I re-watched it later) and actually stopped the second episode before its conclusion.

But after a few days wondering why Aaron Sorkin would write dialogue between characters in a way that no one speaks to each other in real life (if all the 20-somethings at ACN were that smart and that witty they wouldn’t be struggling to earn a living like Maggie suggests they are when she spends “her last $7” in one episode), I decided to go back to the second episode and give The Newsroom another chance. And by the end of that episode, the series picked up and after that it gained steam throughout the summer and left me feeling satisfied that I had stuck it out to make it to the season finale on Aug. 26.

This Rangers’ season has been stuck in the first half of Episode 2 of The Newsroom. But I think, well more like I’m hoping and praying, the 5-2 win over the Flyers on Tuesday night is the end of Episode 2 and the Rangers are about to go on their run and turn their season around the way Will McAvoy turned his series around.

The Rangers have one-third of their season left and the opportunity for “Midseason Awards” is no longer really possible. So instead let’s look at what’s happened over the first 32 games and two-thirds of the season that has the Rangers fighting for a playoff berth with some help from The Newsroom.

MacKenzie: “Where’s a power outage when you really need one?”

I thought the Rangers’ 3-0 loss to the Penguins on Jan. 31 at the Garden was the worst hockey-watching experience of my life. The Rangers trailed after 1:24 and never had a legitimate scoring opportunity in the game. They were shutout, 3-0, at home to one of the two teams (Boston being the other) they were “supposed” to compete with for the East crown this season. The game was an embarrassment on so many different levels that I didn’t think I would ever see such a poor home performance ever again. It only took seven weeks for that loss to be trumped.

Last Thursday was without a doubt the absolute worst hockey-watching experience of my life, and this time I don’t think there is a chance it will be topped. However, knowing this Rangers team, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the last six home games of the season one-punches last Thursday’s game for the title.

Not only did the Rangers lose to the last-place Panthers 3-1, despite outshooting the Panthers 45-24, but I had a female Rangers fan on my left who started a “BE AGGRESSIVE! B-E AGGRESSIVE!” chant with the Rangers on the power play (to be fair she was drinking the entire game) and a family of four on my right left led by the father who compared the team to the 1962 Mets and the mother who ripped apart Marian Gaborik and was actually upset when he scored with 3:48 left in the game.

If the Rangers blew a 4-0 lead in the final four minutes of Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final that would be a miserable time, but at least you would see something historic and at least there would be goals and action and excitement and not just boring, painful-to-watch hockey.

Bryan: “Is it important that you treat me like an a–hole?”

This one goes two ways.

First, it goes to Sam Rosen, who has been made into John Tortorella’s whipping boy this season for simply asking Tortorella about the games he coaches and the decisions he makes. I’m disappointed in Rosen for handling the situation gracefully and for talking with and forgiving Tortorella on the team plane for Tortorella’s frequent lashing out. Rosen should have gone over the top with Tortorella and asked real questions that the fans want answers to. If Rosen is going to take a beating for asking hockey-related questions that lack harmful intent, he might as well go all the way and ask sarcastic questions.

The second part of this goes to Brian Boyle and why it is important that I treat him this way, which it is.

Brian Boyle is 6-foot-7. He is two inches shorter than Zdeno Chara, who is the tallest player in NHL history. Have you ever seen anyone who wants to go after Chara on the ice? No, of course you haven’t because he is 6-foot-9 and plays like it. Have you ever seen someone with Brian Boyle? Of course you have because he plays like he’s trapped in Nathan Gerbe’s 5-foot-5 body and completely wastes the main reason he has made it this far in his hockey career (his size).

On Monday, Larry Brooks wrote in the New York Post that Brian Boyle has been on the ice for three Rangers goals this season. But on Tuesday he was on the ice for a Rangers goal, so now that number is four. FOUR! F-O-U-R! How is it possible that Boyle has played in 28 games this season and only has one goal and one assist and has been on the ice for four goals and is still dressing for games. Actually how is it possible that he has those numbers over that timeframe and is still on the team? If Jeff Halpern could get waived for a 0-1-1 line in 30 games and Stu Bickel could get waived for a 0-0-0 line in 16 games, how far away are we from Boyle being waived?

Charlie: “Have you read the New York Post?”
Will: “No. My eyes are connected to my brain.”

Bobby Holik wasn’t wearing number 10 for the Rangers on Thursday night.

Wade Redden wasn’t wearing number 10 for the Rangers on Thursday night.

Scott Gomez wasn’t wearing number 10 for the Rangers on Thursday night.

None of the big-name, free-agent busts of the past were wearing number 10 on Thursday night. Marian Gaborik was wearing number 10.

Marian Gaborik has played 251 games with the Rangers. He has 114 goals and 115 assists in those games. He has two 40-plus goal seasons with the Rangers (2009-10 and 2011-12). So why was everyone at MSG booing him on Thursday night? Why was my friend Jim texting me trade proposals for Gaborik from across the MSG ice? The mainstream media, that’s why.

There is this idea that the Rangers no longer need Gaborik, or that his play has been in a free fall since last spring because he has a 9-10-19 line in 32 games. No one mentions that he’s recovering from offseason shoulder surgery and that he battled his way through the playoffs with a torn labrum. No one mentions that Tortorella has used every possible line combination in just 32 games and the lack of chemistry between the team’s best forwards is clearly evident. No one mentions that Gaborik has played left wing his entire life and that Tortorella moved him to right wing despite Gaborik saying he’s uncomfortable on that side of the ice.

Without Gaborik, John Tortorella isn’t the Rangers head coach today. That’s a fact. Without his scoring and Lundqvist’s goaltending last season, the Rangers wouldn’t have been the top seed in the East and most likely would have missed the playoffs for the second time in three years. But Tortorella treats him like a fourth-line plug by benching him and asking him to play a blue-collar style of hockey by sacrificing his body for blocked shots and going into the corners with a purpose rather than being the elite goal scorer he is and is getting paid to be.

If you think Marian Gaborik is the Rangers’ problem then you’re likely someone who screams, “Shoot! Shoot it! Shoot it!” whenever any Ranger on the power play touches the puck. (I think Michael Del Zotto must hear and listen to these unintelligent fans since he does just that whenever he touches the puck on the power play, usually shooting it into someone’ shin pads or missing the next and shooting it into the corner.) Or you’re someone who treats the MSG T-shirt toss like there are blank checks wrapped up inside the shirts. (It’s scary what people will do for free T-shirts or foul balls.)

When Gaborik records a point, the Rangers are 7-3-2. The problem is that’s only 12 games and the Rangers have played 32 games. Gaborik does need to step up his game, but the treatment by him from the media and unintelligent fans has been unwarranted.

Maggie: “I never knew what the word ‘smug’ meant until I met you.”

Here’s John Tortorella’s resume dating back to his first season as head coach of Tampa Bay.

2001-02, Tampa Bay: Missed playoffs

2002-03, Tampa Bay: Lost in second round

2003-04, Tampa Bay: Won Stanley Cup

2005-06, Tampa Bay: Lost in first round

2006-07, Tampa Bay: Lost in first round

2007-08, Tampa Bay: Missed playoffs

2008-09, Rangers: Lost in first round

2009-10, Rangers: Missed playoffs

2010-11, Rangers: Lost in first round

2011-12, Rangers: Lost in Eastern Conference Finals

That’s one Stanley Cup, one Eastern Conference Finals loss, one second-round loss, four first-round exits and three missed playoffs. If Martin Gelinas’ goal counts in Game 6, I’m not here writing about John Tortorella and you’re not reading about John Tortorella because of the resume surrounding his Cup win with the Lightning. But 2003-04 did happen, so here we are.

If the Rangers miss the playoffs (let’s hope this doesn’t happen), Tortorella has to be fired. He has to be. He has one year remaining on his deal for 2013-14 that the Rangers would have to eat, but this is an organization that has eaten and wasted a lot more money than a one-year salary for a head coach for that one year to scare them away from letting him go.

I said last year that the Rangers had to make the Eastern Conference Finals for Tortorella to keep his job. Given their roster and the idea of winning now while Lundqvist is in his prime and while Nash, Gaborik and Richards are still effective (or should still be effective), I think the same goal holds true even if this season should have been about more than just reaching the conference finals.

It’s one thing to be “smug” if you’re Scotty Bowman and you have won the Cup nine times as a head coach in the NHL. But when you’re hanging your hat on one Cup and a lot of underachieving seasons in 12 years, you might want to lose the attitude because those media members you treat like dip spitters might be your colleagues one day when you’re fired and the only job available is one with a microphone in your hand.

My real problem with Tortorella is that he hasn’t proven himself in this city, but acts like his achievements in Tampa Bay hold weight here. They don’t. No Rangers fan cares what you did nine years ago with a Lightning team that had Vincent Lecavalier, Martin St. Louis and a 24-year-old Brad Richards. Two first-round exits, two missed playoffs and a conference finals loss isn’t enough to act like a winner in New York City. And being on the playoff bubble with Nash, Gaborik, Richards and Lundqvist is unacceptable.

MacKenzie: “Be the moral center of this show, be the integrity!”

The keyword here is “center.” Brad Richards plays center. He has five goals and 13 assists in 30 games. He has four points on the power play (the power play he is supposed to run) and just one of them is a goal. He is making $12 million this season. He made $12 million last season. If he plays out his entire Rangers contract, he will make $60 million over nine years.

When Richards signed with the Rangers I was worried about his concussion-riddled past and what it would mean if he sustained another one. I wasn’t worried about his scoring and playmaking ability. I’m not worried about it now either. I’m petrified.

But Richards did play his best game of the season on Tuesday night in Philadelphia (or maybe it just felt like that since he has played so many bad games). He scored on the power play in the second, added an assist in the third, shot the puck and even mixed it up in some scrums in front of the Flyers’ net after whistles. It was almost like the word “urgency” meant something to him or that he realized he is making $12 million and playing well a couple games a year comes with making $12 million.

Will: “What does winning look like to you?”

If we could go back in time to 13 months ago when I was campaigning for the Rangers to trade for Rick Nash, how many people that didn’t want to give up Chris Kreider back then wish the Rangers had? I think all of them.

Nash been the Rangers’ best player this season with 28 points in 28 games and leads the team in goals (12) and assists (16) despite missing four games. The Rangers are 16-10-2 (34 points) when he plays and 0-3-1 (1 point) when he doesn’t. He has been everything the Rangers could have asked for when they traded for him and everything they thought he could be when they almost traded for him 13 months ago.

The 2011-12 Rangers came within two wins of playing in the Stanley Cup Final without Nash. Would they have been able to beat the Kings if they made it there? Most likely not, but who knows? All we know is that the Rangers didn’t get a chance to find out because they couldn’t score enough goals against the Devils. They couldn’t score enough goals because once the lucky bounces and garbage goals they had been accustomed to producing in the regular season stopped happening, their real, true goal-scoring abilities were shown. And with Marian Gaborik playing with a torn labrum, those true goal-scoring abilities were limited to secondary options.

The 2011-12 season was the Rangers’ best chance at winning the Cup since 1996-97. It was the first time they had seen the Eastern Conference Finals in 15 years and everything, and I mean eve-ry-thing, broke their way during the regular season and the playoffs, prior to Adam Henrique’s overtime goal in Game 6, for the Rangers to even make it that far. The amount of come-from-behind wins and last-minute wins (or sometimes last-second wins) and overtime and shootout wins in the regular season was unbelievable. The Vezina play from Henrik Lundqvist, who took it up to a previously unknown level, was incredible and the bounces that went their way to survive two seven-games series and win both Game 7s were unthinkable.

The stars aligned for the Rangers to get to the Eastern Conference Finals in 2011-12 and when you look at the path that was put out for them with a first-round matchup against Ottawa and with Boston and Pittsburgh both eliminated in the first round and Philadelphia eliminated in the second round, it was a New York Giants-esque road to a championship.

I don’t want to look back on the 2011-12 season in a decade when the MSG Network is still creating new documentaries about the 1993-94 season because that was the last time the Rangers made meaningful memories in the spring and summer and think about what could have been if the Rangers traded for Nash five months earlier than they did.

P.S. Chris Kreider has two goals and one assist in 14 games and has been sent down to the AHL twice.

MacKenzie: “When should I start to worry?”
Maggie: “I’d have started already.”

The idea of watching the Stanley Cup playoffs without a real interest has crossed my mind, but I haven’t given it much thought since I also push it away with the notion of “They’ll be fine.” But will they be?

If losing to Florida at home or needing to rally to steal a point from the Capitals is the way this season is going to go and end over the next month then maybe the season won’t ever get out of Episode 2.

So, yes, MacKenzie, I’d have started already too.

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