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Tag: Jon Lester

Blogs • Columns Archive • Giants

Dec 19, 2012

This Is What a Second-Half Collapse Looks Like

The Giants are looking at the possibility of another second-half collapse. Eli Manning doesn’t seem too worried about it.

Last year the Giants were 6-2 and to open the second half of their schedule they lost to the 49ers in Week 9 even though it had been determined before the game that the Giants would lose to the 49ers. It had been determined because that’s what New York Giants football had been and has been in the second half of the regular season during the Tom Coughlin era.

I remember being scared on Nov. 13, 2011 after that loss to the 49ers because of the 5-0 start in 2009 that ended with an 8-8 season and the 7-4 start in 2010 that DeSean Jackson destroyed. So when the Giants lost to the 49ers and opened the second half of the 2011 season with a loss, it made me think, “Oh eff, this isn’t happening again, isn’t it?”

The media thought it could be happening again too. So they asked Coughlin about the Giants’ recent second-half collapses over and over the way Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) asks Larry if the paper in his the Ziploc bag is his homework in The Big Lebowski. But instead of “Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?” it was “Is this the start of another second-half collapse, Tom? Is this the start of another second-half collapse, Tom? Is this the start of another second-half collapse, Tom?”

Coughlin sat there like Larry just giving the media a confused and disgusted look while I chimed in from the side like The Dude with “We know it’s the start of another second-half collapse, Tom!” But unlike The Dude, I never told him that there were people threatening to cut off his manhood.

Eventually Coughlin responded to the media’s questions about the possibility of another second-half collapse.

“I can’t imagine why this question keeps coming up in terms of you have to take each year one at a time.”

That’s right. He really said that. Tom Coughlin couldn’t imagine why the media kept asking him about second-half collapses as if they had made up the idea that the Giants had been awful during his time as head coach in the second half of the regular season. How bad had the Giants been in the second half under Coughlin prior to that question being asked? Let’s take a look.

2004: The Giants start the year 5-2 with Kurt Warner starting and showing Eli the ropes. They lose back-to-back games to fall to 5-4 and start planning for the future by letting Eli start, which causes unrest and division in the locker room. Eli goes 1-6 in his first seven starts in the league, but wins the final game of the year against the Cowboys. The Giants finish the year at 6-10 and don’t make the playoffs.

2005: It’s Eli’s first full year. The Giants go 6-2 in the first half of the season then go 5-3 in the second half of the season. They make the playoffs for the first time since blowing a 24-point lead against the 49ers in the 2002 playoffs. The Giants lose 23-0 at home in the first round of the playoffs, as Eli goes 10-for-18 for 113 yards with no touchdowns and three interceptions. The Giants finish with just 132 total yards in the game. Bad finish.

2006: The Giants start the year 6-2, but are now 7-7, and entering Week 16, for them to clinch a playoff berth, they need one of two scenarios to happen.

1. Win + Minnesota loss or tie + Atlanta loss + Philadelphia win or tie + Seattle win or tie.

OR

2. Win + Minnesota loss or tie + Atlanta loss + Philadelphia win or tie + San Francisco loss or tie.

The Giants lose 30-7 to the Saints, but the Vikings, Falcons, Seahawks and 49ers all lose too, and the Giants basically hit the biggest parlay ever. Only the Eagles win, so the Giants just need to win in Week 17 against the Redskins and they make the playoffs at 8-8.

The Giants beat the Redskins to get into the playoffs at 8-8 thanks to a Giants single-game rushing record of 234 yards (on just 23 carries) from Tiki Barber. The Giants are just the ninth team in history to reach the postseason without a winning record. After starting the year 6-2, they finish the year 2-6. Then they lose 23-20 to the Eagles in the first round of the playoffs on a David Akers 38-yard field goal with no time remaining.

2007: They start the year 0-2, but win six in a row after that. After their bye in Week 9, they finish the year 4-4, and with a 10-6 record, they are the No. 5 seed in the playoffs. They run the table on the road in the NFC playoffs, beating the Buccaneers, Cowboys and Packers and then beat the 18-0 Patriots in the Super Bowl.

2008: They’re 11-1, but are now without Plaxico Burress for the rest of the year. The Giants finish the regular season 1-3 (they would have finished 0-4 if John Kasay didn’t miss a field goal for the Panthers in Week 16), but still get the No. 1 seed in the NFC playoffs. They lose in the divisional round at home to the Eagles 23-11.

2009: They start the year 5-0, and then lose four games in a row. They come off their bye week to beat the Falcons in Week 11, but lose four of their last six games in embarrassing fashion to finish the year at 8-8, and miss the playoffs.

2010: They’re 6-2 after Week 9, but then they lose to Jon Kitna and the 2-6 Cowboys at home, and then they lose in Philadelphia the following week thanks to five turnovers and an Eli dive that turns into a fumble with the Giants down by seven and 2:51 left in the game. At 6-4, the Giants win three in a row, and have a chance to lock up the NFC East in Week 15 at home against the Eagles. They blow a 21-point lead with 7:18 left and lose. They have a chance to rebound the following week and still make the playoffs, but they lose 45-17 in Green Bay. In Week 17, they need a win against the Redskins and a Bears win over the Packers. They beat the Redskins 17-14 on the road, but the Bears lose to the Packers.

And then there’s 2011, which was a Tony Romo to Miles Austin completion away from being maybe the worst collapse of them all. After losing to the 49ers, the Giants lost the next three games to start the second half of their season 0-4, dropping them to 6-6. We all know what happened in the final five minutes and 41 seconds in Dallas in Week 14 and after that, but no one knew all of that would happen. No one could fathom that all of that would happen and happen essentially the same way it did four years before.

It’s been 13 months and a Super Bowl since Coughlin gave that puzzling answer to a legitimate question about what the eff goes on with his teams once the ninth game of the year rolls around the way I wonder what the eff happens to Mark Teixeira when the calendar turns to October. And I understand that Coughlin was doing what any coach would do by protecting his players and trying to stifle questions about the team’s horrifying collapses the way Willie Randolph didn’t want to talk about October 2006 or September 2007 in the spring of 2008. I can understand why Coughlin was irritated by the questioning, but I can’t understand how he couldn’t “imagine” the questions being asked.

But a year later, the weird answers haven’t stopped coming out of the Giants locker room. And this time it’s Eli Manning who’s making me think this Sunday against the Ravens or next Sunday against the Eagles might force me into a nine-month depression until Week 1 of the 2013 season. If you didn’t watch Sunday’s debacle in Atlanta and only listened to Eli answer questions after the game, you never would have guessed which team lost 34-0 and which team is now playing postseason games from here on out for the rest of the 2012 season. Here is Eli after the loss to the Falcons.

On summing up the loss to the Falcons.

“I think you’ve got to look at the good things and look at the bad and we had some opportunities. We got down in scoring range four times and got no points.”

Eli Manning has earned the Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera treatment from me. Well, he has almost earned it. Because I did slip twice early on Sunday and “Ladies and gentlemen” Eli after his first pick and then after his second pick. But for the most part, it’s those three and Henrik Lundqvist in the New York sports scene that I will never, ever, ever (OK, rarely ever) criticize.

But by being in that elite class, there comes responsibility. And if you’re going to open things by telling people to look at the “good” and the “bad” of a 34-0 loss then I can’t help you. What good could have come from being run out of the Georgia Dome? And if you’re going to give an example of something “good” that happened and it’s that you got deep into Falcons’ territory four times and scored zero points then maybe I should find something else to do on the next two Sundays.

On whether or not he is confused about which team is going to show up every Sunday.

“No. We could have executed better. I think it’s just a matter of certain plays.”

You’re not confused? Oh, OK. Because I haven’t been this confused since Nick Swisher bunted against Jon Lester with a runner on second and one out in 2011.

And “a matter of certain plays?” You lost 34-0. Thirty-four to nothing. That means you lost by five possessions. That’s a little more than a matter of “certain plays.” That’s a whole game of sucking. That’s 60 minutes of bad football.

On the team’s confidence.

“The confidence is great. Your confidence is high because of the coaches that we have, the character of the players we have, the talent of the players we have and our preparation will be good. We’re going to have a chance to go out there and perform well.”

I’m not sure how the team could have any confidence after that game, let alone “great” confidence heading to Baltimore. But, OK. I will take your word for it since I don’t really have any other choice.

And preparation? Let me just say that after the 34-0 loss several Giants said the team looked great in practice all week. You know who doesn’t reference how great the team looked in practice all week? Teams that win.

On how the team will react.

“I think we’re going to react great. If you say at the beginning of the season that you have two games left and you’ve got to win both of them to be in the playoffs, I think you’d take it. This is an opportunity you ask for. These are circumstances you want to be in. Could there be better circumstances? Yeah, of course. There can always be better, but there could be much worse.”

You want a last chance opportunity because you already blew every other opportunity? OK? But what if I said after Week 12, “You’re 7-4 with a chance to end the division race with a win over the Redskins in Week 13? Would you take that?” Because you had that opportunity and you let it get away.

“We like our chances. We know what we need to do and it’s right in front of us and we’ve got to go out there and win this game this week.”

And if you don’t? Actually, don’t answer that.

On the team reacting well to being in a must-win situation at the end of the year.

“I think just because we trust each other and our preparation is good and I think we just have good character guys and guys who understand the importance of this and understand that they treat their football careers very seriously and understand that this is a big game for us.”

If these “guys who understand the importance of this and understand that they treat their football careers very seriously” then wouldn’t those “guys” have not blown the Steelers game or been embarrassed by the Bengals or lost to the Redskins or done whatever you want to call what happened on Sunday?

On having the players on the team question Sunday’s performance.

“For the most part, I think we’ve been in every game that we’ve played in this season, had a chance to win every one except this one, which got out of hand. But for the most part we’ve been tight in every game and not every game is going to be perfect.”

34-0. Yes, I would say “out of hand” is a good way to describe it. At least we’re being honest now.

On playing well in must-win games in previous years.

“These are the circumstances you want to be in. You want to be fighting to make it in the playoffs and that’s just football and you understand it’s tough to make the playoffs. You’ve got to work. You’ve got to win games. You’ve got to win important games and this is a chance. This is as important a game as you can have, this upcoming game, and our mindset is the playoffs have started. This is it. This game right here is huge. It’s the most important game and it’s a must-win game for us.”

You’re right, this is a must-win game for the Giants. But all of the games for the Giants are must-win games from now until however long their 2012 season goes. And I should have known that would be the case before the season even started. It always is.

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Blogs • Yankees

Dec 12, 2012

Is This Real Life?: The Kevin Youkilis Story

Kevin Youkilis is a Yankee. Yes, this is real life.

The first column I wrote for WFAN.com was on Feb. 1, 2010 and it was titled “I’m Going To Miss Johnny Damon.” This past August I wrote a column titled “I Forgive Derek Lowe.” Prior to Game 4 of the ALCS, I was using Curt Schilling’s “Why not us?” slogan and after the Yankees’ season ended following that Game 4, I was tweeting about wanting David Ortiz on the Yankees. Here we are a few months later and I’m writing about how ecstatic I am that the Yankees signed Kevin Youkilis. There’s an 18-year-old, freshman-in-college version of myself from 2004 that’s looking at the 26-year-old 2012 version of me with the same blank stare I looked at the TV in my Somerset Street dorm in Boston when Johnny Damon hit that first-pitch grand slam off Javier Vazquez in Game 7. If you find me writing about wanting the Yankees to make a deal for Josh Beckett prior to the 2013 trade deadline, please one-punch or bottle me. (I know frenemy Mike Hurley is looking for a reason to do either, so you might have to get in line to land the punch to my jaw or break the bottle over my head.)

Yes, it’s real life that Kevin Youkilis is now a Yankee (pending a physical), but the question posed in the title is asking how I could have not only wanted this man on the Yankees, but how I could now be ready to pull for this guy and participate in “KEV-IN” chants for Roll Call and be a fan of the man that I have spent nearly a decade hating.

For three years I have written an All-Animosity Team though I have kept one in my head for a lot longer than three years. In 2010, Youkilis was the first baseman for the team and in 2011 he was the third baseman, and if it weren’t for the existence of Beckett, Youkilis would have been the face of the All-Animosity franchise. It would have been Youkilis and not Beckett on the signs outside the All-Animosity stadium and on the All-Animosity tickets and on the cover of the All-Animosity media guide, and it would have been Youkilis’ jersey that all the kids would be wearing to the All-Animosity Team’s games. But unfortunately for Kevin Youkilis, and really for all of us, Josh Beckett is who he is.

Here’s what I wrote about Youkilis for the first All-Animosity Team on WFAN.com on April 16, 2010.

First base: Kevin Youkilis plays the game hard, and he is the textbook example for a guy you’d love on your team, but hate to see playing against your team. His entire look, demeanor, unorthodox batting stance and approach to the game is worth despising, and that’s before you factor in his .317 career average against the Yankees. Youkilis has taken over as the most feared hitter in the Red Sox lineup, becoming one of the toughest outs in baseball, and therefore my disgust with him has grown ten fold.

And here’s what I wrote about Youkilis for the second All-Animosity Team for WFAN.com on April 8, 2011.

Third Base: I don’t think I need to explain why Kevin Youkilis is still here. Just focus on him for 30 seconds during a Yankees-Red Sox game and you’ll understand.

Youkilis didn’t make the roster in 2012 because I created the team on June 6 rather than in April like the previous two years and the day I wrote it, Youkilis had played in just 31 games and was hitting .236/.315/.382 with four home runs and 12 RBIs. His Red Sox career had started making its way toward the exit with Bobby Valentine as his escort and the timing for my writing and Youkilis’ season couldn’t have been worse for his bid at three straight teams. Even without cracking the All-Animosity roster, Youkilis still made the column. Here’s what I wrote about Youkilis on June 6.

Kevin Youkilis is the only player to make the All-Animosity Team at two different positions. This will likely be written on his All-Animosity Hall of Fame plaque.

There will be a fourth All-Animosity Team during the 2013 season, but Youkilis won’t be a part of it. And for as weird as this is for me and I’m assuming all Yankee fans, Youkilis has to be weirded out, skeptical, uncertain and worried about all of this and putting on the pinstripes as well like Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) handing his passport to the U.S. customs official at the end of Inception.

The first time the Yankees visited Fenway Park in 2009, I was still living in Boston and I decided to spend a ridiculous amount of money that I couldn’t afford to spend to sit behind home plate for the Friday, April 24 night game. Up until that night when I sat behind home I had really own seen disastrous, heart-breaking games for the Yankees in Fenway. Here are some of them.

May 18, 1999 – Joe Torre returns to the Yankees after missing the beginning of the season to battle prostate cancer. David Cone and Pedro Martinez go toe-to-toe, but trailing 3-2 late, Jason Grimsley can’t keep it close as he gives up three runs in the bottom of the eighth.

April 16, 2004 – In the first meeting of the season, Javier Vazquez gives up two home runs in the first inning and three total as the Yankees are shut down by Tim Wakefield over seven innings. Oh yeah, Kenny Lofton led off for the Yankees. He went 0-for-5.

Oct 18, 2004 – Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS, which also happens to be the third-worst night of my life. The second being Game 6 and the first being Game 7.

April 14, 2005 – Randy Johnson gets lit up for five runs and Tom Gordon turns a 5-5 tie into an 8-5 loss with an embarrassing eighth inning. And to top it all off, Gary Sheffield brawls with some fans in right field.

May 1, 2006 – Johnny Damon returns to Boston as Friendly Fenway’s center field gets littered with money. Tied 3-3 in the eighth, Tanyon Sturtze gives up the go-ahead run. With two men on and David Ortiz due up, Joe Torre calls for the Mike Myers, the lefty specialist and the man the Yankees acquired for the sole purpose of facing Ortiz. Ortiz cranks a three-run home run into the New England night.

April 22, 2007 – After losing the first two games of the series, the Yankees take a 3-0 lead in the rubber match on Sunday Night Baseball. But after holding the Red Sox scoreless for the first two innings, rookie Chase Wright allows Manny Ramirez, J.D. Drew, Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek to go back-to-back-to-back-to-back on him to take a 4-3 lead. The Yankees would take the lead back in the sixth only to have Scott Proctor give up a three-run home run to Lowell in the seventh.

Looking back, I don’t think I had ever seen the Yankees win at Fenway Park entering the 2009 season. And that streak didn’t end right away either. That Friday night when I spent money I couldn’t afford to spend, I watched the worst game in Fenway since Oct. 18, 2004.

The Yankees led 4-2 in the ninth with two outs and Mariano Rivera on the mound and Kevin Youkilis on first base. Jason Bay swung at a 1-0 pitch from number 42 and it landed over the wall in straightaway center at Fenway. I knew the Yankees weren’t going to win that game, but I stayed to watch the horror unfold in extra innings.

Sure enough, in the 11th inning Damaso Marte’s left arm grooved the most hittable pitch in major league history right down the middle for Kevin Youkilis and when Youkilis made contact, I knew the ball wasn’t going to land in Fenway and I wasn’t sure if it was even going to land at all. I’m still not sure it ever landed. If it did, it probably ended up in the living room of a Newbury Street apartment. And to top things off, I lost my ID and wasn’t able to go to a bar and drink my sorrows away.

I didn’t go to Fenway for the Saturday afternoon game the following day, which might have been my best decision of 2009 (besides missing the Opening Day disaster at the Stadium). Why was it such a good decision? Well, the Yankees held a 6-0 lead in the fourth inning before A.J. Burnett showed us for the first time just who A.J. Burnett could be as he gave up a grand slam to Jason Varitek (no, that’s not a typo) as part of the eight runs he would allow over his final two innings of work. The Yankees lost 16-11.

But I did go to Fenway the next night for Sunday Night Baseball and my streak continued when Andy Pettitte fell apart in the fifth inning and with Jacoby Ellsbury on third base and David Ortiz on second, after doubling in the go-ahead run, Pettitte allowed Ellsbury to steal home on him. I watched the whole thing happen in slow motion from my seat on the first-base line.

Nearly two months later, I watched the Yankees lose again at Fenway. It was June 10 and Chien-Ming Wang continued the worst season ever and was relieved by Phil Hughes, which ended up being a move and decision that would save the Yankees’ season.

If you don’t remember, the Yankees opened 0-8 against the Red Sox in 2009. This came following a year in which the Yankees missed the playoffs for the first time since 1993 and the Red Sox had come within one win of their second straight World Series appearance and third since the Yankees had last reached the Series in 2003. The Red Sox had developed players the way the Yankees used to and it seemed like maybe I would be on the other end of nearly a century of losing. Sure, none of this happened, but on June 11, 2009 when the Yankees were 0-8 against the Red Sox (despite being 34-18 against everyone else) it seemed like a real possibility. It seemed like a real possibility in the same way as October 2006 when the Mets might become the more successful New York baseball team and in 2009 and 2010 when it seemed like the Jets would become the more successful New York football team. Again, none of this happened. Thankfully.

Kevin Youkilis represented change in the shift of power in the AL East, the way Frank Lucas represented a shift of power in the heroin game in New York City. And when I think of Youkilis and Pedroia and Ellsbury and how I felt in the middle of 2009 before they were swept by the Angels and before they didn’t reach the playoffs in 2010, 2011 or 2012, I can’t help, but think about the exchange between Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) and Richie Roberts (Russell Crowe) at the end of American Gangster.

Richie: The only thing they hate more than you is what you represent.

Frank: I don’t represent nothing.

Richie: You don’t? Black businessman like you? Of course you do. But once you’re gone, things can return to normal.

I had grown accustomed to the Red Sox being so bad for so long that their success from 2003 through 2008 and their finding new ways to embarrass the Yankees early in 2009 kept me up at night. With John Henry tweeting about The Curse of Mark Teixeira, it was impossible to not look at Youkilis and Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia and Jon Lester and wonder how long this would continue or if it would ever end and if things would ever return to normal.

I said back in August that “Derek Lowe on the Yankees puts a little dent into what happened on those four nights. No, it doesn’t erase it because nothing ever will, but it helps to cope with what happened. Johnny Damon shaving his head and pointing during Roll Call and becoming a Red Sox killer and stealing third base against the Phillies and getting doused in champagne in the Yankees clubhouse put a massive dent in it.” Youkilis and David Ortiz had been the only remaining pieces of the 2004 team as of last year, even if Youkilis played as much of a role in the ’04 postseason (0-for-2 with a strikeout) as me. But what Youkilis did for the Red Sox from 2006 on and how big of a role he played in changing the culture of who the Red Sox became (not so much anymore) and what they represent (also, not so much anymore) means a dent right around the size of Damon’s.

I have always hated the “YOUUUUUUUUUK!” cheers as much as I have hated “Sweet Caroline” and the way I hated Jonathan Papelbon pounding the bullpen police officer before running to the mound. But once upon a time I also hated Johnny Damon and Derek Lowe. I have spent the last nine summers hating Kevin Youkilis, but I will spend this summer pulling for those nine-pitch at-bats that result in a double in the gap the way they tortured me for so many years. So I guess there’s only one thing to do.

“YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!” Welcome to New York. Just don’t ask for number 20.

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Blogs • Yankees

Jul 30, 2012

Yankees-Red Sox Weekend Diary

The Yankees dropped two of three to the Red Sox, but with a 7 1/2-game lead in the division, it’s not a big deal.

“Maybe they [the Yankees] won’t get in [the playoffs]. Who knows? Crazy things happen in this game.”

Those words are from a real man in real life. Those words are from Bobby Valentine after Sunday night’s game.

I’m in a surprisingly good mood for a Monday in which the Yankees lost two of three to the Red Sox in the Bronx. Why?

But the only thing keeping my mood from being as good as it could possibly be is knowing that Bobby Valentine went to bed last night and woke up today with a smug grin on his face after his team won an extra-inning game at the Stadium following his ejection. If you don’t think he has a smug grin on his face today then you didn’t watch the game last night. If you need a recap of the game just re-read the above quote.

There’s a 100-percent chance that Bobby thinks his antics following a botched, but difficult hit-by-pitch call was the reason for his team’s win rather than David Robertson walking Jarrod Saltalamacchia to lead off the 10th and then giving up two singles. It was Bobby Valentine’s charisma and geniusness (no, that’s not a real word) that led to Will Middlebrook’s line-drive single and Pedro Ciriaco’s bloop to right field. Orel Hershiser even said, “This is a way to get his team inspired.” Once again, the Red Sox are 51-51.

It was all Bobby Valentine. Well, maybe not all Bobby Valentine. The Red Sox might have also won because of Josh Beckett even though he didn’t throw a pitch.

Beckett joined Valentine in berating the umpires for a call that would have been hard for any home plate umpire to make, let alone one that was on the ground in pain because Middlebrooks couldn’t get a bunt down properly or pull his bat back in time.

“[Beckett wanted this win as badly as I did,” Valentine said. “He shows that a lot. I guess it was on national TV, so it’s even better.”

Beckett really wanted that game on Sunday night. Either that or he knows he can’t be missing from the dugout and back in the clubhouse during games anymore, but if he can’t be in the dugout by rule? Well, that’s a different story. But Beckett wanted this game bad. His last start in Texas when he blew the game on a wild pitch? Ehh, that one he didn’t “want” so much. (I like how Valentine had to “guess” that the game was on national TV even though it started at 8 p.m. on a Sunday and there were ESPN banners hanging down the lines and he was part of that same broadcast team last year and he did a segment with them during the game between innings. Good “guess!”)

Bobby and Beckett (potential children’s book title?) weren’t the only ones putting on a show for the the only .500 team to still regularly participate in nationally televised games. There was Adrian Gonzalez chirping the umpires from the dugout as he apparently found someone other than God and the nationally televised schedule to blame the Red Sox’ problems on.

It shouldn’t bother me that right now Bobby Valentine is somewhere smiling and maybe building a fence or a deck, thinking that he willed the Red Sox to a win. It bothers me a little less when I remember that despite losing two of three at home to the Red Sox, the Yankees still lead the East by 7 1/2 games and lead the Red Sox by 9 1/2 games.

I decided to go to the diary format that I used for the first part of the Subway Series back in June for this past weekend. Just pretend like you’re reading this in one of those black-and-white Mead composition notebooks.

FRIDAY
We’ll never know what would have happened if Mark Teixeira didn’t beat out that potential inning-ending double play in the first, which turned a scoreless inning for the Yankees into a three-run first. But let’s not pretend like Aaron Cook would have shut the Yankees out for the rest of the game.

There are pitchers that “pitch to contact” and then there’s Aaron Cook. Cook has thrown 40 innings for the Red Sox in seven starts. He has only walked four hitters, but he’s also only struck out four hitters. That might be a way to navigate through a lineup like Seattle, which he did on June 29 with a complete-game shutout, but when you’re trying to go through the Yankees lineup without an out pitch at Yankee Stadium you’re going to be back in the clubhouse early setting up the beer pong table with Josh Beckett.

Phil Hughes allowed three runs, but it should come as no surprise that the three runs came on three solo home runs. Hughes leads the league with 25 home runs allowed, and has matched his total from 2010 despite nine less starts and 55 fewer innings pitched, and he still has 12 or 13 starts left this year. I’m not sure if Hughes is going to get a postseason start this year, but if he does, it can’t be at Yankee Stadium. Even though he’s 7-3, 3.93 at home and 3-5, 4.27 on the road, Hughes has given up 17 home runs in 68 2/3 innings at home.

Thank you, Mark Melancon. That’s all.

SATURDAY
Every once in a while CC Sabathia has these starts where he can’t get it together and you get the feeling that every pitch is going to end up falling in somewhere. For some reason these starts seem to frequently come against the Red Sox.

Sabathia did a terrible job in his previous by allowing back-to-back home runs to the immortal Brandon Inge and Kurt Suzuki (who always hits CC well) and let the A’s back in a game they would come all the way back to win. There’s nothing really more to say other than chalk it up as another bad start for CC against the Red Sox, and I’m sure he’ll bounce back and cruise through the Mariners lineup this weekend.

If you read any Boston sports site on Sunday morning, you would have thought Jon Lester went out and pitched a complete-game shutout. “Lester can build off this start!” “Maybe Lester is about to get hot!” “Lester can save the season!”

Guess what Jon Lester’s line was on Saturday.

6 IP, 4 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 2 HR

He entered the game with an embarrassing 5.46 ERA and he left with a 5.49 ERA. That’s right his ERA went up, but somehow he has a chance to build off this start. Hey, whenever the ace of your staff is going to use the equivalent of 6.00 ERA to build off you know you’re in good shape. When you combine Lester’s fantastic six-inning, four-run start with Beckett’s Hall of Fame heckling abilities, maybe that big run Bobby Valentine has been talking about since April isn’t an empty promise or his version of Michael Scott’s “Scott’s Tots.”

I’m not sure there are any Vicente Padilla fans out there. Not one. And I’m only talking about him from his on-the-field antics, which include starting multiple bench-clearing brawls and frequent head hunting. I have yet to find a redeeming quality from Padilla other than he usually blows up in a big spot against the Yankees.

Padilla’s nemesis, Mark Teixeira, got the best of their battle on July 6 at Fenway with a two-run triple for which I awarded Teixeira 25 games of “Ladies and gentlemen” immunity. On Saturday night Teixeira tagged him for a game-tying, two-run home run and earned himself an additional 15 games of “Ladies and gentlemen” immunity. After hitting his mammoth blast deep into seats, Teixeira moved slower out of the box and down the first-base line than Jorge Posada ever did trying to break up a double play.  If I’m Joe Girardi, the next time Padilla enters a game against the Red Sox, I would make sure my guys are on the top step, and I would tell Mike Harkey to have the bullpen door unlocked and ready to swing open.

As for Curtis Granderson … a bad time to make a bad read.

SUNDAY
I can’t remember not being upset about losses to the Red Sox the way I was on Saturday and Sunday night. But if you want to win games in extra innings, you can’t walk Jarrod Saltalamacchia, a .233 hitter with  a .285 on-base percentage entering the game, to begin the 10th inning. You also might want to score more than two runs on seven hits and five walks. Just some advice for next time.

Hiroki Kuroda redeemed himself after that horrendous Fourth of July weekend start against the Red Sox that he made me sit through at Fenway Park. Kuroda lowered his ERA to 3.28 and now 11 of his 21 starts have consisted of at least seven innings and two earned runs or less. I had put the “Coin Flip” nickname on temporary hold, but I think the name is gone forever. In fact, I’m willing to forget that I ever created it in the first place.

For a moment during the Sunday Night Baseball broadcast, Terry Francona had nothing insightful to add to the broadcast so he went to the recycling bin for the overused conversation starter of “The new Yankee Stadium isn’t the old Yankee Stadium.” Thanks for the observation, Terry. Is the “new” anything the same as the “old” anything? Everyone misses the Stadium from the other side of River Ave., but it’s gone and there’s a public park in its place now. The almost four-year-old Yankee Stadium is now Yankee Stadium, and no amount of conversations about it not living up to the old place are going to bring the old one back.

Francona complained about the atmosphere at the new Stadium and Orel Hershiser chimed in about the fans not getting as loud as they used to in the old one especially for a Yankees-Red Sox game like Sunday night. I would put my level of caring about the outcome of Yankees-Red Sox games up against anyone not playing in the games, and if I’m here saying that I wasn’t that upset with the outcomes on Saturday and Sunday night then I’m not going to expect the Stadium crowd to be that distraught about the Yankees’ AL East lead falling to 7 1/2 games and their lead over the Red Sox falling to 9 1/2.

The Red Sox haven’t won a postseason game since the new Stadium opened and the one time they came to the Stadium for a meaningful late-season series was in August 2009. The Yankees swept that four-game series and in the series finale on Sunday night, Johnny Damon and Mark Teixeira went back to back off Daniel Bard and I heard the Stadium as loud the old place would get for a regular-season game. The new place gets loud when it needs to (the way it did for A-Rod’s two-home run off Joe Nathan in Game 2 of the 2009 ALDS, and Teixeira’s walk-off homer in that same game), but it’s hard to keep getting excited about playing a last-place team.

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Blogs • MLB

Jul 27, 2012

My Favorite Things About the 2012 Red Sox

The Red Sox are at Yankee Stadium for the weekend, so let’s look at some of the things that make the 2012 Red Sox the disaster that they are.

I shouldn’t be writing a column about how much I hate the Red Sox and calling the AL East race over given my history with my enemy. But math says I can write it and get away with it. Here’s why.

The Yankees are 59-39. The Red Sox are 49-50. The Yankees have played .602 baseball. The Red Sox have played .495 baseball. If the Yankees play .602 baseball the rest of the way they will go 39-25 and finish the season at 98-64. That would mean the Red Sox would have to go 49-14 to tie them. But let’s say the Yankees, for some reason, play just .500 baseball the rest of the way, going 32-32 and finishing the season at 91-71. The Red Sox would have to go 42-21 to tie them, and the Orioles would have to go 39-24 and the Rays would have to go 40-23 and the Blue Jays would have to go 42-22 to catch the Yankees. One thing though: the Yankees aren’t going to play just .500 baseball the rest of the way.

So it’s time to tuck the 2012 Red Sox in and put them to bed when it comes to the division. We could probably turn out the lights on their wild-card aspirations as well. Yes, the Red Sox are only 4 1/2 games out of playing in a one-game playoff, but there are also seven teams ahead of them, and they are the last possible team with a shot because the Mariners, Royals and Twins are all 10 1/2 games out or more. So not only do the Red Sox need to play better than they have since the beginning of September 2011 (and nothing suggests they will), they need six teams from the list of the Angels, A’s, Tigers, Orioles, Rays, Indians and Blue Jays to play worse than them.

I never thought things could get any worse for the Red Sox than they were after the last game of last season. Who would have thought things could get worse than having the Boston Herald call you the “Best Team Ever” and NESN saying you are going to challenge the 1927 Yankees as the “Greatest Team in Major League History” before blowing a nine-game lead in September? And who would have thought things could get worse than having the best manager in franchise history “fired” and slandered on his way out and the general manager of the franchise’s turnaround leave to go work on another epic championship drought? Who would have thought that things could get worse than the owner of your team barging into the station of the city’s No. 1 afternoon drive show only to make a fool out of himself, leaving an endless supply of sound bytes and drops for that station for the rest of their existence? I never thought things could get worse for the Red Sox, but they have, and I can’t describe the amount of joy running through my body because of it.

Talking about this team is like reminiscing about my favorite parts of Dumb and Dumber with my friends. “Oh man, my favorite part was Harry’s face right before Joe is about to eat the burger!” “No, wait … my favorite part was when Lloyd gives Nicholas the IOUs!” “Actually my favorite part was when Lloyd is trying to read the newspaper!” “No, I take it back. My favorite part was when Lloyd tells Harry that he sold Petey!” When I talk about the 2012 Red Sox I get that excited. I can’t figure out if my favorite thing is that John Lackey is making $15.25 million this year to not pitch (and $15.25 million for each of the next two years to likely pitch poorly) or that Carl Crawford still has five years left on his $142 million deal after this season. Or it might be that Josh Beckett is hated by the entire city of Boston or that David Ortiz called Boston a “sh-thole” and openly complains about the contract he agreed to any chance he gets, but he still gets a standing ovation before each at-bat at Fenway.

Since the Red Sox are a train wreck that arrives in the Bronx this weekend for a series that could put the final dagger into the hearts of Boston baseball fans looking for something to fill the time between now and the Patriots’ Week 1 game, I decided to put together a list of some of my favorite things from my favorite figures that take the most blame from Red Sox, and therefore are my favorite Red Sox.

– “Bobby Valentine is a baseball genius.” That is what the public was told about him over and over during the winter and spring. Maybe he is. Maybe he has just been dealt a bad hand with a bad team. But I’m not sure the “genius” tag belongs to someone in charge of a 49-50 team on July 27.

Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t stand looking at Kevin Youkilis on the Red Sox, and I still can’t stand looking at him now that he’s on the White Sox. But I respected Youkilis and that he became a strong part of the rivalry and what made the rivalry special. And that’s why it was disgusting to watch him get removed for a pinch runner at Fenway while Bobby Valentine stood on the top step in the Red Sox dugout clapping for Youkilis, as if he were proud of him, and getting the rest of the team up to clap for him, and then pushing Youkilis out of the dugout for a curtain call. Was Bobby applauding in celebration of what Youkilis meant to the Red Sox in the pre-Bobby V era or was he applauding that he had won the war with Youkilis and he had finally got rid of him?

– Joining Bobby V in the applause for Youkilis was Adrian Gonzalez. Gonzalez stood there clapping as the face of the future of the Red Sox with six more years left on his contract despite being the face of the new-look Red Sox that have failed to meet expectations.

I was petrified of Gonzalez joining the Red Sox last season and taking that swing to Fenway Park and to Yankee Stadium and the short porch for nine games a year. Now? I’m not exactly nervous about Gonzalez stepping into the box. Neither was Chris Davis.

Gonzalez (or “Gonzilla” as NESN once tried to dub him) blamed the Red Sox’ 2011 season on God and the national TV schedule. So who is he going to blame the 2012 season on? Bobby Valentine? Ben Cherington? Tim Thomas’ Facebook page?

– Carl Crawford plays left field, and when you play in left field you need to be able to throw the ball to the infield. The problem is Crawford’s playing with an elbow that will need to be surgically repaired sometime between now and next season, and he is unable to make all the throws. So what does that mean? Well, it means that the Red Sox are trying to find a way for the shortstop to help Crawford make the throws to the cutoff man less strenuous. You know, normal Major League Baseball problems. No big deal.

Crawford was one of my favorite non-Yankees, which I wrote about on Wednesday and there aren’t many of those. (Really he was before the Rays became a threat, so I’m talking about the 2002-2007 Carl Crawford). Once he became a Red Sox I despised him though I can’t stop thanking him for eating seven years and $142 million from the Red Sox, which will cost them the opportunity to re-sign Jacoby Ellsbury after next season. Maybe this is his way of paying me back for enjoying his play all of those years? Thanks, Carl!

– Josh Beckett has been the starting pitcher on my All-Animosity Team for three straight years, and I have only been making an All-Animosity Team for three years. And there’s a good chance that even when he doesn’t play baseball anymore he will still hold that spot because that’s how much I hate Josh Beckett.

Every start that Beckett goes out and loses means another day I can read negative stories about him, so for me it’s easy to root against him. You would think that it wouldn’t be as easy for fans of the team he plays for to root against him, but that’s not the case. Hey, at least Red Sox Nation and I can agree on one thing!

Beckett was the Pied Piper of the pitching staff with the beer drinking and fried chicken eating. He played golf despite missing a start due to injury and then told the media that he can do whatever he wants on his off day and that his off day is his off day even if it was his off day during a time when he missed a start. Before the season he put it out there that his wife and baby and his family were the most important thing to him, which is sensible, but is that a reason to not be good at your job? I think there might have been one or two other MLB players who were able to balance having a job for seven months a year and a family, but I could be wrong.

Part of me wants Beckett to get traded with the Red Sox forced to eat a large amount of his contract. But the other part of me wants him to stay with the Red Sox and continue to lose games for them. Really, it’s a win-win situation.

– Try to guess who these two pitchers are.

Pitcher A through 20 starts: 124.2 IP, 105 H, 64, R, 58 ER, 58 BB, 104 K, 17 HR, 4.19 ERA, 1.311 WHIP

Pitcher B through 20 starts: 120.1 IP, 138 H, 79 R, 73 ER, 38 BB, 100 K, 16 HR, 5.46 ERA, 1.462 WHIP

Pitcher A is A.J. Burnett in 2011 for the Yankees.

Pitcher B is Jon Lester in 2012 for the Red Sox.

Is there anyone in Boston giving Lester the “Ladies and gentlemen” treatment every fifth day?

There was a time when Jon Lester was the last pitcher I wanted to see against the Yankees. There was a time when you could have given me Justin Verlander or David Price or Roy Halladay against the Yankees or Jered Weaver or Cliff Lee … well no, not Cliff Lee … or James Shields or Felix Hernandez … actually don’t give me Felix Hernandez either. OK, so when you factor in Lee and Hernandez, there was a time when Lester was the third-to-last pitcher I wanted to see against the Yankees. That’s still pretty good. The point is that time is over. Right now I want the Yankees to face Jon Lester. I’m excited for Saturday’s game. I want Jon Lester on the mound at Yankee Stadium.

Dennis Eckersley has picked Lester to win the Cy Young seemingly every year for the last four years (though I can’t confirm that he did this year, but I’m just going off history). And while Eckersley might be the biggest homer on a network that also boasts Tom Caron and Jim Rice, it made sense to pick Lester in 2009, 2010 and even 2011. But after last season, he shouldn’t be a choice anymore. If Eck picks him in 2013 I think he might want to find a new job.

In spring training, Lester apologized for the chicken and beer in 2011. He has gone on the record several times to hold himself accountable for his 5-8 record and 5.46 ERA. It appears as though he genuinely cares about the winning, and that’s why it makes it even better that his name is being rumored as a potential trade chip. Please Ben Cherington, trade Jon Lester! Please!

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Blogs • Email Exchanges • Yankees

Jul 6, 2012

Good Times Never Seemed So Good in Boston

The Yankees are in Boston for a four-game series with the Red Sox and that means it’s time for another email exchange with Mike Hurley.

It feels like it’s been years since the Yankees and Red Sox last played against each other, and it kind of has been. It’s been 76 days since the two teams last met, and that happened to be the day the Yankees erased an eight-run deficit after six innings at Fenway Park.

The Yankees have exactly half of their season left to play, and out of those 81 games, 16 of them will be against the Red Sox. And with so many games left against each other, that means that there are a lot of email exchanges left between Mike Hurley and me. With the Yankees in Boston for a four-game series this weekend I sent Hurley the mandatory Yankees-Red Sox email to let him know my presence in his city this weekend.

Keefe: So we meet again. I figured you were waiting for this email since the Yankees are in town. I can picture you checking your phone every time it vibrates to see if it’s an email for me. Actually your phone probably makes a ringing or beep noise when you get an email because you don’t seem like the type of person that would courteous enough to put it on vibrate.

The Yankees have a five-game lead on the division and a 7 1/2-game lead on the Red Sox (eight in the loss column). Despite going 1-2 against the Rays this week, the Yankees still managed to pick up another game on the Red Sox after they were swept in Oakland.

In December 2010 you were excited for a Red Sox-Phillies World Series in 2011, and instead the 2011 Red Sox, who were supposed to challenge the 1927 Yankees as the greatest team ever, didn’t even make the playoffs. When the team was falling apart in September and anonymous sources were snitching on the players and pitching staff and other anonymous sources (cough, Larry Lucchino, cough, cough) were trying to destroy Terry Francona’s reputation, I never thought things could possibly get better. But then 2012 happened.

John Lackey is out for the year and Carl Crawford hasn’t played a game. Jacoby Ellsbury has been injured for nearly the whole season and Josh Beckett was playing golf on his off day despite being unable to pitch due to injury. David Ortiz called Boston a “sh-thole” and then said he was embarrassed and humiliated about his contract status even though he makes $14.575 million to only hit. Daniel Bard is now blowing saves in Triple-A and the Red Sox’ closer, Andrew Bailey, hasn’t thrown a pitch this season while the guy they traded for him, Josh Reddick, looks like he could have been the right fielder of the future for the Red Sox.

It has been beautiful to watch and a glorious first half for the Red Sox. I guess my only question for you is did I leave anything out?

Hurley: God, you’re such an A-hole. When Ortiz said Boston was becoming a “sh-thole,” he must have known you were coming to visit.

But did you miss anything? Seriously? OK, here we go (I’m going with a bulleted list format here for simplicity’s sake:

– Daniel Nava bats leadoff.

– Darnell McDonald plays 38 games (enjoy the Darnell era in New York!).

– The Red Sox trade FOR Marlon Byrd. Then dump him. Then he gets busted for PEDs.

– Kevin Youkilis gets traded and goes something like 9-for-10 with a home run and a walk-off hit for the White Sox.

– Kelly Shoppach complains to Bobby Valentine about playing time. Kelly Shoppach!

– Adrian Gonzalez is tied for 146th in home runs. He has six in 324 at-bats. Here are people who have hit more home runs than Gonzalez, with their at-bat total in parentheses: Shelley Duncan (154), Brandon Inge (181), Andruw Jones (113), Todd Frazier (168), Justin Maxwell (121), Jonny Gomes (142), Will Middlebrooks (171), Mitch Moreland (158), Brandon Moss (78!), Scott Hairston (173), Cody Ross (189), Allen Craig (160).

– Nick Punto plays 46 games, hits .180.

– Scott Podsednik becomes a stabilizing force in the outfield. Seriously. Then he gets hurt and goes on the DL.

– Jon Lester goes 5-5 with a 4.33 ERA. His career numbers: 81-39, 3.61 ERA.

– Sox go 2-5 on a road trip to face juggernauts in Seattle and Oakland.

Other than that, it’s been a pretty good season. How are the Yankees doing?

Keefe: The Yankees? They’re doing good enough that if they split this weekend at Fenway, they will still be eight games ahead of the Red Sox in the loss column.

I’m mad at myself for forgetting so many important negative things about the Red Sox. I pride myself in trying to be the go-to guy for negative Red Sox storylines and I forgot so many, so I would like to apologize to everyone for that.

Let’s take a deeper look at David Ortiz’s comments to USA Today though since you wrote and tweeted heavily about them on Thursday and since it’s a perfect Red Sox off-day story in Boston for the media to feast on a day before the Yankees arrive at Fenway. Seriously, can you think of better timing for this story to take over? I can’t.

Here is what David Ortiz said to USA Today about his contract.

“It was humiliating. There’s no reason a guy like me should go through that. All I was looking for was two years, at the same salary ($12.5 million). They ended up giving me $3 million more than that (actually $2.025 million), and look at my numbers this year. Tell me if they wouldn’t have been better off. And yet they don’t hesitate to sign other guys. It was embarrassing.”

“If you go crazy and give contracts to whoever comes along despite not knowing how they’re going to do, then you don’t give me my due consideration, even though I do my thing every year, [expletive] that. I’m going to be open to anything. My mentality is not going to be, ‘I like it here.’ It’s going to be, ‘Bring it to the table, and we’ll see what happens.’”

David Ortiz is making $14.575 million this season, and in case anyone forgot, he doesn’t play in the field. That means he makes $89,969.14 per game and $39,931.51 per day over a calendar year. I’m not sure what’s so humiliating about that.

Apparently Ortiz can predict the future by saying the team would be better off by giving him a two-year deal since he knows that he will have the same production next year. But the Red Sox offered him two years and $20 million and he turned it down and went to arbitration instead and settled on this deal with the Red Sox, according to a Ben Cherington email to USA Today.

This story will likely lead to the media asking Ortiz if he would play for the Yankees because people love stories like that (especially with the Yankees in Boston) even if the Yankees aren’t about to lock up their DH spot to an aging player when they need that spot for their already aging players. And while I don’t think Ortiz has any chance of playing in the Bronx, I would like to see him go somewhere other than Boston, so he can find out if there are any other “s-hit holes” that have MLB teams.

Hurley: I generally look at these little tirades as cutesy little David moments, the times when he goes absolutely nuts for no real, rational reason and it drives him to hit 35 homers and drive in 100 runs and nobody ends up really remembering. But this one, for whatever reason, really pissed me off.

It’s probably because it’s the second time in two weeks he’s gone out of his way to selfishly complain about himself and his contract. Two weeks ago, he said he wasn’t having much fun this year. Poor baby! He’s only making $23,737 for every plate appearance, meaning in one night he earns enough to pay off the college loans that will take you 40 years to pay off, but the guy is not having fun! I just feel bad for him!

And now he’s mad that the team didn’t give him a two-year deal for $26 million? Let’s see … exactly who was it that forced Ortiz to agree to arbitration? Oh it was his agent, who probably told Ortiz that he’d get nothing better on the free-agent market. And who signed his name on the bottom of a one-year contract that gave him a $2 million raise at the age of 36? That was Ortiz.

If he wasn’t happy about any of it, he could have rejected arbitration and become a free agent, or he could have gone into the arbitration hearing and awaited the ruling. Chances are he wouldn’t have gotten a $2 million raise, and as a result, he’ll now make more money in 2012 and 2013 than he initially wanted, and this upsets him greatly.

If he wants to talk disrespect, maybe he should call future Hall of Famer Vladimir Guerrero. The guy hit 29 homers with 115 RBIs when he was 35 years old (Ortiz hit 29 homers with 96 RBIs at the same age). What’d that get Vlad? A one-year deal with the Orioles for $7.6 million. Ortiz gets nearly twice that, and he’s upset.

He does have a point that the team wastes billions in bad contracts like J.D. Drew, Carl Crawford, John Lackey, etc. But whining about it like he deserves better, after he’s made just shy of $100 million since 2003, is ridiculous. He should be embarrassed and humiliated not for the way the Sox treated him but instead because he’s acting like such a spoiled baby.

Keefe: Whenever you have Red Sox fans saying that they are pissed at Ortiz you know things are going well. Now if only we can get you to write an entire email bashing Dave Roberts I will feel like I have won the war and I will no longer need to talk to you.

Getting up to Boston early in the week for the series has allowed me to catch Felger and Mazz on Comcast SportsNet New England and it has been filled with caller after caller saying that they are Red Sox fans since (insert some year from many decades ago) and they actually root for the Red Sox to lose. They hate the players on the team and they hate Bobby Valentine and they hate that the players are losers who whine all the time. This has all made me feel the type of joy that I have heard people only feel after the birth of one of their children.

The problem is winning cures everything. And while I would like to think that people in Boston are as miserable and pessimistic about their baseball team as they were pre-2004, which was the last strike-shortened season in which where there weren’t any playoffs or World Series, I know that if the Red Sox go on a run and start stringing together wins rather than losses against teams like the Mariners and A’s, Bostonians will be singing a different tune. It won’t matter to them that David Ortiz makes the money he does and participates in each game for only a matter of minutes each night or that Josh Beckett has no respect for the fans or the city and will do whatever the eff Josh Beckett wants to do because Theo Epstein handed him a ridiculous contract extension.

I would like to think that the division isn’t in play for the Red Sox, but I’m not stupid enough to say that, let alone in writing, and have it come back to bit me. But if the Red Sox can stay afloat they will be in play for that one-game playoff that we both love. And if they are in play for that will you change your feelings about the team and the new wild-card format?

Hurley: No. The new wild-card format is an atrocity of incredible proportions. It takes a 162-game season’s worth of effort and flushes it down the toilet in three hours. And you know what? If an underachieving team like the Red Sox sleepwalks through the whole season and ends up winning that one-game playoff against a team with five or six more wins, then my rage will only be tripled. That’s not what a 162-game season is for, and that’s not right.

But yeah, despite all the issues we’ve already talked about, the Sox remain a good weekend away from jumping into that wild-card spot (which is absurd). And they’re definitely good enough to do it, provided the starting pitching can become even halfway decent and Ellsbury can return at even 80 percent of what he was last year.

But the division? No way. I know Ken Rosenthal said if they get a starting pitcher and dump Kevin Youkilis and just “be patient” then they’d be able to win the division, but that’s really nuts. If it were just the Red Sox and Yankees that were competitive teams, maybe, but Tampa is there, and Baltimore and Toronto really aren’t bad. It’s going to be impossible for the Red Sox to leapfrog everyone, especially when they go 1-5 against Oakland.

And Dave Roberts is a saint. Watch your mouth.

Keefe: Let’s talk about what happened to Kevin Youkilis. If the Red Sox win one more game last September then they get to the one-game playoff against the Rays. If they win two more games they make the playoffs. If they do either of those things Terry Francona is still the manager and I think Kevin Youkilis is still the third baseman.

But like I once told you, the “if” game is for losers like Patriots fans who say, “If Wes Welker and Tom Brady connect then the Giants lose the Super Bowl” or “If Rob Gronkowski’s ankle is 100 percent then the Giants lose the Super Bowl.” We’ll keep the “ifs” for losers like Patriots fans. Thankfully neither of us are Patriots fans. (And there is my Giants Super Bowl reference that you say I always have to make in these emails.)

When Youkilis was removed for a pinch runner, Bobby Valentine stood in the dugout clapping and was motioning for the other guys on the team to join him on the top step. There was Adrian Gonzalez clapping for Youkilis as he gave his farewell to Fenway Park. One of the faces of the franchise and the change of culture to the Red Sox over the last eight years was leaving the game and the park and the team while the new faces of the team that has ruined everything Youkilis helped build watched him exit. I feel like a high school freshman English teacher getting all sappy about symbolism.

I understand playing time for Will Middlebrooks became a necessity and along with the finances of the situation it made sense for Youkilis to get moved, but the whole thing and the way it happened just has a stink to it. (Don’t get me wrong, I like the stink it has to it.) You knew that with a change of scenery the guy was going to perform again where he didn’t have to deal with Bobby Valentine’s BS and limited action. I have always hated Youkilis and still do, but I have always respected him and always wanted him on my team. I’m just glad the Red Sox decided differently.

Hurley: I thought the sendoff from the fans was an incredible moment. I’m as cold-hearted as it gets. Some people (believe it or not) even think I’m a real A-hole. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the emotion of that one. Even a cynical bastard like me couldn’t pick it apart, because really, Youkilis deserved that kind of thank you from the fans, and it’s very rare that athletes have the chance to get it like that.

But watching Bob Valentine grandstand on the top step like he was convincing his buddy to get out there and take a curtain call? Puke-inducing. Give me a break.

As far as the trade itself goes, they got next to nothing for him and had to pay most of his salary, which is what I expected. Teams knew the Sox were desperate to get rid of him, so they held all the leverage. It definitely won’t go in the Ben Cherington Hall of Fame, but he didn’t have too much to work with here. I do think Middlebrooks is ready to play every day (if his hammy heals) and I thought the Sox were playing with fire every single time they put Adrian Gonzalez in right field. He’s so slow, I’m pretty sure you could run faster than him on a Friday night at 2:30 a.m. And I’ve seen you on Friday nights at 2:30 a.m.

And frankly, I’m glad to see him do well with Chicago. He was a bit of a gruff person who didn’t always go out of his way to make himself seem like the nicest guy in the world, but he played the game hard and he (sorry, cliché time) played it the right way. He was the definition of a guy who never takes a second on the field for granted, and he was willing to play any position the manager asked. It’s too bad his Red Sox career ended unceremoniously, and it’s awful that Bob V gets to stick around while a World Series winner gets shipped to Chicago, but that’s how it works.

Keefe: Well, Youkilis did hit a walk-off single on Wednesday and then added a solo shot on Thursday that ended up being the game-winner. So at least you can say he was a homegrown player!

It wouldn’t be right if we didn’t dedicate one part of this email to the man known as Bobby Valentine (or Bob Valentine to you.)

He has a two-year deal. His team is currently tied for last place in the division. If the Yankees do what they are capable of doing this weekend at Fenway then the city of Boston will have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday with nothing to talk about other than what is wrong with the Red Sox and who should go and what needs to be done to fix the team. If Ray Allen re-signs with the Celtics and doesn’t do something crazy like sign with the Heat then they will really have nothing to talk about. (Unless Tim Thomas decides to join Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in the election process.) Not having CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte sucks, but not having them for this series to step on the Red Sox’ throat hurts even more.

So what are we to make of Bobby Valentine’s first semester as Red Sox manager? I want you to file it under “colossal failure” but I don’t think even you will do that since it’s not like he was given the ideal pieces to win. But this team with this payroll already got the most revered manager in the franchise’s history fired, so what’s stopping them from getting the ringleader of the circus booted?

Hurley: Bob V, as much as I’m not a fan, hasn’t been all that bad. He had a big adjustment period in April, when he was way too slow to pull guys out of games and seemed truly frightened to argue with umpires. Maybe in Japan you’re not allowed to argue, but here you’re technically not either, so I’m not sure he has an excuse. Either way, I thought he was awful in April and cost them a couple of wins.

Since then though, he’s kind of hit a groove. He played Middlebrooks, and that worked out in the form of 10 homers. He really worked the bullpen well, to the point where they were best in the league for a long stretch of the season, using guys like Scott Atchison and Matt Albers (in real life!). He hasn’t been afraid to “ride the hot hand,” and it’s worked out with people like Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who’s finally playing to his potential, and Daniel Nava, who was somehow playing like a real life major league outfielder for a while.

But like you said earlier with winning solving everything, losing can blow everything up. You can bet a last place finish will spell the premature end for Bob Valentine (for those not in the know, I refuse to refer to a man in his 60s as “Bobby”), and then we can have another four month-long managerial search to follow! Go Red Sox!

Keefe: Four games this weekend including a doubleheader on Saturday and pitching matchups of Hiroki Kuroda-Josh Beckett, Phil Hughes-Franklin Morales, Freddy Garcia-Felix Doubront and Ivan Nova-Jon Lester. I thought we might see some crazy lopsided matchups, but they actually ended up being about as good as can be without CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte. Still these two teams leave the over/under of hours of baseball played this weekend at 18 and the total runs at 44. I’m taking the over on both, you?

And as much as I would like to see the Yankees go into Boston and sweep the four-game series the way they did at the Stadium in August 2009 and similar to the five-game sweep at Fenway in 2006, the Yankees really just need to split this weekend to prevent the Red Sox from gaining any ground and from ripping four more games off the schedule.

Hopefully when I talk to you on Monday you are avoiding me because the Red Sox are double-digit games back and you will be counting down the days until the Patriots’ Week 1 game.

Hurley: I can guarantee that no matter what happens, no matter how many hours of baseball is played, no matter how many runs are scored and no matter which team wins the series, I will be avoiding you on Monday. Enjoy the weekend, pal.

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