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2011 Feeling Like 2007 For Giants

Are the Giants the team that lost to Washington (twice), Seattle and Philadelphia? Or are they the team that’s currently the hottest in the league, getting healthy and peaking at the right time? Let’s figure it out with some help from Coach Eric Taylor.

Last Sunday was easy. Too easy. That isn’t the way Giants games are supposed to be, let alone playoff games. Or maybe they are supposed to be like that? You think they would be like that given their roster and its talent, and the coaching staff and its experience. But at this point I don’t know who the Giants are. I don’t think anyone really knows and that’s why this game on Sunday is so intriguing.

Are the Giants the team that lost to Rex Grossman (twice!), Charvaris Whiteson, Alex Smith (this one is a little more acceptable now) and Vince Young? Or are they the team that’s currently the hottest in the league, getting healthy and peaking at the right time?

This weekend and this game feels eerily similar to the third weekend in January in 2008, even if that game was for so much more than this one is. The difference between playing for a trip to go to the Super Bowl and a trip to play another game in either San Francisco (please) or New Orleans (please, no) is enormous. But I think this game has the feel of that Jan. 20, 2008 game because if the Giants can beat the 15-1, defending-champion Packers, and if they can win their fourth straight, then they can prove that they can beat anyone. (Except for maybe the Saints in the Superdome, but we’ll cross that bridge if and when we get to it.)

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think this is 2007, but I’m not certain that it’s not either. And how can anyone definitively say it isn’t? No one thought 2007 was 2007 when it was happening. You don’t see those types of things happening and you can’t predict that they will while they are. All you can do is sit back and let them unfold and reflect on them later. All you can do is hope that 2011 is 2007.

The Giants are playing their biggest game since Super Bowl XLII on Sunday. I don’t know what Tom Coughlin will tell his team, and I don’t know what I would tell them if I were in his position. I don’t think you need to tell this Giants team anything at this point or to remind them of what’s at stake. But if I had to, maybe I would steal a Coach Eric Taylor quote from Friday Night Lights in hopes that no one on the team watched the show or remembers lines from it. Actually, that’s exactly what I would do. There has never been a better fictitious leader or motivator than Coach Taylor (I still don’t want to believe that Kyle Chandler isn’t a high school football in Texas), so let’s dip into his long list of perfect quotes to look at this Giants-Packers playoff game and what it means.

“What the hell? You want a hug or something? Get out of here.”

This just seems like something Tom Coughlin would say.

“6 a.m. sharp means a quarter to six.”

Again, just something Tom Coughlin would say. I think he really has said this. OK, let’s get serious.

“A few will never give up on you. When you go back out on the field, those are the people I want in your minds. Those are the people I want in your hearts.”

Nearly everyone gave up on the season with five minutes and 41 seconds left in Dallas. I had started to let the end-of-season shock take over, but I kept the TV on the game for that one-in-a-million Lloyd Christmas/Mary Swanson chance that maybe, just maybe the Giants could somehow pull out the kind of dagger that they have been handed so many times in the nearly four seasons since XLII.

Last week I said

This season had everything Giants fans have come to expect from their team, and why I constantly refer to Matt Damon’s character Mike McDermott’s explanation of No-Limit ‘Hold Em in Rounders as the perfect description of what Giants fans endure.

“There’s no other game in which fortunes can change so much from hand to hand. A brilliant player can get a strong hand cracked, go on tilt … and lose his mind along with every single chip in front of him … Some people, pros even, won’t play No-Limit. They can’t handle the swings.”

You have to be a certain type of sports fan to deal with the Giants and the way they play differently each Sunday as if the previous Sunday never happened. I’m not saying you have to be insane or our of your mind the way you have to be to attach your life to the Jets, but you can’t help which team you are raised as a fan of.

“Every man at some point in his life is going to lose a battle. He is going to fight, and he is going to lose. But what makes him a man is at the midst of that battle, he does not lose himself. This game is not over, this battle is not over.”

The Giants might lose on Sunday. Las Vegas is banking on the idea that they will lose. They are 7.5-point underdogs (opened at 9) and are 3-to-1 to win the game. The most important thing about this game is that the Giants can’t lose confidence or stray away from their game plan because of what the Packers can do. The Packers are going to score. They might score in bunches. They might receive the opening kickoff and march down the field and put up seven in a few minutes. I’m prepared for them to do so. The Giants have to understand that the shutout they pitched last weekend against the Falcons isn’t going to happen this weekend. They need to withstand the Packers’ inevitable scoring and pressure and make sure that they can match the Packers’ offense punch for punch and contain the fire rather than pour gasoline on it like Rafael Soriano and Boone Logan would do for an opposing rally.

There isn’t that much of a difference between the two offenses. They boast two of the top tier quarterbacks and the two best receiving corps in the league. But the key for the Giants is to not get off to a slow start. If you’re down two or three possessions in Green Bay, you might as well catch the early flight home.

This is how the Giants opened their game against the Falcons: Punt. Punt. Punt. Safety.

They were able to get away with it because the Falcons were worse, and the Giants defense was dominant. But you’re not going to get away with opening the game in Green Bay with zero offense, a series of punts and giving away points.

(Also, Tom Coughlin if you’re reading this and if you have the chance: DEFER! TAKE THE BALL IN THE SECOND HALF!)

“We’re not playing this game in the stands, understand? Forget about that crap. This game happens on the field.”

The Lambeau crowd is going to be insane on Sunday (as it always is). They have the best team in football playing at home and trying to protect the Lombardi Trophy. And with Ryan Braun’s bizarre failed PED test, the fact that Prince Fielder won’t be playing in Milwaukee again unless his team has the Brewers on the schedule and the fact that the Bucks are still the Bucks, the Packers are Wisconsin. Like my friend Tim, a Packers fan, told me this week, a loss to the Giants will be “high on the devastation” scale.

Very few people are giving the Giants a chance that aren’t form the tri-state area, and rightfully so. The Giants are the 9-7 team and the No. 6 seed. The Packers were the best team in the league all season and have lost ONCE since Nov. 28, 2010 with Aaron Rodgers as their starting quarterback. But I’m glad that the Giants’ recent play isn’t changing the minds of many people. We don’t need the majority of people believing in the Giants and pumping their tires like Roberto Luongo would do for Tim Thomas.

Like I have said a million times, the Giants don’t perform well with expectations. As long as they can fly under the radar and go about their business without many people taking significant notice or hyping them to win, they are fine. The second they are told that they’re good, it all changes.

“Right here, right now, god has placed you to do what you do best. Go all the way.”

It’s crazy to think of what had to happen for the Giants to get to where they are and to still be playing. If Miles Austin doesn’t lose the ball in the Cowboys Stadium lights or if Tony Romo doesn’t just overthrow him (or whatever happened on that play), the Giants aren’t playing this weekend. If Tom Coughlin doesn’t call timeout to ice Dan Bailey and then Jason Pierre-Paul doesn’t block the field goal, the Giants and Cowboys go to overtime and the Giants possibly lose. Go back even further and think about the drive against the Patriots or the Victor Cruz fumble against the Cardinals or the comeback against the Dolphins or the Corey Webster interception against the Bills.

It took an insane series of events over 17 weeks for the Giants to finish at 9-7 and win the division and then win a home playoff game against the Falcons. Things like this happen for teams that go on improbable runs. It happened for the Packers last year. If the Giants don’t blow a 21-point lead in the final 7:18 and DeSean Jackson doesn’t return that punt as time expires, the Packers are eliminated from the playoffs, and there’s no Super Bowl and Aaron Rodgers is a great quarterback with no playoff wins, but not in the same conversation as Tom Brady and Peyton Manning and Drew Brees.

“Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”

I said last Friday that “the Giants are playing with house money from here on out” and they are. I don’t expect them to win on Sunday, but that’s only because I know how they perform with expectations and I’m trying to keep things quiet over here.

The Giants weren’t supposed to have a winning record or win their division. They weren’t supposed to have a home playoff game. They weren’t supposed to win that home playoff game against the more “consistent” Falcons. They weren’t supposed to be playing the Packers in the second round of the playoffs for a chance to extend the season another week, and no one would thought they would be with five minutes and 41 seconds left in Dallas. But here they are. Still alive and still playing. And now just one more January win in Green Bay from making 2011 feel even more like 2007.

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NFL Divisional Round Picks

Last Sunday feels like it was three years ago. And this Saturday feels like it’s four years from now. That’s how you know it’s the NFL playoffs. The five days between playoff games for the

Last Sunday feels like it was three years ago. And this Saturday feels like it’s four years from now. That’s how you know it’s the NFL playoffs.

The five days between playoff games for the first two rounds feel like forever. And there’s only so much hype and so many predictions and guarantees you can read about to fill the void left by five days without football. Thankfully for the 2011 playoffs we have the New York Jets.

Even though the Jets won’t play a game that counts for another 33 weeks, Rex Ryan’s team of mixed personalities is the talk of the town after yet another Super Bowl “guarantee” ended up being exactly what Chris Farley described it as when he made his first sale in Tommy Boy. And despite the New York Football Giants (the Kings of the City) playing in the divisional round this weekend against the defending champions (the Kings of the NFL), the focal point in New York has been on the Jets’ collapse and the aftermath from it.

In the last week we have found out that the Jets’ captain quit on the team, that it will be hard for anyone to believe anything Mike Tannenbaum says again and most recently that anonymous players on the Jets don’t want Mark Sanchez to be the starting quarterback in 2012. It’s too bad that those who like the Jets and those who like the Red Sox are from cities that hate each because they have so much in common and could be the best of friends. How much does the Jets’ January feel like the Red Sox’ September? A lot. And how much do I love every minute of it? A lot.

But let’s not forget that there is actual football to still be played. There’s real games where teams wear jerseys and play for championships, and don’t just send out press releases late at night to fire their offensive coordinator. And even though it’s fun to watch Jerry Jones try to come up with an apology he hasn’t used before for his Cowboys’ performance or to watch Rex Ryan and Mr. T (Hey, Mr. T is one smart S.O.B. for signing Santonio Holmes!) fumble for the right words to try and make any sort of a positive out of an 8-8 season, the focus should be around teams with games left on their schedule.

As for my picks, I was one win away from opening the playoffs with a perfect record in the wild-card week, but I put my faith in Andy Dalton and the Cincinnati Bengals. How did I let myself do this? I have a feeling I will be asking myself the same question next week when you find out who I picked in the 49ers-Saints game.

Divisional round … let’s go!

(Home team in caps)

SAN FRANCISCO +3.5 over New Orleans
The Saints are two very different teams. You have the New Orleans Saints and you have the Road Saints. The New Orleans Saints are undefeated in the regular season and the playoffs at 9-0 with an average of 41.6 points for and 19.0 points against. The Road Saints are 5-3 with an average of 27.3 points for and 24.5 points against (and losses to Tampa Bay and St. Louis).

This game is the trickiest of them all because most people are thinking about the matchup of Alex Smith vs. Drew Brees, which is about as equal of a matchup as Boone Logan vs. Josh Hamilton. Alex Smith might be the worst quarterback remaining in the field (a field that includes Joe Flacco and T.J. Yates) while Drew Brees might be the best quarterback remaining in the field (depending on who you ask and if the person you’re asking is from Green Bay or New England).

But the Road Saints in San Francisco where the field is slow and outdoors changes everything.

Denver +13.5 over NEW ENGLAND
If you have had the luxury of listening to Boston sports radio or reading anything to come out of Boston this week, then you have been able to feel the confidence oozing from Back Bay to Beacon Hill. New England sports fan believe there’s absolutely no chance that they will lose to the Broncos on Saturday night. No chance at all.

I remember one year ago this weekend when Patriots fans laughed at facing the Jets in the divisional round. My friend, Mike Hurley from NESN.com (I guess he’s a “friend”), wrote, “The Jets don’t have a chance.” I’m just glad things like this don’t disappear on the Internet.

There was also this time two years ago when the Patriots hosted the Ravens in the wild-card round and were expected to win. Then Tom Brady threw three picks (OK, there were some tip jobs) and lost a fumble and the Ravens scored 20 points off turnovers and sent Tom Brady home.

Patriots fans currently have “fake” confidence. I know what it feels like. I had it during the ALDS in 2005, 2006 and 2007, when the Yankees bowed out of the postseason after five games once and four games twice. I didn’t regain my confidence in the Yankees until they advanced to the ALCS in 2009, and prior to that it seemed like their most recent championship was the one in 1978 rather than the one in 2000.

And if the Patriots lose on Saturday night, their last three playoff losses will all have come in their first game of the postseason, at home and against Joe Flacco, Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow. I’m not really sure how you sleep after that. It’s like losing an elimination game to Jeremy Bonderman or Paul Byrd. But trust me, eventually you get over it.

The Patriots have a chance to lose on Saturday. The same way they had a chance to lose to the Giants in Super Bowl XLII and the Ravens in the 2009 playoffs and the Jets (even though no one gave them a chance to lose).

The Last Night of the Patriots Dynasty started with Champ Bailey intercepting Tom Brady in the end zone in Denver on Jan. 14, 2006. Exactly six years later, the Patriots and Broncos meet again. If we’re lucky, Tim Tebow will be playing in the AFC Championship Game a week from Sunday and Tom Brady will be talking about the latest version of “the worst loss of his career.”

BALTIMORE -7.5 over Houston
This game is the only game in which I don’t think the underdog has a chance to win even though most would say it’s probably the best chance for an underdog to win. But I should know better than to say that a team doesn’t have a chance to win.

This game is all about running offenses and running defenses because Joe Flacco and T.J. Yates won’t be allowed to ruin the game the way you wouldn’t let you five-year-old mow the lawn. Sure, you might let them ride on the sit-down mower with you and pretend like they are steering and controlling the machine, but in reality you’re doing all the work to avoid a disaster.

I was going to take the Ravens even before I remembered that the Texans lost in Baltimore in Week 6 by 15 points (29-14), and that was with Matt Schaub! Now they return to Baltimore with T.J. Yates. Doesn’t 7.5 points feel like not enough?

New York Giants +7.5 over GREEN BAY
I don’t like the hype around the Giants right now. I don’t like it one bit. It’s growing with each day leading up to Sunday, and everyone I have talked with in the city feels confident about the Giants. And it doesn’t help that Jason Pierre-Paul is saying things like, “We’re going to win. One hundred percent we’re going to win … because we’re the best.”

I’m aware that the Giants are healthy for the first time, riding a three-game winning streak and getting hot and peaking at the right moment just like they did in the 2007 playoffs. I’m also aware that in a “Hey, We Can Get Our Backs Off From Up Against The Wall” game, the Giants were embarrassed at home by the Redskins. And that was just four weeks ago.

I don’t expect the Giants to win on Sunday (more on this tomorrow on WFAN.com with some help from Friday Night Lights). I want them to, but I don’t know if they can or will. I know that the Giants are the last team the Packers wanted to face in their first postseason, but I don’t know if it will matter. I just wanted the Giants to have a chance to get to this game; to extend the season as long as possible and to finally realize their potential and play to their ability; to get back to Green Bay like the third Sunday of January in 2008 and once again shock the world. So far they have given us most of that these last three weeks. Now, about the “shock the world” part…

Last Week: 3-1
Regular Season: 118-129-12

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NFL Wild-Card Week Picks

The Giants are playing with house money as they host the Falcons this weekend, and it’s time to salvage my picks season by picking the wild-card week games.

I wanted to do my own “Shiva Blast” after the Giants finished off the Cowboys and clinched a playoff berth on Sunday night. But since I don’t have anything as catchy as “Shivakamini Somakandarkram,” I just went with a “Woooooooooooo!” and a combination of a Joba Chamberlain 360-fist pump mixed with a Francisco Cervelli “Mariano just closed out the game” standing fist pump mixed with Artem Anisimov’s “sniper” celebration. Some people would call it a “seizure.” I call it “the Giants making the playoffs for the first time in three years.”

This Giants season wasn’t easy. Actually, it was insanely difficult. To think that 17 weeks ago when the Giants lost to Rex Grossman and the Redskins (a children’s book title, perhaps?) I assumed the season was over. The Giants were too banged up to recover from a preseason that took down their defense, and the opening week loss verified it. But then the Giants bounced back with six wins in their next seven games (their lone loss to Charvaris Whiteson). Then they entered The Gauntlet and beat Tom Brady, only to lose to Alex Smith and Vince Young before getting blown out by Drew Brees and daggered by Aaron Rodgers.

This season had everything Giants fans have come to expect from their team, and why I constantly refer to Matt Damon’s character Mike McDermott’s explanation of No-Limit ‘Hold Em in Rounders as the perfect description of what Giants fans endure.

“There’s no other game in which fortunes can change so much from hand to hand. A brilliant player can get a strong hand cracked, go on tilt … and lose his mind along with every single chip in front of him … Some people, pros even, won’t play No-Limit. They can’t handle the swings.”

2011 was a 17-week roller-coaster ride filled with lots of highs, plenty of lows, daggers for and against, questionable playcalling and a lot of heartache. If every cigarette supposedly takes 11 minutes off a person’s life, then the 2011 Giants season was enough to force people to stock up on bottled waters and canned foods and batteries in anticipation of the end of the world. But the season ended gloriously with the Giants directly eliminating the Cowboys and Jets and indirectly eliminating the Eagles. So, despite an inconsistent and lackluster 9-7 season and the Giants becoming the first team to ever win the NFC East with only nine wins, I can still send my Jets friends emails with “J! E! T! S!” as the subject and “JETS! JETS! JETS!” as the body until at least Sunday. And aside from having your teams win championships, isn’t that what sports are all about?

The Giants are playing with house money from here on out and I believe Tom Coughlin is too. Some people believe he has to win a playoff game to return next season (he is under contract for next season), but I think he cemented his return when he disarmed the second-half collapse bomb with one second left on the timer by clinching a playoff berth with three wins in the final four games.

Does “playing with house money,” mean I won’t be upset if the Giants lose on Sunday at home to the Falcons? Of course not. I will be the first one to tell Kevin Gilbride to “Get the eff out!” Ari Gold style or ask why Aaron Ross isn’t playing in an arena league or wonder if Deon Grant is the Creed Bratton of the Giants. It just means I got my wish. That wish was when I told Ralph Vacchiano of the New York Daily News in our season preview the following.

I will take any playoff berth in any possible way. Give me the No. 6 seed and a path to the Super Bowl built around road games. I don’t care. I just want to watch the playoffs with the Giants in it, and I’m not sure if I can emotionally and physically take another collapse that forces the “Should Tom Coughlin be fired?” discussion for weeks after the season.

So, I really can’t complain no matter what happens on Sunday. But if things start to go south, I will definitely be complaining.

As for my picks, let’s say we just forget about this season the way I forgot about the 2004 and the 2008 MLB seasons. OK? OK, good.

My regular season picks were a disaster, but you don’t need me to tell you that if you read my picks for 17 weeks (or if you scrolled to the bottom of this page to see my record). So, I’m not going to tell you that because I’m not Mike Tannenbaum who told Mike Francesa on Wednesday that he “will be the first one to tell you that the Jets didn’t get the job done.” Gee, thanks, Mr. T! I’m glad you will be the first to tell Jets fans what they watched happened. Until you told Francesa that, all Jets fans probably thought their team had a playoff game this weekend. So, thanks for the heads-up!

Luckily, we have four weeks of playoff football and 11 games for me to salvage the season and finish strong and gain some confidence for the 2012 season. (Eagles fans know what I’m talking about.) If everything goes according to plan, I will be using this space next week to pick a Giants-Packers game. And if nothing goes according to plan, I will be dreading the Broncos or Bengals acting as a red carpet for the Patriots to the AFC Championship.

Wild-Card Week … let’s go!

(Home team in caps)

Cincinnati -3 over HOUSTON
If you’re introducing someone to the NFL and the NFL playoffs for the first time this weekend, this isn’t the game you want to show them. Texans-Bengals? Playoffs? Is this real life?

According to Adam Schefter, Andy Dalton spent Wednesday night by the sink and the toilet, but he is expected to practice today. Do I really want to pick the team led by rookie quarterback that has spent the week leading up to the game hugging the toilet like Sack in Wedding Crashers?

So, do you take your chances with the team that has a rookie quarterback that is good, but might not be at full strength for the game, or do you take your chances with the team that has a rookie quarterback who injured his shoulder in Week 17 and if he doesn’t start, his backup is … wait for it … wait for it … wait for it … keep waiting … Jake Delhomme! Yes, THE Jake Delhomme!

I’ll take my chances with the points.

NEW ORLEANS -10.5 over Detroit
If you think 10.5 points is too many for the playoffs, send me your address and I will send you the game tapes from the Saints’ home games this season. But in the meantime, here are the point totals for the Saints at the Superdome where they were undefeated: 30, 40, 62, 27, 49, 31, 45, and 45. (Wait, they only scored 27 points in a home a game? What a bunch of losers!) And here are their win differentials at home: 17, 7, 55, 11, 25, 14, 29, and 28. So, one time all season they didn’t cover a 10.5-point spread at home and that was in Week 3 against the then-undefeated Matt Schaub Texans.

I think that the Saints are the best team in football … when they play at home, which is obvious. The only way they don’t’ go to the Super Bowl is if they have to go to Lambeau Field during the postseason because the Saints are nowhere near the team on the road that they are in New Orleans.

(Also, if the Giants end up playing the Saints in the NFC Championship Game (BIG “if” here), they might as well not even make the trip.)

NEW YORK GIANTS -3 over Atlanta
It seems like aside from Falcons fans (I don’t really know any) and Falcons blogs (I checked out a few on Wednesday), no one is really picking the Falcons to win this game. This means the tri-state area should be on high alert for a Giants letdown on Sunday. I’m taking about a code red, emergency broadcast system alert, air-raid siren type of letdown. The last thing the Giants need is people believing in them and the element of hype on their side.

The Giants are fine when they are left alone and forgotten about. That’s why 2007 worked out the way it did. They were the 10-6 team as a No. 6 seed with road games in Tampa Bay, Dallas and Green Bay on their path to the Super Bowl. No one gave them a chance any of those weeks and no one gave them a chance when they made it Arizona. (I will always remember Frank Caliendo being the only member of the FOX pregame show to pick the Giants to win Super Bowl XLII.)

Normally I would be hoping for the Giants to be a lower seed here and playing on the road, but they are playing a sub-par road team in Atlanta at MetLife and if they were any lower seeded, they would be playing on the road in either Atlanta and New Orleans and would be 100 percent be home on Monday for the offseason like the other team in the city.

But really, who did you think I was going to pick in this game?

DENVER +9 over Pittsburgh
For the first time I am getting off the Tim Tebow train. Well, I’m more like rolling out of it while it’s still moving like Steve Carell in Crazy, Stupid, Love., but I’m getting off of it. It’s not because of anything Tim Tebow did or didn’t do. It’s because of the Steelers in the playoffs. But I’m not about to take the Steelers to cover more than a touchdown since that hasn’t really worked out for me too well this year, and Ben Roethlisberger is going to be moving around the pocket like Chien-Ming Wang rounding third base in Houston in 2008.

Because the Giants weren’t in the playoffs last year, I had to resort to picking a team to root for, and instead it became “Who Should I Root Against?” in a column titled “My Super Bowl Dilemma.” That’s right, I wrote a whole column on which teams I didn’t want to win the Super Bowl. This year, I don’t have that problem since the Giants are still alive and the Eagles, Cowboys and Jets are on their fourth day of the offseason. But one team is still alive that I want eliminated as soon as possible. Any guess as to which team that might be? Here’s a hint: in 15 days it will be four year since they last won a playoff game.

I want the Patriots out of the playoffs, but I’m not wishing for them to lose because I’m not about to waste a wish on something that will probably happen without me wishing for it. The best way for this happen though is if the Texans and Steelers both win. That will send the Steelers to New England and the Texans to Baltimore. But if the Bengals win, they automatically go to New England and the Patriots will have their way with either Cincinnati or Denver.

So, because of all this, I will be a Steelers fan on Sunday (to win, but not cover, of course). And if the Bengals lose on Saturday and all we need is a Steelers win to make it so the Patriots have a legitimate opponent in the divisional round, I might go out and buy a Ben Roethlisberger shirt even if I get more dirty looks in the city than John Rocker did in 2000.

Last Week: 8-7-1
Regular Season: 118-129-12

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NFL Wild-Card Week Picks

I wanted to do my own “Shiva Blast” after the Giants finished off the Cowboys and clinched a playoff berth on Sunday night. But since I don’t have anything as catchy as “Shivakamini Somakandarkram,” I

I wanted to do my own “Shiva Blast” after the Giants finished off the Cowboys and clinched a playoff berth on Sunday night. But since I don’t have anything as catchy as “Shivakamini Somakandarkram,” I just went with a “Woooooooooooo!” and a combination of a Joba Chamberlain 360-fist pump mixed with a Francisco Cervelli “Mariano just closed out the game” standing fist pump mixed with Artem Anisimov’s “sniper” celebration. Some people would call it a “seizure.” I call it “the Giants making the playoffs for the first time in three years.”

This Giants season wasn’t easy. Actually, it was insanely difficult. To think that 17 weeks ago when the Giants lost to Rex Grossman and the Redskins (a children’s book title, perhaps?) I assumed the season was over. The Giants were too banged up to recover from a preseason that took down their defense, and the opening week loss verified it. But then the Giants bounced back with six wins in their next seven games (their lone loss to Charvaris Whiteson). Then they entered The Gauntlet and beat Tom Brady, only to lose to Alex Smith and Vince Young before getting blown out by Drew Brees and daggered by Aaron Rodgers.

This season had everything Giants fans have come to expect from their team, and why I constantly refer to Matt Damon’s character Mike McDermott’s explanation of No-Limit ‘Hold Em in Rounders as the perfect description of what Giants fans endure.

“There’s no other game in which fortunes can change so much from hand to hand. A brilliant player can get a strong hand cracked, go on tilt … and lose his mind along with every single chip in front of him … Some people, pros even, won’t play No-Limit. They can’t handle the swings.”

2011 was a 17-week roller-coaster ride filled with lots of highs, plenty of lows, daggers for and against, questionable playcalling and a lot of heartache. If every cigarette supposedly takes 11 minutes off a person’s life, then the 2011 Giants season was enough to force people to stock up on bottled waters and canned foods and batteries in anticipation of the end of the world. But the season ended gloriously with the Giants directly eliminating the Cowboys and Jets and indirectly eliminating the Eagles. So, despite an inconsistent and lackluster 9-7 season and the Giants becoming the first team to ever win the NFC East with only nine wins, I can still send my Jets friends emails with “J! E! T! S!” as the subject and “JETS! JETS! JETS!” as the body until at least Sunday. And aside from having your teams win championships, isn’t that what sports are all about?

The Giants are playing with house money from here on out and I believe Tom Coughlin is too. Some people believe he has to win a playoff game to return next season (he is under contract for next season), but I think he cemented his return when he disarmed the second-half collapse bomb with one second left on the timer by clinching a playoff berth with three wins in the final four games.

Does “playing with house money,” mean I won’t be upset if the Giants lose on Sunday at home to the Falcons? Of course not. I will be the first one to tell Kevin Gilbride to “Get the eff out!” Ari Gold style or ask why Aaron Ross isn’t playing in an arena league or wonder if Deon Grant is the Creed Bratton of the Giants. It just means I got my wish. That wish was when I told Ralph Vacchiano of the New York Daily News in our season preview the following.

I will take any playoff berth in any possible way. Give me the No. 6 seed and a path to the Super Bowl built around road games. I don’t care. I just want to watch the playoffs with the Giants in it, and I’m not sure if I can emotionally and physically take another collapse that forces the “Should Tom Coughlin be fired?” discussion for weeks after the season.

So, I really can’t complain no matter what happens on Sunday. But if things start to go south, I will definitely be complaining.

As for my picks, let’s say we just forget about this season the way I forgot about the 2004 and the 2008 MLB seasons. OK? OK, good.

My regular season picks were a disaster, but you don’t need me to tell you that if you read my picks for 17 weeks (or if you scrolled to the bottom of this page to see my record). So, I’m not going to tell you that because I’m not Mike Tannenbaum who told Mike Francesa on Wednesday that he “will be the first one to tell you that the Jets didn’t get the job done.” Gee, thanks, Mr. T! I’m glad you will be the first to tell Jets fans what they watched happened. Until you told Francesa that, all Jets fans probably thought their team had a playoff game this weekend. So, thanks for the heads-up!

Luckily, we have four weeks of playoff football and 11 games for me to salvage the season and finish strong and gain some confidence for the 2012 season. (Eagles fans know what I’m talking about.) If everything goes according to plan, I will be using this space next week to pick a Giants-Packers game. And if nothing goes according to plan, I will be dreading the Broncos or Bengals acting as a red carpet for the Patriots to the AFC Championship.

Wild-Card Week … let’s go!

(Home team in caps)

Cincinnati -3 over HOUSTON
If you’re introducing someone to the NFL and the NFL playoffs for the first time this weekend, this isn’t the game you want to show them. Texans-Bengals? Playoffs? Is this real life?

According to Adam Schefter, Andy Dalton spent Wednesday night by the sink and the toilet, but he is expected to practice today. Do I really want to pick the team led by rookie quarterback that has spent the week leading up to the game hugging the toilet like Sack in Wedding Crashers?

So, do you take your chances with the team that has a rookie quarterback that is good, but might not be at full strength for the game, or do you take your chances with the team that has a rookie quarterback who injured his shoulder in Week 17 and if he doesn’t start, his backup is … wait for it … wait for it … wait for it … keep waiting … Jake Delhomme! Yes, THE Jake Delhomme!

I’ll take my chances with the points.

NEW ORLEANS -10.5 over Detroit
If you think 10.5 points is too many for the playoffs, send me your address and I will send you the game tapes from the Saints’ home games this season. But in the meantime, here are the point totals for the Saints at the Superdome where they were undefeated: 30, 40, 62, 27, 49, 31, 45, and 45. (Wait, they only scored 27 points in a home a game? What a bunch of losers!) And here are their win differentials at home: 17, 7, 55, 11, 25, 14, 29, and 28. So, one time all season they didn’t cover a 10.5-point spread at home and that was in Week 3 against the then-undefeated Matt Schaub Texans.

I think that the Saints are the best team in football … when they play at home, which is obvious. The only way they don’t’ go to the Super Bowl is if they have to go to Lambeau Field during the postseason because the Saints are nowhere near the team on the road that they are in New Orleans.

(Also, if the Giants end up playing the Saints in the NFC Championship Game (BIG “if” here), they might as well not even make the trip.)

NEW YORK GIANTS -3 over Atlanta
It seems like aside from Falcons fans (I don’t really know any) and Falcons blogs (I checked out a few on Wednesday), no one is really picking the Falcons to win this game. This means the tri-state area should be on high alert for a Giants letdown on Sunday. I’m taking about a code red, emergency broadcast system alert, air-raid siren type of letdown. The last thing the Giants need is people believing in them and the element of hype on their side.

The Giants are fine when they are left alone and forgotten about. That’s why 2007 worked out the way it did. They were the 10-6 team as a No. 6 seed with road games in Tampa Bay, Dallas and Green Bay on their path to the Super Bowl. No one gave them a chance any of those weeks and no one gave them a chance when they made it Arizona. (I will always remember Frank Caliendo being the only member of the FOX pregame show to pick the Giants to win Super Bowl XLII.)

Normally I would be hoping for the Giants to be a lower seed here and playing on the road, but they are playing a sub-par road team in Atlanta at MetLife and if they were any lower seeded, they would be playing on the road in either Atlanta and New Orleans and would be 100 percent be home on Monday for the offseason like the other team in the city.

But really, who did you think I was going to pick in this game?

DENVER +9 over Pittsburgh
For the first time I am getting off the Tim Tebow train. Well, I’m more like rolling out of it while it’s still moving like Steve Carell in Crazy, Stupid, Love., but I’m getting off of it. It’s not because of anything Tim Tebow did or didn’t do. It’s because of the Steelers in the playoffs. But I’m not about to take the Steelers to cover more than a touchdown since that hasn’t really worked out for me too well this year, and Ben Roethlisberger is going to be moving around the pocket like Chien-Ming Wang rounding third base in Houston in 2008.

Because the Giants weren’t in the playoffs last year, I had to resort to picking a team to root for, and instead it became “Who Should I Root Against?” in a column titled “My Super Bowl Dilemma.” That’s right, I wrote a whole column on which teams I didn’t want to win the Super Bowl. This year, I don’t have that problem since the Giants are still alive and the Eagles, Cowboys and Jets are on their fourth day of the offseason. But one team is still alive that I want eliminated as soon as possible. Any guess as to which team that might be? Here’s a hint: in 15 days it will be four year since they last won a playoff game.

I want the Patriots out of the playoffs, but I’m not wishing for them to lose because I’m not about to waste a wish on something that will probably happen without me wishing for it. The best way for this happen though is if the Texans and Steelers both win. That will send the Steelers to New England and the Texans to Baltimore. But if the Bengals win, they automatically go to New England and the Patriots will have their way with either Cincinnati or Denver.

So, because of all this, I will be a Steelers fan on Sunday (to win, but not cover, of course). And if the Bengals lose on Saturday and all we need is a Steelers win to make it so the Patriots have a legitimate opponent in the divisional round, I might go out and buy a Ben Roethlisberger shirt even if I get more dirty looks in the city than John Rocker did in 2000.

Last Week: 8-7-1
Regular Season: 118-129-12

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A Giant Embarrassment

I wasted part of my Sunday watching the Giants, and I should have known better. With the Giants suffering a humiliating loss, I decided to look at some of the postgame comments from the team in an attempt to make sense of the mess at MetLife Stadium.

If you wasted part of your Sunday watching the Giants, I don’t feel sorry for you. I don’t feel sorry for anyone like myself that watched the Giants game because we all should have learned by now. We should have known better than to think that the team that had their season saved in a span of five minutes and 41 seconds of improbable events last Sunday night would do anything other than take their second chance for granted.

I was prepared for the Giants season to be over with 5:41 left last week and the Giants trailing the Cowboys by 12 points. But then they had to come back and win and suck me in and make me believe they could make the playoffs and maybe go on the sort of run we saw from them four years ago. I’m a sucker. No really, I am. I have fallen for this same act year after year and I fell for it again because of last Sunday. When will I lean? Better yet, will I ever learn?

The Redskins had absolutely nothing to play for on Sunday. Absolutely nothing. Other than that the game was on their schedule and that it was their one of their last three chances to add to or improve their season stats and that a win would screw up the Giants’ season, they had no incentive to win on Sunday. But maybe playing for nothing was enough for them.

The Giants had everything to play for. They were given a second life in their season to make the second season and three games in a row at home to win and set up an easy path to the postseason where they would host a playoff game for the first time since 2008 and just the second time since 2005. But maybe playing for everything wasn’t enough for them.

I watched Mean Streets on Friday night and I can’t stop thinking about how the New York Giants are Johnny Boy (Robert DeNiro) from the movie and how the fans are Charlie (Harvey Keitel). Johnny Boy is a screw-up that everyone else knows as a loser and a joke and someone they wouldn’t want to associate with, but somehow Charlie sees the good in him after growing up with him and feels the need to support him and vouch for him and his debts by giving him unlimited chances to turn his life around. But Johnny Boy takes Charlie for granted and never changes his reckless lifestyle.

Like Johnny Boy telling Charlie he will pay off his debts next week and then the week after that and then the week after, the Giants keep promising to be prepared next week and the week after and the week after that. Following the loss to the Redskins they made their excuses to the media and then preached change for their Christmas Eve game against the Jets. The same change they have promised after the other six losses this season. And if they lay an egg against the Jets and the Cowboys lose to the Eagles, they will tell us that the Week 17 game against the Cowboys is the only game that has mattered all along. It won’t end until there isn’t another week for them to prepare for. It won’t end until Tom Coughlin is packing up his desk and office into empty Amazon and Dell cardboard boxes and wondering what he’s going to do in 2012.

I honestly wish the Giants lost on last Sunday night against the Cowboys. I’m serious. It would have made this loss a lot easier knowing that the season were over and would have given me an extra week to accept the idea that the Giants wouldn’t be playing in the postseason for the third straight year and would have allowed me to try and fathom how another year of Eli Manning’s prime has been wasted by this team and this coaching staff.

I don’t understand “optimism” when it comes Giants fans. This team isn’t good. Their 7-7 record says so. Their 1-5 run since beating the Patriots says so. Their -38 point differential says so. Their two losses to Rex Grossman and losses to Charvaris Whiteson, Alex Smith and Vince Young say so. By the end of Sunday’s game I was so depressed that I needed a good laugh and with 4:12 left, Corey Webster provided it when he broke up a pass in the end zone for a would-be touchdown and then celebrated to the fans sitting in the back of the end zone. The Redskins were leading 23-3 at the time. (Granted Webster and Jason Pierre-Paul have been the only two consistently good defensive players this year, but really? Save the celebrations for another time.)

It was the same old song and dance from the Giants after their embarrassing loss to the Redskins that reopened the wound they stitched up last Sunday. Tom Coughlin and his players threw out a lot of clichés and a lot of promises to blow smoke up everyone’s ass that cares about this team and to those that have wasted 15 weeks waiting for some form of consistency.

Let’s look at some of the postgame quotes from the Giants as they search for answers as to how Rex Grossman (you know the guy who lost his job to John Beck this season) beat them twice in the same season.

Chris Canty on blowing an easy opportunity for a win: “We had a tremendous opportunity here against a division opponent and we let it slip through our fingers. We didn’t take advantage of it and we did not play New York Giants football.”

There’s no truth to the rumors that Chris Canty will be hosting a HBO comedy special this offseason. The guy is hilarious, isn’t he? Wait, he was serious when he said, “We did not play New York Giants football?” Is this real life? You didn’t play New York Giants football? Umm, actually that’s exactly what you did. I know you’re semi-new around here, but what happened against the Redskins is what Giants football is. Being humiliated at home and losing to four-win teams and playing .500 football and being undisciplined and unprepared is Giants football.

Antrel Rolle on the frustrating loss: “I have said that we are the better team but they [Washington] beat us twice so clearly they’re the better team at this moment.”

It doesn’t matter what Antrel Rolle says at the end of the day. He can say that Washington sucks or that the Giants will do this or that they will accomplish that, but none of it matters at the end of the day. At the end of the day, does anyone believe anything that Antrel Rolle says anymore at the end of the day? If Rolle told me that Christmas is this Sunday, I wouldn’t believe him at this point.

Last week we had to here about how he was mad at Cris Collinsworth’s analysis of him not covering Dez Bryant. According to Rolle, he was right where he was supposed to be. But then this week, Rolle missed several tackles and many big plays happened on his side of the field. Was he where he was supposed to be on every play against the Redskins? Maybe Collinsworth was on to something?

Rolle has spent most of his time this year guaranteeing stuff like Ray Zalinsky. Does he even know what “guarantee” means? It means, “to promise or assure a particular outcome.” Can we just use guarantees in sports for significant events like playoff games and championships? Antrel Rolle shouldn’t have to guarantee postseason berths. With this team and this talent, that should be a given at the end of the day.

Tom Coughlin on the lack of running plays in the first half: “We planned to do more and have more. The first three plays were three incomplete passes in a row and had we have gotten a first down, you would have had a good mix of run and pass but that didn’t take place. You didn’t see many plays in the first half. The first 15 probably had more passes than runs but not to an excessive extent. It just didn’t work out the way we would have liked it to.”

How can you plan to do more running and not do it? You do realize that you are the head coach and therefore you have the final say, right? And you do realize that your team calls its own offensive plays, right? So, if you plan on running it more, you can. You can run it as many times as you want. You can run it on every play if you want. You can run it on zero plays if you want. What does that answer even mean?

Tom Coughlin on how to improve the pass coverage: “You just keep working at it and keep trying. We keep maneuvering around and changing coverages and trying to get people in the best possible spots. We are trying to understand what the opponent will do to us. That continues.”

I take it Coughlin didn’t fully grasp the “trail and error” method in school. If you try something and it fails, try something else. It doesn’t seem like the defense keeps working at anything other than just playing the same way they have played all season.

Prince Amukamara on how tough it was for the secondary: “The quarterback made plays, the receivers made plays and they completed passes on us.”

Ah, nothing like Prince Amukamara going with the “Bill Belichick” in the postgame. (The “Bill Belichick “is saying “They made more plays than we did.” It’s the ultimate copout.)

I’m glad he noticed that the Redskins completed passes on the Giants since most of those passes were on his side of the field. I remember when everyone was talking about the defense’s struggles earlier in the season, but the consensus was “the secondary will get better when Prince is healthy.” Is it possible that the secondary is worse off with the Giants’ first-round as part of it? I think it’s certainly a question that can be asked. It seems funny now that I included him as part of the devastating injuries when I talked with the Daily News’ Ralph Vacchiano prior to the start of the season.

Brandon Jacobs on the emotion and passion from the Giants: “We didn’t play well. We were disappointed in each other. We disappointed our fans. We just have to play better. We didn’t want it bad enough the first time we played these guys and we didn’t want it bad enough this time.”

How is it possible that the same guy who gave us that quote also gave us this one just a few weeks ago?

“I’m playing for my teammates, my brothers. That’s who I care about. I don’t care about anybody else to be honest with you. I don’t care if [fans] cheer for me another day. They could boo me every day.”

So the guy who doesn’t care about the fans and doesn’t care about being booed all of a sudden feels bad that he let the fans down? If there’s only two games left in the Giants season, at least there’s only two games left of Brandon Jacobs as a Giant.

Justin Tuck on the loss: “Obviously the one word that comes to mind is disappointing, a little bit embarrassed. Knowing what we had at stake, it is disappointing.”

Disappointing? Why that’s a nice way to put it. But just “a little bit embarrassed?” You lost to the four-win (before today) Redskins at home. You lost to Rex Grossman again. I would say you could use “embarrassed” without “a little bit” in front of it. We’re way passed being “a little bit embarrassed.”

And, how about Tuck and Rolle’s war of words after the game? If the season is going to go down in flames, they might as well make a spectacle of it.

Antrel Rolle is in no place to criticize or call anyone out on this team. He has made a lot of public promises and has acted as a leader to the media, but in reality he has been one of the team’s biggest defensive problems. How many shots of a wide open receiver catching a third-and-long pass and then Rolle and Aaron Ross entering the pictures five seconds later are we going to see?

Justin Tuck is in no place to get mad over criticism. Yes, he has been injured, and I’m not going to say he hasn’t been as injured as he has led people to believe like other members of the league and the media have suggested, but Tuck has been a disappointment. He was supposed to be the face of the defense starting when Michael Strahan, but he has had a hard time living up to that status consistently.

I’m just glad we can add locker room divide and using the media to as a trash-talking messenger to the problems this Giants team faces. It wouldn’t be a second-half collapse without it!

Justin Tuck on if the Giants can make the playoffs: “I still have the most confidence in this football team. Sometimes we come out and lay an egg and today we laid an egg but I have seen us rebound so many times in my short career here and I know the character of the guys in that locker room.”

There were a lot of times during Will Ferrell’s Saturday Night Live career when I wondered how he was able to keep a straight face. There was his Robert Goulet and Gus Chiggins and Mr. Tarkanian and hundreds of others. Most of the time I wondered how he was able to keep a straight face while other cast members (mainly Jimmy Fallon who actually used Saturday’s SNL monologue to make fun of himself for this) laughed at Ferrell’s performance. Well, Justin Tuck used his best Will Ferrell SNL impression with this quote. Seriously, how do you say you “still have the most confidence in this football team?” I think I have less confidence in this team than I did in last year’s team that starred in the Week 15 Eagles debacle, or 2009’s team that started out 5-0, finished 8-8 and gave up 85 points in their last two games. Confidence? I don’t think so.

I could see “Sometimes we come out and lay an egg” painted on the Giants’ locker room wall or on a sign hanging in the tunnel on the way from the locker room to the field. But sometimes the Giants lay eggs? The Giants have lost five of six. That means in the last six games they have laid an egg 83.3 percent of the time. Is that “some of the time?” OK, if you don’t want to use a sample size, then they are 7-7 and have laid an egg 50 percent of the time this season. Half of the time, isn’t “sometimes” it’s “half of the time.”

Tuck’s “short career” is now seven seasons. That’s not exactly “short.” In that time the Giants have lost 20-0 at home in the first round of the playoffs; lost in the first round in the playoffs; had maybe the best Super Bowl run in history; lost in the first round of the playoffs at home; missed the playoffs; missed the playoffs; and right now might miss the playoffs again. So aside from the glorious 2007 playoff run, they have rebounded in exactly zero other seasons. Somehow, Tuck must have erased this from his memory.

Eli Manning on what to tell the fans after the loss: “We’re competing and we’re trying to win. We didn’t play as well as we needed to today and Washington played better than us. We’re sorry about that, but we’re going to get back to work and get ready for the Jets.”

I have nothing negative to say about Eli Manning. Yes, he threw three interceptions and had his worst game of the season in a game the Giants should have won. When it rains, it pours with the Giants and every Giant seemed to have their worst game of the season today. But Eli is also the reason for the team’s seven wins, so he’s allowed to have a bad game every once in a while. The rest of the team gets to have one every week, so it’s not surprising that he finally decided to have one too to balance things out. (He also made the perfect pass to Hakeem Nicks that Nicks dropped for a would-be touchdown, which was the turning point of the game. If Nicks catches it, the Giants take a 7-3 lead, and suddenly the Redskins, who have nothing to play for are playing a meaningless game from behind rather than with house money.)

Like Eli said, the Giants are sorry, even if sorry doesn’t make it and doesn’t make a team make the playoffs. But don’t worry, everyone, the Giants are going to get back to work and get ready for the Jets next week, just like Johnny Boy telling Charlie he will have the money for his debts next week. And the Giants will keep telling us this until they run out of weeks to prepare for. They always do.

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