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Is This Real Life?: The Kevin Youkilis Story

Kevin Youkilis is a Yankee. Yes, this is real life.

The first column I wrote for WFAN.com was on Feb. 1, 2010 and it was titled “I’m Going To Miss Johnny Damon.” This past August I wrote a column titled “I Forgive Derek Lowe.” Prior to Game 4 of the ALCS, I was using Curt Schilling’s “Why not us?” slogan and after the Yankees’ season ended following that Game 4, I was tweeting about wanting David Ortiz on the Yankees. Here we are a few months later and I’m writing about how ecstatic I am that the Yankees signed Kevin Youkilis. There’s an 18-year-old, freshman-in-college version of myself from 2004 that’s looking at the 26-year-old 2012 version of me with the same blank stare I looked at the TV in my Somerset Street dorm in Boston when Johnny Damon hit that first-pitch grand slam off Javier Vazquez in Game 7. If you find me writing about wanting the Yankees to make a deal for Josh Beckett prior to the 2013 trade deadline, please one-punch or bottle me. (I know frenemy Mike Hurley is looking for a reason to do either, so you might have to get in line to land the punch to my jaw or break the bottle over my head.)

Yes, it’s real life that Kevin Youkilis is now a Yankee (pending a physical), but the question posed in the title is asking how I could have not only wanted this man on the Yankees, but how I could now be ready to pull for this guy and participate in “KEV-IN” chants for Roll Call and be a fan of the man that I have spent nearly a decade hating.

For three years I have written an All-Animosity Team though I have kept one in my head for a lot longer than three years. In 2010, Youkilis was the first baseman for the team and in 2011 he was the third baseman, and if it weren’t for the existence of Beckett, Youkilis would have been the face of the All-Animosity franchise. It would have been Youkilis and not Beckett on the signs outside the All-Animosity stadium and on the All-Animosity tickets and on the cover of the All-Animosity media guide, and it would have been Youkilis’ jersey that all the kids would be wearing to the All-Animosity Team’s games. But unfortunately for Kevin Youkilis, and really for all of us, Josh Beckett is who he is.

Here’s what I wrote about Youkilis for the first All-Animosity Team on WFAN.com on April 16, 2010.

First base: Kevin Youkilis plays the game hard, and he is the textbook example for a guy you’d love on your team, but hate to see playing against your team. His entire look, demeanor, unorthodox batting stance and approach to the game is worth despising, and that’s before you factor in his .317 career average against the Yankees. Youkilis has taken over as the most feared hitter in the Red Sox lineup, becoming one of the toughest outs in baseball, and therefore my disgust with him has grown ten fold.

And here’s what I wrote about Youkilis for the second All-Animosity Team for WFAN.com on April 8, 2011.

Third Base: I don’t think I need to explain why Kevin Youkilis is still here. Just focus on him for 30 seconds during a Yankees-Red Sox game and you’ll understand.

Youkilis didn’t make the roster in 2012 because I created the team on June 6 rather than in April like the previous two years and the day I wrote it, Youkilis had played in just 31 games and was hitting .236/.315/.382 with four home runs and 12 RBIs. His Red Sox career had started making its way toward the exit with Bobby Valentine as his escort and the timing for my writing and Youkilis’ season couldn’t have been worse for his bid at three straight teams. Even without cracking the All-Animosity roster, Youkilis still made the column. Here’s what I wrote about Youkilis on June 6.

Kevin Youkilis is the only player to make the All-Animosity Team at two different positions. This will likely be written on his All-Animosity Hall of Fame plaque.

There will be a fourth All-Animosity Team during the 2013 season, but Youkilis won’t be a part of it. And for as weird as this is for me and I’m assuming all Yankee fans, Youkilis has to be weirded out, skeptical, uncertain and worried about all of this and putting on the pinstripes as well like Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) handing his passport to the U.S. customs official at the end of Inception.

The first time the Yankees visited Fenway Park in 2009, I was still living in Boston and I decided to spend a ridiculous amount of money that I couldn’t afford to spend to sit behind home plate for the Friday, April 24 night game. Up until that night when I sat behind home I had really own seen disastrous, heart-breaking games for the Yankees in Fenway. Here are some of them.

May 18, 1999 – Joe Torre returns to the Yankees after missing the beginning of the season to battle prostate cancer. David Cone and Pedro Martinez go toe-to-toe, but trailing 3-2 late, Jason Grimsley can’t keep it close as he gives up three runs in the bottom of the eighth.

April 16, 2004 – In the first meeting of the season, Javier Vazquez gives up two home runs in the first inning and three total as the Yankees are shut down by Tim Wakefield over seven innings. Oh yeah, Kenny Lofton led off for the Yankees. He went 0-for-5.

Oct 18, 2004 – Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS, which also happens to be the third-worst night of my life. The second being Game 6 and the first being Game 7.

April 14, 2005 – Randy Johnson gets lit up for five runs and Tom Gordon turns a 5-5 tie into an 8-5 loss with an embarrassing eighth inning. And to top it all off, Gary Sheffield brawls with some fans in right field.

May 1, 2006 – Johnny Damon returns to Boston as Friendly Fenway’s center field gets littered with money. Tied 3-3 in the eighth, Tanyon Sturtze gives up the go-ahead run. With two men on and David Ortiz due up, Joe Torre calls for the Mike Myers, the lefty specialist and the man the Yankees acquired for the sole purpose of facing Ortiz. Ortiz cranks a three-run home run into the New England night.

April 22, 2007 – After losing the first two games of the series, the Yankees take a 3-0 lead in the rubber match on Sunday Night Baseball. But after holding the Red Sox scoreless for the first two innings, rookie Chase Wright allows Manny Ramirez, J.D. Drew, Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek to go back-to-back-to-back-to-back on him to take a 4-3 lead. The Yankees would take the lead back in the sixth only to have Scott Proctor give up a three-run home run to Lowell in the seventh.

Looking back, I don’t think I had ever seen the Yankees win at Fenway Park entering the 2009 season. And that streak didn’t end right away either. That Friday night when I spent money I couldn’t afford to spend, I watched the worst game in Fenway since Oct. 18, 2004.

The Yankees led 4-2 in the ninth with two outs and Mariano Rivera on the mound and Kevin Youkilis on first base. Jason Bay swung at a 1-0 pitch from number 42 and it landed over the wall in straightaway center at Fenway. I knew the Yankees weren’t going to win that game, but I stayed to watch the horror unfold in extra innings.

Sure enough, in the 11th inning Damaso Marte’s left arm grooved the most hittable pitch in major league history right down the middle for Kevin Youkilis and when Youkilis made contact, I knew the ball wasn’t going to land in Fenway and I wasn’t sure if it was even going to land at all. I’m still not sure it ever landed. If it did, it probably ended up in the living room of a Newbury Street apartment. And to top things off, I lost my ID and wasn’t able to go to a bar and drink my sorrows away.

I didn’t go to Fenway for the Saturday afternoon game the following day, which might have been my best decision of 2009 (besides missing the Opening Day disaster at the Stadium). Why was it such a good decision? Well, the Yankees held a 6-0 lead in the fourth inning before A.J. Burnett showed us for the first time just who A.J. Burnett could be as he gave up a grand slam to Jason Varitek (no, that’s not a typo) as part of the eight runs he would allow over his final two innings of work. The Yankees lost 16-11.

But I did go to Fenway the next night for Sunday Night Baseball and my streak continued when Andy Pettitte fell apart in the fifth inning and with Jacoby Ellsbury on third base and David Ortiz on second, after doubling in the go-ahead run, Pettitte allowed Ellsbury to steal home on him. I watched the whole thing happen in slow motion from my seat on the first-base line.

Nearly two months later, I watched the Yankees lose again at Fenway. It was June 10 and Chien-Ming Wang continued the worst season ever and was relieved by Phil Hughes, which ended up being a move and decision that would save the Yankees’ season.

If you don’t remember, the Yankees opened 0-8 against the Red Sox in 2009. This came following a year in which the Yankees missed the playoffs for the first time since 1993 and the Red Sox had come within one win of their second straight World Series appearance and third since the Yankees had last reached the Series in 2003. The Red Sox had developed players the way the Yankees used to and it seemed like maybe I would be on the other end of nearly a century of losing. Sure, none of this happened, but on June 11, 2009 when the Yankees were 0-8 against the Red Sox (despite being 34-18 against everyone else) it seemed like a real possibility. It seemed like a real possibility in the same way as October 2006 when the Mets might become the more successful New York baseball team and in 2009 and 2010 when it seemed like the Jets would become the more successful New York football team. Again, none of this happened. Thankfully.

Kevin Youkilis represented change in the shift of power in the AL East, the way Frank Lucas represented a shift of power in the heroin game in New York City. And when I think of Youkilis and Pedroia and Ellsbury and how I felt in the middle of 2009 before they were swept by the Angels and before they didn’t reach the playoffs in 2010, 2011 or 2012, I can’t help, but think about the exchange between Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) and Richie Roberts (Russell Crowe) at the end of American Gangster.

Richie: The only thing they hate more than you is what you represent.

Frank: I don’t represent nothing.

Richie: You don’t? Black businessman like you? Of course you do. But once you’re gone, things can return to normal.

I had grown accustomed to the Red Sox being so bad for so long that their success from 2003 through 2008 and their finding new ways to embarrass the Yankees early in 2009 kept me up at night. With John Henry tweeting about The Curse of Mark Teixeira, it was impossible to not look at Youkilis and Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia and Jon Lester and wonder how long this would continue or if it would ever end and if things would ever return to normal.

I said back in August that “Derek Lowe on the Yankees puts a little dent into what happened on those four nights. No, it doesn’t erase it because nothing ever will, but it helps to cope with what happened. Johnny Damon shaving his head and pointing during Roll Call and becoming a Red Sox killer and stealing third base against the Phillies and getting doused in champagne in the Yankees clubhouse put a massive dent in it.” Youkilis and David Ortiz had been the only remaining pieces of the 2004 team as of last year, even if Youkilis played as much of a role in the ’04 postseason (0-for-2 with a strikeout) as me. But what Youkilis did for the Red Sox from 2006 on and how big of a role he played in changing the culture of who the Red Sox became (not so much anymore) and what they represent (also, not so much anymore) means a dent right around the size of Damon’s.

I have always hated the “YOUUUUUUUUUK!” cheers as much as I have hated “Sweet Caroline” and the way I hated Jonathan Papelbon pounding the bullpen police officer before running to the mound. But once upon a time I also hated Johnny Damon and Derek Lowe. I have spent the last nine summers hating Kevin Youkilis, but I will spend this summer pulling for those nine-pitch at-bats that result in a double in the gap the way they tortured me for so many years. So I guess there’s only one thing to do.

“YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!” Welcome to New York. Just don’t ask for number 20.

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NFL Week 3 Picks

It’s Week 3 of the NFL season and it’s time for more picks despite an embarrassing performance last week.

I always wonder how veteran players on teams that are mathematically eliminated from the postseason (like the Red Sox, Mets and Phillies) get up for games in September when Game 162 and the finish line and the six-month offseason are in sight. Why not just swing at every pitch and give away at-bats? Sure, there’s the whole “integrity of the game” idea when you’re facing teams in contention, but come on, how do Dustin Pedroia and David Wright not just want to get home and forget about 2012? The answer is they probably do, but they are just good at hiding it.

I bring up that idea because I’m not sure where to find the energy and motivation after Week 2 beat the crap out of me like the members of the Free World beating up Rabbit in 8 Mile. Last week I wrote about how I wasn’t expecting a spectacular Week 2, but just something serviceable to keep me afloat so that I could figure out the league without falling too far behind. So much for that plan. I’m keeping these picks short and sweet and right to the point because clearly logic and theories aren’t working out.

Week 3 … let’s go!

(Home team in caps)

NEW YORK GIANTS +3 over Carolina
Well, I finally hit a Wednesday/Thursday game. (This pick was made on Twitter on Thursday.)

St. Louis +7.5 over CHICAGO
I picked the Bears on Thursday Night Football against the Packers last week. How did the Bears reward me? Well, here’s Charles Woodson Jay Cutler to let you know how the game went.

“Heard some talk out of the Bears: Packers secondary not working coverage, bigger receivers … we heard about it. We understand that Jay is excited about his new weapons, but it’s the same-old Jay. We don’t need luck; Jay will throw us the ball.”

It’s going to be a while until I trust Jay Cutler again. Not that I ever really did anyway.

DALLAS -8 over Tampa Bay
I don’t think the Cowboys are as good as they were on Opening Night at MetLife. I also don’t think the Buccaneers are as bad as they were in blowing the game on Sunday at MetLife. I also don’t think the Buccaneers are good, and it’s the Cowboys’ home opener. That’s how I got to this pick.

San Francisco -7 over MINNESOTA
I’m going to re-write what I wrote about the 49ers last week just so I can see it on paper and let it settle in that I could really think this.

“It can’t be good that I think the best team in the NFL is the one whose quarterback is Alex Smith.”

Detroit -3.5 over TENNESSEE
The Titans have been outscored 72-32 in the first two weeks. How is this line only 3.5?

Cincinnati +3 over WASHINGTON
The Redskins were supposed to get blown out at the SuperDome in Week 1, but instead they “upset” the Saints. I say “upset” because aside from the line, it wasn’t much of an upset. Then the Redskins lost to the Rams, while the Saints lost to the Panthers who were just embarrassed at home by the Giants’ backup offense. The Redskins might not be as good as their Week 1 win suggests because the Saints might not be good at all. But it’s going to take Vegas and the public a few weeks to realize this and then the Redskins will be the Redskins again. (My friend Ray, a Redskins fan, is probably going to punch me in the face on Friday night when I see him for ripping the Redskins for a third straight week.)

New York Jets -2.5 over MIAMI
I don’t think blowing out Carson Palmer and the Raiders is really that much of an accomplishment for the Dolphins, but I guess any win for them in 2012 can be considered an accomplishment since they should be right there for the No. 1 pick in draft. Well, unless Brandon Weeden has something to say about it.

I picked against the Jets and they won by 20. I picked the Jets and they lost by 17. They have handed me two losses this season. I’m going with them here for what might be the last time in 2012.

Kansas City +8.5 over NEW ORLEANS
It’s very possible that we’re a week away from the Saints starting to be part of the “Do I Really Have to Pick This Game of the Week?”

Buffalo -3 over CLEVELAND
The “Do I Really Have To Pick This Game?” of the week. I do have to pick it? OK. Go Bills!

INDIANAPOLIS -3 over Jacksonville
Andrew Luck covered for me last week at home, so I have to go with the hot hand, right? That and I can’t convince myself to take Blaine Gabbert for a second time in three weeks even if he covered for me that first time.

ARIZONA +3.5 over Philadelphia
Am I really picking a starting quarterback who started the year backing up a quarterback from Fordham and who is playing against his former team that didn’t want him? Yes. Yes, I am.

Atlanta +3 over SAN DIEGO
These might be the two non-NFC East, non-Patriots, non-Jets teams that I hate the most. I went against everything I believe in by bacon Philip Rivers last week (and it worked), but that was a one-time deal.

Houston -2 over DENVER
For the first time this season I’m going to pick against Peyton Manning. It feels weird and I don’t want to, but the Texans have left me no choice with two convincing covers in the first two weeks. Sorry, Peyton. I hope we can still be friends.

Pittsburgh -4 over OAKLAND
The Raiders lost for me in Week 1. The Raiders lost for me in Week 2. I’m not about to let them lose for me in Week 3. Enough is enough.

BALTIMORE -3 over New England
This isn’t so much about me thinking Baltimore will win and cover as it is me wanting New England to lose. If the Patriots lose, they will be 1-2 and if you thought this Wes Welker nonsense was media overkill, wait until the AFC favorites lose back-to-back games this early in the season. I can’t wait to read The Boston Globe and the Boston Herald on Monday.

Green Bay -3.5 over SEATTLE
I wanted to take Seattle last week at home against Dallas, and I didn’t, and I lost. I want to take Seattle this week against Green Bay, but I’m not going to.

Last Week: 5-10-1
Season: 12-19-1

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Yankees and Red Sox Headed in Different Directions

The Yankees and Red Sox meet in the Bronx this weekend for a three-game series and even though it’s meaningless, it calls for an email exchange with Mike Hurley.

When I first looked at the 2012 Yankees schedule I thought this weekend’s series would be crucial in determining  who would win the division and who would try their luck in Bud Selig’s one-game playoff. But this series isn’t crucial, and it’s weird that the Yankees and Red Sox will meet with 13 games separating them in the loss column. I said it’s “weird,” I didn’t say it’s “bad.”

With the Yankees and Red Sox meeting set for three games in the Bronx I sent Mike Hurley the mandatory email to let him know that the baseball season is still going on. I’m surprised he replied.

Keefe: I made the subject of the initial email I sent to you “Yacht Party” hoping that you would think it was an invitation from John Henry to join him on his yacht to bring up team morale for the Red Sox. That is what the ownership group in Boston does when things are going poorly at this time of the year, right?

This is our first email exchange since July 6, but we also did a podcast on July 27. Neither time did we actually talk about the actual games or the series, and neither time did you have any Yankees-related questions for me. Instead we spent thousands of words and 34 minutes and two seconds of a podcast talking about the issues surrounding the Red Sox. Now that things are even worse than they were the last two times we talked, why would we change what’s working?

I’m not sure where Jeff Passan ranks on my list of heroes, but he’s definitely in the conversation. After the John Lackey double-fisting story there seemed to be a lull for a day or two with the Red Sox’ clubhouse drama, which was unusual for the the last 11 months and I started to wonder if that would be it for the backstabbing and anonymous sources until the end of the season when there is likely to be even more. Then Jeff Passan comes along and blows away every other Red Sox storyline since the fried chicken and beer stories became public last fall.

There’s just so much in Passan’s story that I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like a five-year-old staring at a mountain of Christmas presents and having no clue which one to open first. I know you’re supposed to save the biggest gift for last, but eff that. Let’s start with the guy who I thought was invincible in Boston. (Then again, I thought Tim Thomas was invincible in Boston a year ago.)

With David Ortiz out of the lineup, and talking about his contract and calling Boston a sh-thole when he’s in the lineup, and Kevin Youkilis now playing for the other Sox, Dustin Pedroia is currently the only player you could consider the face of the Red Sox, but it seems like that idea is slowly fading.

Pedroia was outed by Passan as co-chair of the Anti-Bobby Valentine Club along with Adrian Gonzalez (don’t worry we’ll get to the defending AL Player of the Week) and it was the first time I can remember where Pedroia came out as a bad guy in his major league career. Of course with the release of this story I listened to Boston sports radio and callers were, for likely the first time in history, going against Pedroia and even saying he needs to go.

While it seems like nearly all of Boston despises Bobby V, is it possible that Pedroia and Gonzalez are starting to make Bobby V a sympathetic figure?

Hurley: It was incredible the other day when irate fans were calling in to 98.5 The Sports Hub and saying they were no longer going to wear their Pedroia jerseys. One guy even said his son’s favorite player was Pedroia but he’s no longer allowed to wear his Pedroia shirt. That may be more indicative of his overbearing parenting tactics than the overall feeling of the fan base, but it gives you an indication of how things are going around here.

The thing with this is that it’s just so complicated and there are so many layers to it, it’s really hard to unravel all the way to try to gain some real understanding and generate some valid opinions. I mean, take Pedroia for example. The guy plays his ass off every night, so there’s no problems with him on the field (though he might want to hit .300 before he stages a mutiny). And he took a team-friendly deal long before free agency, definitely passing up big bucks in doing so (he makes $8 million this year). He truly appears to be playing the game for the right reasons, and that’s respectable.

On the other hand, he gets paid $8 million to play baseball, so he should probably just stick to playing baseball. Unless Bob Valentine was peeing in Dusty’s locker and leaving old deli meats to bake in the sun on Pedroia’s dashboard, his situation can’t be so bad that he needs to lead the charge to get the manager fired. I absolutely believe Passan’s story 100 percent and I don’t believe one word that’s come out of Pedroia, Gonzalez, Valentine or most of all ownership since the story broke. It happened, and they’re embarrassed, as they should be.

In the long run, I don’t think Pedroia will be painted in a negative light for a very long time. For one, he’s going to outlast Valentine. Hell, this email exchange may outlast Valentine. And he’s not going to change on the field, which ultimately is why people like baseball players to begin with. I think. I really don’t know anymore.

And um. Did you say Adrian Gonzalez is the defending AL Player of the Week? I believe you mean defending AL Co-Player of the Week. He still was given a free watch, though. I’m really happy for him. That’s two free watches this year!

Keefe: Gonzalez has made out pretty nice since arriving in Boston. So far he has received a $154-million contract extension and has now earned a pair of watches. Who cares that he was part of the worst September collapse in history last year or that he won’t play in a postseason game this year? I certainly don’t.

I have waited for the day that Boston would turn on Pedroia, and I never thought it would come because who thought it could get this bad? If this thing can reach Pedroia and force Boston parents to not allow their children to wear his jersey, just how much worse can it get it? I have an answer: much worse.

Larry Lucchino defended Bobby Valentine on WEEI on Thursday and said that he would not be fired this season. But if you believe what Larry Lucchino says then you probably believe the one-game playoff is good for baseball. Bobby Valentine is going to get fired for this season because the Red Sox ownership might be out of touch with what goes on with their team now that all of their attention is focused on soccer, but they aren’t that out of touch to see the empty seats at Fenway and the way their investment in perceived throughout the city and in the media. There is no way they can go into 2013 with this team led by this man.

While things were bad last September under Terry Francona, things didn’t really come out until the season was over and Francona was gone, so he never had to manage with the media and public being in on the toxicity of the clubhouse. Valentine has had control of the team through the entire aftermath of last September and whether or not injuries are responsible for this season, he has done nothing to prove he is the type of leader that can change things. (This is also why I hope he doesn’t get fired and continues to set the Red Sox back years.) So whether he gets fired at Yankee Stadium this weekend or the following week or on Sept. 6 (my pick in the Bobby V Firing Pool) or at the end of the season, he’s going to get fired for what’s happened this year.

The one thing we knew and have been reminded about Bobby V is that he has a big mouth and will say anything and everything to anyone at anytime. (That felt a little Michael Scott-esque.) And when Bobby V gets fired it’s all going to come out. Anything that will put the players and the ownership group in a negative light will reach the media, and the Red Sox will respond with a Nomar/Manny/Francona-like slandering of Valentine. It’s going to be glorious.

When Bobby Valentine gets fired, the Red Sox and their fans are going to long for the days of fried chicken and beer and Jeff Passan.

Hurley: The way you can write for days without actually asking a question is truly impressive. Bravo.

Valentine is very much like Michael Scott in terms of ineptitude, but the difference is that Michael Scott is likable. I really don’t see a reason to like Valentine. I don’t see any reason to like any 62-year-old man who goes by “Bobby.”

It’s going to be tough for Lucchino to fire Valentine, considering it was Lucchino who forced the hiring because BOBBY just had so much pep! He rides his bike around! He shoots from the hip! Ha! He’ll be a real hoot!!

So really Larry should fire himself before firing Valentine, but we all know that’s not going to happen.

And speaking of ownership, you might’ve missed the story from the Liverpool Echo this week, in which Henry blames Tom Hicks for all the team’s problems, even though Henry’s owned the team for two full years. Excuses, excuses, excuses. I’m not sure Henry can get his yacht over to England to pump up the players, but I don’t think his comments in the story are going to help.

Some highlights:

“The best analogy is that you can’t turn an ocean liner around like you can turn a speedboat.”

“We knew we could never be on an equal footing financially with the Yankees. But we had to do everything in our power to get on a level footing with them on the playing field. That was a tremendous challenge. You could say Liverpool is an even bigger challenge than the Red Sox.

“We came into this not knowing an awful lot about football,” he admitted.

Keefe: I think my biggest problem with Bobby isn’t that he’s called a baseball “genius” or that people think everything he does is calculated (if anything he shouldn’t want this reputation because why would you want to be perceived as calculated when you’re the manager of a horrible team), but it’s his smugness. Bobby always thinks he’s the smartest man in the room and carries this idea that he is better than everyone else. Just look at his responses to questions about the Passan story.

“Wow. Is that what was said, really? That’s what Dustin and Adrian said? It did say that? I didn’t hear that. I’m glad that July is over, because they’re still playing for me.”

And…

“I’m not going to comment on any stories because I don’t know what issues you might be referring to. Adrian’s issues? Dustin and I had a talk about a meeting I had. I don’t know if that was July.”

Let’s forget that Bobby Valentine shrugged off the meeting and pretended like it never happened even though Ben Cherington confirmed that the meeting take place. Let’s forget about that for a second and think about this: Is Jeff Passan going to publish a story to the fifth-biggest U.S. site (according to Quantcast) about a story he made up? Is he going to go out on a whim and create sources and guess that things happened just to draw attention to himself on a story that would be the most significant story regarding the Red Sox since Bob Hohler’s story? Apparently Pedroia and Gonzalez think so.

Dustin Pedroia: “I know we lost last year and we made huge signings and all kinds of stuff, but we’re trying to play the game the right way and have an organization that does things right, and just play winning baseball. It’s tough when all this stuff comes out, that everyone’s trying to get the manager fired. That’s not the case, man. I’ve never met the guy that wrote the story. That’s about it.”

Adrian Gonzalez: “The source is inaccurate. He says that I was animated and one of the most vocal guys in the meeting and that’s false. If somebody’s going to try to be an unnamed source, they better be right with what they say, because this is putting our integrity and everyone about us out there and that’s just unfair.”

I love the back and forth with the players and the media and the players just calling everyone liars when higher-ups are confirming things they are denying. And I love that the pitching staff is no longer the only focal point of this disaster, but now everyone is getting dragged into it.

Who looks the worst out of all of this? Ownership, Bobby, Pedroia or Gonzalez?

Hurley: Everyone. But if you don’t want me to take the easy way out, I’ll pick ownership.

They fired Terry Francona. They decided against letting Ben Cherington hire a baseball manager. They instead forced the hiring of a circus clown. They blamed Francona for the “culture” problem, yet they allowed Josh Beckett to give a middle finger to the media and fans when he refused to apologize for golfing while missing a start due to injury. They censored Valentine from even criticizing the player. They release BS statements via email, which speaks to their lack of accountability. Email! They give Beats by Dre headphones to players on a harbor cruise after the players complain the schedule is too grueling. They send promotional emails to tell ticket holders that everything’s OK and you should still come pay baseball’s highest ticket prices to watch “the cheerful Cody Ross” and the “inspiring Daniel Nava.”

Yes, Valentine is a goofball, and yes the players acted improperly and should feel some shame about it, but ultimately everything can be traced back to the culture fostered by ownership. They’ve acted as though they’re infallible in recent years, and it’s blown up in their face.

Keefe: I think your mention of Josh Beckett was the first mention of Josh Beckett in this exchange, which is pretty impressive because he had been the face of the September 2011-Present Red Sox, and it seems like the Passan story has put him in the background, which is a shame.

On Thursday you wrote in chronological order the turmoil that has surrounded the team since Opening Day. While all of the events have brought joy to my life I decided to pick out my five favorite moments from the list that aren’t the Passan story.

1. April 21: The Sox blow a 9-0 lead over the Yankees after five innings and eventually lose 15-9. Valentine calls it “rock bottom.”

2. May 4: Boston Globe investigates Fenway Park’s “sellout streak” and reveals it to be a “distribution streak” in which not every seat is sold.

3. May 6: In a 17-inning game against the Orioles, Adrian Gonzalez steps in to bat against designated hitter/first baseman Chris Davis, who was pitching in an emergency role. Gonzalez strikes out on three pitches. The Sox lose 9-6.

4. May 10: Josh Beckett allows 7 ER in 2.1 IP. He then refuses to apologize after the game for golfing while injured, and he delivers the now-infamous “we only get 18 off days a year” message. Also, a fan wearing a paper bag on his head becomes a national sensation as a representative of the Red Sox fan base.

5. June 21: David Ortiz says he’s not having fun and says Boston is “becoming to be the [expletive] hole that it used to be.”

You listed 29 events that make the Red Sox franchise look bad in the last four-plus months. 29! There’s still 47 days left in the season. This is only going to get better.

Which of these events is your favorite? (You can pick more than one if you want since it’s going to be hard to narrow it down.)

Hurley: I think my favorite was this one:

April 21: Red Sox acquire Marlon Byrd, who had been hitting .070 for the Cubs. He’d go on to hit .270 with the Red Sox before he was released in June, and he was later suspended for testing positive for PEDs.

What better describes the 2012 Red Sox than the acquisition of an .070 hitter from the NL Central?

I also liked this one:

April 25: Bobby Valentine admits that he didn’t know opposing pitcher Liam Hendriks was a righty, so he drew up his original lineup as though the pitcher was a lefty. Valentine said it was Jarrod Saltalamacchia who alerted him to the mistake.

I think overall, from a pure in-game management, standpoint, Valentine has done a pretty good job. But he was flat-out awful in April. He was so clueless. This was the perfect encapsulation of that.

This one was pretty good, too:

June 3: Daniel Bard lasts just 1.2 innings in Toronto, in which he allowed five earned runs while hitting two batters and walking six. He’s yet to return to the big leagues.

That’s just funny. Go Red Sox.

Keefe: I would like to thank your Red Sox for beating the Orioles on Thursday night and keeping the Yankees’ division lead at six games. Who would have thought that in the middle of August I would be rooting for the Red Sox to beat the Orioles to help the Yankees’ maintain their division lead? I’m just happy everything is playing out the way it is.

It sucks that this weekend’s series is meaningless. When I first looked at the schedule before the season I looked at this series, the mid-September series at Fenway and the last series of the season at the Stadium as the three most important series of the season. Now they are just a joke. The best part is that the ticket prices for those three September games at Fenway will only be about $8 each. I’m guessing there will empty rows and maybe even sections at Fenway for those three games, but Sam Kennedy won’t be counting those seats when he announces another sellout.

I get the feeling from this exchange that not only have you given up on the Red Sox, which you did weeks ago, but that you don’t even really like talking about them anymore. The Red Sox forced you to write about the Patriots’ first preseason game. I mean how much more sports deprived can someone get than not only watching preseason football with interest, but also feeling the need to write about it? I’m not even sure a “Sweet Caroline” sing along can fix where you’re at.

I wish I could say that I’m sorry to see you this down on your baseball team, but I can’t. All I can hope for at this point is that it continues through the final six weeks of the season and that Jeff Passan’s story was just the first of many to come out between now and Game 162.

Now that it’s over and it’s been accepted, what has to change this offseason and who’s out of Boston? (Even though it will never happen, I’ve been working to try to fit Dustin Pedroia into the Yankees infield.)

Hurley: You’re a bad person.

The whole area is much more excited about Patriots’ FAKE PRESEASON GAMES than real Red Sox games. That’s where we’re at here. I wrote a lot about that preseason game because there’s a team that will actually contend for a title this year and is run by competent people. It’s a lot more fun than writing about the Red Sox.

How do you fix the Red Sox? I don’t know. Like I said, the dysfunction starts at the top, so can you really fix it with a few simple moves?

You could start by empowering the GM to actually be the GM. That’d be a good start. Let him hire a baseball manager and not a dugout entertainer.

Ideally, you’d find a way to get rid of Beckett and Lackey, though even if you paid their entire contracts, would any team take them? If you were the GM of a team, would you take either one of those guys for free? I might take Beckett, but I’d have to think about it. For free! That’s a pretty bad situation.

You hold a meeting with the players in spring training and remind them that they’re employees. They should show up to work, play baseball, then go home, enjoy your time with your family, then come back to work the next day. You don’t get to have a say in how things are run, because things tend to unravel when that happens. (Note from Michael: This will never happen. Can you picture John Henry delivering this speech? Can you picture him even believing the message? Ha.)

You keep the lineup as is. They score plenty of runs and play pretty solid defense. As long as you can keep them in line, they’ll be fine. (Though you should maybe upgrade from Nick Punto. Just a thought.)

You let your new manager pick his staff. Do you know that the Red Sox coaches don’t talk to each other or to Valentine? In real life. It happens. So bring in a competent manager who will be able to pick competent coaches, people who can help Jon Lester get out of his funk, or can help Daniel Bard throw straight, who can help Jacoby Ellsbury find his power stroke, etc.

This team was the best team in baseball 12 months ago. At the end of August last year, with mostly the same guys, they were 83-52. This year, they’ll be lucky to be .500. They’ll be good enough to compete again next year so long as they open the wallet and take some steps to change the culture. I just don’t know if they can do that.

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Yankees

Boston Has Become the Newer New York

Boston and its fans have always hated New York, so isn’t it weird that the city has become everything it’s been against? Mike Miccoli misses the way things used to be.

Here’s something you probably didn’t know about me, even though we may have never met: I’m a Red Sox fan, but I used to root for the New York Yankees.

As a kid growing up in Rhode Island, the Tri-Guido-County areas dictated enemy lines for Yankees and Red Sox fans. Thanks to my lack of geographical direction, I’m not too sure which side I was on, but I knew that I liked rooting for winners, and in the late ‘90s/early 2000s, the Yankees were the biggest winner.

Of course, I was a casual baseball fan back then. By casual, I mean that I watched the team when they were winning, collected Derek Jeter baseball cards and may or may not have bought a red Yankees cap, similar to the one Fred Durst wore. I was, unfortunately, the poster boy for pink hat fan’s as a teenager. But with hockey and football as my sports, I thought it was somewhat acceptable to root for a baseball team who just won all the time. It wasn’t like the Bruins or Patriots were winning anything for me … yet.

So what happened to my pink-hat ways? Thankfully, I grew up and moved to Boston where the city’s culture forced me to become a baseball junkie (as did years of fantasy baseball). The move forced me to turn in my pink, I mean red Yankees hat for a Red Sox hat. I resisted at first – seriously, I did – before succumbing to the pressures of my friends and the city.

The Red Sox were the perennial underdogs; a group of guys who you could get behind, not because they were a team of All-Stars or the highest-paid players, but because they wanted to win, and erase lifetimes of losing in Boston. The team had been consistently deserving of a “Good job, good effort” meme up until 2004, and it was endearing. But in 2004, everything changed, and then, for good measure, everything changed again in 2007.

Along with the Patriots, the Red Sox became the toast of the town, while the Bruins and Celtics wallowed in mediocrity, turning around the city’s sports focus. The change lasted until 2008 when the Celtics won and earned back their respect and the Bruins regained their status after winning in 2011.

In the span of 10 years, Boston sports teams claimed a total of seven championships. Prior to 2002 (when the Patriots won their first Super Bowl) it might have taken the city of Boston 30 years to reach that number, and it would have only been because of the Celtics’ torrid run in the late 70s and 80s, and the Bruins sole Cup in ‘72.

After the seven titles, Boston wasn’t the home of the underdog anymore. The city and its teams became the favorites. Boston was the city with the parades, the highest payrolls and the seemingly sold-out games. Everyone was a fan, too – for better or worse. And by winning, Boston got what they’ve always wanted: to be exactly like New York.

Championships do strange things to teams and in turn, cities. Win a few and you’ll have a target on your back for years to come. The same fans who might have been rooting for the Patriots to upset the Rams, the Red Sox to stun the Yankees right before sweeping the Cardinals, the Celtics to silence the Lakers and the Bruins to shock the Canucks, probably despise those teams now. And can you blame them? Pair those wins with embarrassing moments like Spygate (ugh), White Housegate (ugh) and Bobby Valentine (UGH), and what do you expect to happen?

In becoming New York, the Boston sports scene turned into everything Boston sports fans hated about their rival city. And now, New York’s teams and players have become … umm … well, likeable. Right now I could say something positive about every New York team sans the Jets, because frankly, the Jets are still the worst. But this was never the case before. When the Bruins were knocked out of the playoffs in the first round, who did I root for? The Rangers: a New York team I grew up hating.

While Boston still has plenty of likeable, hard-working athletes there are a hell of a lot of guys who are considered to be flat-out jerks. New York doesn’t have that same stigma anymore. New York has the universally appreciated Henrik Lundqvist, Ryan Callahan, Victor Cruz and Curtis Granderson, and Jeter and Mariano Rivera are on an even higher level. Sure, New York still boasts some jerks, but the bad apples are clearly outnumbered.

It’s become the complete opposite in Boston. Yes, there’s Patrice Bergeron, Paul Pierce and Dustin Pedroia, but take a look around at fans from the sports world fans and look at how many non-Bostonians hate Boston athletes. How many outsiders are cheering for Tom Brady nowadays? Or what about Tim Thomas? Feel-good stories (like the ones Brady and Thomas shared) get tainted once the ultimate goal is reached and not reached repeatedly, and those two former postseason heroes are experiencing that now have postseason failures.

I guess this is all part of the unspoken trade-off for success: win championships and you will be hated. I get it. But if Boston is going to be New York, the only thing I want to know is if we can give some of our bandwagon fans to New York? We never asked for them.

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BlogsMLB

The All-Animosity Team

It’s time for the Third Annual All-Animosity Team, which consists of one player at each position, along with a starting pitcher, a closer and a manager from around the league.

Your team is up by one run in the eighth inning and the bases are loaded with two outs. Who is the last person you want to see coming to the plate?

Albert Pujols, Josh Hamilton and Miguel Cabrera would be normal answers for non-Yankees fans, but ask a Yankees fan, and you might get Robert Andino, Carlos Pena or Howie Kendrick. Certain fans fear certain players differently, especially players on rival teams. I don’t feel confident when A-Rod is up against the Red Sox, but I have had Red Sox fans tell me they are scared when A-Rod is up. I could understand Derek Jeter or Robinson Cano (the most common answers), but A-Rod? If I ever get Mark Teixeira as an answer I might pass out.

Players that fan bases are scared of are usually also players that those fan bases hate. They are connected because usually hate players because of something they did to your team though there are times when you just hate a certain player because of who they are.

This brings us to the Third Annual All-Animosity Team, which consists of one player at each position, along with a starting pitcher, a closer and a manager from around the league. The standards to be considered for the team are simple and only one of the following three requirements needs to be met.

1. The person is a Yankee killer.

2. The person plays for the Red Sox.

3. I don’t like the person. (When I say, “I don’t like the person” or if I say, “I hate someone” I mean I don’t like the person who wears a uniform and plays or manages for a Major League Baseball team and not the actual person away from the game. I’m sure some of the people on this list are nice people. I’m glad we got that out of the way since I can already see Player X’s fan base in an uproar about me hating someone who does so much for the community.)

So, here is the 2012 All-Animosity Team with the winners from the previous years also listed.

C – Matt Wieters (2011 – Jarrod Saltalamacchia, 2010 – Jason Varitek)
Here are Wieters’ numbers against the Yankees this season.

14-for-30 (.467), 3 2B, 2 HR, 3 RBIs, .543 OBP, .767 SLG

The bad news is that the Orioles and Yankees still have to play 10 more games against each other this year. The worse news is that Wieters just turned 26 at the end of May. I have many, many, many more seasons of Wieters ruining summer nights for me.

1B – Adrian Gonzalez (2011 – Adrian Gonzalez, 2010 – Kevin Youkilis)
I really wanted to put Justin Morneau in this spot. Why? Well because Morneau is hitting .455/.571/1.273 against the Yankees this season with three home runs and four RBIs in just three games and 11 at-bats and he seems to hit three home runs in every series the Twins play at the Stadium. But Morneau never really stood a chance at making the team over Adrian Gonzalez.

Here are some quotes from Adrian Gonzalez following Game 162 of the 2011 season.

“We didn’t do a better job with the lead. I’m a firm believer that God has a plan and it wasn’t in his plan for us to move forward.”

“God didn’t have it in the cards for us.”

“We play too many night games on getaway days and get into places at 4 in the morning. This has been my toughest season physical because of that. We play a lot of night games on Sunday for television and those things take a lot out of you.”

“They can put the Padres on ESPN, too. The schedule really hurt us. Nobody is really reporting that.”

Forget that Gonzalez plays for the Red Sox. If you like the person who gave those excuses for the reason his team failed to make the playoffs then maybe you need to be on the All-Animosity Team of Life. If a Yankee had blamed the ALDS loss to the Tigers on anyone but themselves I would have turned into Nicolas Cage from any of these scenes.

2B – Dustin Pedroia (2011 – Dustin Pedroia, 2010 – Dustin Pedroia)
I hate to reuse what I wrote about Pedroia in this spot last year, but it still fits perfectly.

Pedroia is like Tom Brady for me. He has that winning instinct that you just don’t see all the time these days, he plays hard and he’s the type of guy you want on your team. But if I didn’t put him here again it would just be weird.

Even though I have a love/hate relationship with Pedroia and wish there was a way to get him on the Yankees while maintaining the same roster (Pedroia at second, Cano to third, A-Rod to DH, anyone?), if I didn’t put him on here people would think I like him, and that’s not the case.

3B – Robert Andino (2011 – Kevin Youkilis, 2010 – Chone Figgins)
(Note: Kevin Youkilis is the only player to make the All-Animosity Team at two different positions. This will likely be written on his All-Animosity Hall of Fame plaque.)

This is probably the only time Robert Andino will be viewed as a scarier hitter than Miguel Cabrera. Actually I know it will be the only time.

Andino is 10-for-27 against the Yankees in 2012, and it has a lot do with the fact that he crushes CC Sabathia (8-for-20, 1 2B, 1 HR, 3 RBIs). Even though I don’t like Andino I will always have a special place for him in my heart for putting the dagger into the Red Sox’ 2011 season (or should I say the 1927 Yankees’ season?).

SS – Jose Reyes (2011 – Jose Reyes, 2010 – Jose Reyes)
I always look to the Red Sox roster before considering anyone else for any of the positions on this team, but when you have a shortstop platoon of Mike Aviles and Nick Punto, it’s hard to really hold any animosity toward them. In fact, I love the Red Sox’ idea of a shortstop platoon to create the superpower that is Mick Avunto. If I’m Ben Cherington, I give them both five-years deals. Why break up a good thing?

Mets fans were worried about Jose Reyes going to the Phillies and he ended up with another division rival in the Marlins. Do you remember hearing things like “The Mets have to re-sign Reyes!” and “I won’t watch a Mets game next year if Reyes leaves” from Mets fans last year? I do. But what happened when Reyes left the Mets for the Marlins and $106 million? The Mets became a likable team. They became a fun team to watch, even for someone like me who hates the Mets.

Jose Reyes was the face of what has gone wrong with the Mets since Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS and he needed to go despite Mets fans thinking he was part of the franchise’s solution rather than part of the problem. But I guess it’s hard to let go of a player Mets fans deemed “The Most Exciting Players in Baseball” even when that player requests to come out of the lineup to protect his batting title.

The season is a third of the way through and Reyes has no home runs and 12 RBIs in 247 plate appearances this season. But hey, Reyes was going to be the future of the Mets!

LF – Delmon Young (2011 – Delmon Young, 2010 – Manny Ramirez)
Delmon Young probably would have been taken off this list, but then he went and hit home runs in Games 1, 3 and 5 of the ALDS. I will never forget John Smoltz’s comment about watching out for a first-pitch fastball from Rafael Soriano to lead off the bottom of the seventh inning after the Yankees had just come back to tie the game with two runs off Verlander. That first-pitch fastball changed the series. I’m just glad David Robertson was sitting in the bullpen after not pitching in Games 1 or 2 and after being rested for the final two weeks of the regular season by Joe Girardi. Now that’s good managing.

CF – Josh Hamilton (2011 – B.J. Upton, 2010 – Vernon Wells)
I think I’m one of the only people that isn’t a Josh Hamilton fan. I get his whole “comeback” story, but if you’re a Yankees fan and you root for Hamilton maybe you forgot about these numbers from the 2010 ALCS.

7-for-20 (.350), 6 R, 1 2B, 4 HR, 7 RBIs, 3 SB, 8 BB, .536 OBP, 1.000 SLG

Do you still like him?

It’s insane that it’s June 6 and Hamilton has 21 HR and 58 RBIs after homering just 25 times in 121 games last year and 32 times in 133 games in his MVP year in 2010.

RF – Jose Bautista (2011 – Magglio Ordonez, 2010 – Magglio Ordonez)
The only way Magglio Ordonez wasn’t going to win this award was if he retired, and that’s what he did. On Sunday the Tigers had Magglio Ordonez Day and everyone was respectful and cheering and some of the Yankees took part in the pregame ceremony by sitting in the dugout and acknowledging the career. I watched the game from the couch and booed as if Ordonez was 50 feet from me in right field.

I have yet to find a Yankees fan that was sad to see A.J. Burnett get traded to the Pittsburgh Pirates, but I’m pretty sure Jose Bautista wasn’t happy about Burnett’s departure from the AL East.

I don’t like Bautista because of what he does against the Yankees and what he does to any wager I place for or against the Blue Jays. If the Blue Jays are somehow in the race for the division down the stretch, I will have no choice but to bet on them every game to ensure that Jose Bautista does absolutely nothing.

SP – Josh Beckett (2011 – Josh Beckett, 2010 – Josh Beckett)
There’s no one who will ever take this award from Josh Beckett. If Jered Weaver drilled Derek Jeter and forced him to miss a significant amount of time he still wouldn’t be in the conversation even when you combine such a terrible act with his relation to Jeff Weaver. Now if Jered Weaver injured Jeter for a lengthy period of time and then upon Jeter’s return he injured him again for another lengthy period of time, then maybe we can talk about replacing Josh Beckett here.

The thing that takes the fun out of Beckett being my No. 1 Most Hated Athlete To Look At (which is completely separate from being on the All-Animosity Team) is that the city he plays for hates him. The same city he won a World Series for in 2007. Red Sox fans obviously want him to pitch well so the team wins when he starts, but at the same time they aren’t upset when he loses. It’s a beautiful thing.

CL – Jose Valverde (2011 – Jonathan Papelbon, 2010 – Jonathan Papelbon)
Goodbye, Jonathan Papelbon. It was fun (not really). Now it’s time to say “Hello” to Jose Valverde.

I don’t know if I will ever get over the fact that the Yankees faced him three times in the ALDS and didn’t get him to blow any of the three games. This ultimately led to the Yankees’ demise, well this along with the heart of the order’s inability to hit with runners in scoring position and failure to get the big hit, and CC Sabathia coming up short twice and Joe Girardi using Luis Ayala more than David Robertson.

There can’t be any fan base that likes Valverde aside from Tigers fans. There just can’t be. No one wants to see Valverde succeed with the amount of time he takes between pitches and his version of the Electric Slide that he does after successfully converting a save. But maybe other fan bases don’t hate him as much as Yankees fans because we’re used to seeing Mariano Rivera walk toward home plate and shake the catcher’s hand after a save rather than moonwalk across the mound or dance like your wild uncle at a wedding who hung out at the bar for the first three hours and is hearing “Call Me Maybe” for the first time.

Valverde’s perfect season of going 49-for-49 in save opportunities was hard to watch, but I’m glad he has come back to his old self in 2012 with a 4.64 ERA and 1.594 WHIP.

Manager – Bobby Valentine (2011 – Mike Scioscia, 2010 – Joe Maddon)
Did any other manager have a chance? In a league that boasts hipster Joe Maddon, the genius Mike Scioscia and Fidel Castro supporter Ozzie Guillen, it’s Bobby Valentine who stands alone.

Whether it’s Bobby V taking shots at the Yankees during spring training or having stories written about him building a fence in the offseason (I helped my dad build a deck last summer and no one wrote a story about me), or doing weekly spots on 1050 ESPN Radio in New York, or calling out Kevin Youkilis for really no reason or supporting Josh Beckett playing golf after missing a start due to a back problem, there’s always a reason to dislike Bobby.

I just want to take this time to thank the Red Sox ownership group for not letting their new general manager do his job and for going over his head and making Bobby Valentine their manager. Thank you.

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