NFL Week 9 Picks

Peyton Manning and Tom Brady

I can’t believe we are in Week 9 of the season. Let’s recap the first eight weeks.

Week 1: 8-8-0
Week 2: 4-12-0
Week 3: 9-7-0
Week 4: 6-6-1
Week 5: 10-5-0
Week 6: 6-9-0
Week 7: 8-7-0
Week 8: 8-7-0

That’s four winning weeks, two losing weeks and two .500 weeks. The only problem is that one 4-12-0 losing week in Week 2 has been too deep of a hole to climb out of so far. Thankfully, there are still nine regular-season weeks and four weeks of playoffs to pick.

With a busy week and some travel, I decided to use lines I previously wrote this season to help pick week’s game. I consider it the equivalent of Mark Teixeira needing a day off because his legs are tired from being on base or Mark Teixeira not playing because of light-headedness or Mark Teixeira not playing because of his rib cage or Mark Teixeira not playing not playing because he hurt his pinky sliding into home. If only how we are paid for our services could be equivalent.

(Home team in caps)

CAROLINA +2.5 over New Orleans
When you take the Saints out of the Superdome, they lose.

CLEVELAND -7 over Tampa Bay
The Tampa Bay bandwagon has been pulled out of service like the New York subway cars with bed bugs.

Arizona -1 over DALLAS
With just two teams between the Giants, Cowboys and Eagles going to the postseason this year, if the Giants are going to make it, they are going to need the Cowboys to start being on the other end of close games.

HOUSTON +2.5 over Philadelphia
Is there any doubt that the Week 17 Giants-Eagles game will decided a playoff spot in the NFC? OK, maybe that sentence would have been better suited to be written in 2008 or 2009 or 2010, but if I’m going to keep the Giants’ playoff hopes alive that means they are going to need the Eagles to start losing.

KANSAS CITY -9.5 over New York Jets
The Jets are currently tied with the Jaguars for the second-worst record in the league and they still have Buffalo twice, Miami twice, New England, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Minnesota and Tennessee on the schedule. I’m thinking the Jets finish at 4-12.

CINCINNATI -10.5 over Jacksonville
The Bengals are becoming the AFC Saints and Paul Brown Stadium is becoming the Superdome.

San Diego +1.5 over MIAMI
I want to believe in the Dolphins because a good Dolphins team means a better chance the Patriots or Jets don’t win the AFC East.

MINNESOTA +1 over Washington
If the Vikings had entered the season with Bridgewater as their starter and utilized Cordarrelle Patterson better through the first seven weeks and Adrian Peterson hadn’t put his life in its current position then who knows where the Vikings might be with their offensive weapons and their strong defense?

SAN FRANCISCO -10 over St. Louis
I just hope the Rams aren’t saving their NFC East wins for when they play the Giants in Week 16, which would totally eff up the Giants’ postseason chances and end up being the icing on the cake in the latest Tom Coughlin era second-half collapse.

Denver -3.5 over NEW ENGLAND
Peyton Manning lives for these games. (That was the best I could find even though Peyton doesn’t play well in these games since I haven’t said anything good about New England this season.)

SEATTLE -13.5 over Oakland
The road team on Thursday Night Football has the worst disadvantage of any team in the league other than the Raiders in any game they play.

PITTSBURGH -1.5 over Baltimore
So why am I picking them? Because that’s how badly I want the Ravens to lose.

NEW YORK GIANTS +3.5 over Indianapolis
This is for the season.

Last Week: 8-7-0
Season: 59-61-1