NFL – Page 6 – Keefe To The City

Dec 29, 2014

The Rex Ryan Love-Hate Relationship

I’m not a Jets fan, but I ended up being a Rex Ryan fan and his New York departure needs a proper goodbye.

I got my wish: Tom Coughlin will be the Giants’ head coach in 2015. I think the final few weeks of the season showed that the Giants’ 6-10 season was more of a product of leading the league with players on injured reserve rather than Coughlin losing the ability to coach overnight. Even without a postseason appearance since 2011 and a postseason game since Super Bowl XLVI, Coughlin still has that and XLII on his resume and that should be enough to keep him around until he decides he longer wants to be. And with Ben McAdoo assisting in the best offensive season of Eli Manning’s career and an Odell Beckham Jr.-Victor Cruz receiving tandem next year, the Giants could be back to where they were three years ago at this time. Unfortunately, if you’re a Jets fan, the future isn’t as bright.

The team that tried to become the King of the City in 2009 and 2010 with back-to-back AFC Championship Game appearances fired the man who got them there. Rex Ryan coached his final game as head coach of the Jets and general manager John Idzik watched his final game as the head of the front office on Sunday. Ryan was doomed from the start of the season when Idzik made him make Geno Smith the starting quarterback and when he decided to not spend $20 million that he’ll never get to spend. And Idzik was doomed from the second he went to the podium for the “We Suck, But We’re Trying Hard” press conference that will likely serve as the reason he is never leading a front office again.

I have written a lot of words about Rex Ryan since he became the head coach of the Jets and flip-flopped on whether I liked him or not more times than I have with Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. He came to New York as a fat, loud-mouthed defensive coordinator, who called out Bill Belichick in his first days, eliminated his own team from the postseason before a run to the 2009 AFC Championship Game, gave us a memorable season Hard Knocks in the summer of 2010, embarrassed the Patriots at Gillette Stadium in the 2010 divisional round and then came a stop on third-and-6 away from having a chance to win 2010 AFC Championship Game. He leaves New York as a slimmed-down quieter version of himself, who hasn’t seen the playoffs since that 2010 AFC Championship Game and is 26-38 over the last four years.

After going back and forth on Rex Ryan’s personality and abilities, I settled on liking the outspoken Rex, who didn’t want his team to settle for being a “slapd-ck team” and just wanted to eat a snack. The Jets might always be “the same old Jets” but even for a Giants fan like myself, who enjoys watching a good Jets loss, Rex gave outsiders a reason to watch for a few years and a reason to root for his Jets, like I did for that Jets-Patriots divisional game back in January 2011. So in honor, of Rex Ryan, I went back and found five things I wrote about him from August 2010 through January 2011 to look at his best season as Jets head coach.

Rise of the Jets – Aug. 12, 2010
There are going to be a lot of people that watch Hard Knocks simply to see what Rex Ryan is like outside of his comedic press conferences and aside from his extravagant Daily News and Post headlines. After watching Rex freely make fun of his in-laws in the opening minutes of the show, you just knew he was going to make the most of this opportunity to have a camera and censor-free microphone in front of him for training camp.

In the show, Rex Ryan appears to be an actor rather than an amusing and overweight NFL coach. Some of his lines and actions seem a little over the top and rehearsed, the same way that the cast of the Jersey Shore now plays up their personas to fulfill the roles of the celebrities they have become rather than be themselves like they were in the first season when the show gained popularity. (Don’t get me wrong, I will continue to watch Jersey Shore no matter how fake the cast becomes, just like I would watch Hard Knocks even if Rex Ryan were reading off cue cards.)

I think the pre-camp meeting was the best example of Rex being a head coach that knows there is a camera recording him. Rex made it clear that he wants his team to lead the league in the wins, but it was almost as if he was trying force every last swear word he could into this scene, so that fans would come away from Hard Knocks and say, “Wow, Rex Ryan is a badass.” But if you take away Ryan’s HBO vocabulary from that meeting, it definitely wouldn’t have passed through the final cut. A power point presentation on Day 1 of camp for NFL players? What player would pay attention to that? It was almost as if someone recorded the first day of class from each semester of college when the professor would just stand there and read the syllabus word for word before you letting you go early. Not exactly captivating TV without Rex trying to break the South Park movie’s record for most swears in one scene.

Rex has reached a point in my life that not many other people can achieve: the point where I could watch Rex Ryan do just about anything. It’s such an elite club that I can’t even think of another person on this list. Whether it’s trying to drop 37 F-bombs before taking a breath, wearing Chuck Taylor shoes given his body type, eating a lunch big enough for a family of four at Cafe Ryan, throwing footballs, punting footballs or just standing around making small talk, there isn’t anything Rex Ryan can’t do that wouldn’t be compelling. I only wish Tom Coughlin could be half as likeable as Rex Ryan.

Rex will never have trouble finding a job in the football world, which is disappointing, because the man could carry his own reality show. And like a lot of other people, I would watch every second of it.

A Reality Check – Dec. 7, 2010
I didn’t like Rex Ryan at first, then he grew on me and I even wished Tom Coughlin was a little like him when I said, “I only wish Tom Coughlin could be half as likeable as Rex Ryan.” Actually I wish Tom Coughlin could be half as likable as anyone, but I was wrong to think that Coughlin should change his ways to be more like Ryan. After my 180 on Rex, I have done other 180, and now a complete 360 and I am back to my initial stance of not being a fan of Rex Ryan anymore.

There are few, if any, press conferences in sports as entertaining as Rex Ryan’s, but even those are getting old. In two seasons, Rex Ryan has become what The Office has become for me over seven seasons — a show that I was skeptical about at first, and then grew to love before becoming skeptical again.

One day Rex is saying that the Jets are the team to beat and the next he is saying that he knew the AFC East would run through New England. I understand that you have to take a grain of salt with whatever Rex says, but it’s become ridiculous. He wants to come off as this cocky, arrogant and pompous winner when the Jets are winning close games against barely competent teams. And after losses, he becomes an apologetic, sincere and humble the next. It’s an odd act that has made him a favorite of Jets fan, but an immature and unprepared clown to outsiders.

Tom Coughlin might not have a comedic personality or a limit to the amount of snacks he can eat in a day or a twin brother that looks like Sean Connery’s character John Mason at the beginning of The Rock, but he has beaten Bill Belichick in a big game (the biggest of games), and at least with Tom Coughlin you know what you’re getting, whether you like it or not. Oddly enough, I’m thankful that Tom Coughlin is the way he is.

Year in Review, Part 1 – Dec. 29, 2010
I’m not sure who Rex Ryan wants to be. One day he wants to be an NFL coach and the next day he wants to be friends with the players and a class clown with the media. So far his team has underachieved by the standards he set in Hard Knocks (leading the league in wins), but you would never know that from the way he conducts himself.

I was still on the fence about whether or not I liked Rex Ryan and then on Sunday when he was giving his press conference and found out in the middle of it that the Jets made the playoffs because the Jaguars lost, and he started acting like the Jets had decided their own fate with a convincing win, well it was then that I finally decided Rex isn’t for me.

I don’t agree with everything that Bill Belichick does or how he handles the media, but I get why he acts that way, and at least he is consistent. He gave this interview outside the locker room after losing to the Giants in Super Bowl XLII, and had the Patriots won, his postgame interview probably would have been very similar.

Call him smug, or arrogant or pompous, but call him consistent. That is all I ask of Rex. Be consistent. Find a personality and stick with it. Either be an authority figure or a coach that is buddy-buddy with the players. Don’t try to be both because you can’t be both.

A Giants Fan for Jets – Jan. 14, 2011
I once saw Dave Attell do stand-up and the show started at midnight, and Dave had already done two shows that night. Saying he was drunk would be like saying Marisa Miller is good looking. But as the show went on and on and a waiter kept delivering drinks to Dave, the show only got better and better. I’m sure the people at the 8:00 show got a good show, but it was definitely not as good as the people who went to the 10:00 show, and their show definitely was not as good the show that I saw at midnight. This is what’s happening with Rex Ryan.

Rex started off talking trash on the first episode of Hard Knocks, it got better once the regular season started and then once the Jets began to play important games. Then the playoffs started and he began to call out anyone that walked by him leading up to this game where he has used material on Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. Just think about some of the crazy things that have come out of Rex’s mouth and then think about this: he has NEVER been the head coach for a team in the Super Bowl. Imagine Rex Ryan with two weeks between the AFC Championship (if the Jets can get there) and the Super Bowl? I think only a two-week marathon of The Office or Friday Night Lights could keep me as entertained.

And the Winner Is … – Jan. 19, 2011
On Sunday night, CBS ran a piece on 60 Minutes about Billy Walters, a sports gambler in Nevada that bets hundreds of thousands of dollars on football and basketball games and won $3.5 million on the Saints in last year’s Super Bowl.

I take back anything bad I have said about Rex Ryan. He’s a hero. And I’m not joking when I say that. He’s the man.

When Rex ran into the end zone to celebrate Shonn Greene’s touchdown with the players, he won me over. For a minute I thought Rex was the one that scored the touchdown and seeing the players celebrating with him and letting him be one of the guys for that moment made you realize that when Bart Scott says he would “die for Rex Ryan” that he probably isn’t the only one on the Jets that would.

When I look at my team, the Giants, I see a team that if Tom Coughlin was fired tomorrow, the players would give remarks like, “football is a business” or “it’s not Tom’s fault” when really the majority of the team probably wouldn’t care and would likely be happy. (And Antrel Rolle verified this on Tuesday.) If Rex were fired, I could see the Jets threatening to not show up and play. That’s the vibe you get from this Jets “team” and it’s something you don’t get from the Giants.

The Jets are Rex Ryan. The entire team has bought into his trash talking system, and during Hard Knocks when he kept reiterating, “Play Like A Jet” I thought, “What is wrong with this guy?” Playing like a Jet meant not winning championships. But what Rex meant was that “Playing Like A Jet” meant “Playing Like A Jet From When I Took Over This Team.” Nothing with the Jets before Rex Ryan matters and like he said, “Same old Jets going to the AFC Championship for the second year in a row.”

NFL • Podcasts

Dec 5, 2014

Podcast: Tim Duff

We are nearing the end of Rex Ryan being the head coach of the Jets. With just four games left in the season, the man who came to New York running his mouth to the

We are nearing the end of Rex Ryan being the head coach of the Jets. With just four games left in the season, the man who came to New York running his mouth to the media and making unnecessary Super Bowl predictions is playing out his final days running the team he had a win from the Super Bowl in back-to-back seasons as the Jets limp to the finish line.

For the fourth time this season, my friend and lifelong optimistic Jets fan Tim Duff joined me to talk about how the Rex Ryan era will be remembered by Jets fans, who the next coach and quarterback should be and which teams to now root for to win the Super Bowl and he had me almost feeling bad for Jets fans as you could hear the devastation in his voice.

Blogs • Giants • NFL

Nov 13, 2014

NFL Week 11 Picks

I usually make the picture for the weekly picks of either Eli Manning or Tom Coughlin, but I couldn’t help but choose Perry Fewell looking like most people walking through McCarran International Airport in Las

I usually make the picture for the weekly picks of either Eli Manning or Tom Coughlin, but I couldn’t help but choose Perry Fewell looking like most people walking through McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas on their way to their return flight home. Fewell’s look and demeanor sum up how his defense played last week in Seattle against the run, how the Giants’ season is going and how this picks season has been going for the most part.

I’m running out of time to right the ship that has been devastated by one bad week back in Week 2 and it’s going to take the opposite of that Week 2 performance to fully recover. I have been waiting eight weeks, or basically half the season, for that week to come and it hasn’t, but it needs to.

(Home team in caps)

MIAMI -4 over Buffalo
Last week, I picked the Bengals thinking they would continue to be the Saints 2.0 with their play at Paul Brown Stadium, but that didn’t go so well. (At least I was able to salvage my pick by taking the Browns money line at +250, which is all that really matters.) But this week it’s time get back on track with the old bread and butter that is Thursday Night Football.

CLEVELAND -3.5 over Houston
Well, it looks like the Johnny Manziel era isn’t going to start soon in Cleveland and maybe it never will at this rate. I wish the Jets had taken Manziel with the 18th pick in the draft because it would have meant the Johnny Manziel NFL era would already be underway and it would have meant absolute chaos and a media circus around the Jets, which is exactly what Woody Johnson wants and craves. But if I can’t beat the Browns by picking against them in hopes of Johnny Football becoming the starting quarterback, I might as well join them.

MINNESOTA +3.5 over Chicago
I will pick any team against the Bears right now. Any team. It doesn’t matter who.

KANSAS CITY -2 over Seattle
I have no idea what to do with this game and that should mean “take the points” but I have seen what happens when Russell Wilson has to throw the ball and the Chiefs’ defense isn’t going to roll over like the Giants did a week ago.

CAROLINA -1 over Atlanta
The Falcons are 3-6 and two of their three wins came against the Buccaneers. So if the Buccaneers didn’t exist, the Falcons would be a one-win team, so they should be treated as a one-win team. The disgusting part about the one-win Falcons is that they are still not only alive but they are one game, ONE GAME, back of the Saints for the NFC South lead. I SAID ONE GAME! The NFC South has become the 2010 NFC West and there’s a chance that the South could be won by a team with possibly a .500 record at best. But it would be pretty amazing if the 7-9 Saints (or the 8-8 Saints) host the wild-card Seahawks during Wild-Card Weekend at the Superdome where no team is going to go to and win a playoff game.

As for the Panthers, what’s a more undeserving nickname in sports: James Shields as “Big Game James” or Cam Newton as “Superman”?

NEW ORLEANS -7.5 over Cincinnati
So you know that thing I always say about the Saints? This thing:

The Saints’ last home loss with Sean Payton as head coach came in Week 17 in 2010 when they had nothing to play for. Including the playoffs, with Payton as head coach, the Saints have won all of their home games since that loss and here are their margins of victory in those games: 19, 6, 11, 25, 18, 3, 32, 18, 21, 24, 6, 17, 28, 29, 14, 25, 11, 55, 7 and 17.

Well, I can’t use that anymore. But I can use a new version of it!

The Saints’ have last one home game with Sean Payton as head coach since Week 17 in 2010 when they had nothing to play for. Including the playoffs, with Payton as head coach, the Saints have all but one of their home games since that loss and here are their margins of victory in those games: 19, 6, 11, 25, 18, 3, 32, 18, 21, 24, 6, 17, 28, 29, 14, 25, 11, 55, 7 and 17.

Andy Dalton going on the road after going 10-for-33 for 86 yards and three interceptions and not just on the road, but to the Superdome of all places? The local games and the Red Zone channel might not be enough for me this weekend, knowing that this game is on, I might have to buy DirecTV just for it.

Tampa Bay +7.5 over WASHINGTON
The Redskins are 3-6. Their wins are against the Jaguars, the Titans and the Tony Romo-less Cowboys. RG III has played two games this year and the Redskins have lost both. Which of those facts could give anyone the idea that they should be favored by more than a touchdown against any team?

Denver -10.5 over ST. LOUIS
I’m sure Peyton Manning misses playing in a dome in a controlled environment where the weather is always perfect and wind is non-existent. Peyton might not be at his best when he’s at Gillette Stadium or the stage is its biggest, but he is at his best when he’s in a perfect setting.

NEW YORK GIANTS +4.5 over San Francisco
Now that the season is over (well, unless the Giants run the table … and even that might not be enough with the way the NFC is this year), I don’t have any real reason to pick the Giants.

Oakland +10.5 over SAN DIEGO
At 5-1, the Chargers were considered to possibly be the best team in the NFL, at least for a week. But since Week 6 their season has unraveled with three straight losses to the Chiefs (23-20), Broncos (35-21) and Dolphins (37-0!!!) I always, always, always take the points when the Raiders play the Chargers except when I didn’t back in Week 6 and the Chargers barely got past the winless Raiders with a 31-28 win. This time I’m going back to the basics and that is picking against Philip Rivers to cover spreads.

GREEN BAY -6.5 over Philadelphia
Mark Sanchez did to me on Monday night what I dared him to do, which is the same thing I dared Colt McCoy to do a few Monday nights ago. To my defense, I made my pick in that Cowboys-Redskins game before Tony Romo was ruled out for the game and I made my pick for the Eagles-Panthers game under the assumption that the Panthers were an average football team capable of shutting down a quarterback the Jets chose Geno Smith over. Now the entire world has seemingly forgot how bad Sanchez was with the Jets and he is suddenly a fan favorite in Philadelphia, a city that preys on the exact type of player Sanchez was with the Jets. That Mark Sanchez will show up in Green Bay.

Detroit +1 over ARIZONA
When Drew Stanton filled in for Carson Palmer in Weeks 2-4, the Cardinals knew it was temporary and he knew it was temporary. There wasn’t any pressure on a backup quarterback, who hadn’t started a game in four years, to beat the Giants or 49ers (which he did) or try to be competitive against the Broncos (which he really wasn’t). But Stanton came out of that three-game stretch at 2-1 and two years after being cut by the Jets in favor of Tim Tebow, he proved that he could not only be a viable backup in the event of another Palmer injury, but that he could win in the league. The difference now is that there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel for Stanton’s starting time. Palmer isn’t coming back this season and who knows what he will be like next year as a 35-year-old coming off a torn ACL. Stanton is now expected to win because he did in September and he’s expected to lead a 7-1 team to the playoffs and his head coach didn’t do him any favors by saying the Cardinals could win the Super Bowl with him as their quarterback. No pressure or anything, Drew.

New England +2.5 over INDIANAPOLIS
It would probably be a good idea to stop making the Patriots underdogs.

Last week: 6-7-0
Season: 69-77-1

Blogs • Giants • NFL

Nov 6, 2014

NFL Week 10 Picks

I’m thinking of going to a comedy show in New York on Sunday night, which would force me to miss the end of the Giants-Seahawks game. So I have to make the decision between moving

I’m thinking of going to a comedy show in New York on Sunday night, which would force me to miss the end of the Giants-Seahawks game. So I have to make the decision between moving from the couch on a football Sunday, going out, paying for a round-trip cab, admission to the show and food and drinks or staying on the couch and finish watching a three-hour free comedy show live from Seattle on FOX. As much of a joke the Giants-Seahawks game will likely and how many laughs it should produce for non-Giants fans, I think it’s a better idea to get out out of the apartment just as the Seahawks backups finish off the Giants as the Giants finally start to throw the ball for the majority of their plays once the game is out of reach.

Speaking of comedy, this week on his Monday Morning Podcast, Bill Burr said, “If you bet on football this year, you’re out of your mind. At this point you should just cut your losses and go home.” I wish I could, Bill. I wish I could go. But there are still eight weeks of the regular season to pick and then the playoffs.

(Home team in caps)

CINCINNATI -6.5 over Cleveland
The Bengals have done their transformation to become the AFC Saints in that the Paul Brown Stadium Bengals are a much different team than the Outside the Paul Brown Stadium Bengals are. The Bengals are 4-0-1 at home this year and 1-2 on the road after going 8-0 at home and 3-5 on the road last year. This season, the Bengals’ average home score is a 30.8-20.2 win and their average road score is a 28.7-13.3 loss. That’s good news if the Bengals can win the NFC North and play their first playoff game at home. The problem is the Bengals is five or their last seven games are on the road.

Miami +3 over DETROIT
It’s never a good idea to buy into the Miami Dolphins. You would be better off buying into a start-up newspaper in 2014 than the Dolphins given their history of strong starts and late-season collapses, but the problem with this game is the Lions are the Dolphins of the NFC. So I can either buy into the start-up newspaper in 2014 (Dolphins) or pay for an AOL account in 2014 (Lions). That’s why I’m taking the points.

Buffalo +2.5 over KANSAS CITY
If the Giants aren’t going to do anything this year, which they’re not, then I might as well be an honorary Bills fan for the rest of the season. I can’t get behind the Browns because them winning means Johnny Manziel’s career will only be delayed longer and I can’t get behind the Chiefs because of Alex Smith even though it would make me happy to know that the city of Philadelphia and Eagles fans would have to watch Andy Reid win the Super Bowl. Aside from the Bills, those are the other long-suffering franchises that look like postseason contenders that I don’t have any direct hatred against, but how could I not pull for the Bills and Kyle “David Grohl” Orton to go on a run with the Bills?

San Francisco +5 over NEW ORLEANS
The Saints are going to win this game. That’s a fact. How do I know this? Let me say it again:

The Saints’ last home loss with Sean Payton as head coach came in Week 17 in 2010 when they had nothing to play for. Including the playoffs, with Payton as head coach, the Saints have won all of their home games since that loss and here are their margins of victory in those games: 19, 6, 11, 25, 18, 3, 32, 18, 21, 24, 6, 17, 28, 29, 14, 25, 11, 55, 7 and 17.

BALTIMORE -10 over Tennessee
I have done everything I can to continuously pick against the Ravens, but there are times when you have to see the difference between right and wrong and smart and dumb. And taking Tennessee, even to cover a double-digit spread, is dumb though I’m sure every sharp in Vegas would disagree given the state of the NFL.

Pittsburgh -6.5 over NEW YORK JETS
The Jets have lost eight straight games. They have fans wasting money on planes to fly over practice and promote John Idzik’s firing while other fans are wasting their money to use a billboard outside MetLife to promote the same cause. Michael Vick, who clearly wants no part of actually playing football anymore and would rather just hang out on the sidelines and collect a paycheck (who can blame him?) is starting over the most recent Jets franchise quarterback. And their head coach continues to say he sees good things each week even though the team’s only win came in Week 1 over the still-winless Raiders.

The Steelers were 3-3 and coming off a 21-point loss to the Browns before winning three straight games and saving their season and putting themselves in prime position to return to the playoffs. They have scored 94 points in the last two weeks against two contenders in the Colts and Ravens and Ben Roethlisberger threw for 862 yards and 12 touchdowns without an interception in those two games. And they have possibly the best receiver in the league in Antonio Brown ready to face the worst secondary imaginable.

So what does all of this mean? It means that this game will likely be decided by a field goal because the NFL is insane. But it also means it’s no time to be backing the Jets and asking them to cover anything less than a touchdown.

Tampa Bay +2 over ATLANTA
Somewhere someone who isn’t a Buccaneers fan or a Falcons fan is going to bet on this game and watch it in its entirety. Think about that.

Denver -12.5 over OAKLAND
I don’t want to say Peyton Manning is a fraud, so I will let other people say it for me. But the best regular-season quarterback in history went into Gillette Stadium and got embarrassed once again last week. Sure, he put up 429 yards and got his numbers in before it was over, but his team lost by 22 points in a game that could be the difference in a trip to the Super Bowl and an AFC Championship Game loss because of home-field advantage. I picked the Broncos last week because I didn’t want to back the Patriots even though I envisioned the game that played out playing out because it has so many times Peyton has gone to New England. Let’s hope that performance doesn’t mean a Super Bowl appearance for the Patriots because then I’m done with Peyton.

ARIZONA -7.5 over St. Louis
The Arizona Cardinals are the best team in football.

The Arizona Cardinals are the best team in football?

I wrote that sentence out with both a period and a question mark because after I wrote it the first time, I read it back to myself like Ron Burgundy reading a line on the prompter incorrectly because of a misplaced question mark at the end of it. Are the Cardinals the best team in football? Their record says they are at 7-1, leading the NFC West that was supposed to be for Seattle or San Francisco to win. I’m happy for the Cardinals after missing the playoffs last year despite a 10-win season while the Packers played a first-round home game at 8-7-1 for winning the NFC North, but I’m not sure a team with Carson Palmer as their quarterback can ever be considered the best team in the league at any time even if their record says they are.

New York Giants +9.5 over SEATTLE
The Giants’ offense currently consists of a first-round pick wide receiver who has played four career games, two wide receivers who can’t catch, a tight end who played quarterback in college, a tight end who was out of football in 2013, a rookie running back and a running back who thought his NFL career was over a little over a year ago. The absolute worst place for a team with that offensive personnel to go is Seattle, so if you’re thinking of sitting back at 4:25 on Sunday and watching the Giants, you might want to make other plans for around 5:00. I think I’m going to.

GREEN BAY -7.5 over Chicago
The last time the Bears won in Green Bay was Oct. 7, 2007 in Week 5. It was Brian Griese playing for a benched Rex Grossman against Brett Favre. The Bears have cost me picks and actual money so many times this season that I will be pulling for a Packers blowout on Sunday night as if it were the Giants playing in the Super Bowl.

Carolina +6 over PHILADELPHIA
The Panthers aren’t good. But you’re asking me to pick Mark Sanchez to win a game he starts by a touchdown.

Last Week: 4-9-0
Season: 63-70-1

Blogs • Giants • NFL

Oct 30, 2014

NFL Week 9 Picks

I can’t believe we are in Week 9 of the season. Let’s recap the first eight weeks. Week 1: 8-8-0 Week 2: 4-12-0 Week 3: 9-7-0 Week 4: 6-6-1 Week 5: 10-5-0 Week 6: 6-9-0

I can’t believe we are in Week 9 of the season. Let’s recap the first eight weeks.

Week 1: 8-8-0
Week 2: 4-12-0
Week 3: 9-7-0
Week 4: 6-6-1
Week 5: 10-5-0
Week 6: 6-9-0
Week 7: 8-7-0
Week 8: 8-7-0

That’s four winning weeks, two losing weeks and two .500 weeks. The only problem is that one 4-12-0 losing week in Week 2 has been too deep of a hole to climb out of so far. Thankfully, there are still nine regular-season weeks and four weeks of playoffs to pick.

With a busy week and some travel, I decided to use lines I previously wrote this season to help pick week’s game. I consider it the equivalent of Mark Teixeira needing a day off because his legs are tired from being on base or Mark Teixeira not playing because of light-headedness or Mark Teixeira not playing because of his rib cage or Mark Teixeira not playing not playing because he hurt his pinky sliding into home. If only how we are paid for our services could be equivalent.

(Home team in caps)

CAROLINA +2.5 over New Orleans
When you take the Saints out of the Superdome, they lose.

CLEVELAND -7 over Tampa Bay
The Tampa Bay bandwagon has been pulled out of service like the New York subway cars with bed bugs.

Arizona -1 over DALLAS
With just two teams between the Giants, Cowboys and Eagles going to the postseason this year, if the Giants are going to make it, they are going to need the Cowboys to start being on the other end of close games.

HOUSTON +2.5 over Philadelphia
Is there any doubt that the Week 17 Giants-Eagles game will decided a playoff spot in the NFC? OK, maybe that sentence would have been better suited to be written in 2008 or 2009 or 2010, but if I’m going to keep the Giants’ playoff hopes alive that means they are going to need the Eagles to start losing.

KANSAS CITY -9.5 over New York Jets
The Jets are currently tied with the Jaguars for the second-worst record in the league and they still have Buffalo twice, Miami twice, New England, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Minnesota and Tennessee on the schedule. I’m thinking the Jets finish at 4-12.

CINCINNATI -10.5 over Jacksonville
The Bengals are becoming the AFC Saints and Paul Brown Stadium is becoming the Superdome.

San Diego +1.5 over MIAMI
I want to believe in the Dolphins because a good Dolphins team means a better chance the Patriots or Jets don’t win the AFC East.

MINNESOTA +1 over Washington
If the Vikings had entered the season with Bridgewater as their starter and utilized Cordarrelle Patterson better through the first seven weeks and Adrian Peterson hadn’t put his life in its current position then who knows where the Vikings might be with their offensive weapons and their strong defense?

SAN FRANCISCO -10 over St. Louis
I just hope the Rams aren’t saving their NFC East wins for when they play the Giants in Week 16, which would totally eff up the Giants’ postseason chances and end up being the icing on the cake in the latest Tom Coughlin era second-half collapse.

Denver -3.5 over NEW ENGLAND
Peyton Manning lives for these games. (That was the best I could find even though Peyton doesn’t play well in these games since I haven’t said anything good about New England this season.)

SEATTLE -13.5 over Oakland
The road team on Thursday Night Football has the worst disadvantage of any team in the league other than the Raiders in any game they play.

PITTSBURGH -1.5 over Baltimore
So why am I picking them? Because that’s how badly I want the Ravens to lose.

NEW YORK GIANTS +3.5 over Indianapolis
This is for the season.

Last Week: 8-7-0
Season: 59-61-1