Everyone knows that Steiner Sports will sell everything and anything they can. Whether it’s Yankee Stadium dirt, a piece of gum chewed during the seventh inning of a home game by Andy Pettitte, a cardboard box that Bernie Williams’ bats were delivered in or a toenail that Derek Jeter clipped in the Yankees clubhouse during his final season, they will stop at nothing to try obtain and sell memorabilia, which you would think no one would actually buy.

On Wednesday, Steiner Sports tweeted the following:

If this tweet gets 80 RTs we will release a code to buy this @teixeiramark25 signed baseball for $80! (reg $199.99) pic.twitter.com/AB0e8taqyQ

— Steiner Sports (@steinersports) March 25, 2015

I wasn’t sure if it was more ridiculous that Steiner Sports thought 80 people might want a Mark Teixeira-signed baseball enough to retweet it, that Steiner Sports thinks that $80 for a Mark Teixeira-signed baseball is a good deal or that Steiner Sports normally sells Mark Teixeira-signed baseballs for $199.99. But what I did know was that it was the best unintentionally funny tweet of all time.

If Steiner Sports could sell a Mark Teixeira-signed baseball for $199.99, what else could they sell at insane prices and think that people might want to buy? Well, I went to the Steiner Sports site to find out, and it only got worse.

Vidal Nuno spent parts of two seasons (2013 and 2014) with the Yankees trying to get through five innings before he was traded to the Diamondbacks for Brandon McCarthy in what will go down as an all-time low-risk, high-reward trade for the Yankees that panned out. Now you can remember Vidal Nuno’s 25-pitch innings with this 2014 Opening Day Game-Used Locker Room Nameplate for just $39.99, which is 75 percent off the valued price of $160.00!

Hey, remember when Brian Cashman decided to let reigning World Series MVP Hideki Matsui walk in free agency because he wanted to sign Nick Johnson for a second go-around? Matsui signed with the Angels for one year and $6 million and the Yankees got Johnson for one year and $5.5 million. Matsui played in 145 games for the Angels and hit .274/.361/.459 with 21 home runs and 84 home runs. Johnson played in 24 games for the Yankees and hit .167/.388/.306 with two home runs and eight RBIs. Now you can commemorate Cashman’s decision to try and justify Johnson as a baseball player by replacing Matusi with him with this Nick Johnson Certified Authentic Dirt Collage for just $69.99!

David Adams has played 43 games in the majors, all coming with the 2013 Yankees, and hit .193/.252/.286. Adams is best known for being the reason the July 2010 trade with the Mariners for Cliff Lee fell through because of his ankle injury and instead of the Yankees acquiring Cliff Lee, the Rangers did, and Lee shut out the Yankees in Game 3 of the 2010 ALCS to swing the series. Never forget the trade that fell through and cost the Yankees a trip to the 2010 World Series by purchasing this David Adams Autographed MLB Baseball for $89.99!

The last memory of Nick Swisher as a Yankee is him turning on the Bleacher Creatures and going 5-for-30 (.167) with 10 strikeouts in the 2012 postseason. You can be reminded of Swisher’s time in New York by adding this Nick Swisher Action Photo to your collection for the cheap price of $99.99!

After the 2007 season, Brian Cashman traded 21-year-old starter Tyler Clippard to the Nationals for 25-year-old reliever Jonathan Albaladejo. Clippard went on to become one of the elite relievers in the league with 2.68 ERA and 530 strikeouts in 464 innings in seven years with the Nationals. Albaladejo pitched 59 1/3 innings with a 1.601 WHIP over three seasons with the Yankees before signing with the Yomiuri Giants in Japan after the 2010 season. You can feel exactly the way Albaldejo did when he was pitching to contact if you buy this Jonathan Albaldejo 2008 Game-Used Home Batting Practice Jersey on sale for only $119.99!

Between 2009 and 2010, Sergio Mitre appeared in 39 games (12 starts) for the Yankees and pitched to a 5.03 ERA. The Yankees traded him to the Brewers at the end of spring training in 2011 and purchased his contract from the Brewers on June 29 to bring him back for four more appearances. Mitre did get into three of the six games against the Rangers in the 2010 ALCS because Joe Girardi always makes sure to get everyone into games in the playoffs and posted this memorable line: 2.2 IP, 3 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 1 K, 2 HR. Cherish every one of Mitre’s 42 apperances with the Yankees with this Sergio Mitre 2011 Team Issued Hat for $135.00!
Want to relive the 2013 season? Have all of your stuff smell like Travis Hafner, hit .202 and land on the disabled list just like the former 82-game Yankee by bringing home this Travis Hafner 2013 Game-Used Equipment Bag for $260.00!

Most of the players I have used here were members of the Everybody Gets to Be a Yankee Once Team and those who didn’t make it were just barely left off of it. It was difficult to not pick Kelly Johnson to be on the team after he gave us 77 games and 227 miserable plate appearances in 2014 before being traded to the Red Sox for Stephen Drew and then ending up in the postseason with the Orioles. I’m not sure if I dislike Johnson more for how poorly he hit as a Yankee or for bringing Drew to the Yankees. But with this 6/23/14 Game-Used Lineup Card, you can always be reminded of Kelly Johnson’s 200th career double for $360.00!I’m pretty sure I have written more about A.J. Burnett than any other person in my life. He gave me three roller-coaster seasons with the Yankees and was only traded once the Yankees were willing to pay him to pitch for the Pirates. But now you can look back on his three tumultuous seasons and his five-year, $82.5 million contract with this A.J. Burnett Autographed Replica Jersey for $384.99!Stephen Drew is going to be the 2015 Opening Day second baseman for the Yankees, but at some point he will be designated for assignment. Why wouldn’t the Yankees just go into the season with either Rob Refsnyder or Jose Pirela as their second baseman instead of wasting $5 million on Drew ($5 million that could have been used to better their chances at winning the bid for Yoan Moncada)? I guess the answer is that the same person making that decision also once signed Nick Johnson instead of Hideki Matsui. Before Drew’s inevitable release, cherish his 2015 spring training, in which he’s hitting .167, and make sure you purchase this Stephen Drew 2015 Spring Training Opening Day Game-Used Jersey for $449.99!

I try to forget that the 2013 season happened and that after Robinson Cano, Lyle Overbay was the Yankees’ next best hitter. Yes, the Yankees second-best hitter in 2013 hit .240/.295/.393 with 14 home runs and 59 RBIs. Go on an all-inclusive vacation with airfare, hotel, food and drinks in a tropical place or buy this Lyle Overbay Game-Used Batting Helmet for $1,010.00!