Blogs – Page 193 – Keefe To The City

Sep 11, 2014

NFL Week 2 Picks

The Giants face an “almost must-win game” in Week 2 against the Cardinals, but they aren’t the only team in that position this week.

Week 2 is dangerous. The only thing you know about every team in the league is one game of information and there’s a good chance that what you learned about each team in 60 minutes of football isn’t an accurate assessment of who that team really is or is going to be. Unless that team is the New York Football Giants.

Every concern, issue, problem, question mark and unknown raised about the 2014 Giants in the offseason and preseason was on display in their 21-points loss to the Lions and troubling part is that they aren’t going to be fixed anytime soon. I highly doubt that after months of trying to learn the new offense that they are all of a sudden going to have learned it and be magically clicking less than six full days after there was reason to celebrate when they would run a play successfully or when a receiver would catch a pass for positive yards.

Here is how I started my 2013 Weeks 2 Picks (and also apparently the way I started my 2012 Week 2 Picks):

Can you have a must-win game in Week 2? Yes, you can because the Giants do.

(I opened my 2012 NFL Week 2 Picks with that same question. I’m hoping I won’t have to use it in 2014.)

And like in The Departed when Mr. French tells Billy after fighting the cranberry-juice ordering guy (he is actually listed as Well-Dressed Scumbag At Bar in the script I used to find the exact quote), “That’s not quite a guy you can’t hit, but it’s almost a guy you cant hit,” the Giants’ Week 2 game against the Cardinals isn’t quite a must-win game, but it’s almost a must-win game. But the Giants aren’t alone in playing an “almost must-win game” in Week 2. So let’s get to the Week 2 picks.

(Home team in caps)

Pittsburgh +2.5 over BALTIMORE
It’s a good thing that with all the negative PR surrounding the NFL this week that they have an actual game with Thursday Night Football for people to talk about and get their attention back on the field. Wait, what’s that? Oh the team playing in and hosting the Thursday game is the team at the center of the league’s problems? That’s some unfortunate timing for Roger Goodell and the NFL.

When it comes to Ravens-Steelers, it’s usually easy to figure out what to do, so I will just add to what I always say before every Ravens-Steelers game.

In 2013, the Steelers won 19-16 and the Ravens won 22-20. In 2012, the Ravens won 13-10 and the Steelers won 23-20. In 2011, the Ravens won 35-7 and 23-20. In 2010, the Ravens won 17-14 and the Steelers won 13-10. In 2009, the Ravens won 20-17 in overtime and the Steelers won 23-20. In 2008, the Steelers won 23-20 in overtime and 13-9.

That’s 12 games with 10 of them being decided by three points, one being decided by four points and one being decided by 28 (the Steelers had seven turnovers, yes seven turnovers, in that loss). Forget picking the Ravens to cover, is there a prop bet that this game will be won by exactly three points?

This game will be decided by three points. And when you know that, how can you not take the points?

Detroit +2.5 over CAROLINA
The Lions’ 35-14 win over the Giants could have probably been 56-0 if the Lions didn’t play Lions football and have several brain farts and commit stupid penalties along the way. But even though there’s a new coaching regime in Detroit, the Lions proved on Monday night that they are still the same old Lions and at any moment they will shoot themselves in the foot and turn a sure-thing into a close thing.

Miami -1 over BUFFALO
The Bills upset the Bears on the road as seven-point underdogs in Week 1, put a massive dent into every survivor pool in the world and were sold to Terry Pegula, the owner of the Sabres, who is obviously going to keep the team in Buffalo. This week has been the best week for Bills fans in over 20 years, but as a franchise and a fan base, good times can’t be sustained in Buffalo.

The Dolphins cost me my New England -5 pick last week, but if I have to take a loss on a pick, I’m happy to take one if it means a loss for the Patriots. Prior to the start of Week 1, you would have thought it was 2004 with the way the Patriots were being picked to win the Super Bowl this year. But after the Dolphins exposed the Patriots’ offensive line as possibly worse than the Giants’ offensive line, and picked apart the Patriots’ so-called revamped defense, it doesn’t seem like the glory days are returning to New England with their personnel.

Jacksonville +5.5 over WASHINGTON
Somewhere someone who isn’t a Jaguars fan or a Redskins fan is going to bet on this game and watch it in its entirety. Think about that.

TENNESSEE -3.5 over Dallas
After the 1:00 games ended on Sunday and my parlays and teasers had been destroyed and the Yankees had lost their second game in three days in which they didn’t allow an earned run, Tony Romo stepped in to save my Sunday with a season-opening three-interception game.

When I picked San Francisco -5 over Dallas last week, I said:

If you saw the Cowboys roster and it was listed as the roster for “Team X” and Team X didn’t happen to be a national team with a heavy gambling presence, this line would be a lot higher than 5 for one of the NFL’s elite teams on the road against a team that’s headed for a six- or seven-win season.

Now take that and apply it to this week. If Vegas thinks that the Cowboys as the most nationally-followed team with the biggest fan base and most money wagered on their games are 3.5-points underdogs in Tennessee, what are the Cowboys really supposed to be?

NEW YORK GIANTS +2.5 over Arizona
If I could believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and that the 2014 Yankees can win 16 of their 19 remaining games and make the playoffs, then I can talk myself into believing that the Giants’ offense, which looked like 11 guys who met five minutes before the game on Monday night, can turn it around for Week 2.

OK, I understand that the Giants’ offense is likely going to be a disaster again this week and that it’s a “work in progress” and that there really isn’t a home-field advantage at MetLife and if anything the Giants play worse at home, but the Giants need to win this game. And as long as Carson Palmer is the opposing quarterback, it might not matter that the Giants’ receivers seem to know the new offense as well as I know how to cook chicken or … well … anything.

MINNESOTA +3.5 over New England
My girlfriend is a Vikings fan and all week I have let her know the important position her team is in. I’m not talking about the Vikings going 2-0 and being at least tied for first place in the NFC North through Week 2. I’m talking about the chance to drop the Patriots to 0-2, a place they haven’t been since 2001 (they actually started that season 1-3, but did win the Super Bowl), put Boston into a state of panic after the city was without a baseball season this summer and put the bet every overconfident Patriots fan made on the Patriots having over 11 wins this seasons on life alert.

If Knowshon Moreno could tear up the Patriots for 134 yards on 24 carries (5.6 yards per carry), what is Adrian Peterson capable of against that defense? I’m getting a little too happy thinking about it.

New Orleans -6.5 over CLEVELAND
I never, ever, ever, ever pick or trust the Saints on the road. The Outside the Superdome Saints can’t be trusted. But there is one circumstance when they can be. That circumstance is when they are playing in Cleveland and Josh Gordon is suspended and the availability of Jordan Cameron and Ben Tate is unknown.

CINCINNATI -5 over Atlanta
Atlanta made me look good last week by not only covering against the Saints, but by beating them in overtime. Unfortunately the Bengals also made me look good by covering and beating the Ravens on the road, and now the Bengals return home where they went 8-0 last year and won those eight games by an average of 17.6 points. The Bengals haven’t lost at home since Dec. 9, 2012 in Week 14 and it was a one-point (20-19) loss to the Cowboys. Could Paul Brown Stadium be turning into the Superdome?

TAMPA BAY -6 over St. Louis
After losing to a Cam Newton-less Panthers team in Week 1, there are a lot of open seats on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers bandwagon as it gives us a preview into what Yankee Stadium will look like in 2015. The Buccaneers now get a Sam Bradford-less Rams team in Week 2 before heading on the road for three straights week to Atlanta, Pittsburgh and New Orleans. If the Buccaneers can’t win a convincing game against the 2014 Rams, who were run out of their own building by the Vikings, then their 2014 is going to go the way 2013 went.

SAN DIEGO +6 over Seattle
I have thought about this game more than any other game this week and after going over everything, I have narrowed all the information down to two basic questions:

1. Do I want to get burned by the Super Bowl champion Seahawks and the best defense in the league for the second time in as many weeks?

2. Do I want to trust that Philip Rivers can keep it close against and possibly even beat the Super Bowl champion Seahawks and the best defense in the league?

And when I write the two questions out, it’s easy for me to see that . If I lose this game taking the best team in football coming off a 20-point win against the so-called “best” quarterback in the league on 10 days rest, I can deal with it. But what I can’t deal with is if I take the Chargers and then watch the Seahawks do what they did to Aaron Rodgers and the Packers on opening night.

Houston -3 over OAKLAND
Oakland is playing for the first overall pick at the 2015 NFL Draft and after having watched Draft Day this week, I can definitely see the Raiders making the same decisions Sonny Weaver Jr. made if he had never eventually gotten his first-round picks back for the next three years back.

GREEN BAY -8.5 over New York Jets
No one seems to know what checkpoint Rex Ryan needs to reach to be the Jets head coach in 2015, whether it’s a .500 season or a winning season or reaching the playoffs or winning a playoff game, but watching Ryan celebrate a Chris Ivory 71-yard touchdown run against the lowly Raiders as if he just received word he’s going to be brought back for next season wasn’t a good look for Rex. It’s the Raiders. The Raiders! They started a rookie quarterback making his NFL debut and helped him out with 25 rushing yards. That’s 25 rushing yards on 15 carries in a 60-minute game!

When I did the Jets preseason podcast with my friend and most optimistic Jets fan Tim Duff, we talked about the Jets’ need to beat the Raiders before the six-week gauntlet from Weeks 2-7 that will decide their season. The Jets took care of business against in Week 1, but now the gauntlet begins and it begins in Green Bay where a healthy Aaron Rodgers and the Packers are looking to bounce back after their season-opening rout at the hands of the Seahawks and avoid falling to 0-2 and Green Bay is where Duff will be, in his Sheldon Richardson jersey likely getting ridiculed and abused by Packers fans. I’m looking forward to my next podcast with Duff following the Jets-Packers game because I know it’s going to have a much different tone than it did before Week 1 when he was taking shots at the Giants and glowing over the phone with optimism about the Jets.

DENVER -13 over Kansas City
Last year I saw “good value” in taking the 9-0 Chiefs’ money line against the 8-1 Broncos in Denver in Week 11. I was at MSG for Rangers-Kings checking my phone for score updates and still felt confident in the bet despite trailing 17-10 at halftime. But eventually, the Broncos pulled away, winning 27-17 and covering the 7.5-point line.

When the teams met two weeks later in Kansas City, I once again saw “good value” in taking the money line of the 9-2 Chiefs over the 10-1 Broncos at home where the Chiefs had only one loss, which came the week prior against the Chargers on a game-winning touchdown with 31 seconds left. The Broncos won again, this time 35-28, and covered again.

The lesson I learned: Don’t trust Alex Smith and Andy Reid against Peyton Manning.

Chicago +7 over SAN FRANCISCO
The Bears are in a bad spot. Not only are they playing the 49ers this week, but six of their next eight games are on the road in tough places: San Francisco, New York (Jets), Carolina, Atlanta, New England and Green Bay. No one saw a Week 1 loss at home to the Bills coming for the Bears and that includes Bills fans. It was a terrible teaser-killing loss and one the Bears couldn’t afford to give away playing in the best division in the league and with their challenging schedule. Had the Bears blown out the Bills and covered their 7-point spread like most assumed, this line in San Francisco would be somewhere around 3.5-5, but instead it’s 7, and 7 seems too high for a 49ers team that suffered devastating secondary injuries. Did I just take Jay Cutler on Sunday Night Football against one of the league’s elite teams in a game in which they will open their new stadium? I probably won’t regret this decision …

INDIANAPOLIS -3 over Philadelphia
Back-to-back primetime spots for Andrew Luck. Earlier this week, Mike Francesa said Luck “is about to become the best player in the league” and that might be true, which means a lot more primetime for Luck for a long, long time.

The Giants’ best chance (and possibly only chance) at reaching the postseason is going to come by winning the division. (Yes, I’m talking Giants’ postseason chances three days after a 21-point in which their offense and offensive coordinator looked like 12 guys who all spoke 12 different languages.) And if the Giants are going to stay in the hunt, they are going to need the rest of the NFC East to be mediocre as well. The Cowboys and Redskins proved they are ready to fight for an 8-8 or 9-7 playoff berth with their Week 1 performances and the Eagles looked like they would happily join in as well before their 34-point second-half outburst against the Jaguars. The only thing standing in the way of the Giants and meaningful late-season football and a potential playoff berth they don’t deserve is if the Eagles don’t run away with the division.

Last week: 8-8-0

Blogs • Giants

Sep 9, 2014

Giants-Lions Week 1 Thoughts: Debacle in Detroit

The Giants opened the 2014 season the same way they opened the 2013 season. The only difference is that they were in Detroit this year and not Dallas.

One year ago when the Giants lost 36-31 to the Cowboys in Dallas on Sunday Night Football, I was disappointed about the Giants’ sloppy six-turnover effort. But it was promising knowing that despite turning the ball over six times (three interceptions, three fumbles), Eli Manning threw for 450 yards and four touchdowns, Victor Cruz had three touchdowns and 118 receiving yards and Hakeem Nicks had 114 receiving yards.

On Monday night when the Giants lost 35-14 to the Lions in Detroit, I was disappointed because I had waited since Nov. 24 (Week 12) for a meaningful Giants game and they turned in an embarrassing effort. There wasn’t anything promosing about Monday night. Eli Manning looked like he was asked to learn sign language in Ben McAdoo’s offense and either he learned it incorrectly (unlikely) or his receivers didn’t care to learn it (very likely), the Giants’ receivers couldn’t hang on to passes, the offensive line left Eli exposed enough to nearly end his career and the hyped-up secondary looked as bad as any Giants secondary in recent years.

Monday night went as bad as anyone could have imagined for the Giants in the first game of the season. Calvin Johnson set the tone, the Giants’ offensive problems looked like a continuation of the preseason and the Lions walked into a win that not even Jim Caldwell could mess up. A year ago, we had the “Disaster in Dallas” to begin the 2013 season and on Monday night, we had the “Debacle in Detroit” to begin the 2014 season.

– Let’s start with Eli Manning because it’s up to him to make the 2014 Giants’ season not play out the way 2013 did. The problem with Eli’s success is that his success is tied directly to that of Ben McAdoo and his receivers. Eli (18-for-33, 163 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs) was far from his best and far from even mediocrity, but McAdoo, who was supposed to come here and make the Giants’ offense Packers East, was calling plays the way Kevin Gilbride would have, and Eli’s receivers, clearly lost with the new offense, were busy running wrong routes and dropping passes.

Eli looked ridiculous giving hand signals at the line rather than yelling “Omaha!” or telling everyone at home who is wearing the mic on the defense. It was almost as if Eli was being threatened with a 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty for talking as he turned to receivers to give them index finger into hole signals, looking like he was a fourth grader who realized for the first time that he could do things with his hands to represent intercourse. And he looked lost trying to let Larry Donnell know where he was supposed to be on the line by using his hands to look like he was wringing out a wet towel and by touching his body all over the place as if he was trying to let a hitter and baserunner know that a hit-and-run is on.

Eli can’t do it by himself because no quarterback can, but things don’t seem like they are going to get better around him. The offensive line is bad and there’s no real help on the way. The Giants’ best receiver is a 21-year-old rookie, who has never really even practiced with the team, let alone played in a game or built any chemistry with Eli. And the offensive coordinator has never been an offensive coordinator before at any level. So let’s get to that offensive coordinator.

– Mike Tirico decided to chime in and take a shot at an offensive line-less and receiver-less Eli by hyping up Aaron Rodgers and saying how we should all be thankful Rodgers was born since he is so brilliant in the same offense Eli is trying to run. But Jon Gruden stepped in and shot down Tirico’s ridiculous praise for Rodgers by mentioning the obvious fact that “Rodgers has been in that system for years, Eli has been in this system for months.”

That system is the Packers’ or Mike McCarthy’s and now it’s Ben McAdoo’s, which is some form of those mixed with his own additions and modifications.

Ben McAdoo was hired on Jan. 14, which means he had 238 days until opening night to get the Giants’ offense set. The NFL schedule was released on April 23, which means the Giants knew for at least 138 days that they would be playing the Lions. That means for the last 138 days McAdoo has been thinking up his first-drive plays to use against the Lions. So what did the Giants run on their opening drive (trailing 7-0)?

First-and-10 at New York 20: Rashad Jennings left tackle to New York 18 for -2 yards.

Second-and-12 at New York 18: Rashad Jennings right tackle to New York 19 for 1 yard.

Third-and-11 at New York 19: Eli Manning pass incomplete short right to Jerrel Jernigan.

Run, run, pass intended to the fifth- or sixth-best offensive option to begin the season with a three-and-out? Are we sure Gilbride didn’t make a promise with Jerry Reese and Tom Coughlin that he would resign, but the Giants had to promise to use whatever three plays he wanted to begin the 2014 season? I thought we were going to get a taste of Aaron Rodgers and put an emphasis on the passing game in the 2014 NFL in which every rule change and adjustment to the game has been made to help the quarterback, receivers and passing in the league. But instead we got the same exact offense we were supposedly getting rid of.

In the third quarter, after giving up a field goal to trail 17-7, the Giants took over at their own 20 following a touchback. Here’s how McAdoo decided to orchestrate the ensuing drive:

First-and-10 at New York 20: Rashad Jennings up the middle to New York 20 for no gain.

Second-and-10 at New York 20: Rashad Jennings right tackle to New York 23 for 3 yards.

Third-and-7 at New York 23: Eli Manning pass short middle to Jerrel Jernigan to New York 26 for 3 yards.

Does that sequence look familiar?

In the fourth quarter with 4:39 left and the Lions leading 35-14 and the game out of reach, the Giants had the ball with a chance to get some garbage-time plays in and get some vital practice with their new offense against a non-practice and non-preseason opponent. Here’s how that drive went:

First-and-10 at New York 20: Eli Manning pass short right to Rashad Jennings to New York 35 for 15 yards.

First-and-10 at New York 35: Eli Manning pass short left to Rashad Jennings to New York 44 for 9 yards.

Second-and-1 at New York 44: Eli Manning pass incomplete deep right to Victor Cruz.

Third-and-1 at New York 44: Andre Williams left end to New York 44 for no gain.

Fourth-and-1 at New York 44: Andre Williams up the middle to New York 44 for no gain.

Eli Manning had 32 passes targeted at receivers. Here’s the breakdown of where those pass attempts went to:

Larry Donnell: 8 (24%)
Jerrel Jernigan: 7 (21%)
Victor Cruz: 6 (18%)
Rashad Jennings: 5 (15%)
Rueben Randle: 3 (9%)
Daniel Fells: 1 (3%)
Corey Washington: 1 (3%)
Andre Williams: 1 (3%)

Cruz, the team’s best receiver, was targeted just the third-most times and Rueben Randle, the team’s second-best receiver, was targeted the fifth-most times, four times less than Jernigan.

One game might not be enough for me to start asking to bring Kevin Gilbride, which would be the equivalent of me asking for the Yankees to bring A.J. Burnett or Nick Swisher or extend Mark Teixeira’s contract for five more years, but that’s all we have to go off of right now and McAdoo didn’t impress in his Giants debut.

– Victor Cruz caught two passes for 24 yards and was targeted six times. I believe five of those six times came after a rough first quarter for Manning when it was obvious that Cruz was upset and frustrated he wasn’t getting the ball. I was upset and frustrated too. Especially since Jerrel Jernigan was all of a sudden being thrown to as if he had become 2009 Steve Smith or 2011 Cruz. But as Manning started to go back to his trusted receiver, Cruz bobbled and dropped his passes, several of which were for potential big gains.

The Giants chose to pay Cruz (five years, $43 million) instead of Nicks and then decided not to pay Nicks at all after his 13-game, touchdown-less 2013 season, so he went to Indianapolis for cheap and signed a one-year, $3.975 million deal. Cruz is not a No. 1 receiver even if he is supposed to be. He is a No. 1 receiver the same way Chien-Ming Wang was an ace. He is a slot receiver, who put up big numbers because he was on the field with Nicks, who is a real No. 1. Monday night was a glimpse into life without a true No. 1 receiver to protect Cruz and he was awful.

– In the third quarter, the Lions, leading 17-7, started first-and-10 at their own 25 and Robert Ayers sacked Matthew Stafford for a loss of five yards and celebrated as if he was Jay Alford ending Tom Brady and the Patriots’ quest for perfection in Super Bowl XLII. Losing by 10 points and getting to the quarterback for the first time in the game in the third quarter and acting the way Ayers did was embarrassing. Two plays later, Golden Tate caught a 44-yard pass on third-and-11. For some reason, I didn’t see Ayers on camera acting as if he just doubled an 11 and got a 10 with $20,000 on the table following Tate’s big play.

I didn’t think anyone could one-up Ayers’ celebration, but on the same drive, just six plays after Ayers’ sack, Prince Amukamara was able to knock the ball out of Joseph Fauria’s hands in the end zone on second-and-Goal from the 9 to prevent a touchdown and then one-upped Ayers. Amukamara emphatically gave the incomplete sign as if he was signaling that the winning run had scored in the bottom of the ninth inning in Game 7 of the World even though Fauria had caught a 26-yard pass on second-and-13 from the Giants’ 35 just two plays earlier to put the Lions at the Giants’ 9.

– Calvin Johnson had seven catches for 164 yards and two touchdowns and it felt like way more than that. His first touchdown, a 67-yard wide-open reception, gave me flashbacks to the days of DeSean Jackson backpedaling and simultaneously laughing at the Giants’ secondary. Except this Giants’ secondary was supposed to be different. But in Tom Coughlin’s halftime spot with ESPN, he summed up the first half by saying, “We hung in there,” which showed the Giants haven’t changed. If the Yankees are using, “Our history. Your tradition,” then maybe Coughlin just gave the Giants their slogan for 2014. “The 2014 New York Giants: We hung in there.”

The problem is the Giants didn’t continue to “hang in there” after Coughlin offered that wisdom. The Giants were then outscored 13-0 in the third quarter and 21-7 in the second half on the way to their three-touchdown loss. “We hung in there” isn’t a phrase that breeds confidence let alone winning and the Giants did anything but “hang in” a game they allowed the Lions to go 10-for-15 on third down. To make matters worse here is how those successful third downs played out:

1. Third-and-9 at Detroit 33: 67-yard touchdown pass to Calvin Johnson.

2. Third-and-13 at New York 16: 16-yard touchdown pass to Calvin Johnson.

3. Third-and-3 at Detroit 38: 9-yard pass to Golden Tate.

4. Third-and-4 at New York 47: 24-yard pass to Calvin Johnson.

5. Third-and-11 at Detroit 24: 44-yard pass to Golden Tate.

6. Third-and-5 at New York 5: 5-yard touchdown run for Matthew Stafford.

7. Third-and-7 at Detroit 23: 22-yard pass to Calvin Johnson.

8. Third-and-5 at 50: 11-yard pass to Calvin Johnson.

9. Third-and-4 at New York 13: 10-yard pass to Golden Tate.

10. Third-and-3 at New York 37: 12-yard pass to Golden Tate.

Those third-down letdowns were the bad part of Giants football that still hasn’t changed and maybe never will, but it doesn’t look like the good part of Giants football is going to return soon to make up for it.

It’s almost impossible to remember that this team won the Super Bowl 31 months ago and it’s hard to remember that this team won seven games just last year since right now seven wins seems unfathomable. The Yankees barely got me to the Giants, and right now, I don’t see the Giants even getting me to the Rangers.

Blogs • Email Exchanges • Giants

Sep 5, 2014

Giants-Lions Looks Lopsided

The Giants and Lions open the season against each on Monday Night Football and both teams are at a crossroads this year.

The New York Football Giants are back. The good news is that the Giants enter the season with no expectations at all. Well, no positive expectations. The only expectations the team has is that they might actually be worse than they were a year ago when they started the season 0-6 and finished 7-9. How is that good news? That’s good news because the Giants thrive when there aren’t any expectations attached to them. If they were being picked to go 12-4 and win the NFC East then I would worry about them. The bad news is that if the people who are saying the Giants could be looking at their worst season since 2004 are right then football season isn’t going to fun for me or any Giants fan.

With the Giants’ season kicking off on Monday night in Detroit, I did an email exchange with Sean Yuille of Pride of Detroit to talk about having Jim Caldwell as his team’s head coach, and what we can expect on Monday night.

Keefe: Last season, the Lions were 6-3 before losing six of their last seven games to finish 7-9 and miss out on the postseason, which led to the firing of Jim Schwartz. I had forgotten about Schwartz since last season and it wasn’t until the Giants’ Hall of Fame Game against the Bills in August when I saw him as the defensive coordinator for the Bills did it hit me that he is no longer with the Lions. And then I remembered that Jim Caldwell is now the head coach of the Lions. Jim Caldwell! The seemingly most lost head coach to ever put on a headset in the NFL, who at times looks confused as to why he is on the sidelines of an NFL game.

It seems like this core of Lions players are entering a crossroads season where they will either get back to the playoffs for the first time since 2011 or lead another head coach to be fired. The team might have the most talent in the entire league, but hasn’t been able to put it together and consistently win and now they are asking Caldwell to lead them in doing so.

I’m still in shock that Caldwell is coaching the Lions, but it doesn’t matter to me since they’re not my team. However, they are your team and Caldwell is your head coach. And while it was definitely time for Schwartz to go, are you on board with Caldwell?

Yuille: I am now. When he was first hired? Not so much. At the time, I had a lot of the same thoughts as you about Caldwell. He was a disappointing hire, especially after the team was seemingly spurned by Ken Whisenhunt, who ended up taking the Titans’ job instead. Generally speaking, the Caldwell hire was an uninspiring one, and the Lions’ overall coaching search was quite uninspiring as well.

Quickly, I warmed up to the hire once Caldwell outlined his vision for the Lions and put together his coaching staff. It obviously remains to be seen if this will all lead to success, but he brought in a lot of promising coordinators and position coaches, and unlike Jim Schwartz, he seems to actually be focused on fixing the Lions’ biggest weaknesses in order for them to take the next step.

Keefe: Last season in Week 1, I thought the Giants might have the most explosive offense in the league following their 31-point effort in Dallas, despite losing the game, with Eli Manning throwing for 450 yards, Victor Cruz having 118 receiving yards and Hakeem Nicks having 114. But then Eli decided to throw more interceptions than touchdowns, Cruz didn’t break 1,000 yards and Nicks didn’t find the end zone once all season.

When I look at the Lions’ offense and see Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson, Golden Tate and Reggie Bush, I have nightmares thinking about how the Giants are going to force the Lions to punt even a single time on Monday. There has been a lot of hype around the Giants’ secondary and how it could possibly be the best in the league, and in Week 1 it’s going to have to be to slow down the Lions’ receivers.

How excited are you to watch about the Lions’ offense?

Yuille: I’m both excited and nervous at the same time. On the one hand, it will be nice to see Golden Tate and Eric Ebron on the field in a regular-season game, and it will be just as nice to see Joe Lombardi unleash his new scheme as offensive coordinator of the Lions. He based his scheme on what he saw when he was Drew Brees’ quarterbacks coach in New Orleans, and the hope is that the Lions will become a more balanced and more efficient offense going forward.

At the same time, I’m nervous simply because we’ve been fooled before by the offense’s talent on paper. The Lions are quite strong at all of their offensive position groups, but all of that talent won’t mean anything if they can’t do simple things like take care of the ball, avoid stupid penalties and convert drives into points. The turnovers aspect is especially concerning considering that really led to the Lions’ downfall last year, and that’s an area where Matthew Stafford has to be much better.

Keefe: There are only so many “special” players in sports to watch and I’m fortunate to have grown up with Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera as homegrown talent and watch their Hall of Fame and all-time great careers unfold on my team. In Detroit, you have Calvin Johnson, the best wide receiver in the world, who you have already been able to watch for seven years and will watch him for at least six more.

What’s it like to get to really watch and root for Johnson every Sunday as a real fan and not as a fantasy football fake fan?

Yuille: It’s quite amazing to see someone as talented as Megatron on a weekly basis. We’ve been quite fortunate in Detroit over the years to see a lot of special players, and even right now we get to watch Miguel Cabrera and Pavel Datsyuk, who are both considered among the very best at what they do. For the Lions, it’s tough to compare anybody to Barry Sanders from a talent standpoint, but Megatron is on track to be one of the very best in franchise history, and he’s an extremely likable person off the field as well.

Keefe: For a long time, the NFC East was the so-called toughest division in the league. But last year, the Eagles won the East at 10-6 the Cowboys finished 8-8, the Giants 7-9 and the Redskins 3-13. The East hasn’t sent two teams to the playoffs since 2009 (Philadelphia and Dallas) and this year, it very well could end up being the worst division in the league, which is saying a lot because the AFC South still exists.

The NFC West had consistently been the worst division in football when the NFC East was on top, but with three strong and two elite teams there, that’s no longer the case. But above the NFC West is the NFC North, where all four teams look to be good in 2014 and now that the Vikings have a franchise quarterback on their roster, the North could have four of the league’s top quarterbacks going at it for several years.

Are you worried about the enhanced competition in the NFC North and which teams scares you the most in the division?

Yuille: The NFC in general worries me because there are so many good teams. It’s possible that the Lions could go 10-6 this year and still miss the playoffs depending on how the standings shake out. And especially in the NFC North, it’s possible they could put together an excellent season and only finish third.

Within the division, the Packers are definitely the team that scares me the most. I know a lot of people are quite high on the Bears this year, but the Packers are still the team to beat. The Lions haven’t won a road game against them since 1991, and Aaron Rodgers may very well be the best quarterback in football. It’s tough to see the Lions making any real noise in the division unless they take care of business against Green Bay.

Keefe: The Giants and Lions played last year in Week 16 in what ended up being a Giants’ 23-20 overtime as they played out the string in a lost season. But that game did mean something for the Lions, who needed a win to stay alive in the NFC North playoff race and the home loss to the Giants was unexpected and the final straw for Schwartz.

Here in New York, no one believes in the 2014 Giants, and while that’s a good thing because the Giants as a franchise are always better when there aren’t any expectations for them, the reasons no one believes in them are frightening because of the amount of question marks they have. The Lions aren’t exactly the best season-opening option for the Giants and their long list of unknowns.

Monday could end up being a disaster for the Giants and they could get run out of Ford Field and I will have to spend the next week listening to how Eli Manning’s career is over and Tom Coughlin should be fired. There’s a good chance the Lions’ pass rush has its way with the Giants’ inexperienced and makeshift offensive line and the Giants’ offense continues to be as sloppy as it was in the preseason. But knowing the history of the Giants and Lions, neither team can ever be trusted to put together a complete effort or meet expectations and because of that, it’s hard to know how Monday’s game will play out.

What do you expect on Monday?

Yuille: I expect a Lions victory. Ford Field is going to be absolutely crazy with Monday Night Football in town, and Detroit in general is going to be quite amped up, especially with the Tigers and Royals battling for first place in the AL Central at Comerica Park on Monday afternoon. An energetic crowd doesn’t automatically lead to victories, of course, but between that and the way the Lions match up with the Giants, this should be a win for Detroit. I expect the Giants to keep it close for a few quarters, perhaps via some untimely turnovers, but I ultimately think the Lions will pull away for a 27-17 win.

Blogs • Giants

Sep 4, 2014

NFL Week 1 Picks

Last season, the Makeshift Yankees got me to September and got me to the Giants. Unfortunately, the Giants couldn’t even make it through September to get me to the Rangers by going winless through September and half of October. Yes, the Giants fought back to give me a meaningful game on the Sunday before Thanksgiving in Week 12, but they blew that game and blew a gift from the Football Gods, who gave them a chance to take over the NFC East lead and a chance at the playoffs despite starting the season 0-6.

This season, the Yankees got me to the Giants (barely) and are still somewhat going even if they need to go like 25-0 the rest of the way to make the playoffs. The Giants, though, might not get me to the Rangers again, judging by their preseason offense and all of the questions surrounding a team that seems to be headed in the wrong direction. But not even the thought of Eli throwing another 27 interceptions can get me down today because it’s the start of the football season.

The first day of football season means the first day of picks, doing longhand addition on the back of bills to create wild parlays, figuring out how to track four fantasy teams without getting the “Stop running this script?” message on a computer, freaking out over a suicide pool in the fourth quarter of the first week, searching for some overseas site that has every NFL game available to watch if you just answer some survey questions, drinking excessive amounts of beer and eating foods that contain little to no nutritional value.

Football is back in my life and so are the New York Football Giants.

When I last left off with the Giants, they won their season finale over the Redskins in front of one of the most embarrassing Week 17 home crowds the Giants have likely ever seen. But when I really left off with the Giants was when they were blowing that Week 12 game against the Cowboys, because after that, the final five weeks of the season were just a formality.

After the Giants won Super Bowl XLII, Plaxico Burress ruined what should have been the next NFL dynasty and the Giants lost their only playoff game in 2008. They missed the playoffs completely in 2009 and 2010 thanks to back-to-back second-half collapses before winning the Super Bowl in 2011. Now they have gone back-to-back years without a trip to the playoffs once again and all I can think is maybe there’s a pattern there.

Football is back and that means so are the weekly picks.

(Home team in caps)

Green Bay +6 over SEATTLE
The Seahawks are going to win on Thursday night because they don’t lose in Seattle and they certainly about to start losing at home on the same night they are raising a Super Bowl banner in their first home game since becoming champions. However, Aaron Rodgers is as healthy as he’s going to be for the next four months and that’s enough for the Packers to cover.

ATLANTA +3 over New Orleans
Here are the last five Saints-Falcons games in Atlanta:

2013 – Week 12: NO 17, ATL 13
2012 – Week 13: ATL 23, NO 13
2011 – Week 10: NO 26, ATL 23 OT
2010 – Week 9: NO 17, ATL 14
2009 – Week 14: NO 26, ATL 23

The Saints have won four of the last five games in Atlanta and all of their wins have been by four points or less. The only Falcons win in there came in a 13-3 season, which should have resulted in Super Bowl appearance if they didn’t blow a 17-point lead in the NFC Championship Game and cost me my 10-to-1 Falcons-Ravens parlay that Sunday. I know how different the Saints are outside of the Superdome, but the Georgia Dome is still a dome and you would think they would play at least near their Superdome abilities, but they were barely able to get by the miserable 2013 Falcons last year with a four-point win. I have been burned too many times by the Saints on the road in the past even if they have been successful of late in Atlanta, and I’m still not over their loss in New England last year.

Minnesota +3.5 over ST. LOUIS
I had to do a double take when I saw this line to make sure I wasn’t reading it backwards or that it hadn’t been posted wrong.

I’m petrified at the thought of picking against Shaun Hill because when he was on the 49ers he cost me a lot of picks. A LOT of picks. I don’t care that Hill is 34 years old and has only attempted 16 passes in the last three years. He could be 56 years old and coming out of a 20-year retirement and starting in this game and I wouldn’t feel comfortable. But it’s time to start collecting on my past losses against Hill and it starts this week.

Cleveland +7 over PITTSBURGH
I’m not sure who told a bigger lie on Wednesday: Wes Welker saying someone slipped something into his drink to produce his positive Molly test or Mike Pettine saying “We’re not going to have a quick hook” when it comes to Brian Hoyer. It’s hard to take Welker at his word when you consider that he looked like this at the Kentucky Derby and that Tom Brady laughed like this when asked if he saw Welker taking anything at the Derby. Brady’s laugh could have meant “Haha, yeah, I’m going to say I watched my suspended friend do drugs,” since that would go over real well for one of the faces of football and for every anti-drug Tom Brady fan on the planet. Or it could have meant “Haha, obviously I watched my friend take drugs because we were partying at the Kentucky Derby.” I think it meant both.

Brian Hoyer is virtually an unknown, having started just two NFL games, and Johnny Manziel is also an unknown having never played one second in the NFL. The difference is that Johnny Football is the new Tim Tebow if Tim Tebow had Manziel’s quarterback abilities. In Week 1 in 2011, it didn’t take Mile High long to start a Rudy-like chant asking for Tebow to play and three weeks later they got their wish when Tebow became the starter. Cleveland has had one winning season in the last 11 years and have made the playoffs once (2002) since returning to the NFL in 1999. It’s going to take a lot less and a lot less time for Browns fans to turn on Hoyer and call for Johnny Football and once those chants start, there’s no stopping them and certainly not a first-year head coach in a job he wasn’t the first choice for. The only reason Manziel isn’t starting is because it’s easier for Pettine to bench Hoyer than it is Manziel.

No one believes Welker and no one believes Pettine.

PHILADELPHIA -11 over Jacksonville
Here are Philadelphia’s last three season-opening opponents: Washington, Cleveland and St. Louis. Apparently things weren’t easy enough for the Eagles to get their seasons rolling with three straight 1-0 starts, so the NFL schedule makers gave them the Jaguars to kick off 2014. So when the Eagles hang 40-something points on the Jaguars on Sunday and for the next week we are forced to hear about how Chip Kelly is a genius and the Eagles’ offense is unstoppable and every trash site that create lists about the “Best” this and “Top” that for content start to compare Nick Foles to all-time greats and the Eagles’ offense to the 2013 Broncos or 2007 Patriots, it will be the NFL schedule makers’ fault. Eff you, NFL schedule makers. Eff you.

NEW YORK JETS -5.5 over Oakland
Here is the Jets’ schedule for their next six games after the Raiders: at Green Bay, Chicago, Detroit, at San Diego, Denver, at New England.

The Jets could easily lose all six of those games, but even if they don’t lose all six of them, it’s going to be very, very hard for them to go even .500 during the gauntlet. The Jets know this and know that if they have any hopes of staying in the playoff hunt through October they HAVE to beat Oakland. And even if they didn’t know this, there’s nothing the Raiders can do about it anyway.

Cincinnati +1.5 over BALTIMORE
Ravens-Bengals seems like it’s becoming what Ravens-Steelers was for so long. And if that’s the case, then I have to go with what I write for every Ravens-Steelers pick:

This game will be decided by three points. And when you know that, how can you not take the points?

CHICAGO -7 over Buffalo
Here is what I said about the Bears in my 2013 NFL Week 1 Picks:

The Bears are the closest things to the Giants in the NFL when you look at their talent and ability to completely destroy a playoff-bound season.

Here is what I said about the Bills in my 2013 NFL Week 1 Picks:

Bills fans don’t like when anyone talks poorly about them or picks against them (even when a spread is involved), but even a Bills fan with the Bills logo tattooed on his neck (someone like this has to exist) or a Bills fan with the Bills logo tattooed on his bald head (someone like this also has to exist) would tell you that the 2013 season is going to be fine.

Both things held true as the Bears blew their season and the Bills were what the Bills have been for basically my entire life. This game and line does feel too good to be true and whenever a game feels too good to be true, it usually is.

HOUSTON -3 over Washington
I want the Redskins to fail, so that when it comes time for Giants-Redskins on Thursday Night Football in Week 4, I can talk to my friend Ray, the biggest Redskins fan I know, and have him in a serious depression.

KANSAS CITY -4 over Tennessee
This line feels low. This game also feels like the one where I’m going to be thinking “Why didn’t I just take the points?” before halftime.

New England -5 over MIAMI
I wanted to take the Dolphins here. I really, really, really wanted to take the Dolphins here. But then I thought about flipping around between games on Sunday at 1:12 p.m. and flipping back to Patriots-Dolphins just in time to see CBS cutting to commercial with their NFL theme music playing and a shot of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick talking on the sidelines as a graphic appears on the screen that says New England 7, Dolphins 0, 13:54, 1st QTR. That exact situation has played out many times and I have tried to avoid being on the wrong end of it.

Carolina +2.5 over TAMPA BAY
I was initially confused about this line because the Panthers went 11-1 after a 1-3 start last season and the Buccaneers became the most dysfunctional team in a league that still has the Raiders. So when I saw the Panthers were 2.5-point underdogs with Cam Newton playing with a hairline fracture in his ribs, I was skeptical and still am. It seems like Vegas is joining the Tampa Bay bandwagon along with a lot of the football world and at least for one week they have me on board, but I’m sitting coach and next to the emergency exit for when I inevitably jump off for Week 2.

San Francisco -5 over DALLAS
If you saw the Cowboys roster and it was listed as the roster for “Team X” and Team X didn’t happen to be a national team with a heavy gambling presence, this line would be a lot higher than 5 for one of the NFL’s elite teams on the road against a team that’s headed for a six- or seven-win season. And I’m going to cherish every minute of the Cowboys’ inevitable miserable season.

DENVER -7.5 over Indianapolis
I honestly believe Peyton Manning has every single play for the entire first quarter already scripted out. If the script comes relatively close to the way it went at home last year for the Broncos then this pick will be fine.

New York Giants +6 over DETROIT
I originally saw this line at DETROIT -3.5 and now it’s moved 2 1/2 points to 6 as everyone watched the Giants’ first offensive team struggle to produce any kind of offense in five preseason games. But even with their struggles as long as Kevin Gilbride doesn’t have a direct connection into Eli Manning’s helmet to tell him to run a draw play on third-and-7 from the opponent’s 47-yard line then I like the Giants’ chances not only to cover in this season-opening game, but all season. (And it’s Week 1, of course I’m not picking against the Giants.)

ARIZONA -3 over San Diego
Maybe one day I won’t be so anti-San Diego and pick against them at any opportunity I get, but that day isn’t today in Week 1.

Blogs • Email Exchanges • Yankees

Sep 2, 2014

The Rivalry Is Now Irrelevant

Yankees-Red Sox in September isn’t what it used to be and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be what it once was anytime soon.

The last time the Yankees and Red Sox met was 30 days ago at Fenway Park when the Yankees overcame two three-run deficits on Sunday Night Baseball and looked like they might be ready to go on an August and September run after back-to-back come-from-behind wins in Boston. They went on to win three of four against the Tigers at the Stadium and my wish of a run down the stretch from the Yankees was coming true. But that run has been put on hold as the Yankees are just 9-11 over their last 20 games and are 4 games out of the second wild card with 28 games to play. Fortunately, the Red Sox are in the Bronx this week and if the Yankees want to keep their postseason dreams alive, there isn’t a better opponent to begin what will need to be a memorable September.

With the Yankees still somewhat alive in the wild-card race and the Red Sox just counting down the days until their miserable season is finally over, I emailed Mike Hurley of CBS Boston because that’s what I do when the Yankees and Red Sox play each other.

Keefe: The start of second grade. For both of us, that’s the last time both the Yankees and Red Sox missed the postseason. The fall of 1993, 21 years ago, was the last time September was basically meaningless for the two superpowers that have spent two decades at or near the top of baseball. That’s remarkable and astonishing and also sad and depressing.

The Red Sox suck and are the team they were in 2012 and the team they should have been in 2013, while the Yankees are 4 games out of the second wild card, the same wild card I was adamantly against with you when instituted two seasons ago. And at this point it’s going to take a 20-8 September from the Yankees to possibly have a shot at the one-game playoff or a one-game playoff to get to the one-game playoff.

The Red Sox aren’t going to the playoffs. The Yankees are most likely not going to the playoffs. The Orioles and Royals most likely are and the Indians or Mariners could be. Is this a world you want to live in?

Hurley: I have distinct memories of being in second grade, sitting at my desk. I drew a hockey net on the front side of the box, and I wrote “MOOG 35” on the back of a little troll toy I had. Remember those? Those were messed up. Anyway, as you might imagine, I was a genius and I didn’t need to pay attention in school, so I kept myself busy by using a pencil to fire slappers at my troll Andy Moog.

Now for you to tell me that the last time the Red Sox and Yankees didn’t make the playoffs was when I was going top shelf in Mrs. Castiglione’s class, that’s pretty messed up. Though admittedly, it’s kind of misleading. I mean, that’s much more about the Yankees, who have made the postseason in 17 of the last 19 years, than it is about the Red Sox, who kind of pop in and out of the playoffs when they’re feeling good and then occasionally drop to last place.

I’ll tell you, and you’ll probably agree, that it’s easy to root for the Indians. Any time Terry Francona can make Red Sox ownership look bad for firing him for no reason, it’s going to be pretty funny.

But to answer your question, is this a world I want to live in? I believe Michael Scott said it best.

Keefe: I do like Terry Francona even if he was the man responsible for ruining the year 2004 for me. If only he hadn’t been so calm and composed and had been freaking out and going wild in the dugout and throwing things and skipping press conferences with the media, the Red Sox wouldn’t have come back. I hate you, Terry Francona. (But I also don’t.)

I was in Mrs. Lazar’s class, Don Mattingly was still playing first base for the Yankees, Mike Gallego was wearing No. 2 and splitting time at shortstop with Spike Owen (no wonder the Yankees didn’t make the playoffs) and I didn’t understand that the Whalers sucked and would finish 25^th out of 26 in attendance that season. (The Islanders, Jets and Panthers outdrew the Whalers in 1993-94.) It’s been a long, long time since both teams were home in October. The problem is that this is going to become a frequent event thanks to teams locking up their players and ruining their chances at becoming free agents for the Yankees and Red Sox to fight over signing.

In New York, Yankees fans are upset that the Yankees don’t have young, homegrown talent, while also being upset that the team isn’t competitive right now. These fans likely forget that the dynasty that began in the mid-90s was made possible because of a long period of losing in the Bronx. Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera and Andy Pettitte and Jorge Posada didn’t magically appear in the Bronx one day on the 4 train. It’s somewhat impossible to build through the draft and also sign big-name free agents in 2014 and while Brian Cashman continues to try and plug both old and new holes on a sinking boat, it seems inevitable that at some point you just need a new boat.

What’s the mood in Boston when it comes to the Red Sox? Do people even care that they suck this year? I realize they won the World Series last year and their five-year grace period is just starting while the Yankees’ five-year grace period from 2009 is over this season. Now that the Patriots are five days away from beginning their season and the Bruins are a month away from beginning theirs, do people even care about the Red Sox? It pains me that they won last year because if they were still looking at no postseason since 2009 and another miserable finish, I would imagine that John Henry wouldn’t be showing his face on Newbury Street or going out to dinner in the North End.

Hurley: The mood in Boston is kind of ridiculous, to be honest with you. The Red Sox traded away Jon Lester because they were unwilling to even get serious when it came to contract negotiations. Four years and $70 million for a durable lefty who was a badass in winning a World Series last year? What is that?

So they didn’t want to pay him because he’ll be in his 30s, and apparently they believe that no pitcher has ever pitched well in his 30s.

Nevertheless, the Red Sox traded away their homegrown star pitcher and then leaked info that they’re going to go after him hard in the offseason. And so many people bought it. What the hell is that? You don’t let your best players see what life is like on the other side of the fence, and you sure as hell don’t let them go to free agency when you have a chance to lock him up forever. It’s insane. Yet people are like “Oh, well they’re going to sign him in the winter, and they got Cespedes, so that’s OK!”

It’s madness.

As for the Sox now, they’re kind of non-existent. Some no-name on the Rays slid into second base on Saturday night and elbowed Dustin Pedroia in the head, and nobody seems to care. Everyone’s busy talking about Ryan Mallett and Logan Mankins.

But I’ll tell you, it’s not entirely different from last year. It was about a year ago to the date that Mike Cole and I bought tickets for $12 the day of a game and waltzed right in. It was pretty insane that just a few weeks later, they were beating Verlander and Scherzer and then winning the World Series. So even though the Red Sox were good last year and basically owned first place all year, there wasn’t much “Red Sox fever” gripping the region. People might be Sox’d out, which is understandable if you’ve seen how freaking hard everything Sox-related gets pushed on you in Boston.

Keefe: So I’m guessing the Fenway bricks and that sing-along CD from a couple years ago didn’t go over so well? That’s too bad.

In 24 days, Derek Jeter will either be playing three meaningless games in Fenway Park or playing three games that could determine the Yankees’ postseason chances. Right now, Jeter will be playing his final baseball game on Sunday, Sept. 28 in Boston in what could be a game full of September call-ups mirroring more of a March Grapefruit League game rather than a Yankees-Red Sox Game 162. But if the Yankees are eliminated from the playoffs before Game 160 in Boston, maybe Jeter doesn’t play that weekend at all?

Just last year, Mariano Rivera pitched at Yankee Stadium for what would be his final appearance ever in the Bronx and then he went with the Yankees to Houston and made that Stadium appearance his final appearance ever by not pitching in the final three games of the year. It’s obviously different for a position player than a closer and Jeter doesn’t seem like the type of person who would sit out three games he could play in before riding off into the sunset on the back porch of his Tampa mansion, but it would be better if Jeter plays Game 159 at the Stadium against Baltimore and then doesn’t board the plane to Boston if the Yankees are eliminated.

I would prefer if Boston doesn’t get to say goodbye to Jeets and give him four Duck Tour tickets, a burned out bulb from the Citgo sign, an old T token, a $25 gift card to the Bell in Hand and a painting of Haymarket or whatever they were going to give him for his farewell tour.

Hurley: See, in my ideal scenario, the Red Sox sign Pedro Martinez to a one-day contract and let him start on that Sunday. Jeter can bat leadoff and Pedro can go in on the hands with the first pitch, in on the hands again with pitch two, up at the chin with ball three, and then square in the back. Benches will clear, Boston and New York will be enraged, and for one fleeting moment, baseball will feel like it used to feel.

Do you think that can happen? Oh, and it would all come immediately after an over-the-top standing ovation from the Fenway crowd as Jeter is digging into the box. Tell me that wouldn’t be infinitely more exciting than whatever boring-as-crap reality is more likely to play out.

Keefe: I would sign up for that. Well, if the Yankees signed Roger Clemens and Jorge Posada for the day as well and we made things even more interesting. You can have Gabe Kapler too.

It disgusts me that Fenway Park is going to give Jeter an ovation every time he comes to the plate that series. Have some pride, Boston. This is a player who was the face of everything you hate for the last 19 years. He was a main reason for a lot of heartache and devastation your team and the focal point of many explicit T-shirts being sold outside the Kenmore T stop. Boo him, shout obscenities at him, feel free to bring batteries and golf balls to throw at him.

Let’s use David Ortiz as an example. Let’s say David Ortiz never used steroids and was even 10 percent as respectable of an athlete and person as Derek Jeter. Now let’s say David Ortiz is having a farewell tour and it’s coming to Yankee Stadium. There is no chance people are cheering for David Ortiz and thanking him and saluting him for the 2004 ALCS or any form of RE2PECT for him. And if they are, they should be held without bail in a Bronx jail for no less than a week.

Yankees-Red Sox used to mean something and in September it meant everything. Now not only might it not mean anything for both teams, but the face of the rivalry for the last two decades might be cheered the way Ortiz, Bobby Orr, Larry Bird and Tom Brady are in Boston. What an embarrassment.

Hurley: Yeah, sure thing. I bet if Jeter came and got booed, you’d be ranting and raving about how everyone from Boston is scum. So it’s kind of a lose-lose situation as far as Boston is concerned — well, that’s if anyone in Boston cared what Neil Keefe thinks about them.

Also, it’ll be 90% Yankee fans at Fenway on that Sunday. Ticket prices are absurd right now because my smart Boston brethren are fleecing you fools for a game in which Jeter might not even attend. Man, after saying that, I really hope he doesn’t make the trip. A bunch of jabronis spending $400 per ticket to fill Fenway, only to see Stephen Drew and Will Middlebrooks play baseball. That’d be classic.

I like how you praise Jeter as a great human too even though he agreed to star in a commercial where literally everyone in the world just tells him he’s the greatest thing to ever happen, and he’s just like, “Yeah, guys, I know it. Looks, Michael Jordan, I know, I’m the best. Thanks for the hat tip.” What a goober.

Nevertheless, you cheer the guy, because he was a good player who was a worthy rival for a long-ass time. People here won’t be cheering for him the way they cheer for Orr and Bird and Brady — people here would cheer when those guys fart. “Wow! Best fart of all time!!” Instead, people here will begrudgingly cheer for Jeter because A) it’s the right thing to do, and B) they’ll never have to see him send a dinky bloop single over the first baseman’s head to drive in another run.

Keefe: That was harsh. You won’t have to worry about those bloops even in September because he isn’t hitting the ball anywhere other than to short at this point. In the ninth inning on Sunday with the tying run on third and two outs, he hit his patented bloop to right and I thought at first it would fall and the Yankees would tie the game. But instead it fell at second base and the game was over. Not even the bloops are blooping anymore.

Since baseball has been over in Boston for a while now and the summer became more about you trying to get tickets for $2 and waiting until Week 1 of the NFL season, we are now there. It’s Week 1!

Even though you didn’t have much of a baseball season, at least you know your football team is going to walk through the regular season once again and end up with a first-round bye because the Jets still suck, the Dolphins somehow haven’t improved and the Bills are the Bills. You have at least five wins from your division before the opening kickoff of the season and then you just have to go .500 against the rest of the schedule and you have January football once again. It’s disgusting. Vegas has the Patriots over/under wins at 11 even though the last time the team won less than 11 games was Brady’s first season back from ACL surgery. Is there anyway the Patriots don’t win at least 12 games barring anything happening to TB12? Let me know so I can get a wager in on since is the last time I plan on talking to you until Sept. 26.

Hurley: 16-0. See you in Glendale, baby.

The Patriots have never played a bad game in Arizona after an undefeated regular season, have they? Didn’t think so! All right, now I’m ready for kickoff.