Suzyn Waldman – Keefe To The City

Jul 21, 2014

Another Sunday with John and Suzyn

The Yankees have never lost when I listen to John Stelring and Suzyn Waldman and write about it, so on Sunday, I turned to the duo with the Yankees looking for a sweep.

I couldn’t believe it had been over two years since the last time I listened to John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman and wrote down my thoughts during a full Yankees broadcast. The last time I spent an entire game listening to John and Suzyn and then wrote about it the following day was June 5, 2012 and the time before that was June 29, 2011. The Yankees won both of those games (in the 2012 one Phil Hughes miraculously beat Justin Verlander), so with the Yankees needing to go on a summer run, I figured it was time to sit down with John and Suzyn and try to sweep the Reds.

Here’s what transpired on Sunday afternoon at the Stadium …

TOP 1ST
Suzyn: “And as Billy Hamilton steps up to the plate, stepping up to the microphone is the voice of the New York Yankees … here is John Sterling.”

John: “Well, Suzyn, I thank you.”

I picked to follow John and Suzyn for this game because I’m visiting my parents for the weekend (because being in the city on the weekends in the summer is miserable) and I knew I would be outside during the game and since I was going to have to listen to the game rather than watch it, I figured I might as well write about it too. (That and the fact I knew my girlfriend would be laying outside and would rather have me listen and write about the game at once rather than watch/listen to it now and then write about it later.) But I didn’t even factor in that with Hiroki Kuroda and Johnny Cueto starting, the game has a chance to move rather quickly without a lot of baserunners and pitching changes.

To prove my point, Kuroda strikes out Hamilton on a splitter to begin the game, and John reiterates my point.

“If you’re going to beat Cueto, the way to do it is to pitch great against him.”

Skip Schumaker strikes out swinging on a splitter as well and there are two away.

John and Suzyn start to talk about the Yankees defense and lineup, which is the same for the third day in a row. I will have to check, but I’m 99 percent sure it’s the most consecutive games Girardi has used the same lineup since 2009. But in the lineup today (and therefore the third day in a row) is Kelly Johnson, who I have been calling to be designated for assignment for a while now.

“Both Solarte and Wheeler will get time next week,” Suzyn mentions in reference to Johnson playing again, and this is when I wish I was the third man in the booth for the game, so I could ask Suzyn, “What has Kelly Johnson done to not only remain in the lineup, but to remain on this 25-man roster?” The answer to that question would be “nothing.” Johnson is hitting .223/.304/.383 and has just two home runs since May 3 despite being in the lineup to provide extra power.

John, who probably would like to share some choice words about Johnson’s play himself, chooses to change the subject and begins his mission to drive home the point that Johnny Cueto is very good at pitching.

“You know if you’re facing Cueto … Kuroda better pitch a terrific game.”

Kuroda strikes out All-Star Todd Frazier looking with a fastball on the outside corner to strike out the side in the first. So far, Kuroda has done just what John has asked of him.

BOTTOM 1ST
“We’ll give Cueto’s numbers … they’re fabulous!” is how John opens the bottom of the first of the broadcast before telling us Cueto is 10-6 with a 2.11 ERA, mentioning that Cueto should have a much better record, but has been screwed over by run support (like Kuroda). John does some math to share Cueto’s hits per innings pitched and then exclaims, “I have a great story, which I’ll get to in a minute.” That great story ends up being about Sterling asking Bob Gibson how he lost nine games during his 22-9, 1.12 ERA season in 1968.

Brett Gardner takes a called third strike and goes down looking (also known as a “Gardner”) on a 3-2 pitch. “I don’t really blame Gardner,” John says before sharing his logic that Gardner was looking to walk and happened to get a pitch on the inside corner. “I don’t really blame Gardner … if you can draw a walk … the pitch was on the inside corner … if you can draw a walk maybe the Yankees build a run.”

The Stadium crowd begins to overpower John and Suzyn and that means Derek Jeter, the only right-handed in the lineup, is coming to the plate. John continues to gush over Cueto while Suzyn compares him to Pedro Martinez and Luis Tiant.

Jeter works the count full before going down swinging on a “nasty” sinker down and in. Even with the first two out by way of the K, Gardner and Jeter forced Cueto to throw 12 pitches and that is a small victory against an elite pitcher. (Yes, I’m looking for something to feel good about knowing the Yankees might not score today.)

Jacoby Ellsbury fouls off the first pitch he sees and then …

“The 0-1 … swung on and lined deep down the right-field line … toward the wall … and it is … foul ball! It is off the wall. Didn’t go out. And Ellsbury missed a double by, I guess, inches.”

Ellsbury ends up hitting on a single on 1-2 pitch and even if the Yankees don’t score this inning, they have made Cueto work.

Teixeira lines out to end the inning and Cueto’s pitch count is at 16.

TOP 2ND
Jay Bruce flies out to right field to begin the second and Suzyn jumps into her “Scoreboard Update.” I went back and found what I wrote the last two times about Suzyn’s love for her “Scoreboard Update.”

Suzyn is giving her first scoreboard update of the day. The best part of the scoreboard updates is that John clearly hates them. He hates that his broadcast gets hijacked momentarily and hates that he has to interrupt Suzyn to give the play-by-play. It breaks up his flow and his rhythm and I kind of agree. And maybe the scoreboards can be taken out of the broadcast? I know it would be like taking away someone’s lines in a play in that Suzyn’s airtime would be cut down significantly, but it’s 2011. I don’t think anyone is waiting for Suzyn’s scoreboard updates to find out scores from around the league.

Well, it’s not 2014 and we are three years removed from when I first asked to have the scoreboard updates removed from the broadcast. I’m not sure how many Yankees fans are looking for the Giants-Marlins or Brewers-Nationals score, especially since I would assume only Yankees fans are listening to a Yankees radio broadcast. And if someone did want to know those scores, would they wait for Suzyn Waldman to tell them it or use one of the three billion forms of technology that could instantly give them the score they are looking for.

John only has to interrupt Suzyn twice while she gives the scores around the league, but then she goes into all the scheduled games and the pitching matchups, which irritates John to no end and she can sense it as she starts to race through them as if she is reading the side effects for some new erection drug at the end of a commercial.

“He is nominally the Yankees No. 1 pitcher,” John says of Kuroda, which gets me thinking.

I hadn’t really thought about the idea that Kuroda is the Yankees’ No. 1 pitcher since I have tried not to think about the state of the rotation at all since Masahiro Tanaka went on the diasabled list. But I guess right now, Kuroda would be the No. 1. If the Yankees were in the ALDS and it started today, I would set the rotation as Kuroda, Brandon McCarthy, Shane Greene and David Phelps (I think Girardi would flip Greene and Phelps) and that has to be the worst Yankee postseason rotation ever. That’s infinitely worse than Chien-Ming Wang, Mike Mussina, a 42-year-old Randy Johnson and Jaret Wright in 2006 and much, much worse than Chien-Ming Wang, Andy Pettitte and an injured 44-year-old Roger Clemens in 2007. The only rotation that compares to it happens to be 2004 when the Yankees started Mike Mussina, Jon Lieber, Orlando Hernandez and Kevin Brown against the Red Sox. Hernandez had a 3.30 ERA in 15 starts for the Yankees, but the lowest after that was Brown’s 4.09.

Ryan Ludwick walks, but Brayan Pena flies out and Chris Heisey pops out to end the inning.

BOTTOM 2ND
“McCann has gotten up to .240 and that’s up!” John says and I’m not sure if he is being sincere or sarcastic about Brian McCann’s struggles. The good news is that McCann is 3-for-7 against Cueto in his career and all three hits were home runs.

No home run this time as McCann grounds out. Carlos Beltran follows with a strikeout and Ichiro falls to 0-for-17 with a ground out. This game might be over by 3:15 p.m.

TOP 3RD
It’s 1:44 p.m. now, which is surprising because the game has felt quicker. Suzyn starts the inning by reading the Yankees’ statement in response to the New York Post falsely reporting that the team hiked up ticket prices for Derek Jeter Day on Sept. 7. Suzyn is outraged at the Post’s accusations and puts on her Yankees hat to defend the team against the article since even if the Post is wrong in this case, the team has never doe anything wrong regarding marketing in the past. Like the Yankees would never honor their iconic retiring star three weeks before the end of the season to increase ticket sales and TV ratings for a September afternoon game against the Royals coincidentally on the same day as the first Sunday of the NFL season.

Zack Cosart grounds out for the first out, but Ramon Santiago, the 9-hitter, “rips” a double to right field and I immediately start to get nervous, and rightfully so, about anyone getting into scoring position with Cueto pitching. Why is it always the 9-hitters against the Yankees?

John continues to back up Suzyn and the Yankees by telling those who have a problem with ticket prices, including those on the secondary market by saying, “One thing about ticket prices to game … You don’t have to go” to the game.

John and Suzyn continue voicing their opinions on the Post’s story and you would think the Yankees asked them to pay to get into the Stadium on Sept. 7 with as angry as they are about it.

Hamilton flies out to the track and his long out had me worried as John’s voice began to pick up steam and I thought it was going to be 2-0 Reds.

“And did you know that Santiago didn’t tag?” John asks. No, I didn’t know because I’m listening to the game on the radio and I all about what happens in the game know is what you tell me.

Schumaker walks to put two on with two outs for Frazier, who struck out looking in the first. It’s never good when there is a game-changing and potentially game-ruining at-bat in the second inning, but that’s what the Yankees face with the Reds’ best hitter at the plate and best pitcher on the mound today.

The 0-1 pitch is driven to center field where Ellsbury evidently makes a diving catch after John nearly gives me a heat attack thinking the chances of a three-game Yankees sweep were over.

“He’s (Ellsbury) fabulous. He really is fabulous.”

BOTTOM 3RD
Brian Roberts leads off the inning with a base hit on a 2-1 pitch and here comes the legend to the plate.

“Now batting for the Yankees … Number 33 … Kelly Johnson … Number 33.”

Suzyn is quick to announce, “Kelly Johnson had a good afternoon yesterday,” which only makes me wish even more I was the third man in the booth to rebut her happiness. Because I have been so vocal about wanting Johnson designated for assignment, whenver he does something even remotely good, I get emails and texts and tweets from people saying, “So do you STILL want Kelly Johnson DFA’d?” The answer is “Yes” and always will be “Yes.” I’m wondering if Suzyn sent some of those emails or texts or tweets. And now I’m wondering if John has sent some too after he says, “Kelly Johnson can do some damage.” Damage? What damage? The man has two home runs since May 3! It’s July 20. May 3 was 78 days ago. Kelly Johnson has two home runs in over 11 weeks. That’s essentially half the season.

But back to Suzyn’s point … If anyone is given enough chances they will eventually come through. Whether it’s Johnson now or Randy Winn in 2010 or Nick Swisher in the playoffs … well, never Nick Swisher in the playoffs. But most players when continuously put into the lineup will eventually do “something,” but doing something once every couple weeks isn’t good enough when there are better options on the bench.

Johnson walks and I check my phone to see if anyone from the Kelly Johnson Fan Club has tried to contact me asking if I would like to rethink my membership and there are two on with no outs for the top of the order. Two on and no outs.

“Would you bunt?” John asks. “I would, by the way. I don’t think you get many runs off Cueto.”

No, I wouldn’t bunt with two on and no one out in the SECOND inning of a 0-0 game at Yankee Stadium. This isn’t Johnny Cueto against pre-July Masahiro Tanaka. This is Johnny Cueto against Hiroki Kuroda, who while good, can lose it at any moment in a game. Cueto’s pitch count is climbing rapidly and you have one of the team’s best hitters up. Why would you want to give Cueto a break and give away an out?

Gardner flies out for the first out of the inning. I told you he should have been bunting!

Jeter grounds out to third to put runners on the corners with two outs and you know John is thinking in his head that if he were the Yankees manager they would be 10 games up in the division with his decision making. (And I’m not so sure they wouldn’t be with some of the decisions Girardi has made this year.)

Suzyn takes the chance to throw in, “Kelly Johnson is a terrific baserunner,” in her bid to keep him on the Yankees forever.

Ellsbury walks and the bases are loaded with two outs for Teixeira, who I have zero confidence will do anything in this spot.

Teixeira swings at the first pitch and fouls it off because why wouldn’t you swing at the first pitch following a walk to load the bases against an elite pitcher, who clearly isn’t on top of his today game? Teixeira works the count to 2-2 and Cueto is now at 63 pitches, having recorded only five outs.

John reminds us of what’s at stake with the 2-2 pitch and why Teixeira is likely to see a strike.

“You go 3-2 and then you HAVE to throw a strike.”

Cueto throws a strike and Teixiera looks at it to end the inning.

TOP 4TH
“Scoreboard Update!”

Bruce grounds out to Teixeira for the first out as Suzyn continues to run off the scores from around the league.

Ludwick doubles to put another runner in scoring positions and after the Yankees missed a chance to open up the game in what might be the only chance they get against Cueto in the bottom of the third, I’m now just waiting for the Reds to take a lead they won’t relinquish. And with Brayan Pena, who hit two home runs against David Phelps on Friday night, coming up, I’m beginning to think he would be the perfect person to ruin this Sunday.

Pena strikes out and Heisey grounds out to short on the first pitch to strand Ludwick at second and for now I can breathe easily.

“At the end of three-and-a-half, no score on the New York Yankees radio network driven by Jeep.”

I’m not sure why Sterling always says “no score” when it’s 0-0 since there is a score and the score is 0-0, but not even that minor pet peeve can upset me after Kuroda leaves another runner in scoring positon and is at just 57 pitches through four.

BOTTOM 4TH
Brian McCann opens the inning with a base hit to right field, and according to John, McCann has been hitting .316 since June 29. Even with 80 percent of the Opening Day rotation on the disabled list, the Yankees don’t have a chance in the “second half” if McCann and Beltran don’t start hitting the way they were expected to when they signed $80 million and $45 million deals respectively. And if they do, in this year’s AL East, I think the Yankees could very well get by and reach the postseason with a makeshift rotation as long as their offense is in order.

Beltran hits a 3-2 pitch into a double play to erase McCann and Ichiro turns his 0-for-17 into an 0-for-18. The Yankees might have missed their chance to get to Johnny Cueto.

TOP 5TH
Cozart hits a ground ball to second, which Roberts boots for his ninth error of the season. Sure, it’s only his ninth (which is a lot when you’re coming from seeing Robinson Cano every day) and that means he obviously doesn’t make an error every game, but it does feel like he makes an error every game.

Santiago wastes no time laying down a sacrifice bunt to move Cozart to second as Dan Martin of the New York Post monotones his way through the fifth-inning segment reminding everyone why he went into print media and not broadcasting and why this segment should also be cut from the broadcast.

Hamilton pops up in foul territory for the second out and Kuroda is one out away from stranding another runner at second and bailing out Roberts, who is unlikely to make up for mistake at the plate if Cozart does score.

Schumaker makes Roberts pay with a two-out hit to score Cozart and give the Reds a 1-0 lead and even with the sun shining on my face, a beer in my hand and baseball in my ears, my mood has suddenly changed into the day-after-Labor Day depression.

Frazier grounds to short on the first pitch, but the damage has been done.

BOTTOM 5TH
Roberts makes up for his costly error by striking out to lead off the fifth, but fan-favorite Kelly Johnson walks following a seven-pitch at-bat. Gardner walks on six pitches and with just one out in the fifth, Cueto is now at 94 pitches, which makes me at least a little happier.

The crowd start to get loud as Jeter walks to the plate and Sterling tells us what’s at stake if the Yankees can’t tie the game or take the lead before the late innings.

“You don’t want to go to the ninth inning down,” John says by alluding to the fact that Aroldis Chapman would be waiting in the bullpen and is well rested, having not pitched all weekend. But do you

Jeter delivers on a 1-1 pitch and Sterling is jacked up.

“Here comes the 1-1 .. swung on and lined to right field … there is a base hit … Kelly Johnson rounding third … Bruce fell down … the throw into the infield … and all the way to third goes Gardner. It is a base hit and an RBI for the Captain! EL CAPITAN!”

Before John said “… and an RBI for the Captain” how was I supposed to know that Johnson even scored on the hit? Oh well. Tie game!

“That was worth the price of a ticket for most people here,” Suzyn responds.

With Gardner on third, Jeter on first and one out, John goes over every possibility and I mean ever possibility for Ellsbury to get the go-ahead run in from third, and Ellsbury takes the easy way with a base hit on a 3-2 pitch. Gardner scores, Jeter goes to third, the Yankees take a 2-1 lead and there’s still just one out for the heart of the order.

Unfortunately the heart of the order beats like that of someone who has lived off the McDonald’s value menu, Slim Jims, hot dogs, and Mountain Dew for 16 years as Teixeira and McCann strike out to end the inning.

TOP 6TH
“Scoreboard Update!”

John recognizes that other AL East teams are winning today after they all won on Saturday and says, “The Yankees would be smart to win today.”

Kuroda needs 10 pitches to eventually strike out Bruce and I’m beginning to think we are at the end of the line for Kuroda’s day after watching last Sunday’s game slip away because of a tired starter (Chase Whitley) before the rain came. If there’s ever a day to go to the bullpen early, it’s today. But I know Girardi wont.

Ludwick strikes out and swinging and Pena grounds out to end the inning. I guess Kuroda isn’t done after all.

BOTTOM 6TH
Beltran strikes out to start the sixth against left-hander Manny Parra, but Ichiro singles to break his 0-for-18 slide, which brings a smile to my face. Ichiro isn’t supposed to be an everyday player, but with Beltran unable to play right field or throw a baseball and Brian Cashman deciding Alfonso Soraino should be designated for assignment over some other players, Ichiro has been put into a regular role. And like Soriano, Ichiro might be playing a role he is destined to fail at. He is now 40 and showed earlier in the season how effective he can be when used as a fourth outfielder, but some more intelligent general managerial and managerial decisions have made Ichiro the everyday right fielder.

Roberts singles to left field in an attempt make up for his earlier error (it doesn’t) and there are two on and one out for the immortal Kelly Johnson.

Nevermind. Johnson gets called back to the bench for Zelous Wheeler, who should have been starting the game to begin with (or Solarte). Suzyn tells John how Zelous says his mom just made up his unique name and John sarcastically responds, “His siblings are Joe and Bob and Frank.” Wheeler strikes out looking.

Gardner hits a grounder to third, which is booted by Santiago (I guess were are now even on errors) to load the bases with two outs for Jeter. Parra won’t be allowed to face Jeter and Bryan Price brings in right-hander Sam LeCure.

“The bases are F.O.B.,” John says coming out of the break from the pitching change. “Full of Bombers.” (I actually don’t mind this acronym from John. It’s not as good as David Cone’s “the bases are drunk,” but it’s not terrible.)

Jeter grounds out to short on a 2-1 pitch to keep the score the same: 2-1.

TOP 7TH
Heisey flies out to left to open the inning with an out for Kuroda and Cozarts pops out to second. Two outs and no one on and Joe Girardi is taking out Kuroda for Dellin Betances. I like this move because if Kuroda were to give up the game-tying run this inning, after I thought he was tiring last inning, I would crush Girardi for waiting too long. It’s never too early to bring in Betances.

Kuroda’s final line: 6.2 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K and 99 pitches. A great start to the “second half” for Kuroda after what happened at the end of his second half last year.

“We knew that Betances would come in in the eighth,” John says. “I’m a little surprised two outs and no one on for Santagio.

“This is the only thing I can think of, John,” Suzyn says. ” He had just hit 100 pitches and Joe maybe is thinking ‘What if it’s a 10-pitch at-bat?’ Maybe it’s 10 more pitches. They’re being very careful with Kuroda. They don’t want him to lose his stuff by the end of the year. Maybe that’s it.”

There’s just so much here I don’t know where to begin. If Suzyn thinks that Girardi took Kuroda out because of the fear of a 10-pitch at-bat then I don’t even know what to say. And if Girardi actually did take Kuroda out for the fear of a 10-pitch at-bat then I think I need to go off the grid and the Yankees need to find a managerial replacement today. How often do 10-pitch at-bats happen? What’s the chance of a 10-pitch at-bat happening? Is there a place that offers odds on something like this because I have a lot of money that needs to be made.

The part about the Yankees not wanting to burn Kuroda out is sadly 100 percent true. Kuroda is 39 and is on a one-year deal and likely will retire or go back to Japan after this season. The Yankees should be using his arm up until it’s hanging from his body. Not only to get the most use out of him, but because they are trailing in both the division and wild-card races and need to win games. We don’t need Girardi not using Kuroda the way he didn’t use Mariano Rivera, so he can now play catch with his kids or the way he is giving Derek Jeter rest with only now 65-plus games left in his baseball career.

“No,” John responds, “I think you’re on to something.” (He sounds sarcastic. I’m hoping he was being sarcastic.)

Betances gives up a single to Santiago (once again the 9-hitter) and Suzyn offers the closest thing to “You can’t predict baseball” that we have heard all day.

“Strange game this baseball.”

John starts to think about what Suzyn said some more.

“I really think you’re onto something, Suzyn,” John says. “I think that was it.” (Please tell me you’re just effing with Suzyn, John. Please tell me you aren’t serious.)

Hamilton strikes out on a 1-2 curve and the Yankees are six outs away from sweeping the Reds.

BOTTOM 7TH
Hamilton loses an Ellsbury fly ball in the sun as John screams, “He lost the ball! He lost the ball!” and Ellsbury coasts into second with a “double.”

Teixeira flies out to right field as John gets excited and the Stadium gets excited, but Ellsbury moves to third with one out. McCann grounds out to first for the second out and Ellsbury is held at third as “the heart of the order” continues to barely beat.

Beltran walks with Ichiro on-deck and Suzyn gives us LeCure’s thought process.

“I think this is probably a good trade in LeCure’s mind,” Suzyn says. “Ichiro for Beltran.”

Ichiro grounds out and LeCure made the right trade.

It’s been exactly one month (June 20) since I was listening to John and Suzyn and Suzyn was saying how Joe Torre used to like to get above .500 in increments of five games. On June 20, the Yankees were five games over .500. They lost that game 8-0 and are 10-13 since. Six outs to go from getting three games over .500.

TOP 8TH
Schumaker leads off the inning with a single and with Frazier up, Schumaker tries to steal second, but he gets caught in a rundown. And if you think John Sterling calling a home run for a foul ball or a foul ball for a home run is incredible then you have never heard him give the play-by-play for a rundown.

“And there he goes .. and they have him trapped. They have him trapped. A throw to Teixeira … now back to Roberts who runs him back to first … now … back to … Betances … who tags him out. Well, they didnt do it very well, but they got the man. Betances at the end tagged him, who flipped to Jeter who tagged him.” So Betances tagged him and Jeter tagged him? Double play? Real life? The actual play was recorded a caught stealing, 1-3-4-1-6, so John basically nailed it.

One out with Frazier up.

“You see the stat?” John asks. “In Betances’ last 24 at-bats against right-handed hitters, right-handed hitters are 0-for-24.”

Two pitches later, Frazier hits a home run to tie the game at 2. So much for that stat.

“You know what it does, this happens all the time, it takes the win away from Kuroda,” John says angrily. Who cares about Kuroda’s personal record? Yes, he deserved better, but I don’t care about what Kuroda’s record is, I care about the Yankees’ record, as does every Yankees fan and as should John and Suzyn.

Bruce grounds out for the second out.

“You do have to feel bad for Kuroda,” Suzyn adds. “Every single time he pitches his heart out.”

Ludwick flies out to right field to end the inning.

BOTTOM 8TH
The home run was the first Betances has allowed since May 17 and just the second all year.

“I guess Robertson would pitch the ninth” John suggests. I would hope so unless Joe Girardi would like to lose even more games this year without using Robertson because the Yankees DON’T HAVE THE LEAD!

Jonathan Broxton strikes out Roberts and Wheeler singles to left. With the go-ahead run on base, Gardner pops up and Jeter grounds out. The day-after-Labor Day depression feeling has returned.

TOP 9TH
I don’t trust the Yankees in extra-inning games, mainly because I don’t trust Girardi’s bullpen management in extra-inning games, so it would be nice if the Yankees could win it in the ninth because they would have already used their best two relievers if it goes to the 10th.

“Just in case the Reds take the lead,” John says, “They have Chapman up.”

“Isn’t it funny how it works out?” Suzyn asks. “The eighth inning, which is Betances’ inning, he had the big hitters. He had Frazier, Bruce, Ludwick and Robertson has the bottom of the order here. It’s funny how sometimes that works out.”

“Yeah the eighth inning is sometimes more important than the ninth,” John answers. “I agree.”

And I agree too. And that’s why set innings for relievers shouldn’t exist. But that’s a story for another day.

Robertson gets Pena to ground out to second, strikes out Heisey and gets Cozart to pop up to first for an easy 1-2-3 inning.

BOTTOM 9TH
John starts the ninth with his own personal scouting report on Chapman.

“If you’re wondering what does he throw … he throws hard. Really hard.”

Suzyn has left the booth to go down to the field to get the Player of the Game once the game ends and John loves every second of having the booth and the game to himself.

“The Yankees could have avoided this,” John says and he’s right. They were five outs away from not seeing Aroldis Chapman for three games and an entire weekend and now they not only have to see him, but they are faced with possibly going to extra innings without their best two relievers.

Suzyn chimes in from the third-base camera well, which must upset John that she is still on the air.

Ellsbury singles to left field on the ninth pitch of his at-bat after fouling off fastballs at 102, 101 and 100. All nine pitches were fastballs and all nine were between 100 and 102. His single came on one at 101.

I don’t think Teixeira has a chance here, but I hope I’m wrong.

Ellsbury steals second.

“We remarked how many foul homers Teixeira hits because he’s too quick,” John says, “Well, maybe against Chapman he will hit the ball fair.”

John starts to go over all the possibilities of how Teixeira can move Ellsbury over to third, but let’s be honest, none of them are happening.

A WILD PITCH! A WILD PITCH! A WILD PITCH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! A wild pitch and Ellsbury moves to third with no outs.

“Well, let’s face it,” John says. “If the Yankees don’t win this game now, they’ll have stubbed their toe.” That’s a nice way to put it, John. I would have used a different way of putting it, but we’ll go with “stubbed their toe.”

Teixeira strikes out. Of course he does.

“1-0 to McCann … and the pitch .. swung on … a high fly ball to shallow right … coming in is Bruce … and … the ball is DROPPED! THE BALL DROPPED! BASE HIT! ELLSBURY SCORES! BALLGAME OVER! YANKEES WIN! THEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN!”

After John gave his replay play-by-play of the play (or what every other play-by-play man does as a play is happening in real time) he went on to say, “Isn’t that amazing? I mean isn’t that amazing?”

Eighty percent of the Yankees’ Opening Day rotation is on the disabled list and with 65 games left the division is there for them to win. So yes, John, it’s amazing.

Blogs

Jul 12, 2012

An Old Man Fell Down the Stairs in the Bleachers

Sheriff Tom tells about how he became a Bleacher Creature at Yankee Stadium and what happened to change the way he used his scorecards during games in Section 39.

It all started because an old guy fell down the stairs. Thankfully, he wasn’t hurt. If he was, I would be keeping it to myself.

So how does this fit into the story of me, the bleachers and how I ended up documenting 600 games worth of nonsense from Section 39 in the right-field bleachers of Yankee Stadium through the 90s and vaunted championship run (most of which was totally unrelated to the actual game on the field)? And how does it bring me here?

It was April of 1993. I was young, wild and possibly in hiding at the time. New to the city and trying to figure out how someone who hadn’t yet charmed or bought anyone off yet to be his friend could go somewhere without standing out and being “that guy.” Ah, how about the Yankee game?

In random trips to the Stadium before my solo ventures, I would sit in the uppers – the old “top eight rows of the Stadium have the cheapest seat” gag. I’d be behind home plate, in another stratosphere, closer to planes up above than Matt Nokes on the field. Well, on my own accord, in 1993 I bought a bleacher seat (probably because all my scant cash was going towards single guy staples like macaroni and cheese and tuna fish) not knowing anything of what wonders went on within.

So there I sat with my scorecard in the bleachers. People sure seemed to know and, for the most part, like one another out there. I immediately felt left out of the loop. I saw Tina, the Queen of the bleachers who has since become a lifelong friend, holding court. (Trust me, if you have been in the bleachers, you know her.) These were the general admission days, and if you weren’t in, you weren’t in. A few wayward souls were steered clear to seats on the periphery, as outsiders weren’t welcome.

I watched this dance with mild amusement, and sort of wondered what exactly made these people boss. I had my scorecard and I was sitting there, keeping to myself for possibly the last time ever, when I heard the unmistakable sound of … song. What the hell? These people were singing. I knew all about drunken bursts of song since I grew up in a volunteer fire department family, and spent many nights hearing the “Horse’s Ass” ditty on the bus home from a parade, but here I was in the seats at the venerated Yankee Stadium, hearing people singing my beloved “Horse’s Ass” song. I knew the words, so I joined in with gusto. Then, out of the blue a portly sort got up and screamed, “Box seats suck, jerkoff!” I was enamored. They had me at “Box Seats Suck!”

And then the old man fell down the stairs.

Before this night my scorecards were kept neat and tidy with succinct game-scoring action, and trivial facts like “sunny but chilly” or “Cap Night here at the Stadium!” How timid and staid I was. Well, it all changed on this first night in the bleachers when this old man fell down the stairs. He was up as soon as he went down, steered to a seat and fawned upon with such fervor by a couple of young women that I started mulling over the idea of falling down the steps myself. Anyway, I felt a need to document this. So I wrote, “old man falls down the stairs.” I then checked my work, liked what I saw, and decided to fill in the columns of my scorecards with such factoids going forward.

That same night I saw fit to mention we were told in no uncertain terms to “STAY OFF THE SEATS!” by security when we stood up to do some such thing. Considering what was to come over the years on the seats not involving sitting on them (from Creatures making speeches or doing stripteases to me dancing in wild gyrations or reading children’s books to a rapt audience to people doing tumblesaults or using them as a diving board to seats below), this is now amusing to me on so many levels. I’m sure I had a grin as I documented that Brian McRae was serenaded with chants of “Daddy’s Little Girl!” I pointed out “a big fat guy” in the box seats, and I didn’t even bother cracking a joke, which was beyond lazy of me. I just documented he was there for posterity. Ruminating on this now, I wonder how many guys scoring in the box seats look over now and see me out in the bleachers of today and write out “big fat guy in the bleachers” – you know, the student becoming the master sort of thing.

When the Daddy’s Boy himself made a snag on a Pat Kelly liner, I gave out a “star” on the play, which I had always done on my scorecards, but my new unabashed self, freed by the carefree atmosphere of the bleachers added a descriptive, “an unbelievable leave-his-feet catch.” My scorecard, before my very eyes, was transforming itself from a neat archive of a relaxing night in the park to a random spate of verse, jokes and remarks with snark. And what a game to start my run with.

That night I learned, along with joy, a sense of community, and a chance to sharpen my rapier wit … rage! The freakin’ Yankees had a chunky 4-0 lead going into the ninth behind eight shutout innings by Jimmy Key, and Steve Howe and Steve Farr COUGHED THE DAMN THING UP! This was the metamorphosis for a snide that would used in the future of “Oh, here comes the bullpen … HOWE FARR will they hit it?”

So yeah, Howe comes in to start the ninth, gives up a single to Wally Joyner, a double to Hubie Brooks of all people, and a bases-clearing double by Felix Jose to make it 4-2. That is when Steve Farr came ambling in. Everything from trepidation to menace hung in the air. And sure enough, in no time at all, we are tied, as Mike McFarlane hoisted a homer. I sat in a sea of boos and groans, stewing in rage. After some more assorted lunacy and two outs that gave us hope we may get through this turmoil, Brian McRae got the last laugh on us with a dinky infield single that somehow plated a run, and the Royals were up.

I inexplicably had one of those doofy souvenir bats that soon went the way of the dodo when people figured out they made nifty weapons, and I not so inexplicably slammed it on the empty seat next to me (there were lots of those about as only 14,091 fans were listed as attendees that night, quite possibly the smallest crowd I was ever a part of) and broke the damn thing. As Farr left the field to a cascade of boos and I surveyed my splintered wood, someone shouted with aplomb, “Joey Gasoline! Fireman of the year!” That too made the card.

And I’ve never looked back. Over the next few games I moved closer and closer to this inner circle that I had watched with a wary eye. I was soon recognized, and from what people recall, respectful. I started adding my own quips to the sea of sarcasm, joining in the songs, chastising the meek as they shuffled up the steps, trying to figure out where their “general admission seat” was located. I’d point out the furtive Boston fan peeking over the upper deck rail, sparking off a booming chant for him to jump, which would then win me backslaps and handshakes for pointing out this chance for us to all be merry. I began chatting with the likes of Animal, Captain Bob, “Big Nose” George (The Little Drummer Boy), Tina, the legendary cowbell man Ali Ramirez, Fat Daddy Chico and it went on and on. Soon I was sitting right in there, helping Tina hold the seats for the established regulars, looking forward to the day that was surely coming where I too would have a seat held for me while I glugged a couple of last brews outside.

Many times over the years I would hear the question, “How the hell did you sit through 600 baseball games?” This question would be asked with that tinge of derision one would get as if the question were “Why would you pick up garbage on the side of the road if you weren’t forced to?” The thing is not only did I love baseball, which bought me to the bleachers of Yankee Stadium in the first place and has me watching Kansas City-Seattle games on the MLB package to this day, watching a game in the bleachers was akin to going to a bar where you knew your best friends, and other characters out and about would surely be there. There would be lies and laughs, jokes and songs, fights and flirts, but the thing was there was a baseball game going on right in front of us. What a selling point!

Night after night security was busy admonishing the rowdy, escorting the drunken pugilists to the gate under a canopy of hoots and hollers. Outfielders would sneak a peek over their shoulders, only to be buried in a barrage of insults and just plain old-fashioned boos. Fathers with your young kids would go from covering their children’s ears to the naughty ditties to patting us on the back for a particularly funny line. It was a wonderland. Throw in the beers, and in those early-days cigars, and we were the proverbial pig in a poke. Tickets were cheaper then (Hell, I’m thinking they were six bucks when I started going) and the beers were cheaper too! If I could afford them back then, anyone could!

I learned the wonders of going in for batting practice (remember beer was sold in the bleachers at one time, but once beer was banned for a stint that lasted a few years it was the end of me and a bunch of cronies making it in before first pitch) and hooting and hollering with players from the road. In times I will recant tales of “Dancin’” Tony Phillips, Bo Jackson, Ben McDonald, the late John Marzano, the foul-tempered (and fouler mouthed) Bobby Ayala and the likes of Todd Jones and Phil Nevin, who attempted to draw a few Creatures into actual fisticuffs before a game. What a place! I saw the phenomena of “holding seats for friends” (in a world where Tina ruled with an iron fist) and there was even a game where someone commandeered some yellow police tape to rope off our section within a section to make sure the friends could sit together.

In time I will discuss what really killed the rowdiness of the bleachers (and yes, the bleachers as I knew them are dead). While the banning of beer in the late 90s was a big part of killing the spirit, it was the doing away with the general admission seating that blew the whole thing up. Back then you sat in your gaggle of goons, where you could share a private joke without making it public by shouting it four rows and five seats to the back and left. I have never laughed louder in my life than the nights I’d be there in a row with Big Tone Capone, Grover, Gang Bang Steve, Angry Teddy and Donahuge, all in a line like the Little Rascals on a curb, but firing them off one after another. And, lucky you, the results of these ended up in what are now five binders of scorecards on a shelf in my closet, preserved forevermore. I could (and I have) randomly pulled these books out in times of dismay to sneak a guffaw.

So here is where Scorecard Memories comes to play. Over the years, starting on a message board that became a ghost town, I documented the storied years of 1993-1995 in Section 39. In time I may revisit them here, and you will surely get the stories in a fireside chat style regardless. But I’m going to pick it up here in 1996 for a myriad of reasons, and of course, 1996 holds a special place in the heart of any Yankees fan. It’s a great place to start to share the bleacher journey with many of you for the first time. But even more so this is when true characters came creeping out of the woodwork as I had in 1993. The jokes were funnier and more biting. Security was as lax as ever and just about every single night an astounding array of lunacy prevailed. We had a World Series to see, a no-hitter and a tragic loss of one of our own out there in Section 39 when longtime cowbell man Ali Ramirez passed away that May. The emotion that came out of that, reached a crescendo on the night Gooden tossed his no-hitter on the same day Ali was laid to rest and it brought us together as a family and created a bond that has morphed into the most dysfunctional, and dare I say the BEST DAMN FAMILY out there.

At my wedding I had a series of family tables, a friends table, and a Bleacher Creature section. Since my run kicked off in the early 90s, folks have come and gone, but more have stayed. Couples have met and broken up. New relationships have flourished and some have married and there are now Bleacher Babies running around. I myself met my own wife out there, and have a Bleacher Baby of my own.

This month is the 10^th Annual Ali Ramirez Bleacher Creature Softball Tournament held on the Heritage Field on the grounds of Yankee Stadium. Over the years, 90 different people with bleacher connections (as in “sat there and became a part of this” connections and not “I have connections out there” connections) have played in this game, and another couple of hundred or more have come out to see the games and join in the day, and the inevitable trips to the bar afterwards.

So what am I going to be doing here? I’m going to take you through a stint in the stands, recounting seasons and baseballian memories through the art of the drunken scorecard. I’m going to be regaling you with all kinds of madcap capers involving my Bleacher Creature friends, from road trips to vaunted destinations like Toronto and Baltimore, Staten Island and Coney Island (where I brandished my scorecards). Your average scorecard would contain anywhere from a half-dozen to half-a-hundred witty cracks, and allusions to fights, bottle throwing, drunkards passing out or falling down the stairs, ejections, folks in costumes, flashing women and some of the strangest characters ever seen in public. I will intersperse these accounts with abbreviated game recaps, to stir up memories of names gone by like Yankees stars Mike Gallego and Mark Hutton, to visiting wunderkinds like John Jaha and Troy O’Leary.

Why would anyone care about bleacher scorecards (even ones with jokes) from over 15 years ago? For one thing, funny jokes are funny at all times, and who doesn’t like baseball stories? They tell stories about the barnstorming Cincinnati Red Stockings! I may stir up some memories of childhood heroes and guys you used to laugh at. There will be snapshot style profiles of luminaries of the time. There will be tales of on-field brawls, triple plays and a whole ton of mystery outs (or as Phil Rizzuto used to score them, “ww” for “wasn’t watching”). You will simply be amazed at some of the arcane factoids I shall present between the oddballs who threw out first pitches or sang the anthem here and there (including Barry “Greg Brady” Williams and our own Suzyn Waldman, who belted it out in the mid-90s before we realized she was theater trained, and not just annoying) to absolutely doofy polls taken in the seats like “What would you rather smell like: pee or poo?” and “Who was your favorite character in Winnie the Pooh? (in which Christopher Robin inexplicably got three votes). The fun never stopped.

The Bleacher Creatures have had road trips to just about every city in the baseball world, though I pretty much only made it to Boston, Baltimore, Shea and Toronto, and you’ll hear those stories too. And oh, the get-togethers in the bars, pregame hangouts in the bodegas and the park and even trips to the clink. There will be fights and affairs and some names will be changed to protect the guilty. But you’re gonna hear it all along with how I morphed into the “Drunk Guy That Does the Tom Tom Dance on the Benches” while wearing a plastic toy Sheriff badge.

The next time you hear from me it will be April of 1996, and you will be in the bleachers. Enjoy the ride.

Blogs • Yankees

Jun 5, 2012

A Sunday with John and Suzyn

It’s always entertaining to listen to John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman broadcast a Yankees game. But it’s even better when that game is the final game of an 11-day, nine-game road trip.

Last June with the Brewers at the Stadium for a three-game series, which the Yankees would sweep, I decided to listen to John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman while I wrote down my thoughts from their broadcast. I have wanted to do it again since, but wasn’t sure when the time would be right. With the debut of this site and the Yankees wrapping up an 11-day, nine-game road trip, and figuring John and Suzyn would be at their “best,” Sunday seemed like the perfect time to do it again.

Here’s what transpired on Sunday afternoon at Comerica Park…

TOP 1ST
If there’s ever a “You can’t predict baseball” matchup for John and Suzyn, this is it. Justin Verlander, the reigning AL MVP and Cy Young winner against Phil Hughes, the reigning The Only Reason We Still Believe He Is A Starter Is Because We Picked Him In The First Round Eight Years Ago winner. I have already sarcastically tweeted that I’m excited for this Phil Hughes start in my attempt at flipping this around Leon Black style from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

The last time I did this there wasn’t a single “You can’t predict baseball” reference. That would be like Phil Hughes making a start without giving up a home run. It just doesn’t happen. And if it happens again today it would be monumental. There’s no way you can pick two random games to listen to an entire broadcast from John and Suzyn and get a “You can’t predict baseball” no-no in back-to-back games nearly a year apart. It’s impossible.

I said it already, but I think it’s important to say again that is the last game of an 11-day, nine-game road trip for the Yankees and it’s a day game and a getaway day game following a devastating walk-off loss from about 14 hours ago. In other words, this has all of the makings of a recipe for disaster. Did I mention that it’s Phil Hughes against Justin Verlander?

Suzyn: “And as the Captain, Derek Jeter, steps up to the plate, stepping up to the microphone is the voice of the New York Yankees … here is John Sterling.”

John: “Well, Suzyn, I thank you.”

And before John can even give Verlander’s numbers…

John: “Swung on and hit in the air to right field and deep … back goes Boesch on the track at the wall … SHE’S GONE! Oh, what a beginning! The captain homers the opposite way to right field on Verlander’s first pitch! The first-ball fastball he hit over the right field stands. El Capitan! He homers and the Yankees take a 1-0 lead! And Suzyn does that ever underscore about how you can’t predict baseball?”

Suzyn: “You cannot predict baseball!”

Well, that takes care of me worrying about not hearing “You can’t predict baseball.”

Justin Verlander might be the best pitcher on the planet, but he doesn’t really scare me as much as rookie lefties do against the Yankees or any pitcher making his Major League debut. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true, and I bet I’m not the only one that thinks this way. The Yankees have now scored in the first inning in each of their last five games against Verlander and six of the last seven if you include the ALDS. If they can find a way to win today they will be 2-0 against Verlander this year. Give me Verlander over the 21-year-old lefty that looks like he’s 15 making his Major League debut on Sunday Night Baseball in Yankee Stadium any day of the week.

Curtis Granderson walks on four pitches and after the count goes to 1-2 on A-Rod and John gets into some more about predicting baseball…

“It’s funny … you can talk baseball … you can have the experts … you can have predictions … analyze it … I’d like to know the person who felt that Jeter would homer on the first pitch off Verlander.”

A-Rod walks, and the Yankees have first and second and no one out.

“Here’s Cano and the pitch is … in the dirt … it gets away from Santos! Well, runners at second and third and now if the Yankees make the right kind of outs they can actually take a 3-0 lead. I know he’s a tough pitcher … he’s the toughest!”

John gives a recap of what’s happened and then Suzyn corrects his previous call.

Suzyn: “And he just gave him a passed ball on that because that ball did not hit the dirt. That ball was bounced off of Santos’ glove … he’s not a great catcher.

John: “No…”

Wild pitch? Passed ball? In the dirt? Off a glove? Ah, who cares?

The inning ends with the Yankees leading 2-0. Hughes blew a 3-0 lead in the bottom of the first inning in his last start, so I’m setting the over/under at 1.5 innings until the Tigers tie the game or take the lead, and once this happens, how badly will John and Suzyn cover for him? Then again, the Yankees lead 2-0 against Justin Verlander and I have already heard the word “predict” several times and we haven’t even played a full inning. Can it possibly get any better than this? Should I just turn the game off now?

BOTTOM 1ST
Four Sundays ago I did a retro recap of Hughes’ start against the Royals for WFAN.com in an attempt to find out if Hughes belongs in the rotation and to find out just what Phil Hughes is since he’s now in his sixth season in the majors, and no one really knows if he should be part of the rotation or the bullpen. Hughes pitched his first quality start of the year in that game and then went on a little run for a few weeks before the Angels embarrassed him in front of his family and friends last week. I hope I can have the same impact on the game I did four Sundays ago.

John introduces Phil Hughes and his numbers by saying Hughes “has pitched much better of late.” What? Is this real life? This is Hughes’ 11th start of the year. He has three quality starts so far, and in his last outing against the Angels he gave away a 3-0 lead in the first inning and allowed 11 hits and seven earned runs in 5 1/3 innings. But hey, he’s been much better of late!

Hughes retires Quintin Berry and Danny Worth.

“There are two away … here is Mag … I was going to say Magglio Ordonez. Here is Miguel Cabrera!”

I guess it’s hard to get on John for trying to activate Magglio Ordonez and hit him third in the Tigers lineup since he is at the park today and since Miguel and Magglio both begin with the letter “M.”

Cabrera walks and a passed ball allows him to move to second with two outs.

John: “Now first base is open, so you can pitch carefully to Fielder.”

I’m not sure that’s the best advice, John. This is Phil Hughes pitching, not CC Sabathia. I don’t think we want to be giving free passes in the first inning with the dangerous Yankee killer Delmon Young on deck. But Hughes has been “much better of late,” so what do I know?

Hughes retires Fielder to end the inning.

TOP 2ND
Nick Swisher singles to lead off the second inning bringing up Eric Chavez.

John: “Verlander deals… swung on and popped in the air to left … going back is Kelly … on the track … leaps … and he’s made another catch! Last night he robbed Teixeira of a homer … this time I’d say he robbed Chavez of a double! That ball went a lot further than I ever thought!”

I’ll say it went a lot further than being “popped in the air to left.”

It does feel like I’m using a cheat sheet by watching the game muted on YES while listening to John and Suzyn just to see how good of a job they are doing. (I’m sure Michael Kay wasn’t exactly all over that Chavez out either.) On a side note: Don Kelly reminds me of David Murphy.

The replay shows the ball clearly would have bounced and hit the wall, but that doesn’t stop Suzyn from saying, “I think that would have been a home run” despite her seeing the replay.

Russell Martin walks as the fifth Yankee to reach in the first two innings and Suzyn adds, “I cannot picture a game when I have seen Justin Verlander like this.” Since I’m giving out doppelgangers (I feel like Michael Kay talking about Paul Byrd as Kelsey Grammer and Jeff Niemann as Jeff Daniels) well Justin Verlander has always reminded me of Jason Lee. Stillwater, anyone? “Fever Dog!”

BOTTOM 2ND
Suzyn is giving her first scoreboard of the day, so I decided to go back to the last time I did this to see what I said about Suzyn and her scoreboards.

Change “2011” to “2012” and I could have just reused that whole thing.

Phil Hughes has terrible body language when he throws a ball. It’s so noticeable and I can’t think of anyone acting that way after they miss their spot, and it looks ridiculous. A two-out hit against Hughes prevents us from seeing our first 1-2-3 inning of the game.

John: “Hey, there’s no question about Hughes’ arm. He began the season terribly and he has pitched much better in the last few weeks.”

Why does John feel the need to always build Hughes’ confidence and self-esteem? He can’t hear you, John! And there are a lot of questions about Hughes’ arm, mainly because of the way he has pitched this season. Was I the only one that watched Hughes pitch in Anaheim last Monday?

TOP 3RD
The Yankees take a 2-0 lead into the third and the first pitch to Granderson is a ball.

John: “He really can’t throw strike one … and this is Justin Verlander we’re talking about! It’s a funny game.”

The scoreboard screen has stopped working at Comerica Park and this can only mean chaos for John and Suzyn.

John: “We can’t give you a pitch count. That pitch count has stopped. We’ll find out later for you.”

Suzyn: “It said 39.”

John: “No, no … it started at 39.”

Suzyn: “Oh!”

John: “The pitch to A-Rod is low and the count is 2-0.”

Suzyn: “OK, 39 and it was 3 and 2 … and he struck him out…”

John: “Right, so that’s…”

Suzyn: “So that’s 45 … and two … 47…”

John: “The pitch is a strike. Also the scoreboard has stopped. I gotta find a different place for the count.”

Suzyn: “I guess you’re going to have to look at the monitor here.”

And then on the 3-1 pitch to A-Rod…

John: “And the pitch is swung on and lined to deep left … that ball is HIGH … it is FAR … IT IS GONE! Over the inner fence and over the original fence! Way up in the crowd … what a shot! An A-Bomb from A-Rod, and the Yankees take a 3-0 lead! And Suzyn you could hear the crack of the bat from up here … you can’t hit a ball a lot further except if you’re Miguel Cabrera.”

Suzyn: “No. That was the ninth homer of the year for Alex and … you knew for it … and Verlander knew as soon as he hit it also. You could see Don Kelly take a couple of steps to his left and Berry turn around, but that ball was gone from the second he it.”

Cano and Teixeira are retired, but the Yankees lead 3-0.

BOTTOM 3RD
John: “Our fervent wishes that the board would come back. It makes it somewhat tough.”

With one out, Berry lays down a bunt and is thrown out by Chavez in what might be the most accurate Sterling call in 15 years. He honestly couldn’t have done a better job on the play.

“The pitch … Berry bunts toward third … fielded by Chavez … throws … IN TIME for the out.”

Worth walks with two outs preventing the first 1-2-3 inning of the game and it brings up Miguel Cabrera or “CabrerA” as Sterling likes to say. Hughes gets him to fly out to right and it’s still 3-0 Yankees after three.

TOP 4TH
John: “You know one thing Suzyn, you gave the stat before … when they don’t hit a home run, the Yankees are 0-12. Well, they’ve hit two homers today.”

Suzyn “Right.”

John: “Hahahaha. We’ll see if that holds up.”

And…

John: “You know I think what bothers the Yankees and their followers … here is Verlander’s pitch … swung on and hit in the air to right … Boesch is back … in front of the track … and he makes the catch and there’s one away. I think what bothers, Suzyn, the Yankees and their followers and the broadcasters … look at this lineup against a righty when you have Ibanez, Swisher and Chavez … 6, 7 and 8 and the Yankees never hit or don’t hit much with the bases loaded or with men on base.”

Raul Ibanez flies out to lead off the inning.

John: “Hey, the scoreboard’s back.”

Suzyn: “Yes, it is.”

Swisher walks and Verlander is at 63 pitches with 33 balls and he has just 10 outs.

Chavez singles, but Russell Martin lines into a double play to Cabrera, and John reminds us, “That’s baseball though.”

BOTTOM 4TH
Hughes’ first pitch to Prince Fielder is a curveball that finds Fielder’s perfect stroke and then goes about as far as any home run at Comerica Park has gone to right field, and Fielder knows it as he slams down his bat and watches his work.

Suzyn: “Boy was there no doubt about that.”

Young grounds out and here’s Suzyn with the scoreboard update just in case you wanted to know that Nationals-Braves score.

Hughes bounces back to retire the next three after Fielder’s leadoff home run and keep the Yankees’ lead at 3-1.

John: “One run, one hit … the Fielder home run, which went so far it should count for two … at the end of four … 4-1 Yanks on the New York Yankees radio network driven by Jeep.”

TOP 5TH
More first-pitch balls from Verlander in the fifth…

John: “Of all things Verlander can’t throw strike 1 and he is a strike throwing machine.”

Granderson doubles with one out before A-Rod strikes out swinging. Cano comes up with Granderson on second and two outs, and on 3-2 pitch…

John: “Now Verlander deals … swung on and a high fly to right-center … Boesch … and Berry … and … that ball is … IN THE GAP! It falls in the gap! Granderson scores … here is Cano going to third … and the throw is … not in time! It gets by … but backed up by … now the ball went into the dugout and Cano is allowed to go home! So first of all, the long fly to right-center split Berry and Boesch and landed … and went to the wall. It was an easy triple for Cano … it’s 430 feet out there. The throw got by, so we’ll find out who the error is on. Two runs score. Give Cano an RBI .. and the Yankees now take a 5-1 lead.”

Teixeira grounds out, but I’m still in awe over the call on the Cano triple. Granted, I had the chance to see it on TV as it was happening and it was a little weird that Berry didn’t get to it, but nevertheless, that was an epic piece of broadcasting.

BOTTOM 5TH
I think it’s funny that Sterling says “error” the way you’re supposed you say “era.”

It’s time for the Daily News 5th and Roger Rubin joins the booth in place of Mark Feinsand.

Hughes walks Don Kelly to lead off the fifth inning. Kelly is currently in a 6-for-46 slump, so walking him to lead off an inning with a four-run lead is always a good idea.

John and Suzyn start asking Roger questions about the Yankees offense…

Roger: “You know it’s funny before the game a bunch of us were talking to Kevin Long about the team’s problems scoring with runners in scoring position and Derek [Jeter] was walking by and he was almost making fun of it. You know, ‘What’s wrong with us, Kevin? Tell us!'”

Suzyn: “Well, it would actually be nice if they figured out what’s wrong with them.”

Roger: “It would be. At one point Kevin say to Derek as he was walking back by a second time, ‘Derek, are we ever gonna score again?’ and Derek was like, ‘I don’t think so.’ Well, he took care of that one right there.”

John: “But, however, if people ask that question, they have a right to ask it because the percentages are so bad … men in scoring position and bases loaded.”

See this is what I love about John and Suzyn: they are Yankees fans and they don’t hide it. They want the Yankees to win the way the fans do and when the team plays poorly they want answers. The mood of the broadcast changes depending on the score of the game and the Yankees’ recent play, and if the Yankees are in the middle of a three-game losing streak you feel like you’re watching the game with your buddies complaining about the team. They don’t follow the game the way beat writers and reporters do, and they shouldn’t since they are the voices of the team on the radio and have to watch them for 162 games plus the playoffs. John and Suzyn should want and expect success from the team and they should be noticeably upset when they don’t get it. This is the Yankees radio network and not a national broadcast.

Santos hits into a double play that is turned by Jeter and Cano leading John to ask, “Have you ever see anyone cooler than Robbie Cano?”

Berry goes down looking and Hughes continues to look good (though I’m scared to type that since things can unravel quickly for the Phranchise).

TOP 6TH
John always reminds us that he owes a station break as if it’s a contest and he owes the listeners another chance to win. Now he might just be talking to the producer to let him know he’s aware that he stills need to do a 10-second station ID, but it always sounds like we let John borrow a station break and he has yet to return it.

Chavez singles on a soft fly ball to left, but that’s all the Yankees manage in the sixth.

BOTTOM 6TH
Suzyn tries to get her scoreboard updates in, but Hughes strikes out Worth and Cabrera swinging and Fielder grounds out for a perfect inning from Hughes.

If the first time I did something like this for Hughes led him to go on a mini run, and this game ends up being one in which he outpitches Verlander, does that mean I will have to do this for every Hughes start for the rest of the season? If it produces wins, I don’t have a problem with it.

TOP 7TH
John: “The 1-1 is lined toward right-center, and there’s a base hit! Jeterian? Haha! You bet! Inside-out swing and he lines it to right-center field.”

John talks about the tight AL East, and as bad as the Yankees have been they can head to the Stadium on Tuesday for a three-game series with Tampa Bay and trail in the division by just one game if they hold on today.

But John reminds us that, “Willie Stargell used to say, ‘The pennant race begins September 1.’” So, I guess the first five months of the season didn’t count back then either?

BOTTOM 7TH
A quiet frame from John and Suzyn as Hughes allows a two-out single to Jhonny Peralta before getting Kelly to pop out to end the inning. This has been Hughes’ best start of the season and with the chance to either finish at 6-3 on the road trip with a win, or 5-4 with a loss following Saturday night’ debacle, Hughes has done his job, which is rare.

TOP 8TH
Ibanez, Swisher and Chavez go down in order and I’m beginning to get the sense that John and Suzyn just want the last couple of innings of the last game of an 11-day road trip to go quickly. This road trip started back on the Yankees’ off day on May 24. That feels like forever ago.

TOP 9TH
John and Suzyn are talking about the players drafted ahead of Derek Jeter in 1992, which leads to a discussion about other great players passed over early in the draft, and the name of the player the Mets took first overall before Reggie Jackson in the 1966 draft has eluded them. John knows the player’s name was “Steve,” but can’t remember his last name. Keith Olbermann texts Suzyn to tell her it was Steve Chilcott.

Suzyn: “What a wonderful invention … texting.”

John: “Ha! I love E-ZPass and DVR myself.”

Suzyn: “Hahahaha! Well, the person that invented DVR and E-ZPass should be in some Hall of Fame.”

John: “Hahaha right! … Absolutely!”

Suzyn: “Somewhere…”

John then goes on to say that the Cross Bronx Expressway belongs in the Hall of Shame. I can’t disagree with him there.

After Martin’s leadoff double, Jeter, Granderson and A-Rod go down in order and John gets excited: “The Yankees are three outs away from a big win.”

BOTTOM 9TH
Phil Hughes is three outs away from his first complete game ever, unless you really want to count the rain-shortened six-inning complete game he threw.

He strikes out Cabrera to start the ninth and gets Fielder to ground out before Young singles. With Young on first and Hughes facing his last batter in Boesch, a fan runs on the field.

John: “And now someone runs on the field … no one pursues him … and he’s running out toward right field … and Swisher gives him a little high five … and now he runs to center field … now people start coming out on the field to get him … and now he runs toward the infield … brilliant … and finally he is apprehended and taken down. You know at first you think it’s funny and people laugh, etcetera, well, how do you know the guy isn’t crazy? How do you know he doesn’t have a weapon or a knife or something? So, the gentleman is handcuffed and led off … two outs, a runner at first and now Girardi trots out to make sure Hughes is OK.”

“And once again it’ll be a 2-2 to Boesch … Hughes is set at the chest … and the pitch … struck him out swinging! Ballgame over! Yankees win! Theeeeeeee Yankees win!”

The game ends in two hours and 39 minutes. Phil Hughes beat Justin Verlander, threw his first nine-inning complete game in the process and kept Miguel Cabrera in the park. The Yankees scored five runs against Verlander and A-Rod hit his second home run in three games. John and Suzyn talked about not being able to predict baseball after the first pitch of the game, and I got to hear John do play-by-play of a fan running on the field while trying to evade security. And on top of it all, the Yankees won the game and the series and finished their 11-day, nine-game road trip at 6-3. Forget Johan Santana’s no-hitter. This was a perfect game.

Tag: Suzyn Waldman

Another Sunday with John and Suzyn

An Old Man Fell Down the Stairs in the Bleachers

A Sunday with John and Suzyn