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Tag: Ivan Nova

Blogs • Yankees

Sep 4, 2012

First Place Isn’t Supposed to Feel This Way

The Yankees’ 10-game lead is now a one-game lead, but the Yankees say they aren’t panicking. They are the only ones who aren’t.

I know that seasonal depression is a real thing because I’m pretty sure I have it. When I left Atlantic City on Sunday afternoon after a weekend with a group of guys that I see sparingly, including some I now see only once a year, it was on the train ride back when it really hit me: summer is over, and there’s no getting it back.

I spent the weekend drinking anything handed to me, inhaling second-hand smoke at the tables, sleeping in an overcrowded hotel room and trying to draft the perfect fantasy football team (which is the real reason we went to AC in the first place). But really what I was doing was attempting to be Billy Chapel in For Love of the Game and trying to “push the sun back up in the sky and give us one more day of summer.”

It seems like just yesterday I was in Nantucket for Figawi and Memorial Day weekend and in Boston for the Yankees-Red Sox series over Fourth of July weekend. Now it’s September 4, it’s getting cold at night and the Giants’ season begins on Wednesday night. Is this real life?

The end of summer is devastating, but it’s inevitable and because of that, it doesn’t come close to the level of devastation that the Yankees are putting me through as they are now one game away from erasing the 10-game lead they held on July 18. But when you combine the end of summer with the Yankees’ second-half slide, well I’m on the verge of spending the next six-plus months in my bed like Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys until Opening Day 2013.

How did we get here? The easy answer is injuries. Andy Pettitte broke his leg, CC Sabathia hit the disabled list twice, A-Rod missed over a month, Ivan Nova sucked before getting hurt, and Nick Swisher, Mark Teixeira, Curtis Granderson and now maybe Robinson Cano have missed time due to various injuries. Injuries is the easy answer, but it’s not the real answer. The real answer is that the Yankees have played bad baseball since the All-Star break, and that’s the real answer because if I cite injuries as the reason for nine games of their 10-game lead being erased then I’m no better than John Henry or Larry Lucchino or Bobby Valentine. I’m not going to use injuries as an excuse because that’s irresponsible and would make me unaccountable as a Yankee fan. Every team has injuries and no one cares about who is injured. People care about who wins.

The 2008 Yankees were a train wreck and that had a lot to do with injuries. But no one felt bad for them and in the long run, people will remember the 2008 Yankees as the first Yankees team to miss the postseason since 1993 rather than the team that had Darrell Rasner and Sidney Ponson start 40 games combined or the team that had Jose Molina play in 100 games or the team that actually picked up Richie Sexson and played him because things got so bad. No, people will just remember the 2008 Yankees as the team that failed.

The same goes for the 2012 Yankees. No one will care that the 2012 Yankees lost Michael Pineda without ever throwing a pitch, lost Mariano Rivera and Brett Gardner to season-ending injuries, only got nine starts out of Andy Pettitte until now or that a handful of other key guys missed significant time. All that matters is whether or not the Yankees make the postseason and what they do in the postseason.

With a one-game lead with 28 games to go (and a relatively easy schedule), the 2012 Yankees can become one of three things between now and the last out of Game 162.

1. They can hang on to win the the division and this column will have been a waste of my time writing and your time reading.

2. They can blow the division lead and play in Bud Selig’s one-game playoff, which will likely end with me being hooked up to a respirator.

3. They can blow the division lead and miss the one-game playoff, and I will take myself off the grid and go into hiding indefinitely.

After Monday’s loss, the Yankees were asked about whether or not they are panicking now that they are a loss and a Baltimore win on Tuesday away from not having sole possession of first place in the AL East anymore. Let’s take a look at what they had to say with my response to their explanation.

(Warning: Things said in this column might be irrational and unreasonable. That’s what happens when a 10-game lead becomes a one-game lead.)

“Who’s panicking? You? Are you panicking? How do you deal with panic? … I don’t panic. So I don’t have to deal with it. Everyone deals with it differently. But I’m not one to panic.” – Derek Jeter

Yes, I’m panicking. Yes, I also understand that Derek Jeter isn’t going to say that the sh-t has hit the fan and the Yankees are in trouble. This is the same guy who could lose his house and everything he owns in a hurricane and stand next to his destroyed home and tell you that everything is going to be fine. So while I want to believe Derek Jeter because I don’t know any other way, it’s really hard to believe him right now. I’m glad he doesn’t have to panic. I’m glad this is so easy for him.

“It’s not a good feeling. You lose some games, and you just want to win games. You don’t want to put your head down. Just got to turn the page. Just be ready for tomorrow. … It’s a little bit hard, but you don’t want to send negative messages to your brain. You’ve got to be positive and just mentally prepare for tomorrow.” – Robinson Cano

It’s Robbie Cano … sports psychologist … don’t ya know! I could get on Robinson Cano’s recent lack of hustling, but I won’t because that’s who Robinson Cano is. Instead let’s just go with who Robinson Cano isn’t: On July 18, the Yankees had a 10-game lead. On July 19, they lost the first game of a four-game sweep at the hands of the A’s. Since July 19, Cano is hitting .265/.335/.457 with seven home runs and 16 RBIs in 42 games. When exactly is “tomorrow” coming?

“See, I look at the positives, you know what I’m saying? Like I said before we even got into this month, we play everyone. So we’ve got to win games. That’s it. It doesn’t get any more complicated than that. … We beat some teams early on, right? Baseball’s a funny game, a funny sport. Sometimes you struggle a bit, and then all of a sudden, things seem to change and you roll off a lot of wins.” – Derek Jeter

The Yankees play the Rays the next two days and then they play the Orioles in a four-game series at Camden Yards. I want to think they will win all six games and go on the kind of run Derek Jeter thinks they can go on and this will all be a minor blip on the 2012 season. But if I can easily believe that then I should also believe that the money left under my pillow in exchange for a lost tooth came from someone other than my parents when I was younger.

“We all gotta’ do what we do. The way you come out of things like this is by doing the little things and if we focus on doing the little things and become master at those we don’t have to worry about big things. And hopefully we’re on our way. I think nobody’s panicking. We’ve done this for a long time.” – Alex Rodriguez

If the Yankees can master the little things then they won’t have to worry about big things? What the eff? How does no one follow this answer up with a question asking what any of this means?

“It’s baseball. We’ve got to go out and keep playing. It’s a tough game but we still have a lead. It’s all up to us and hopefully we can turn it around. … We’ve had some injuries. We’ve got some guys coming back. Hopefully that could give us a shot in the arm to be able to take off and start playing well. … Like I said, it’s up to us to go out and play well and I didn’t help us out today.” – CC Sabathia

Hey, it’s CC Sabathia making excuses! Don’t you just love the “We’ve had some injuries” thrown into the middle of his answer? At least he made up for it by finishing with “I didn’t help us out today” so he isn’t completely delusional like Ivan Nova at times this season and Ian Kennedy back in 2009.

I got scared when CC started this answer by saying “It’s baseball” and thought he might go off on a Tom Glavine 2007 rant about how baseball doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of life and that there are more important things to worry and care about. But CC Sabathia will make $23 million this season, so I’m glad he isn’t as stupid as Glavine was to go down that road.

It’s rare, very rare, that I recklessly throw out a “Ladies and gentlemen, CC Sabathia!” but I did it on Monday afternoon and I felt good after I did it. A lot of people went into Monday saying, “This is why the Yankees signed CC and re-signed him for all that money … to win games like this.” Well, he lost. He lost for the second time in as many starts since coming off the DL for the second time. Last Wednesday he blew two leads to the lowly Blue Jays and on Monday he blew a one-run lead to the Rays after just one shutdown inning following the Yankees taking a lead. We are CC Sabathia losing his next start away from me talking about how much money he makes per start the way I used to have to with A.J. Burnett.

“I thought the team played with some energy. Today was just a classic game of two great pitchers going at each other and we came up on the short end. But I feel if we play with that type of intensity it’s going to be a fun month of September.” – Alex Rodriguez

A “classic game” huh? I don’t even know what to say about that. And if the Yankees play the way they did on Monday, a game in which they lost, then how is September going to be fun at all?

“I’m always positive. That’s my personality. I’ve said it all along; these guys have found a way to get it done all year long through a lot of adversity, through a lot of injuries, through a lot of different things that we’ve been through. I believe they’re going to do it. That’s who they are and I believe in them.” – Joe Girardi

Joe Girardi lies a lot. We all know that. But this might be the biggest lie of them all. How have the Yankees handled adversity and their injuries well? They have all but erased their division lead, and as another part of adversity, they have won zero games when trailing after eight innings. The Yankees are supposed to be built on the notion that they are never out of a game and they will fight until the last out. But what good is fighting until the last out, if you never win the fight?

A wise man once said, “When you win the division, you don’t really care what you win by.” That wise man was Joe Girardi on Monday after the Yankees 4-3 loss to Tampa Bay, which cut their AL East lead to one game. You remember that lead, right? It was 10 games back on July 18. On Tuesday night it could be zero. I miss that 10-game lead and I miss summer.

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Blogs • Email Exchanges • Yankees

Aug 29, 2012

A State of Worry for the Yankees

The Yankees have basically played .500 baseball in the second half and the constant worrying about their division lead led to an email exchange with Jake Strasser of Barstool Sports.

On Wednesday, July 18, the Yankees finished a sweep of the Blue Jays with a 6-0 win at the Stadium and they finished the day with a 10-game lead in the division. Today their lead is 3 1/2 games.

The Yankees have gone 22-21 since the All-Star break and 18-20 since they held that 10-game lead on July 18. The injuries are mounting and now the team will enter September without Alex Rodriguez and Mark Teixeira in the lineup. I haven’t pulled the alarm yet on the 2012 Yankees and avoiding the one-game playoff, but I have shattered the glass and my hand is on the lever.

With constant worrying and scoreboard watching each day, I thought it would be a good idea to talk to someone who I know is going through the same thing. And that’s how this email exchange with Jake Strasser of Barstool Sports started.

Keefe: On Tuesday night, Steve Pearce hit fourth for the Yankees. Russell Martin hit fifth. If you didn’t watch the game, I could probably sell you on the idea that I hit sixth and the doorman in my apartment building hit seventh. That’s how bad things are right now for the Yankees due to injuries.

With A-Rod already out, Mark Teixeira went down on Monday night and Joe Girardi said he could be out “seven, eight or 15 days.” (The man who counted like that actually went to Northwestern University.) So yeah, if our starting pitching right now doesn’t do what Phil Hughes did on Tuesday night then it’s going to be really hard to win games. And if Rafael Soriano does what he did on Monday night it’s going to be even harder.

The reason the Yankees lost in five games to the Tigers last year was because of their hitting. Their pitching could have been better, but it was their hitting with runners in scoring position and the heart of the order that did them in. This year I’m scared that the same thing might happen. Actually I’m not scared … I’m petrified. And it’s not even the ALDS I’m scared of. It’s the one-game playoff. I have already been stocking up on bottled water, canned foods, flashlights and batteries in the event that the Yankees have to play in that one-game playoff.

It wasn’t too long ago that the Yankees had a comfortable 10-game lead in the division and I was laughing and watching games with a spring training mentality. Now with a month to go I feel like every game is Game 7 and I’m scoreboard watching Tampa Bay and Baltimore. Things have unraveled quickly. I don’t think I will truly be nervous until the lead gets to two games (if it ever gets there), but the current state of the Yankees is enough to cause for a test of the emergency broadcast system.

With a month to go, what is your take on the state of the Yankees and how worried are you of the possibility of a one-game playoff, if you’re worried at all?

Strasser: The Yankees are an enigma. I have never seen a club traverse the spectrum of success quite like this year’s team. There are points throughout the course of the season when they coast through series after series with what seems to be zero resistance. And then you have the stretches of poor play when the Yankee offense channels its inner Astros and the lineup looks anemic at the plate. The Yankees are a team built to crush mediocrity. Aside from the game’s top-shelf arms, along with any double-A pitcher lucky enough to make his debut in the Bronx, the Yankees are a near-sure bet to put up at least five or six runs on any given night. But what happens when they run into the buzz saw arms of the Verlanders and Weavers of the league? Well, we’ve all seen it a million times. How many 4-1 or 6-2 losses can we take?

As demonstrated the other night in Cleveland, the Yankees live and die with the home run. In a game where they let myriad scoring opportunities slip through their fingers against Indians pitcher, Corey Kluber, they ended up pulling out the win with a late two-run home run by Swisher. I’ve never been mad about a Yankee win, but I’d be lying if I said that one didn’t infuriate me. The ball that Swisher hit not only cleared the right-field wall, but the team from getting questioned about their inability to manufacture runs as well. The big blast consistently overshadows the offensive woes. This is great for the regular season, but aces on playoff teams don’t generally give up the long ball. The Yankees don’t move the runners, they don’t play small ball, and they don’t hit in the clutch. So where does that leave them? A couple games behind the best record in the AL. It’s both perplexing and frustrating how a team can look so good on paper, but instill a much lower level of confidence on the field.

So you ask me how nervous I am for a potential one-game playoff? Let’s put it this way- I’m letting my fingernails grow out until that day so I have plenty to pick for all nine innings. My cuticles will look like a teen slasher horror movie by the sixth. It all depends on the pitching match up, but anything can happen. And that’s what scares me. Given the roster (and the payroll), the Yankees should have the edge over any team, but as was stated in Moneyball, statistics go out the window when it comes to one game. For the Yankees to have any sort of success in this year’s playoff run, it will come from one or two guys getting hot at the right time circa 2009 with A Rod and Matsui. And if that doesn’t happen, well, let’s hope for a relevant Jets team, because it will be yet another early round exit for the pinstripes.

Keefe: You said it all depends on the pitching matchup, but we shouldn’t worry because a wise man once told me in a podcast that “Ivan Nova will become a big-game pitcher.” Actually that wasn’t a wise man … it was you.

OK, maybe that’s a low-blow, but I don’t think it is since you did disregard Hiroki Kuroda, who I talked up on that same podcast and now he’s become the Yankees’ best pitcher. Before we go any further, I think you owe No. 18 an apology.

(This is ne waiting for your apology…)

Let’s continue and let’s say the Yankees don’t completely fall apart between now and Game 162 and reach the ALDS and that Andy Pettitte returns and is healthy enough to pitch in the postseason. Who’s pitching Games 1, 2 and 3? Hopefully they don’t need a Game 4 starter, but eff it, let’s put a Game 4 starter in there too. And I know we have talked about it before, but I think it’s important for an update since it changes all the time.

I’m going with CC Sabathia, Andy Pettitte, Hiroki Kuroda and then … umm … hmm … uhh … I guess … Phil Hughes? I would love to say David Phelps there, but we both know that’s not going to happen, and I don’t want Freddy Garcia anywhere near a playoff game again let alone on the postseason roster.

Strasser: Yeah, so I put myself out there with a bold prediction. Strasser took a shot, and you know what, Strasser missed. But at least I’m in the game. You’re sitting over there on the sidelines observing and reporting while I’m risking my reputation on a daily basis. You’re the douche bag with the combover in Good Will Hunting and I’m Matt Damon. I may be serving your fries on the way to your ski trip, but at least I’m original. So enjoy your bland perspective of watching and relaying, while I take a leap of faith and throw my heart into something I believe. I’d rather falsely predict something with 100% conviction than sit in the shadows and play it safe any day. I dare to dream, Neil. I dare to dream.

The postseason rotation depends entirely on the situation. It’s CC first, and then either Kuroda or Pettitte. If CC loses game 1 for instance, assuming a healthy Pettitte, I want Andy on the mound. He’s a big-game pitcher and going down 0-2 is a death sentence. I do owe Kuroda an apology, and I have gained a lot of faith in him, but the playoffs are a different world.

It also depends on the breakdown of home and away. It’s no secret that Kuroda is a better pitcher at the Stadium. That plays into rotation decisions, as well. Ask me this question when the ALDS schedule is set, and I’ll have a more definitive answer for you. Until then, Nova4Life.

Keefe: Being called the scumbag in the Harvard bar in Good Will Hunting is as bad as it gets, so move over “me wanting Ubaldo Jimenez last year” there’s a new low point in my life. And I don’t think it was a bold prediction or anything that out there since Nova did win Game 1 of the ALDS last year before getting pulled early in Game 5. So let’s hold patting yourself on the back for a second there. It’s not like you told me that CC Sabathia would go on the DL twice and Andy Pettitte and Alex Rodriguez would also hit the DL and Mariano Rivera and Brett Gardner would be out for the year and the Yankees would still be in first in the division. That would be something to be proud of.

The Yankees are in a weird spot with the looming luxury tax penalties. It seemed like a foregone conclusion that they would sign Robinson Cano and Curtis Granderson to long-term deals and let Nick Swisher walk away. But a funny thing happened on a way to that plan. Actually, it’s not funny. What happened is Granderson has become Adam Dunn-like and Swisher has carried the team offensively through August. (Granderson is still a great defender while I don’t trust Swisher on routine plays.) Now there is talk that Swisher wants Jayson Werth’s $126 million, which is unlikely, but he will at least get a solid deal given his performance this year and the weak free agent market.

It’s no secret that I’m not that big of a Nick Swisher fan, if I’m one at all, which I don’t think I am. I know it will all come down to what he does in October, which is likely nothing, but it seems more and more likely that Swisher and his phony personality and his disgusting arguments on called third strikes might not only be back in the Bronx for 2013, but maybe a few years after. And it doesn’t help that the Red Sox’ impending interest in him will likely drive his price up and force the Yankees to make a play for him.

If Nicky Swish (sorry to go John Sterling on you) finally hits in the postseason and the Yankees make a long run, that’s one thing. But if he fails to hit elite pitching for the fourth straight postseason I don’t want to see No. 33 in right field in 2013 unless the new right fielder also wants to wear No. 33.

Strasser: I like the idea of Swisher. What does that mean? Well, this. Fake or not, he helps the clubhouse – one that up until his arrival in 2009, had been publicly documented as stiff and stale. His boisterous personality is good for the team and even better for the fans. That being said, he doesn’t really do it for me on the field. Outside of this year, which so coincidentally happens to be a contract year, he hasn’t been anything special in my opinion. He targets the short porch far too frequently, often times resulting in a pop out to short when a ground ball to second would have moved the runner over.

If the Yankees commit the amount of money Swisher will want, and the basic fundamentals of supply and demand will allow, it will result in an overpaid outfielder clogging a spot that could be used for future acquisitions. I love his on-base percentage, I love his occasional power, but I don’t love his price tag. Let him walk.

Keefe: There’s going to come a time in October when Joe Girardi decides, “Hey, these people paid to come see me manage and insert myself into this game and not to see the players on the field” and he will likely turn to Clay Rapada or Cody Eppley to get a big out. Let’s just hope they get that big out.

The bullpen pecking order is all out of whack right now aside from Rafael Soriano and David Robertson. I think Boone Logan is probably viewed as the third-best reliever (that feels weird even thinking about let alone typing) and then it’s a mess between Cody Eppley, Clay Rapada and whoever that guy wearing No. 62 and pretending to be Joba Chamberlain is. I really only trust David Robertson out there even though Soriano has been great, and I don’t want the other three putting their hands on the game. Actually there might be one guy I don’t mind.

For some reason and I can’t explain this, I still have this thing about Joba in that I trust him. Or I want to trust him. When I see him out there I have flashbacks of the summer of 2007 and unhittable fastballs and devastating sliders. I see fist pumps and scoreless innings. In reality, he is basically Chad Qualls right now (actually he’s statistically worse). This pains me and I don’t want it to be like this, but the guy is also coming back from elbow surgery, having his appendix removed and a brutal ankle injury. I think he will find it, I just don’t know when.

Strasser: I’m pretty much in agreement with you on the bullpen issue. Robertson I trust, and Soriano I’m warming up to. Joba will hopefully come around because like you said, I want to trust him. I want to remember being at the first game he ever pitched in at the stadium (Section 434B … I splurged) and seeing the Bronx sky erupt with amazement at the spectacle we had all just witnessed. But is that guy still there, or are we just reaching for something that doesn’t exist like an image popping off the screen in a 3D movie? You know those a-holes swiping at the air in front of them … are we those a-holes, Neil?

You’re leaving out one incredibly important detail as far as playoff bullpen pitching goes. One man, three syllables: David Phelps. I loved this guy in the bullpen earlier in the season, and I like what I’m seeing from him as a starter. Throwing him back in the bullpen for a late September push and on into October could be that bridge the Yankees need to get to Robertson and Soriano.

Keefe: I forgot about your man crush on David Phelps and I hate to break it to you, but I think it’s a love triangle. That’s right, I’m joining this party, so I hope there’s room for three. I have loved everything Phelps has done for this team, and if he isn’t given a postseason start (which he very well could if he continues to impress and dominate) then he will be a huge addition to the bullpen.

You have told me that Raul Ibanez is your sleeper pick to be huge for the Yankees in the postseason, and I’m onboard with that decision. Ibanez has that “thing” about him that exudes confidence especially when the at-bats are the biggest the setting is most important. Granted, we could both be way off and he could have a Swisher-like 2-for-15 ALDS and the Yankees could be home in five games, but let’s just hope that’s not the case.

The other guy I think is going to be huge in October is Ichiro because of who he is and what he wanted out of going to New York to win and getting out of Seattle, the only place he ever knew in the majors. Ichiro hasn’t played in the postseason since Game 5 of the 2001 ALCS on the other side of the River Ave. Now he has a chance to chase that elusive championship, pick up the one thing missing in a Hall of Fame career that boasts a Rookie of the Year, MVP, batting titles, single-season hits records, Gold Gloves and All-Star Games, and a chance to earn a multiyear deal at the end of the season.

Why do you think Ibanez will be big in the postseason and what are you thoughts on Ichiro returning to October?

Strasser: There’s something about Raul Ibanez. He’s got that look. It’s a combination of focus, clutch, and ugly. The first two are going to be huge in October. Well, huge in my mind at least. In my mind, he has already hit two of those majestic moonshots to right in the first game of the ALDS. Okay, that may be a bit hopeful, but I really do get that vibe from him. That oddly unexplainable Jeterian vibe. But hey, I could be wrong. It’s happened before … cough … Nova … cough.

As far as Ichiro goes, I see him doing a lot of the little things for us in the playoffs. I’m not gonna sit here as a delusional Yankee homer and tell you that he’s going to rediscover his MVP form and hit .450 in the ALDS, but I do think he can provide some important benefits for the team. His baseball instincts are great, and sometimes a playoff win and the subsequent advancement to the next series can come down to one play. Whether it’s an astounding defensive play, some 2009 WS Damon-esque base running, or some other sort of contribution, I could see Ichiro having one or two “Yankee moments” in October.

My final prediction for the playoffs revolves around one of the most inconsistent cold weather bats in the league. No. 24 in your program and probably right around that number in our hearts, Robinson Cano has the potential to carry the Yankees to a ring. He’s just nonchalant enough to sleepwalk through a postseason line of .390 with eight home runs and 21 RBIs.

Keefe: Everyone keeps asking me if the Yankees can win the World Series, and I keep telling these people that I think they can. Right now there’s isn’t one team that really stands out in the AL, but if Pettitte returns healthy then a rotation of CC Sabathia, Andy Pettitte and Hiroki Kuroda is as good as any 1-2-3 punch this postseason.

But to win the World Series it’s going to take winning the ALDS first (and hopefully not the one-game playoff first). I think the Yankees’ best chance of advancing would be if the Orioles make the one-game playoff and win it. The Yankees have loved playing in Camden Yards since it opened and no matter the year or roster turnover, the Yankees continue to win there, and with the first games of the division series on the road, that’s a big deal. I don’t want to see the Rays since the Yankees can’t win at the Trop anymore, or the Tigers since they seem to have our number or the White Sox since the Yankees had enough trouble winning a game there last week, forget October. Even the A’s scare me with their starting pitching and the idea of going 3,000 miles for the first two games of the ALDS isn’t exactly enticing. Give me Baltimore!

Strasser: The best option for the Yankees to play in the ALDS is the not-Angels. I think the Yankees can really expose some of the weaknesses of the not-Angels and capitalize on their shortcomings. Seriously though, the one team I’m terrified of is the Angels. I have no idea why they aren’t running away with the West, but if they get into the playoffs, look out. Mike Trout is just young and naive enough to not even realize that he’s having this historic season that could easily carry into October. They are the one team in the AL I most certainly don’t want to face.

To be honest, there isn’t one team that I would sign up to play right now. If anything, it would be the Rangers and their mediocre pitching staff, but we all know what can happen when Josh Hamilton or Nelson Cruz gets hot. Still, if I had to choose, I’ll take a matchup with the Rangers and their antler nonsense.

As much as I bash the Yankees’ deficiencies, I think they will hang on to win the division. Pettitte and A-Rod are coming back, CC looks sharp after his 12th DL stint of the year and Kuroda continues to mock me. I don’t think Tampa has the offense and I’m still not sold on Baltimore, despite their success this season. I also hate Buck Showalter and refuse to give him any credit, but the O’s are a good team. Another scary group of inexperienced guys playing above their heads. Is “above their heads” an expression? If not, it is now.

Keefe: You want to play the Rangers? In real life? I don’t think I can even given you a chance to respond to this after that.

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Blogs • Yankees

Aug 7, 2012

Postseason Pitching Fears

After Justin Verlander’s 14 strikeouts on Monday night, it’s time to start thinking about which pitchers the Yankees shouldn’t want to see in the ALDS this October.

I spend an unhealthy amount of time worrying about who the Yankees will play in the ALDS, considering the possibilities and doing hours of math involving the American League standings. But I have learned over the years that all the time I spend looking at the standings, matchups, lineups, rotations and history is meaningless and the stress caused by my obsession of picking a first-round opponent for the Yankees is unnecessary.

I can’t make the Yankees have the best record in the AL and put the Orioles and White Sox in the one-game playoff and then have the Orioles win that game so the Yankees play them. I can’t hope that the Yankees face the Orioles rather than the Rangers, White Sox, Tigers, Angels, A’s, or Rays. However, no matter what I want, it usually plays out the way I want as if I’m the subject of a Matt Christopher book, and it’s not always for the best.

Last year I wanted the Yankees to play the Tigers in the ALDS, just like I did in 2006, and it backfired, just like it did in 2006.

In 2010 and 2009, I wanted the Twins and it worked out.

In 2008, I hated baseball for the summer. I like to pretend that season didn’t happen the way the 2004 playoffs didn’t happen because of the strike. Remember the strike of 2004? That sucked.

In 2007, I wanted the Indians. When Johnny Damon led off the series with a home run, I had the same “This is too easy” feeling I had when the Yankees crushed the Tigers in Game 1 the year before. Chien-Ming Wang made me regret my decision to want the Indians in Games 1 and 4 (Paul Byrd helped me regret the decision in Game 4), and when Joba Chamberlain was sprayed down with bug spray for the midges (which we later found out was the opposite way to handle the midges and was basically the equivalent of jumping into a pool of sharks while holding steaks and having open wounds on your body) while Fausto Carmona/Roberto Hernandez kept pitching like nothing was going on (I think I actually saw him eating some of the midges), I knew the Yankees were effed.

We talked about 2006, so in 2005 I stupidly wanted the Yankees to win the division and they did on the final weekend of the season thanks to the head-to-head tiebreaker. But because of this, they had to face the Angels in the ALDS instead of the White Sox. Now the White Sox did win 99 games, but I think if the Yankees had faced the White Sox, I don’t think they would have lost to Jose Contreras, Mark Buehrle and Freddy Garcia (and an epic relief appearance from El Duque) the way the Red Sox did and I don’t think Ozzie Guillen is still a manager in the league because he wouldn’t have that World Series on his resume, which has to be the only thing keeping him employed. Then again, maybe the Yankees beat the White Sox, but the Red Sox beat the Angels and then beat the Yankees in the ALCS for the second year in a row and I’m off the grid for now almost seven years with no human interaction, or maybe I’m living in Iceland and doing whatever people do in Iceland, which I would think doesn’t involve watching or following baseball.

In 2003 and 2004 I also wanted the Twins and I got them. In case you haven’t noticed, the Yankees haven’t advanced to ALCS against a team not named the Minnesota Twins since 2001 when they came back from down 0-2 against the A’s in the ALDS. (I just checked and the Twins are 12 back in the Central and 10-1/2 games back in the wild card. This isn’t good for the Yankees’ chances of getting to the ALCS.)

Like I said, the amount of time I have spent over the years trying to figure the best possible ALDS matchup for the Yankees has been a complete waste of time. If I had put this much time into actual schoolwork over the years, who knows where I would be right now? Maybe I would be teaching advanced physics at Yale or working as an orthopedic surgeon and living in Greenwich? Instead I’m looking at Ivan Nova’s 2012 game log and wondering how the guy who went 3-0 with a 1.26 ERA in five starts in June has gone 1-4 with a 6.75 ERA in seven starts since July 3, filling A.J. Burnett’s 2010-11 role nicely.

On Monday night, Nova was bad again (5.1 IP, 11 7 R, 7 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, 2 HR) and the Yankees lost to the second-best pitcher on the planet (you’re welcome, King Felix). Justin Verlander turned in an eight-inning, 14-strikeout performance to beat the Yankees for the first time in three starts this season. His effort combined with home runs from Prince Fielder and Miguel Cabrera confirmed that I won’t be pulling to see the Tigers in the ALDS this year.

But if not the Tigers, then who? It’s too hard to say. The second wild card has turned the league into a five-alarm gongshow and there are currently seven teams within five games of a one-game playoff. When you factor in the three division leaders that leaves just four teams (Seattle, Cleveland, Minnesota and Kansas City) whose seasons are actually over. The Yankees could potentially play the Rangers, White Sox, Tigers, Angels, A’s, Orioles, Red Sox or Blue Jays in the ALDS. That means I really have nothing to pull for, wish for or root for. The second wild card has taken the Yankees’ first-round opponent out of my hands even if it’s always been out of my hands.

So since I can’t hope for a team, Verlander’s start on Monday night made me think about which pitchers I don’t want to see in the five-game series. And because Felix Hernandez’s career is being wasted on the Mariners, Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay are in the NL and Colby Lewis is out for the year, I narrowed it down to four starters that I don’t want to see in the ALDS this fall.

(List Spoiler Alert: James Shields and Jered Weaver are NOT on this list. If I need the Yankees to win an elimination game against “Big Game” James who has the most misleading nickname since my friend we call “Big Kinsel,” who is a 5-foot-10, 155-pound Asian, or Jered Weaver, who is a blood relative of Jeff Weaver, I’m more than confident. If the Yankees have to face either of those two pitchers in a must-win game, I’m “Coach Taylor trailing 26-0 at halftime of State” confident in knowing that the Yankees are going to be fine.)

4. Ryan Dempster
I couldn’t even type that with a straight face. OK, let’s be serious…

4. Doug Fister
This isn’t as much about Doug Fister as it is what he represents. Fister is the non-elite starter who possesses the recipe for disaster for the Yankees. He knows how to pitch; he isn’t going to ruin a game unless someone like Al Alburquerque (yes, he’s real, Mike Francesa!) gets called upon to ruin it for him; he isn’t going to maybe have it or maybe not like A.J. Burnett or Max Scherzer; he’s going to keep the Yankees off balance, throw strikes and not hand out free passes. Doug Fister represents Colby Lewis, Tommy Hunter, Paul Byrd, Kenny Rogers and Jeremy Bonderman and all the other starters that have beat the Yankees in the playoffs in recent years that you weren’t worried about losing to before the first pitch.

Find me a Yankees fan that thought the Yankees would lose Game 5 of the 2011 ALDS. When your back’s against the wall in an elimination game on the road with A.J. Burnett on the mound and you escape a bases-loaded jam in the first inning and go on to win to send the series back to the Stadium, you know you’re going to win. I knew the Yankees were going to win.

They didn’t win.

Yes, Fister lost the weird Game 1 at the Stadium last year and got charged with six earned runs, but four of them came on the grand slam that Alburquerque gave up to Robinson Cano. He bounced back in Game 5 of the series at the Stadium in a game no one thought the Yankees could lose. He was forced to throw 92 pitches in five innings, but only allowed one earned run on a two-out solo home run to Cano with the Tigers up 3-0 in the fifth.

Doug Fister reminds me of Cliff Lee. He works deep into games, doesn’t throw hard, has great location, doesn’t walk a lot of people and started to make a run at being an elite starter in his late 20s. When I hear “Doug Fister,” I think “Cliff Lee.” When I see Doug Fister, I think right-handed Cliff Lee. When it’s the playoffs, the last person I ever want to see is Cliff Lee, and that means I don’t want to see Doug Fister. He’s already gone into the Bronx and won when no one thought he could. When you survive an elimination setting in the Stadium, you earn the element of fear from me.

3. Chris Sale
Chris Sale is 23 years old. He has made 19 starts in the majors. He has never thrown a pitch in October. Those three things might make you wonder why he is on this list. These next two things won’t.

Chris Sale throws with his left arm. He has never started a game against the Yankees.

The real No. 1 pitcher on this list should be Any Lefty Pitching Against The Yankees For the First Time or Any Starter Making His MLB Debut, but since that’s not a real person, I couldn’t give the No. 1 spot to a general group of pitchers. Chris Sale is very close to being part of the group.

Sale has actually pitched against the Yankees before, but has never started a game. He has made three relief appearances, pitching 3-1/3 scoreless innings and allowing one hit with two walks and five strikeouts. This year Sale is 13-3 with a 2.59 ERA, 8.3 K/9 and 2.1 BB/9 and 12 of his 20 starts have been six innings or more with two earned runs or less.

Chris Sale means Robinson Cano and Curtis Granderson are less dangerous, Mark Teixeira and Nick Swisher get turned around, Ichiro is less effective and the short porch at the Stadium isn’t the same.

I don’t want to see an elite lefty or someone who doesn’t walk people against the Yankees. That’s Chris Sale.

2. David Price
David Price means Robinson Cano and Curtis Granderson are less dangerous, Mark Teixeira and Nick Swisher get turned around, Ichiro is less effective and the short porch at the Stadium isn’t the same.

I don’t want to see an elite lefty or someone who doesn’t walk people against the Yankees. That’s David Price.

Sorry, I didn’t want to plagiarize myself, but I had to.

Price has made three postseason starts and lost them all. However, those three postseason starts came against the 2010 and 2011 Rangers. His line from those three starts: 19.1 IP, 24 H, 11 R, 10 ER, 1 BB, 17 K. Again, we’re talking about the best offense in baseball in the Rangers, and not the most sporadic offense in baseball (especially in October) in the Yankees.

The Rangers would probably welcome David Price in Game 1 of the playoffs, but a power lefty against the Yankees’ lineup? I’ll pass.

1. Justin Verlander
You would think that after an eight-inning, 14-strikeout performance from the reigning MVP and Cy Young, I would want no part of seeing Verlander for a third time in the playoffs in the ALDS, and you’re right, I don’t. But if it happened I wouldn’t be that worried either. Verlander doesn’t put the fear of God in me the way that Felix or Cliff Lee do, but he’s right there.

In all honesty, I’m not as scared of Justin Verlander as I probably should be. The Yankees have beat him in in two of his three starts against them this season and they rallied to come back against him in Game 3 last year. In 2006, they would have won Game 2 against him if Mike Mussina didn’t cough up the game the way only Mike Mussina could.

I said I wasn’t going to waste anymore time trying to solve the Yankees’ potential ALDS opponent puzzle or trying to worry about pitching matchups and I meant it. The only thing I really need to worry about is whether the middle of the order will hit with runners in scoring position, and that’s not something I can change or something I should spend my summer worrying about. I have October for that.

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Blogs • The Joe Girardi Show • Yankees

Jul 16, 2012

The Joe Girardi Show: Season 3, Episode 2

The Joe Girardi Show returns for another episode after the manager’s questionable decisions in the Yankees’ loss to the Angels on Sunday.

Did you think my version of The Joe Girardi Show got canceled for no reason like How to Make It in America? I know there hasn’t been an episode of the show since April 9 following the Tragedy at the Trop to open the season, but that’s because Girardi’s questionable decision making has been spread out. It’s been a while since Girardi has made several decisions that were puzzling before they inevitably backfired in a game the Yankees lost, but had a chance to win.

I know the Yankees have the best record in baseball and lead the AL East by eight games and I have nothing to complain about, but when a series of poor choices are made in one game, I feel the need to address it.

On Sunday the Yankees lost a game in which they scored eight runs in a game started by Jered Weaver. And while Ivan Nova wasn’t exactly good (6 IP, 9 H, 6 R, 6 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, 3 HR) … OK he sucked … the Yankees had opportunities to build on their early 3-2 lead and even come back from trailing in the late innings. However their comeback would fall short and turn out to just be “Yankees blue balls” thanks to Girardi’s managing throughout the game, which made Kevin Gilbride’s third-down playcalling for the Giants look brilliant.

So after Sunday’s debacle, and despite a series win and all that best record stuff, I thought it was necessary to fill in for Michael Kay on my version of The Joe Girardi Show for the second episode this season and ask Girardi why he made the decisions he made.

What the eff happened on the bases in the third inning?
Here’s the situation: The Yankees have a 3-2 lead in the bottom of the third inning. With one out, A-Rod singles and Robinson Cano follows that up with a single and A-Rod goes to third. It’s first and third with one out and Mark Teixeira at the plate.

Here’s what Teixeira had done in his last eight games entering Sunday: 10-for-30 (.333), 2 2B, 1 3B, 4 HR, 15 RBIs, 5 BB, .429 OBP, .867 SLG. In case you weren’t aware, it’s the second half of the season. The All-Star break is over. It’s Teixeira’s time (well, until October). The time of the year when he takes what looks to be the worst statistical season of his career and ends up matching the numbers on the back of his baseball card. Isn’t that right, Michael Kay?

In case you also weren’t aware, Robinson Cano is not a base stealer. Hell, he isn’t even a good base runner. There is this idea around the league (and apparently with the Yankees too) that Cano has speed, but he’s probably the slowest Yankee of the last decade not named Jorge Posada, Jose Molina or Sal Fasano. Yet a couple times a year Cano will get caught stealing at an inopportune time and for some reason opposing pitchers keep throwing over to first thinking he might run. (Cano is 29-for-56 on stolen-base attempts in seven-plus this seasons.)

So you have possibly the hottest hitter in the league at the plate with two on and one out against an elite pitcher who came into the game with an ERA of 1.96, but has already allow three runs and seven hits in just 2 1/3 innings. You would think that you would want your No. 5 hitter to swing the bat in this situation. But what happens? Cano breaks for second and gets picked off. While in a rundown, A-Rod (who actually is a good baserunner) hesitates and breaks late. Erick Aybar tags Cano out and then throws home where A-Rod is out. Yes, a double play on the bases without the ball even being hit.

(Let’s remember for a second that in the past Curtis Granderson, who can actually steal bases, has been held from running, with Mark Teixeira at the plate (when Teixeira is cold) because Girardi has said he doesn’t want to take the bat out of Teixeira’s hands. But when it’s Robinson Cano on first and Teixeira is the hottest he’s been as a Yankee? No big deal!)

Why is Russell Martin bunting in the fifth inning?
I’m not going to talk about Russell Martin bunting for a base hit in the second inning (which ended up serving the same purpose as a sacrifice, but wasn’t scored a sacrifice) because I have to pick my battles and my battle here is why is Russell Martin bunting in the fifth inning?

Here’s the situation: The Yankees lead 3-2 in the bottom of the fifth inning. Eric Chavez leads off the inning with a single. Russell Martin is at the plate.

I don’t think I need to explain why the situation I just presented screams, “Don’t bunt! Don’t do it! Please, don’t do it! Don’t look down at third for the sign! Rob Thomson is going to tell you to bunt! Don’t look at him! Don’t do it!” But I will anyway.

The Yankees already have the lead in the game. It’s the fifth inning of an American League game at Yankee Stadium. Why would you play for one insurance run with still four-plus innings of baseball left?

If you don’t know what happened, I bet you’re thinking that Martin bunted it right back to the pitcher and he threw the lead runner out at second. I wish that happened. Instead, Martin popped up the first pitch to Weaver, who threw to first with Chavez off the bag for a double play. Ah, the second unnecessary double play made by the Yankees in less than five innings. But what’s giving away 1 1/3 innings of outs anyway? No big deal!

(On another Girardi decision from the weekend … Why didn’t Russell Martin play on Saturday? Yes, it was a day game after a night game, but Martin had just played his best game of the season on Friday night and had four full days of rest prior to Friday. The Yankees won on Saturday and the move didn’t impact the game, but if you’re trying to get Martin on track for the second half, why isn’t he playing after the offensive and defensive job he did on Friday night?)

Why Chad Qualls in the eighth inning? Why? Actually, why Chad Qualls ever? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?
I like to imagine a Relievers Anonymous support group where all of the failed Yankees relievers meet at a community center or church or middle school cafeteria and Paul Quantrill serves as the group leader. I see Jose Veras there and Tanyon Sturtze and Sean Henn, Edwar Ramirez and Chan Ho Park. Chad Gaudin and Sergio Mitre are sitting next to each other and next to them are Brian Bruney and Scott Proctor. I can picture Quantrill getting everyone back to their seat from the refreshment table and telling Jonathan Albaladejo he can continue to share his stories from Japan after the session is over.

Quantrill gets everyone to quiet down to introduce the newest member of the group: Chad Qualls. Chad stands up and shyly proclaims, “Hi, my name is Chad, and I suck at pitching.” And led by Quantrill, everyone awkwardly responds, “Hi, Chad.” Qualls then goes on to tell about his career and how despite being on six teams in nine years and having a 5.14 ERA and 1.506 WHIP since the start of 2010, the $200 million Yankees still managed to pick him up.

Here’s the situation: After blowing the 3-2 lead in the sixth by allowing three runs, Girardi lets Nova start the seventh after Granderson homers to make it 5-4 Angels. Nova gives up a double and a single and it’s first and third with no one out. Girardi now decides it’s a good time to take out Nova, and he brings in Chad Qualls with the Yankees trailing 5-3 and Albert Pujols due up. Qualls gets Pujols to ground into a double play, but the run scores. Qualls gives up another hit, but gets out of the inning with the Angels up 6-4.

In the bottom of the seventh, Chavez homers to cut the Angels’ lead to 6-5. I hate to go all John Sterling Talking Baseball Like He’s Talking to Elementary School Children on you, but if the Yankees can hold the Angels, they will have two innings and six outs left to score one run and tie the game. But first the Yankees’ bullpen MUST HOLD the Angels scoreless. So here comes Chad Qualls out for the eighth inning.

With one out, Maicer Izturis walks. Peter Bourjos follows that with a bunt single. A wild pitch moves Izturis to third. Bobby Wilson singles to score Izturis and Bourjos goes to third. Mike Trout doubles to score Bourjos and Wilson goes to third. The Angels now lead 8-5 with one out and the middle of their order coming up. Qualls faces eight hitters and five of them reach base, and three of them score … in 1 1/3 innings.

Where was Boone Logan to start the eighth inning? (Yes, we’re at the point where I want Boone Logan in games.) Oh, that’s right. Logan came in to get the last two outs of the eighth after Qualls let a 6-5 game turn into a 9-5 game. So if Logan was available to pitch and was going to pitch anyway, why was he not used until the game was out of hand? Why wasn’t he out there to start a clean inning?

Qualls should be pitching in games that are over. He shouldn’t be the reason games become over, and he shouldn’t be pitching in high-leverage situations. Really, he shouldn’t be on the Yankees or probably in the league as a whole.

When I found out the Yankees signed Qualls I tweeted that “I hate Chad Qualls.” This meant that he could turn into a dominating force (though unlikely) and I would have already put it out there that I hate him, but I didn’t care. I didn’t give him a chance because I didn’t need to give him a chance. When Brian Cashman signed Qualls he 100-percent knew that at some point he would be designating him for assignment because there was a 100-percent chance Qualls would give him a reason to DFA him. So why pick him up in the first place?

When Qualls came into the game on Sunday, David Cone said he was “surprised that the Yankees were able to steal Chad Qualls off the scrap heap.” There’s a reason for that, and there’s a reason another team will have a chance to “steal” him from the scrap heap in the coming weeks.

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Blogs • Email Exchanges • Yankees

Jul 6, 2012

Good Times Never Seemed So Good in Boston

The Yankees are in Boston for a four-game series with the Red Sox and that means it’s time for another email exchange with Mike Hurley.

It feels like it’s been years since the Yankees and Red Sox last played against each other, and it kind of has been. It’s been 76 days since the two teams last met, and that happened to be the day the Yankees erased an eight-run deficit after six innings at Fenway Park.

The Yankees have exactly half of their season left to play, and out of those 81 games, 16 of them will be against the Red Sox. And with so many games left against each other, that means that there are a lot of email exchanges left between Mike Hurley and me. With the Yankees in Boston for a four-game series this weekend I sent Hurley the mandatory Yankees-Red Sox email to let him know my presence in his city this weekend.

Keefe: So we meet again. I figured you were waiting for this email since the Yankees are in town. I can picture you checking your phone every time it vibrates to see if it’s an email for me. Actually your phone probably makes a ringing or beep noise when you get an email because you don’t seem like the type of person that would courteous enough to put it on vibrate.

The Yankees have a five-game lead on the division and a 7 1/2-game lead on the Red Sox (eight in the loss column). Despite going 1-2 against the Rays this week, the Yankees still managed to pick up another game on the Red Sox after they were swept in Oakland.

In December 2010 you were excited for a Red Sox-Phillies World Series in 2011, and instead the 2011 Red Sox, who were supposed to challenge the 1927 Yankees as the greatest team ever, didn’t even make the playoffs. When the team was falling apart in September and anonymous sources were snitching on the players and pitching staff and other anonymous sources (cough, Larry Lucchino, cough, cough) were trying to destroy Terry Francona’s reputation, I never thought things could possibly get better. But then 2012 happened.

John Lackey is out for the year and Carl Crawford hasn’t played a game. Jacoby Ellsbury has been injured for nearly the whole season and Josh Beckett was playing golf on his off day despite being unable to pitch due to injury. David Ortiz called Boston a “sh-thole” and then said he was embarrassed and humiliated about his contract status even though he makes $14.575 million to only hit. Daniel Bard is now blowing saves in Triple-A and the Red Sox’ closer, Andrew Bailey, hasn’t thrown a pitch this season while the guy they traded for him, Josh Reddick, looks like he could have been the right fielder of the future for the Red Sox.

It has been beautiful to watch and a glorious first half for the Red Sox. I guess my only question for you is did I leave anything out?

Hurley: God, you’re such an A-hole. When Ortiz said Boston was becoming a “sh-thole,” he must have known you were coming to visit.

But did you miss anything? Seriously? OK, here we go (I’m going with a bulleted list format here for simplicity’s sake:

– Daniel Nava bats leadoff.

– Darnell McDonald plays 38 games (enjoy the Darnell era in New York!).

– The Red Sox trade FOR Marlon Byrd. Then dump him. Then he gets busted for PEDs.

– Kevin Youkilis gets traded and goes something like 9-for-10 with a home run and a walk-off hit for the White Sox.

– Kelly Shoppach complains to Bobby Valentine about playing time. Kelly Shoppach!

– Adrian Gonzalez is tied for 146th in home runs. He has six in 324 at-bats. Here are people who have hit more home runs than Gonzalez, with their at-bat total in parentheses: Shelley Duncan (154), Brandon Inge (181), Andruw Jones (113), Todd Frazier (168), Justin Maxwell (121), Jonny Gomes (142), Will Middlebrooks (171), Mitch Moreland (158), Brandon Moss (78!), Scott Hairston (173), Cody Ross (189), Allen Craig (160).

– Nick Punto plays 46 games, hits .180.

– Scott Podsednik becomes a stabilizing force in the outfield. Seriously. Then he gets hurt and goes on the DL.

– Jon Lester goes 5-5 with a 4.33 ERA. His career numbers: 81-39, 3.61 ERA.

– Sox go 2-5 on a road trip to face juggernauts in Seattle and Oakland.

Other than that, it’s been a pretty good season. How are the Yankees doing?

Keefe: The Yankees? They’re doing good enough that if they split this weekend at Fenway, they will still be eight games ahead of the Red Sox in the loss column.

I’m mad at myself for forgetting so many important negative things about the Red Sox. I pride myself in trying to be the go-to guy for negative Red Sox storylines and I forgot so many, so I would like to apologize to everyone for that.

Let’s take a deeper look at David Ortiz’s comments to USA Today though since you wrote and tweeted heavily about them on Thursday and since it’s a perfect Red Sox off-day story in Boston for the media to feast on a day before the Yankees arrive at Fenway. Seriously, can you think of better timing for this story to take over? I can’t.

Here is what David Ortiz said to USA Today about his contract.

“It was humiliating. There’s no reason a guy like me should go through that. All I was looking for was two years, at the same salary ($12.5 million). They ended up giving me $3 million more than that (actually $2.025 million), and look at my numbers this year. Tell me if they wouldn’t have been better off. And yet they don’t hesitate to sign other guys. It was embarrassing.”

“If you go crazy and give contracts to whoever comes along despite not knowing how they’re going to do, then you don’t give me my due consideration, even though I do my thing every year, [expletive] that. I’m going to be open to anything. My mentality is not going to be, ‘I like it here.’ It’s going to be, ‘Bring it to the table, and we’ll see what happens.’”

David Ortiz is making $14.575 million this season, and in case anyone forgot, he doesn’t play in the field. That means he makes $89,969.14 per game and $39,931.51 per day over a calendar year. I’m not sure what’s so humiliating about that.

Apparently Ortiz can predict the future by saying the team would be better off by giving him a two-year deal since he knows that he will have the same production next year. But the Red Sox offered him two years and $20 million and he turned it down and went to arbitration instead and settled on this deal with the Red Sox, according to a Ben Cherington email to USA Today.

This story will likely lead to the media asking Ortiz if he would play for the Yankees because people love stories like that (especially with the Yankees in Boston) even if the Yankees aren’t about to lock up their DH spot to an aging player when they need that spot for their already aging players. And while I don’t think Ortiz has any chance of playing in the Bronx, I would like to see him go somewhere other than Boston, so he can find out if there are any other “s-hit holes” that have MLB teams.

Hurley: I generally look at these little tirades as cutesy little David moments, the times when he goes absolutely nuts for no real, rational reason and it drives him to hit 35 homers and drive in 100 runs and nobody ends up really remembering. But this one, for whatever reason, really pissed me off.

It’s probably because it’s the second time in two weeks he’s gone out of his way to selfishly complain about himself and his contract. Two weeks ago, he said he wasn’t having much fun this year. Poor baby! He’s only making $23,737 for every plate appearance, meaning in one night he earns enough to pay off the college loans that will take you 40 years to pay off, but the guy is not having fun! I just feel bad for him!

And now he’s mad that the team didn’t give him a two-year deal for $26 million? Let’s see … exactly who was it that forced Ortiz to agree to arbitration? Oh it was his agent, who probably told Ortiz that he’d get nothing better on the free-agent market. And who signed his name on the bottom of a one-year contract that gave him a $2 million raise at the age of 36? That was Ortiz.

If he wasn’t happy about any of it, he could have rejected arbitration and become a free agent, or he could have gone into the arbitration hearing and awaited the ruling. Chances are he wouldn’t have gotten a $2 million raise, and as a result, he’ll now make more money in 2012 and 2013 than he initially wanted, and this upsets him greatly.

If he wants to talk disrespect, maybe he should call future Hall of Famer Vladimir Guerrero. The guy hit 29 homers with 115 RBIs when he was 35 years old (Ortiz hit 29 homers with 96 RBIs at the same age). What’d that get Vlad? A one-year deal with the Orioles for $7.6 million. Ortiz gets nearly twice that, and he’s upset.

He does have a point that the team wastes billions in bad contracts like J.D. Drew, Carl Crawford, John Lackey, etc. But whining about it like he deserves better, after he’s made just shy of $100 million since 2003, is ridiculous. He should be embarrassed and humiliated not for the way the Sox treated him but instead because he’s acting like such a spoiled baby.

Keefe: Whenever you have Red Sox fans saying that they are pissed at Ortiz you know things are going well. Now if only we can get you to write an entire email bashing Dave Roberts I will feel like I have won the war and I will no longer need to talk to you.

Getting up to Boston early in the week for the series has allowed me to catch Felger and Mazz on Comcast SportsNet New England and it has been filled with caller after caller saying that they are Red Sox fans since (insert some year from many decades ago) and they actually root for the Red Sox to lose. They hate the players on the team and they hate Bobby Valentine and they hate that the players are losers who whine all the time. This has all made me feel the type of joy that I have heard people only feel after the birth of one of their children.

The problem is winning cures everything. And while I would like to think that people in Boston are as miserable and pessimistic about their baseball team as they were pre-2004, which was the last strike-shortened season in which where there weren’t any playoffs or World Series, I know that if the Red Sox go on a run and start stringing together wins rather than losses against teams like the Mariners and A’s, Bostonians will be singing a different tune. It won’t matter to them that David Ortiz makes the money he does and participates in each game for only a matter of minutes each night or that Josh Beckett has no respect for the fans or the city and will do whatever the eff Josh Beckett wants to do because Theo Epstein handed him a ridiculous contract extension.

I would like to think that the division isn’t in play for the Red Sox, but I’m not stupid enough to say that, let alone in writing, and have it come back to bit me. But if the Red Sox can stay afloat they will be in play for that one-game playoff that we both love. And if they are in play for that will you change your feelings about the team and the new wild-card format?

Hurley: No. The new wild-card format is an atrocity of incredible proportions. It takes a 162-game season’s worth of effort and flushes it down the toilet in three hours. And you know what? If an underachieving team like the Red Sox sleepwalks through the whole season and ends up winning that one-game playoff against a team with five or six more wins, then my rage will only be tripled. That’s not what a 162-game season is for, and that’s not right.

But yeah, despite all the issues we’ve already talked about, the Sox remain a good weekend away from jumping into that wild-card spot (which is absurd). And they’re definitely good enough to do it, provided the starting pitching can become even halfway decent and Ellsbury can return at even 80 percent of what he was last year.

But the division? No way. I know Ken Rosenthal said if they get a starting pitcher and dump Kevin Youkilis and just “be patient” then they’d be able to win the division, but that’s really nuts. If it were just the Red Sox and Yankees that were competitive teams, maybe, but Tampa is there, and Baltimore and Toronto really aren’t bad. It’s going to be impossible for the Red Sox to leapfrog everyone, especially when they go 1-5 against Oakland.

And Dave Roberts is a saint. Watch your mouth.

Keefe: Let’s talk about what happened to Kevin Youkilis. If the Red Sox win one more game last September then they get to the one-game playoff against the Rays. If they win two more games they make the playoffs. If they do either of those things Terry Francona is still the manager and I think Kevin Youkilis is still the third baseman.

But like I once told you, the “if” game is for losers like Patriots fans who say, “If Wes Welker and Tom Brady connect then the Giants lose the Super Bowl” or “If Rob Gronkowski’s ankle is 100 percent then the Giants lose the Super Bowl.” We’ll keep the “ifs” for losers like Patriots fans. Thankfully neither of us are Patriots fans. (And there is my Giants Super Bowl reference that you say I always have to make in these emails.)

When Youkilis was removed for a pinch runner, Bobby Valentine stood in the dugout clapping and was motioning for the other guys on the team to join him on the top step. There was Adrian Gonzalez clapping for Youkilis as he gave his farewell to Fenway Park. One of the faces of the franchise and the change of culture to the Red Sox over the last eight years was leaving the game and the park and the team while the new faces of the team that has ruined everything Youkilis helped build watched him exit. I feel like a high school freshman English teacher getting all sappy about symbolism.

I understand playing time for Will Middlebrooks became a necessity and along with the finances of the situation it made sense for Youkilis to get moved, but the whole thing and the way it happened just has a stink to it. (Don’t get me wrong, I like the stink it has to it.) You knew that with a change of scenery the guy was going to perform again where he didn’t have to deal with Bobby Valentine’s BS and limited action. I have always hated Youkilis and still do, but I have always respected him and always wanted him on my team. I’m just glad the Red Sox decided differently.

Hurley: I thought the sendoff from the fans was an incredible moment. I’m as cold-hearted as it gets. Some people (believe it or not) even think I’m a real A-hole. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the emotion of that one. Even a cynical bastard like me couldn’t pick it apart, because really, Youkilis deserved that kind of thank you from the fans, and it’s very rare that athletes have the chance to get it like that.

But watching Bob Valentine grandstand on the top step like he was convincing his buddy to get out there and take a curtain call? Puke-inducing. Give me a break.

As far as the trade itself goes, they got next to nothing for him and had to pay most of his salary, which is what I expected. Teams knew the Sox were desperate to get rid of him, so they held all the leverage. It definitely won’t go in the Ben Cherington Hall of Fame, but he didn’t have too much to work with here. I do think Middlebrooks is ready to play every day (if his hammy heals) and I thought the Sox were playing with fire every single time they put Adrian Gonzalez in right field. He’s so slow, I’m pretty sure you could run faster than him on a Friday night at 2:30 a.m. And I’ve seen you on Friday nights at 2:30 a.m.

And frankly, I’m glad to see him do well with Chicago. He was a bit of a gruff person who didn’t always go out of his way to make himself seem like the nicest guy in the world, but he played the game hard and he (sorry, cliché time) played it the right way. He was the definition of a guy who never takes a second on the field for granted, and he was willing to play any position the manager asked. It’s too bad his Red Sox career ended unceremoniously, and it’s awful that Bob V gets to stick around while a World Series winner gets shipped to Chicago, but that’s how it works.

Keefe: Well, Youkilis did hit a walk-off single on Wednesday and then added a solo shot on Thursday that ended up being the game-winner. So at least you can say he was a homegrown player!

It wouldn’t be right if we didn’t dedicate one part of this email to the man known as Bobby Valentine (or Bob Valentine to you.)

He has a two-year deal. His team is currently tied for last place in the division. If the Yankees do what they are capable of doing this weekend at Fenway then the city of Boston will have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday with nothing to talk about other than what is wrong with the Red Sox and who should go and what needs to be done to fix the team. If Ray Allen re-signs with the Celtics and doesn’t do something crazy like sign with the Heat then they will really have nothing to talk about. (Unless Tim Thomas decides to join Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in the election process.) Not having CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte sucks, but not having them for this series to step on the Red Sox’ throat hurts even more.

So what are we to make of Bobby Valentine’s first semester as Red Sox manager? I want you to file it under “colossal failure” but I don’t think even you will do that since it’s not like he was given the ideal pieces to win. But this team with this payroll already got the most revered manager in the franchise’s history fired, so what’s stopping them from getting the ringleader of the circus booted?

Hurley: Bob V, as much as I’m not a fan, hasn’t been all that bad. He had a big adjustment period in April, when he was way too slow to pull guys out of games and seemed truly frightened to argue with umpires. Maybe in Japan you’re not allowed to argue, but here you’re technically not either, so I’m not sure he has an excuse. Either way, I thought he was awful in April and cost them a couple of wins.

Since then though, he’s kind of hit a groove. He played Middlebrooks, and that worked out in the form of 10 homers. He really worked the bullpen well, to the point where they were best in the league for a long stretch of the season, using guys like Scott Atchison and Matt Albers (in real life!). He hasn’t been afraid to “ride the hot hand,” and it’s worked out with people like Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who’s finally playing to his potential, and Daniel Nava, who was somehow playing like a real life major league outfielder for a while.

But like you said earlier with winning solving everything, losing can blow everything up. You can bet a last place finish will spell the premature end for Bob Valentine (for those not in the know, I refuse to refer to a man in his 60s as “Bobby”), and then we can have another four month-long managerial search to follow! Go Red Sox!

Keefe: Four games this weekend including a doubleheader on Saturday and pitching matchups of Hiroki Kuroda-Josh Beckett, Phil Hughes-Franklin Morales, Freddy Garcia-Felix Doubront and Ivan Nova-Jon Lester. I thought we might see some crazy lopsided matchups, but they actually ended up being about as good as can be without CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte. Still these two teams leave the over/under of hours of baseball played this weekend at 18 and the total runs at 44. I’m taking the over on both, you?

And as much as I would like to see the Yankees go into Boston and sweep the four-game series the way they did at the Stadium in August 2009 and similar to the five-game sweep at Fenway in 2006, the Yankees really just need to split this weekend to prevent the Red Sox from gaining any ground and from ripping four more games off the schedule.

Hopefully when I talk to you on Monday you are avoiding me because the Red Sox are double-digit games back and you will be counting down the days until the Patriots’ Week 1 game.

Hurley: I can guarantee that no matter what happens, no matter how many hours of baseball is played, no matter how many runs are scored and no matter which team wins the series, I will be avoiding you on Monday. Enjoy the weekend, pal.

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