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Tag: Daniel Nava

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The Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Is Missing Its Summer Significance

The Yankees and Red Sox haven’t played in over two months, but they are this weekend in the Bronx and that means another email exchange with Mike Hurley.

New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox

A Yankees-Red Sox series at the end of June used to feel like a summer playoff series. But here we are on June 27 and the Yankees are 40-37 and three games out of first place and the Red Sox are 36-43 and eight games out of first place. Sure, we have Masahiro Tanaka against Jon Lester on national TV on Saturday at the Stadium, but we also have Vidal Nuno against Brandon Workman on Friday night.

With the Yankees and Red Sox both battling to make up ground on the Blue Jays and get back to the top of the AL East, I emailed Mike Hurley of CBS Boston because that’s what I do whenever the Yankees and Red Sox play each other.

Keefe: The last time we talked was April 22. That was 65 days ago. But there’s nothing like Major League Baseball scheduling two Yankees-Red Sox series in the freezing cold before April 22 and then not having the two teams play for more than nine weeks. Why is it so hard for baseball to get their scheduling right? But I guess if we’re going to sit here and trade emails about what’s wrong with the way Major League Baseball operates, the problems with their scheduling would likely be item No. 297 on the list and that might even be high.

Since we last talked, the AL East has been filled with mediocrity between the Yankees, Red Sox, Blue Jays and Orioles (we won’t mention the Rays because they are already counting down the days until Game 162 and a six-month vacation). The Yankees won that three-game series that started in Boston on April 22, but since then they have gone 27-28. The Red Sox have gone 26-30. There’s nothing quite like the Yankees and Red Sox both playing under-.500 baseball for two months and being featured on Sunday Night Baseball this weekend!

When the Red Sox won the division and then the American League and then the World Series last year after the one-year Bobby Valentine era, I was infuriated. The Dodgers had let them off the hook from their financial crisis that would have ruined them for at least six or seven years and then every player they picked up in the offseason performed exactly how a Red Sox fan would have hoped in an ideal world. What the Red Sox experienced last season and in the postseason would be like you correctly picking every NFL game against the spread for the first five weeks of the season. That’s how insane their success was. And what infuriates me more is that this year we are seeing what the Red Sox should have been in 2013. The 2013 Red Sox should have been the 2014 Red Sox! They are the same team! Doesn’t anyone notice this? Or is it just Mugatu and me?

Hurley: You’re not taking crazy pills. Well, you might be taking crazy pills, but you’re right about this.

You look at the 2014 Red Sox and ask yourself what are the differences from the 2013 Red Sox?

Jarrod Saltalamacchia is now A.J. Pierzysnki. A downgrade, but Saltalmacchia was not Saltalmaggio.

Will Middlebrooks is now Xander Bogaerts. That’s a minor upgrade or a wash.

Jacoby Ellsbury is now Jackie Bradley Jr. Huge downgrade.

Shane Victorino is now The Ghost of Shane Victorino. He’s currently on the disabled list due to having a sore body. I feel like he spent the offseason the Mike Hurley diet, aka eating Burger King for lunch and Wendy’s for dinner. He was on the road to recovery this year at the same time that Louis C.K. and Robert Kelly introduced the idea of a “bang-bang” on Louie, and then boom, Victorino took a step back in his rehab. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

You also see guys like Daniel Nava go from .303/.385/.445 to .227/.317/.313. Mike Carp’s .885 OPS from 2013 is now .603 in 2014. Jonny Gomes, the guy want to go to war with, is crushing it with a .232 batting average and .693 OPS.

Even David Ortiz is doing poorly. You wouldn’t know it just by looking at his 18 homers and 49 RBIs, but he’s hitting just .256 with an .841 OPS. Just once since his Minnesota days has he posted an OPS lower than that. For some perspective, Brock Holt has three more doubles than Ortiz in 95 fewer at-bats. Brock Holt.

And Dustin Pedroia has a .715 OPS. His worst-ever OPS in a full season was .787 last year. His second-worst OPS was .797 … in 2012. Dustin’s trending the wrong way.

All of that is to say yes, it’s mostly the same team. The difference is last year, you saw everyone performing at their highest possible level. This year it’s the complete opposite.

Keefe: Thank you for agreeing with me. That is the first time ever. I will be recording the date and time. But you agreeing me only makes me sadder that the 2013 Red Sox should have won 72 games and been a laughingstock for the second straight year and Ben Cherington wouldn’t be viewed in the same light as Theo Epstein in Boston and John Henry and his hated ownership group would have probably sold the team. If I didn’t have a degree in journalism, maybe I would have enough money to fund a start-up to build a time machine and go back in time to August 2012 and tell the MLB front office not to allow the Red Sox-Dodgers trade. That way Josh Beckett would still be fat, lazy and on the disabled list playing golf in Boston, Adrian Gonzalez would be striking out against position player pitchers in extra innings and getting his empty calorie stat, Carl Crawford would be writing blogs about how unfairly he is treated despite getting $142 million to play baseball at a below-average rate and Nick Punto … well , who effing cares about what Nick Punto would be doing.

Your point about Dustin Pedroia is interesting because if you told me right now the Yankees could have any position player from any team right now, I would pick Mike Trout first because he’s Mike Trout then I would pick Troy Tulowitzki because the Yankees don’t know who their 2015 shortstop is going to be and then I would pick Dustin Pedroia. He is everything that baseball and baseball players should be about, he’s impossible to get out (though if he’s hitting .265/.338/.377 someone is gettimg him out) and he’s best friends with Derek Jeter (or at least I like to pretend they are best friends every since the 2009 World Baseball Classic). I hate Dustin Pedroia, but I don’t. It’s the Tom Brady conundrum all over again.

But back to your point that he’s trending downward … that’s eye opening because he’s only 30. He has a team-friendly contract, so it’s not like the Red Sox will be screwed if he turns into Jason Bay, but are Dustin Pedroia’s best days really truly behind him? Is he going to become Kevin Youkilis 2012-13 and end up playing in Japan at some point? Please tell me this is going to happen.

Hurley: I do not believe his best days are behind him. Honestly, he’s kind of a psycho, so the more people start talking about how bad his numbers are, and the more people start publicly asking questions like that, the more likely it is that his psycho genes kick in and inspire him to go on some sort of tear, hit .480 with a 1.080 OPS in the month of July, and then tell him to start swearing at the media for ever questioning him.

At the very least, he’s a Gold Glove second baseman. I’m not entirely too concerned that he’s in full decline. He is a guy who tore a ligament in his thumb on opening day in the Bronx last year but still played all season and won the World Series, so if I were to be concerned about anything, it’s that his style of play lends itself to getting hurt more often. Banged-up wrists, busted fingers and the like make it hard to hit, and I think that’s something he’s always going to be dealing with, based on the way he plays the game.

If you could take any position player from the Red Sox though, please take Xander Bogaerts. I feel bad for the kid. His swing looks like that of a young Manny Ramirez, and he’s going to mash in this league. And you could solve your shortsop problem, too. Granted, Bogaerts isn’t an elite defensive shortstop, but he’d be replacing Old Man Jeter, who is essentially playing shortstop at the level of a trash can with a Rawlings duct-taped to its side. Bogaerts would look exceptional by comparison.

Keefe: I will pretend like you didn’t just say those things about Derek Jeter, who turned 40 yesterday. 40! Forty! F-O-R-T-Y! Is this real life? He was the Opening Day shortstop for the Yankees when we were in fourth grade! I was in Miss Ryan’s class playing freeze tag in Mr. Fonicello’s gym class. You were somewhere in Massachusetts probably visiting the nurse after pulling your hamstring in gym class. But Derek Jeter is 40, we graduated high school 10 years ago and your first child is on the way. Now I’m going to put on some 90s alternative rock and cry.

I’m still not convinced that Derek Jeter won’t be the Yankees shortstop next season, but then again, I’m still waiting for Don Mattingly to start at first base and hit third in the Yankees lineup and it’s been 19 years since his last played. The baseball season always feels long, and it is, but when you think that there’s only half a season and three months of Derek Jeter left, it’s devastating. But I’m also aware that I’m more upset and distraught about this than he is, and I shouldn’t be since I got to watch him play for nearly two decades and the Yankees won’t have a shortshop slugging .327 next season (let’s hope) and he is going to go live his life and spend the $265,159,364 he has made in his career and travel the world and have children with super models half his age. I think he will be fine once he has played his last game.

On the flip side, David Ortiz, who will be 39 years old this November and is still crying about official scorer’s and will soon be crying about his contract, has ho-hummed his way to 18 home runs in 77 games this year. Sure, he’s hitting just .256, but Ortiz having 18 home runs before the end of June after hitting .997 in the World Series last year at the age of 38? Is Ortiz on the Barry Bonds  workout regimen and diet? Actually, I already know he is. I’m just looking for you to agree with me about something else.

Hurley: I don’t know. Do you look at David Ortiz and go, “Yeah, there’s a guy who’s unnaturally muscular”? I think he’s just a huge dude who’s an exceptional hitter. I’m not naive enough to think he’s not taking something, I just don’t think that something is the same kind of something that leads Melky Cabrera to become a webmaster or Manny Ramirez to start growing C cups.

Ortiz is just an exceptional power hitter. I don’t like most of the things about him — he may have outdone himself with the hissy fit he threw at the official scorer — but he’s really been something to watch. He’s a big dude with a lot of power, and naturally people are going to assume he’s cheating when he succeeds into his late 30s. But I don’t think he’s on the Ryan Braun workout regimen.

I know this is your website and all, but can we talk about John Lackey? Please? The guy signed a contract that specifically said, “If you miss significant time due to your right elbow, we will tack on one more year that major league minimum salary.” He signed on the dotted line. And now that he doesn’t suck at pitching, he’s running to Ken Rosenthal — Ken Rosenthal!! — to not-so-slyly leak out the news that he’ll retire before ever playing for $500,000. This is the same guy who happily collected $15.25 million in 2012 to lightly jog in the morning and then double-fist Bud Lights at night. Now that his contract is coming around, he’s ready to stomp his feet, take his ball and go home. Baseball players never cease to amaze me.

Keefe: Is there time to talk about John Lackey? Is that a serious question? There is ALWAYS time talk about John Lackey! ALWAYS!

John Lackey is the worst, and if Josh Beckett didn’t exist, Lackey would be the easy choice for my annual All-Animosity Team. He is pure scum on top of scum and I’m not sure how he has a single fan. He signed a five-year, $82.5 million A.J. Burnett deal before 2010 and in the first two years he went 26-23 with a 5.26 ERA. Then he missed the entire 2012 season. Last year he went 10-13 with a 3.52 on a division-winning and World Series-winning team and now he’s 8-5 with a 3.45. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that he is upset that he would only make $500,000 next year, but it’s a little ironic that he didn’t think he should only be making $500,000 when he had a 1.619 WHIP in 2011.

You’re right about baseball players and they never cease to amaze me either. The other day the Mets’ Josh Thole was on with Mike Francesa, and I didn’t listen to it, but after I saw someone tweet that Thole sounds like the nicest guy in the world. And after reading that I thought, yeah maybe he is, but chances are he isn’t because he’s a baseball player. Give me an NHL player any day.

And since I was able to seamlessly throw the NHL into the mix, how depressed are you that there isn’t hockey to watch every night right now?

Hurley: It sucks hockey ended. People around here are talking about Bruins draft prospects for No. 25. Oh my God. Is there anything less exciting than talking about who the hockey team is going to draft with the 25th pick? Holy smokes. It’s just that, and then Jarome Iginla speculation. That’s hockey life here in Boston. What a thrill.

How depressed are you knowing that the Rangers’ making the Cup Final is a complete random fluke, like the Devils two years ago, and they’ll probably stink for a while and waste more years of the game’s best goalie?

Keefe:  Speculating about the 25th overall draft pick is impressive because that not only means you are worried about which 18-year-old kid the Bruins are going to draft, who likely will never have an impact on the franchise, but it also means you have to speculate about the 24 picks before the Bruins’ pick to figure out who is going to be available. And if you’re taking time to do that, go outside, it’s June. Or find a hobby. Or go meet some actual people and interact with other humans. Do something.

The Rangers’ run to the Cup was a product of a lot of luck and bounces (that ran out in the Final) and having the path to the Cup cleared for them by the Canadiens. It was reminiscent of the Giants’ runs in 2011 when they beat the Packers and then the 49ers beat the Saints, preventing the Giants from having to play in New Orleans, which would have resulted in a 63-17 loss. Then the Saints would have played the Patriots in the Super Bowl, and if that happens, maybe the Patriots aren’t Super Bowl-less for what will now be a decade this year. But yes, I’m upset that this one Final appearance might be all Henrik Lundqvist gets because he has Dan Girardi preventing scoring opportunities for more than one-third of every Rangers game.

Now that you have made me sad, when I was getting happy about the Red Sox’ awful season, the decline of Dustin Pedroia, David Ortiz being a bad person and John Lackey being scum, it’s time to end this email exchange. The next time we talk will be in August when the Yankees go to Fenway for a three-game weekend series. Maybe then we can finally have our fistfight on Lansdowne Street?

Hurley: As you’ve already mentioned, we’re getting older, and as I get older, my rage cools considerably. Let’s just have 100 beers and call it even.

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Yankees and Red Sox Headed in Different Directions

The Yankees and Red Sox meet in the Bronx this weekend for a three-game series and even though it’s meaningless, it calls for an email exchange with Mike Hurley.

When I first looked at the 2012 Yankees schedule I thought this weekend’s series would be crucial in determining  who would win the division and who would try their luck in Bud Selig’s one-game playoff. But this series isn’t crucial, and it’s weird that the Yankees and Red Sox will meet with 13 games separating them in the loss column. I said it’s “weird,” I didn’t say it’s “bad.”

With the Yankees and Red Sox meeting set for three games in the Bronx I sent Mike Hurley the mandatory email to let him know that the baseball season is still going on. I’m surprised he replied.

Keefe: I made the subject of the initial email I sent to you “Yacht Party” hoping that you would think it was an invitation from John Henry to join him on his yacht to bring up team morale for the Red Sox. That is what the ownership group in Boston does when things are going poorly at this time of the year, right?

This is our first email exchange since July 6, but we also did a podcast on July 27. Neither time did we actually talk about the actual games or the series, and neither time did you have any Yankees-related questions for me. Instead we spent thousands of words and 34 minutes and two seconds of a podcast talking about the issues surrounding the Red Sox. Now that things are even worse than they were the last two times we talked, why would we change what’s working?

I’m not sure where Jeff Passan ranks on my list of heroes, but he’s definitely in the conversation. After the John Lackey double-fisting story there seemed to be a lull for a day or two with the Red Sox’ clubhouse drama, which was unusual for the the last 11 months and I started to wonder if that would be it for the backstabbing and anonymous sources until the end of the season when there is likely to be even more. Then Jeff Passan comes along and blows away every other Red Sox storyline since the fried chicken and beer stories became public last fall.

There’s just so much in Passan’s story that I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like a five-year-old staring at a mountain of Christmas presents and having no clue which one to open first. I know you’re supposed to save the biggest gift for last, but eff that. Let’s start with the guy who I thought was invincible in Boston. (Then again, I thought Tim Thomas was invincible in Boston a year ago.)

With David Ortiz out of the lineup, and talking about his contract and calling Boston a sh-thole when he’s in the lineup, and Kevin Youkilis now playing for the other Sox, Dustin Pedroia is currently the only player you could consider the face of the Red Sox, but it seems like that idea is slowly fading.

Pedroia was outed by Passan as co-chair of the Anti-Bobby Valentine Club along with Adrian Gonzalez (don’t worry we’ll get to the defending AL Player of the Week) and it was the first time I can remember where Pedroia came out as a bad guy in his major league career. Of course with the release of this story I listened to Boston sports radio and callers were, for likely the first time in history, going against Pedroia and even saying he needs to go.

While it seems like nearly all of Boston despises Bobby V, is it possible that Pedroia and Gonzalez are starting to make Bobby V a sympathetic figure?

Hurley: It was incredible the other day when irate fans were calling in to 98.5 The Sports Hub and saying they were no longer going to wear their Pedroia jerseys. One guy even said his son’s favorite player was Pedroia but he’s no longer allowed to wear his Pedroia shirt. That may be more indicative of his overbearing parenting tactics than the overall feeling of the fan base, but it gives you an indication of how things are going around here.

The thing with this is that it’s just so complicated and there are so many layers to it, it’s really hard to unravel all the way to try to gain some real understanding and generate some valid opinions. I mean, take Pedroia for example. The guy plays his ass off every night, so there’s no problems with him on the field (though he might want to hit .300 before he stages a mutiny). And he took a team-friendly deal long before free agency, definitely passing up big bucks in doing so (he makes $8 million this year). He truly appears to be playing the game for the right reasons, and that’s respectable.

On the other hand, he gets paid $8 million to play baseball, so he should probably just stick to playing baseball. Unless Bob Valentine was peeing in Dusty’s locker and leaving old deli meats to bake in the sun on Pedroia’s dashboard, his situation can’t be so bad that he needs to lead the charge to get the manager fired. I absolutely believe Passan’s story 100 percent and I don’t believe one word that’s come out of Pedroia, Gonzalez, Valentine or most of all ownership since the story broke. It happened, and they’re embarrassed, as they should be.

In the long run, I don’t think Pedroia will be painted in a negative light for a very long time. For one, he’s going to outlast Valentine. Hell, this email exchange may outlast Valentine. And he’s not going to change on the field, which ultimately is why people like baseball players to begin with. I think. I really don’t know anymore.

And um. Did you say Adrian Gonzalez is the defending AL Player of the Week? I believe you mean defending AL Co-Player of the Week. He still was given a free watch, though. I’m really happy for him. That’s two free watches this year!

Keefe: Gonzalez has made out pretty nice since arriving in Boston. So far he has received a $154-million contract extension and has now earned a pair of watches. Who cares that he was part of the worst September collapse in history last year or that he won’t play in a postseason game this year? I certainly don’t.

I have waited for the day that Boston would turn on Pedroia, and I never thought it would come because who thought it could get this bad? If this thing can reach Pedroia and force Boston parents to not allow their children to wear his jersey, just how much worse can it get it? I have an answer: much worse.

Larry Lucchino defended Bobby Valentine on WEEI on Thursday and said that he would not be fired this season. But if you believe what Larry Lucchino says then you probably believe the one-game playoff is good for baseball. Bobby Valentine is going to get fired for this season because the Red Sox ownership might be out of touch with what goes on with their team now that all of their attention is focused on soccer, but they aren’t that out of touch to see the empty seats at Fenway and the way their investment in perceived throughout the city and in the media. There is no way they can go into 2013 with this team led by this man.

While things were bad last September under Terry Francona, things didn’t really come out until the season was over and Francona was gone, so he never had to manage with the media and public being in on the toxicity of the clubhouse. Valentine has had control of the team through the entire aftermath of last September and whether or not injuries are responsible for this season, he has done nothing to prove he is the type of leader that can change things. (This is also why I hope he doesn’t get fired and continues to set the Red Sox back years.) So whether he gets fired at Yankee Stadium this weekend or the following week or on Sept. 6 (my pick in the Bobby V Firing Pool) or at the end of the season, he’s going to get fired for what’s happened this year.

The one thing we knew and have been reminded about Bobby V is that he has a big mouth and will say anything and everything to anyone at anytime. (That felt a little Michael Scott-esque.) And when Bobby V gets fired it’s all going to come out. Anything that will put the players and the ownership group in a negative light will reach the media, and the Red Sox will respond with a Nomar/Manny/Francona-like slandering of Valentine. It’s going to be glorious.

When Bobby Valentine gets fired, the Red Sox and their fans are going to long for the days of fried chicken and beer and Jeff Passan.

Hurley: The way you can write for days without actually asking a question is truly impressive. Bravo.

Valentine is very much like Michael Scott in terms of ineptitude, but the difference is that Michael Scott is likable. I really don’t see a reason to like Valentine. I don’t see any reason to like any 62-year-old man who goes by “Bobby.”

It’s going to be tough for Lucchino to fire Valentine, considering it was Lucchino who forced the hiring because BOBBY just had so much pep! He rides his bike around! He shoots from the hip! Ha! He’ll be a real hoot!!

So really Larry should fire himself before firing Valentine, but we all know that’s not going to happen.

And speaking of ownership, you might’ve missed the story from the Liverpool Echo this week, in which Henry blames Tom Hicks for all the team’s problems, even though Henry’s owned the team for two full years. Excuses, excuses, excuses. I’m not sure Henry can get his yacht over to England to pump up the players, but I don’t think his comments in the story are going to help.

Some highlights:

“The best analogy is that you can’t turn an ocean liner around like you can turn a speedboat.”

“We knew we could never be on an equal footing financially with the Yankees. But we had to do everything in our power to get on a level footing with them on the playing field. That was a tremendous challenge. You could say Liverpool is an even bigger challenge than the Red Sox.

“We came into this not knowing an awful lot about football,” he admitted.

Keefe: I think my biggest problem with Bobby isn’t that he’s called a baseball “genius” or that people think everything he does is calculated (if anything he shouldn’t want this reputation because why would you want to be perceived as calculated when you’re the manager of a horrible team), but it’s his smugness. Bobby always thinks he’s the smartest man in the room and carries this idea that he is better than everyone else. Just look at his responses to questions about the Passan story.

“Wow. Is that what was said, really? That’s what Dustin and Adrian said? It did say that? I didn’t hear that. I’m glad that July is over, because they’re still playing for me.”

And…

“I’m not going to comment on any stories because I don’t know what issues you might be referring to. Adrian’s issues? Dustin and I had a talk about a meeting I had. I don’t know if that was July.”

Let’s forget that Bobby Valentine shrugged off the meeting and pretended like it never happened even though Ben Cherington confirmed that the meeting take place. Let’s forget about that for a second and think about this: Is Jeff Passan going to publish a story to the fifth-biggest U.S. site (according to Quantcast) about a story he made up? Is he going to go out on a whim and create sources and guess that things happened just to draw attention to himself on a story that would be the most significant story regarding the Red Sox since Bob Hohler’s story? Apparently Pedroia and Gonzalez think so.

Dustin Pedroia: “I know we lost last year and we made huge signings and all kinds of stuff, but we’re trying to play the game the right way and have an organization that does things right, and just play winning baseball. It’s tough when all this stuff comes out, that everyone’s trying to get the manager fired. That’s not the case, man. I’ve never met the guy that wrote the story. That’s about it.”

Adrian Gonzalez: “The source is inaccurate. He says that I was animated and one of the most vocal guys in the meeting and that’s false. If somebody’s going to try to be an unnamed source, they better be right with what they say, because this is putting our integrity and everyone about us out there and that’s just unfair.”

I love the back and forth with the players and the media and the players just calling everyone liars when higher-ups are confirming things they are denying. And I love that the pitching staff is no longer the only focal point of this disaster, but now everyone is getting dragged into it.

Who looks the worst out of all of this? Ownership, Bobby, Pedroia or Gonzalez?

Hurley: Everyone. But if you don’t want me to take the easy way out, I’ll pick ownership.

They fired Terry Francona. They decided against letting Ben Cherington hire a baseball manager. They instead forced the hiring of a circus clown. They blamed Francona for the “culture” problem, yet they allowed Josh Beckett to give a middle finger to the media and fans when he refused to apologize for golfing while missing a start due to injury. They censored Valentine from even criticizing the player. They release BS statements via email, which speaks to their lack of accountability. Email! They give Beats by Dre headphones to players on a harbor cruise after the players complain the schedule is too grueling. They send promotional emails to tell ticket holders that everything’s OK and you should still come pay baseball’s highest ticket prices to watch “the cheerful Cody Ross” and the “inspiring Daniel Nava.”

Yes, Valentine is a goofball, and yes the players acted improperly and should feel some shame about it, but ultimately everything can be traced back to the culture fostered by ownership. They’ve acted as though they’re infallible in recent years, and it’s blown up in their face.

Keefe: I think your mention of Josh Beckett was the first mention of Josh Beckett in this exchange, which is pretty impressive because he had been the face of the September 2011-Present Red Sox, and it seems like the Passan story has put him in the background, which is a shame.

On Thursday you wrote in chronological order the turmoil that has surrounded the team since Opening Day. While all of the events have brought joy to my life I decided to pick out my five favorite moments from the list that aren’t the Passan story.

1. April 21: The Sox blow a 9-0 lead over the Yankees after five innings and eventually lose 15-9. Valentine calls it “rock bottom.”

2. May 4: Boston Globe investigates Fenway Park’s “sellout streak” and reveals it to be a “distribution streak” in which not every seat is sold.

3. May 6: In a 17-inning game against the Orioles, Adrian Gonzalez steps in to bat against designated hitter/first baseman Chris Davis, who was pitching in an emergency role. Gonzalez strikes out on three pitches. The Sox lose 9-6.

4. May 10: Josh Beckett allows 7 ER in 2.1 IP. He then refuses to apologize after the game for golfing while injured, and he delivers the now-infamous “we only get 18 off days a year” message. Also, a fan wearing a paper bag on his head becomes a national sensation as a representative of the Red Sox fan base.

5. June 21: David Ortiz says he’s not having fun and says Boston is “becoming to be the [expletive] hole that it used to be.”

You listed 29 events that make the Red Sox franchise look bad in the last four-plus months. 29! There’s still 47 days left in the season. This is only going to get better.

Which of these events is your favorite? (You can pick more than one if you want since it’s going to be hard to narrow it down.)

Hurley: I think my favorite was this one:

April 21: Red Sox acquire Marlon Byrd, who had been hitting .070 for the Cubs. He’d go on to hit .270 with the Red Sox before he was released in June, and he was later suspended for testing positive for PEDs.

What better describes the 2012 Red Sox than the acquisition of an .070 hitter from the NL Central?

I also liked this one:

April 25: Bobby Valentine admits that he didn’t know opposing pitcher Liam Hendriks was a righty, so he drew up his original lineup as though the pitcher was a lefty. Valentine said it was Jarrod Saltalamacchia who alerted him to the mistake.

I think overall, from a pure in-game management, standpoint, Valentine has done a pretty good job. But he was flat-out awful in April. He was so clueless. This was the perfect encapsulation of that.

This one was pretty good, too:

June 3: Daniel Bard lasts just 1.2 innings in Toronto, in which he allowed five earned runs while hitting two batters and walking six. He’s yet to return to the big leagues.

That’s just funny. Go Red Sox.

Keefe: I would like to thank your Red Sox for beating the Orioles on Thursday night and keeping the Yankees’ division lead at six games. Who would have thought that in the middle of August I would be rooting for the Red Sox to beat the Orioles to help the Yankees’ maintain their division lead? I’m just happy everything is playing out the way it is.

It sucks that this weekend’s series is meaningless. When I first looked at the schedule before the season I looked at this series, the mid-September series at Fenway and the last series of the season at the Stadium as the three most important series of the season. Now they are just a joke. The best part is that the ticket prices for those three September games at Fenway will only be about $8 each. I’m guessing there will empty rows and maybe even sections at Fenway for those three games, but Sam Kennedy won’t be counting those seats when he announces another sellout.

I get the feeling from this exchange that not only have you given up on the Red Sox, which you did weeks ago, but that you don’t even really like talking about them anymore. The Red Sox forced you to write about the Patriots’ first preseason game. I mean how much more sports deprived can someone get than not only watching preseason football with interest, but also feeling the need to write about it? I’m not even sure a “Sweet Caroline” sing along can fix where you’re at.

I wish I could say that I’m sorry to see you this down on your baseball team, but I can’t. All I can hope for at this point is that it continues through the final six weeks of the season and that Jeff Passan’s story was just the first of many to come out between now and Game 162.

Now that it’s over and it’s been accepted, what has to change this offseason and who’s out of Boston? (Even though it will never happen, I’ve been working to try to fit Dustin Pedroia into the Yankees infield.)

Hurley: You’re a bad person.

The whole area is much more excited about Patriots’ FAKE PRESEASON GAMES than real Red Sox games. That’s where we’re at here. I wrote a lot about that preseason game because there’s a team that will actually contend for a title this year and is run by competent people. It’s a lot more fun than writing about the Red Sox.

How do you fix the Red Sox? I don’t know. Like I said, the dysfunction starts at the top, so can you really fix it with a few simple moves?

You could start by empowering the GM to actually be the GM. That’d be a good start. Let him hire a baseball manager and not a dugout entertainer.

Ideally, you’d find a way to get rid of Beckett and Lackey, though even if you paid their entire contracts, would any team take them? If you were the GM of a team, would you take either one of those guys for free? I might take Beckett, but I’d have to think about it. For free! That’s a pretty bad situation.

You hold a meeting with the players in spring training and remind them that they’re employees. They should show up to work, play baseball, then go home, enjoy your time with your family, then come back to work the next day. You don’t get to have a say in how things are run, because things tend to unravel when that happens. (Note from Michael: This will never happen. Can you picture John Henry delivering this speech? Can you picture him even believing the message? Ha.)

You keep the lineup as is. They score plenty of runs and play pretty solid defense. As long as you can keep them in line, they’ll be fine. (Though you should maybe upgrade from Nick Punto. Just a thought.)

You let your new manager pick his staff. Do you know that the Red Sox coaches don’t talk to each other or to Valentine? In real life. It happens. So bring in a competent manager who will be able to pick competent coaches, people who can help Jon Lester get out of his funk, or can help Daniel Bard throw straight, who can help Jacoby Ellsbury find his power stroke, etc.

This team was the best team in baseball 12 months ago. At the end of August last year, with mostly the same guys, they were 83-52. This year, they’ll be lucky to be .500. They’ll be good enough to compete again next year so long as they open the wallet and take some steps to change the culture. I just don’t know if they can do that.

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Good Times Never Seemed So Good in Boston

The Yankees are in Boston for a four-game series with the Red Sox and that means it’s time for another email exchange with Mike Hurley.

It feels like it’s been years since the Yankees and Red Sox last played against each other, and it kind of has been. It’s been 76 days since the two teams last met, and that happened to be the day the Yankees erased an eight-run deficit after six innings at Fenway Park.

The Yankees have exactly half of their season left to play, and out of those 81 games, 16 of them will be against the Red Sox. And with so many games left against each other, that means that there are a lot of email exchanges left between Mike Hurley and me. With the Yankees in Boston for a four-game series this weekend I sent Hurley the mandatory Yankees-Red Sox email to let him know my presence in his city this weekend.

Keefe: So we meet again. I figured you were waiting for this email since the Yankees are in town. I can picture you checking your phone every time it vibrates to see if it’s an email for me. Actually your phone probably makes a ringing or beep noise when you get an email because you don’t seem like the type of person that would courteous enough to put it on vibrate.

The Yankees have a five-game lead on the division and a 7 1/2-game lead on the Red Sox (eight in the loss column). Despite going 1-2 against the Rays this week, the Yankees still managed to pick up another game on the Red Sox after they were swept in Oakland.

In December 2010 you were excited for a Red Sox-Phillies World Series in 2011, and instead the 2011 Red Sox, who were supposed to challenge the 1927 Yankees as the greatest team ever, didn’t even make the playoffs. When the team was falling apart in September and anonymous sources were snitching on the players and pitching staff and other anonymous sources (cough, Larry Lucchino, cough, cough) were trying to destroy Terry Francona’s reputation, I never thought things could possibly get better. But then 2012 happened.

John Lackey is out for the year and Carl Crawford hasn’t played a game. Jacoby Ellsbury has been injured for nearly the whole season and Josh Beckett was playing golf on his off day despite being unable to pitch due to injury. David Ortiz called Boston a “sh-thole” and then said he was embarrassed and humiliated about his contract status even though he makes $14.575 million to only hit. Daniel Bard is now blowing saves in Triple-A and the Red Sox’ closer, Andrew Bailey, hasn’t thrown a pitch this season while the guy they traded for him, Josh Reddick, looks like he could have been the right fielder of the future for the Red Sox.

It has been beautiful to watch and a glorious first half for the Red Sox. I guess my only question for you is did I leave anything out?

Hurley: God, you’re such an A-hole. When Ortiz said Boston was becoming a “sh-thole,” he must have known you were coming to visit.

But did you miss anything? Seriously? OK, here we go (I’m going with a bulleted list format here for simplicity’s sake:

– Daniel Nava bats leadoff.

– Darnell McDonald plays 38 games (enjoy the Darnell era in New York!).

– The Red Sox trade FOR Marlon Byrd. Then dump him. Then he gets busted for PEDs.

– Kevin Youkilis gets traded and goes something like 9-for-10 with a home run and a walk-off hit for the White Sox.

– Kelly Shoppach complains to Bobby Valentine about playing time. Kelly Shoppach!

– Adrian Gonzalez is tied for 146th in home runs. He has six in 324 at-bats. Here are people who have hit more home runs than Gonzalez, with their at-bat total in parentheses: Shelley Duncan (154), Brandon Inge (181), Andruw Jones (113), Todd Frazier (168), Justin Maxwell (121), Jonny Gomes (142), Will Middlebrooks (171), Mitch Moreland (158), Brandon Moss (78!), Scott Hairston (173), Cody Ross (189), Allen Craig (160).

– Nick Punto plays 46 games, hits .180.

– Scott Podsednik becomes a stabilizing force in the outfield. Seriously. Then he gets hurt and goes on the DL.

– Jon Lester goes 5-5 with a 4.33 ERA. His career numbers: 81-39, 3.61 ERA.

– Sox go 2-5 on a road trip to face juggernauts in Seattle and Oakland.

Other than that, it’s been a pretty good season. How are the Yankees doing?

Keefe: The Yankees? They’re doing good enough that if they split this weekend at Fenway, they will still be eight games ahead of the Red Sox in the loss column.

I’m mad at myself for forgetting so many important negative things about the Red Sox. I pride myself in trying to be the go-to guy for negative Red Sox storylines and I forgot so many, so I would like to apologize to everyone for that.

Let’s take a deeper look at David Ortiz’s comments to USA Today though since you wrote and tweeted heavily about them on Thursday and since it’s a perfect Red Sox off-day story in Boston for the media to feast on a day before the Yankees arrive at Fenway. Seriously, can you think of better timing for this story to take over? I can’t.

Here is what David Ortiz said to USA Today about his contract.

“It was humiliating. There’s no reason a guy like me should go through that. All I was looking for was two years, at the same salary ($12.5 million). They ended up giving me $3 million more than that (actually $2.025 million), and look at my numbers this year. Tell me if they wouldn’t have been better off. And yet they don’t hesitate to sign other guys. It was embarrassing.”

“If you go crazy and give contracts to whoever comes along despite not knowing how they’re going to do, then you don’t give me my due consideration, even though I do my thing every year, [expletive] that. I’m going to be open to anything. My mentality is not going to be, ‘I like it here.’ It’s going to be, ‘Bring it to the table, and we’ll see what happens.’”

David Ortiz is making $14.575 million this season, and in case anyone forgot, he doesn’t play in the field. That means he makes $89,969.14 per game and $39,931.51 per day over a calendar year. I’m not sure what’s so humiliating about that.

Apparently Ortiz can predict the future by saying the team would be better off by giving him a two-year deal since he knows that he will have the same production next year. But the Red Sox offered him two years and $20 million and he turned it down and went to arbitration instead and settled on this deal with the Red Sox, according to a Ben Cherington email to USA Today.

This story will likely lead to the media asking Ortiz if he would play for the Yankees because people love stories like that (especially with the Yankees in Boston) even if the Yankees aren’t about to lock up their DH spot to an aging player when they need that spot for their already aging players. And while I don’t think Ortiz has any chance of playing in the Bronx, I would like to see him go somewhere other than Boston, so he can find out if there are any other “s-hit holes” that have MLB teams.

Hurley: I generally look at these little tirades as cutesy little David moments, the times when he goes absolutely nuts for no real, rational reason and it drives him to hit 35 homers and drive in 100 runs and nobody ends up really remembering. But this one, for whatever reason, really pissed me off.

It’s probably because it’s the second time in two weeks he’s gone out of his way to selfishly complain about himself and his contract. Two weeks ago, he said he wasn’t having much fun this year. Poor baby! He’s only making $23,737 for every plate appearance, meaning in one night he earns enough to pay off the college loans that will take you 40 years to pay off, but the guy is not having fun! I just feel bad for him!

And now he’s mad that the team didn’t give him a two-year deal for $26 million? Let’s see … exactly who was it that forced Ortiz to agree to arbitration? Oh it was his agent, who probably told Ortiz that he’d get nothing better on the free-agent market. And who signed his name on the bottom of a one-year contract that gave him a $2 million raise at the age of 36? That was Ortiz.

If he wasn’t happy about any of it, he could have rejected arbitration and become a free agent, or he could have gone into the arbitration hearing and awaited the ruling. Chances are he wouldn’t have gotten a $2 million raise, and as a result, he’ll now make more money in 2012 and 2013 than he initially wanted, and this upsets him greatly.

If he wants to talk disrespect, maybe he should call future Hall of Famer Vladimir Guerrero. The guy hit 29 homers with 115 RBIs when he was 35 years old (Ortiz hit 29 homers with 96 RBIs at the same age). What’d that get Vlad? A one-year deal with the Orioles for $7.6 million. Ortiz gets nearly twice that, and he’s upset.

He does have a point that the team wastes billions in bad contracts like J.D. Drew, Carl Crawford, John Lackey, etc. But whining about it like he deserves better, after he’s made just shy of $100 million since 2003, is ridiculous. He should be embarrassed and humiliated not for the way the Sox treated him but instead because he’s acting like such a spoiled baby.

Keefe: Whenever you have Red Sox fans saying that they are pissed at Ortiz you know things are going well. Now if only we can get you to write an entire email bashing Dave Roberts I will feel like I have won the war and I will no longer need to talk to you.

Getting up to Boston early in the week for the series has allowed me to catch Felger and Mazz on Comcast SportsNet New England and it has been filled with caller after caller saying that they are Red Sox fans since (insert some year from many decades ago) and they actually root for the Red Sox to lose. They hate the players on the team and they hate Bobby Valentine and they hate that the players are losers who whine all the time. This has all made me feel the type of joy that I have heard people only feel after the birth of one of their children.

The problem is winning cures everything. And while I would like to think that people in Boston are as miserable and pessimistic about their baseball team as they were pre-2004, which was the last strike-shortened season in which where there weren’t any playoffs or World Series, I know that if the Red Sox go on a run and start stringing together wins rather than losses against teams like the Mariners and A’s, Bostonians will be singing a different tune. It won’t matter to them that David Ortiz makes the money he does and participates in each game for only a matter of minutes each night or that Josh Beckett has no respect for the fans or the city and will do whatever the eff Josh Beckett wants to do because Theo Epstein handed him a ridiculous contract extension.

I would like to think that the division isn’t in play for the Red Sox, but I’m not stupid enough to say that, let alone in writing, and have it come back to bit me. But if the Red Sox can stay afloat they will be in play for that one-game playoff that we both love. And if they are in play for that will you change your feelings about the team and the new wild-card format?

Hurley: No. The new wild-card format is an atrocity of incredible proportions. It takes a 162-game season’s worth of effort and flushes it down the toilet in three hours. And you know what? If an underachieving team like the Red Sox sleepwalks through the whole season and ends up winning that one-game playoff against a team with five or six more wins, then my rage will only be tripled. That’s not what a 162-game season is for, and that’s not right.

But yeah, despite all the issues we’ve already talked about, the Sox remain a good weekend away from jumping into that wild-card spot (which is absurd). And they’re definitely good enough to do it, provided the starting pitching can become even halfway decent and Ellsbury can return at even 80 percent of what he was last year.

But the division? No way. I know Ken Rosenthal said if they get a starting pitcher and dump Kevin Youkilis and just “be patient” then they’d be able to win the division, but that’s really nuts. If it were just the Red Sox and Yankees that were competitive teams, maybe, but Tampa is there, and Baltimore and Toronto really aren’t bad. It’s going to be impossible for the Red Sox to leapfrog everyone, especially when they go 1-5 against Oakland.

And Dave Roberts is a saint. Watch your mouth.

Keefe: Let’s talk about what happened to Kevin Youkilis. If the Red Sox win one more game last September then they get to the one-game playoff against the Rays. If they win two more games they make the playoffs. If they do either of those things Terry Francona is still the manager and I think Kevin Youkilis is still the third baseman.

But like I once told you, the “if” game is for losers like Patriots fans who say, “If Wes Welker and Tom Brady connect then the Giants lose the Super Bowl” or “If Rob Gronkowski’s ankle is 100 percent then the Giants lose the Super Bowl.” We’ll keep the “ifs” for losers like Patriots fans. Thankfully neither of us are Patriots fans. (And there is my Giants Super Bowl reference that you say I always have to make in these emails.)

When Youkilis was removed for a pinch runner, Bobby Valentine stood in the dugout clapping and was motioning for the other guys on the team to join him on the top step. There was Adrian Gonzalez clapping for Youkilis as he gave his farewell to Fenway Park. One of the faces of the franchise and the change of culture to the Red Sox over the last eight years was leaving the game and the park and the team while the new faces of the team that has ruined everything Youkilis helped build watched him exit. I feel like a high school freshman English teacher getting all sappy about symbolism.

I understand playing time for Will Middlebrooks became a necessity and along with the finances of the situation it made sense for Youkilis to get moved, but the whole thing and the way it happened just has a stink to it. (Don’t get me wrong, I like the stink it has to it.) You knew that with a change of scenery the guy was going to perform again where he didn’t have to deal with Bobby Valentine’s BS and limited action. I have always hated Youkilis and still do, but I have always respected him and always wanted him on my team. I’m just glad the Red Sox decided differently.

Hurley: I thought the sendoff from the fans was an incredible moment. I’m as cold-hearted as it gets. Some people (believe it or not) even think I’m a real A-hole. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the emotion of that one. Even a cynical bastard like me couldn’t pick it apart, because really, Youkilis deserved that kind of thank you from the fans, and it’s very rare that athletes have the chance to get it like that.

But watching Bob Valentine grandstand on the top step like he was convincing his buddy to get out there and take a curtain call? Puke-inducing. Give me a break.

As far as the trade itself goes, they got next to nothing for him and had to pay most of his salary, which is what I expected. Teams knew the Sox were desperate to get rid of him, so they held all the leverage. It definitely won’t go in the Ben Cherington Hall of Fame, but he didn’t have too much to work with here. I do think Middlebrooks is ready to play every day (if his hammy heals) and I thought the Sox were playing with fire every single time they put Adrian Gonzalez in right field. He’s so slow, I’m pretty sure you could run faster than him on a Friday night at 2:30 a.m. And I’ve seen you on Friday nights at 2:30 a.m.

And frankly, I’m glad to see him do well with Chicago. He was a bit of a gruff person who didn’t always go out of his way to make himself seem like the nicest guy in the world, but he played the game hard and he (sorry, cliché time) played it the right way. He was the definition of a guy who never takes a second on the field for granted, and he was willing to play any position the manager asked. It’s too bad his Red Sox career ended unceremoniously, and it’s awful that Bob V gets to stick around while a World Series winner gets shipped to Chicago, but that’s how it works.

Keefe: Well, Youkilis did hit a walk-off single on Wednesday and then added a solo shot on Thursday that ended up being the game-winner. So at least you can say he was a homegrown player!

It wouldn’t be right if we didn’t dedicate one part of this email to the man known as Bobby Valentine (or Bob Valentine to you.)

He has a two-year deal. His team is currently tied for last place in the division. If the Yankees do what they are capable of doing this weekend at Fenway then the city of Boston will have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday with nothing to talk about other than what is wrong with the Red Sox and who should go and what needs to be done to fix the team. If Ray Allen re-signs with the Celtics and doesn’t do something crazy like sign with the Heat then they will really have nothing to talk about. (Unless Tim Thomas decides to join Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in the election process.) Not having CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte sucks, but not having them for this series to step on the Red Sox’ throat hurts even more.

So what are we to make of Bobby Valentine’s first semester as Red Sox manager? I want you to file it under “colossal failure” but I don’t think even you will do that since it’s not like he was given the ideal pieces to win. But this team with this payroll already got the most revered manager in the franchise’s history fired, so what’s stopping them from getting the ringleader of the circus booted?

Hurley: Bob V, as much as I’m not a fan, hasn’t been all that bad. He had a big adjustment period in April, when he was way too slow to pull guys out of games and seemed truly frightened to argue with umpires. Maybe in Japan you’re not allowed to argue, but here you’re technically not either, so I’m not sure he has an excuse. Either way, I thought he was awful in April and cost them a couple of wins.

Since then though, he’s kind of hit a groove. He played Middlebrooks, and that worked out in the form of 10 homers. He really worked the bullpen well, to the point where they were best in the league for a long stretch of the season, using guys like Scott Atchison and Matt Albers (in real life!). He hasn’t been afraid to “ride the hot hand,” and it’s worked out with people like Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who’s finally playing to his potential, and Daniel Nava, who was somehow playing like a real life major league outfielder for a while.

But like you said earlier with winning solving everything, losing can blow everything up. You can bet a last place finish will spell the premature end for Bob Valentine (for those not in the know, I refuse to refer to a man in his 60s as “Bobby”), and then we can have another four month-long managerial search to follow! Go Red Sox!

Keefe: Four games this weekend including a doubleheader on Saturday and pitching matchups of Hiroki Kuroda-Josh Beckett, Phil Hughes-Franklin Morales, Freddy Garcia-Felix Doubront and Ivan Nova-Jon Lester. I thought we might see some crazy lopsided matchups, but they actually ended up being about as good as can be without CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte. Still these two teams leave the over/under of hours of baseball played this weekend at 18 and the total runs at 44. I’m taking the over on both, you?

And as much as I would like to see the Yankees go into Boston and sweep the four-game series the way they did at the Stadium in August 2009 and similar to the five-game sweep at Fenway in 2006, the Yankees really just need to split this weekend to prevent the Red Sox from gaining any ground and from ripping four more games off the schedule.

Hopefully when I talk to you on Monday you are avoiding me because the Red Sox are double-digit games back and you will be counting down the days until the Patriots’ Week 1 game.

Hurley: I can guarantee that no matter what happens, no matter how many hours of baseball is played, no matter how many runs are scored and no matter which team wins the series, I will be avoiding you on Monday. Enjoy the weekend, pal.

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