Yankees – Page 225 – Keefe To The City

Jun 19, 2012

The Unsung Heroes of the Yankees’ Bullpen

The Yankees are getting big outs from unlikely arms, and their success has forced power rankings for the makeshift bullpen.

When I hear “Tuesday’s Gone” I think of Happy Gilmore. When I hear the word “magic” I think of Happy Gilmore shaking his caddy on the ground after clinching the Waterbury Open with Pilot’s “Magic ” playing in the background. With the way the Yankees’ bullpen has been performing, the only explanation is magic and because of it, I want to celebrate by shaking Joe Girardi while screaming, “Oh, ho, ho, it’s magic you knowwww! Never believe it’s not so!”

If you told me on the morning of Opening Day that on June 19 I would be writing about the Yankees bullpen currently featuring Rafael Soriano as the closer, Boone Logan and Cory Wade as setup men and Clay Rapada and Cody Eppley as middle relievers, well let’s just say I would be living in Europe and writing about Euro 2012. Luckily no one told me this was going to happen.

The Yankees are 41-25 and in first place in the AL East with the best record in the AL thanks to a 10-game winning streak, which this group of ragtag relievers (that’s the first and most likely the last time I have and will ever use “ragtag,” and you can thank Jack Edwards for putting that word into my vocabulary) has been a large part of. Sure, it’s easy to win games the way the Yankees did on Monday night when CC Sabathia pitched a complete game against the Braves (Side note: I forgot to start CC and R.A. Dickey, who pitched a one-hitter against the Orioles, on my fantasy team. Devastating.) But it’s not so easy to win games when Cody Eppley and Clay Rapada are being asked to serve as the middle relief bridge.

It’s crazy that right now I have confidence in everyone in the bullpen not named Freddy Garcia, but I don’t trust anyone in the bullpen not named David Robertson. And since David Robertson has become the must trustworthy Yankees reliever not named Mariano Rivera since 2007 Joba Chamberlain, I’m leaving him out of these power rankings that I have created to figure out the my personal bullpen pecking order. I’m also leaving out Rafael Soriano since he is now the closer and because he’s making $11 million this year, so he should be expected to get outs.

I have heard these ragtag (OK, there it is again) relievers called a lot of things over the last couple of weeks. Most of the things I have called them while yelling at games or shouting at my TV have been derogatory, but I have heard different forms of the word “hero” thrown around to describe this relief corps. Dwight Schrutte said, “A hero kills people, people that wish him harm. A hero is part human and part supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster, and must be avenged.” I don’t think that’s the type of hero that these guys are, so let’s go with “unsung” hero. And let’s go through the bullpen to figure out who should get the ball from top to bottom.

Number 48, Boone Logan, Number 48
I want to start this off by saying it’s effing scary that Boone Logan is the No. 1-ranked pitcher on any list I create. Oh yeah, Robertson and Soriano aren’t on this list. OK, I feel a little better.

If I make Boone Logan a mixtape that includes Chicago’s “Hard To Say I’m Sorry” do you think he will forgive me? Actually I don’t want him to forgive me. Because deep down I know that the Boone Logan I watched in 2010 and 2011 in key moments is just waiting for me to let my guard down before he ambushes me. He did it to me on Sept. 14, 2010 when I finally wrote an apology to him only to have him on that same day give up a go-ahead, three-run home run to Willy Aybar in Tampa Bay. So Boone, I’m manning up here to say I’m sorry. You don’t have to accept my apology or the mixtape, or the flowers or the fruit basket I am having sent to the Stadium on Tuesday night. Just go out there and keep putting up zeroes and that will be enough for me.

Number 53, Cory Wade, Number 53
Last Monday (June 11) was the one-year anniversary of the Rays releasing Cory Wade. I know what you’re thinking: Where was the party? Well, there wasn’t a party, but there should have been in either Cashman’s office or Girardi’s.

In 68 games and 67 2/3 innings with the Yankees, Wade has 60 strikeouts and 14 walks, a 2.39 ERA and a 1.020 WHIP. He has been prone to the home run (like he was on Saturday) with four allowed in 28 innings this year, but he’s gone from the scrap heap to the reliever “B” team to the reliever “A” team in a year. Thanks again, Tampa Bay!

Number 38, Cody Eppley, Number 38
In real life, Cody Eppley would have gotten sent down and David Phelps would have stayed with the Yankees. But this isn’t real life since Eppley is getting huge outs for the Yankees, and also because the Yankees needed Phelps to go back to the minors to get stretched out to be a starter again.

Eppley getting that double play on an 0-2 pitch last Wednesday against the Braves to preserve a 3-2 lead in the eighth inning with runners on first and third and one out is enough to buy him some time in my book in the even that he remembers he’s Cody Eppley and not Jeff Nelson. (Yes, I’m willing to forget that he gave up hits to two of three hitters he faced before the 6-4-3 double play.) How much time that double play will buy him has yet to be determined.

Number 39, Clay Rapada, Number 39
Clay Rapada has become my Pitching Whipping Boy for 2012 (Nick Swisher remains the Overall Whipping Boy) now that A.J. Burnett is pitching in Pittsburgh and Boone Logan has become (or rather been forced into being) a valuable part of the bullpen.

Entering this season, Rapada had appeared in 78 games with the Cubs, Tigers, Rangers and Orioles. He had a career 5.13 ERA in 52 2/3 innings with 32 walks. Everything about Rapada forced me into the lengthy “Nooooooooooooooo!” that Michael Scott used upon Toby’s return. I wanted the Yankees to have nothing to do with Rapada because I wanted to have nothing to do with him interfering with my baseball season and my summer. But because he throws a baseball using his left arm, (if you have watched Clay Rapada and you have a child and aren’t tying their right hand behind their back until they are 16 then you are doing whole parenting thing wrong) you just knew that Brian Cashman and Joe Girardi were going to find a spot for him on the roster.

Rapada has been goo… Rapada has been goo… He’s been… He’s been goo… OK, he’s been good. There, I said it. Are you happy now? He’s been better than I expected and lefties are just 7-for-46 (.152) against him. However, don’t let him fool you. He will blow up at some point in this season. Let’s just hope it isn’t in a big spot because it’s going to happen. I “Mark Messier guarantee” it’s going to happen.

Number 36, Freddy Garcia, Number 36
I hate to break it to the Freddy Garcia fans out there (if there any), but the 35-year-old righty no longer belongs on the Yankees. Sorry, Freddy and sorry to your fans.

Garcia came up huge in the 12th and 13th innings in Washington on Saturday to earn his first win since last September, but he owed that performance to Yankees fans. I still can’t get over the writers who cover the team tweeting about how Garcia is a “gamer” and sarcastically asking their followers if they still want Garcia off the team after his effort in extra innings? I guess they forgot about him giving up 19 earned runs in 13 2/3 innings in his four starts in April? Maybe they forgot that in those four starts he got pulled in the second inning twice (against Boston and Detroit) and the only reason the Yankees went 2-2 in his starts instead of 0-4 is because they came back against the Orioles on April 10 and erased a 9-1 deficit at Fenway Park on April 21? And how much of a “gamer” was Garcia when he lost Game 2 of the ALDS to the Tigers? Isn’t the postseason when a “gamer” shows up? (I understand what the Yankees got out of Garcia and Bartolo Colon last year was a replica of the lightning caught in a bottle with Aaron Small and Shawn Chacon in 2005, but let’s be serious.) So, to answer your question, yes, I still want Garcia off the team.

And I want Garcia gone because he doesn’t serve a purpose. He has become the long reliever/extra innings/mop-up duty man only because Rivera is out and Robertson has been hurt. Those are actually the roles for Eppley and Rapada, but their recent success and those same injuries have moved them into more important roles. The only thing Garcia presents out of the bullpen is a scary option for Joe Girardi to turn to when his other relievers need a rest.

The problem is there’s a good chance that Garcia will survive the season with the Yankees unless Eppley and Rapada keep getting the job done and Joba Chamberlain and David Aardsma can make healthy returns, and he will survive because he’s owed $4 million this year. If you don’t plan on eating a meal anytime soon, then think about this: Garcia will make $4 million this season and R.A. Dickey will only make $4.25 million.

Blogs • Yankees

Jun 11, 2012

Subway Series Diary, Part I

It was a beautiful weekend full of winning as the Yankees swept the Mets at the Stadium in the first part of the Subway Series.

Meet the Mets, Meets the Mets, Step right up and greet the Mets! Bring your kiddies, bring your wife; Guaranteed to have the time of your life! Because the Mets are really sockin’ the ball; knocking those home runs over the … OK, I’ll stop.

What a weekend that was. A Subway Series sweep (the first for the Yankees since 2009 and the first in the Bronx since 2003), as the Yankees keep pace with the Rays while the Mets season is following the blueprint of Mets seasons since 2007.

I feel weird calling this a diary since I have never had a diary before. I remember in elementary school when we were forced to have a “journal” in one of those black-and-white Mead notebooks (FYI: Brian Monzo still uses one of those notebooks to keep contact information for guests for WFAN and NHL Live. Hey Monzo, it’s 2012. There are electronic devices to keep this information on.) The word diary makes me feel like a junior high school girl writing in a pink book with a pink pen that has a feather attached to the top of it, but luckily I can’t store this under my pillow or mattress. I couldn’t use “Retro Recap” like I do for other things since this isn’t a play-by-play blow of what happened at the Stadium. It’s more of, well, a diary.

FRIDAY
I was in the Stadium for this one and I actually thought Hiroki Kuroda was going to pitch a no-hitter. I might need to rethink my “Coin Flip Kuroda” nickname for Hiroki since he hasn’t been much of a coin flip lately. In his last three starts, he’s allowed 12 hits and two earned runs in 22 innings. He has caught fire along with Phil Hughes and Ivan Nova, and if CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte can just do what’s expected of them, the wins are going to start mounting even more than they have over the last 16 games.

I have seen my fair share of one-hitters, but I have never seen a no-hitter in person, and the Mets’ swings against Kuroda were that bad that it looked like we might be watching something special happen in the second start in a row for Johan Santana, except for the good guys.

I’m not sure how many games I have been at for back-to-back-to-back home runs, but I remember the Sheffield-Rodriguez-Matsui back-to-back-to-back home runs in that 13-run eighth inning in the epic comeback against Tampa Bay on June 21, 2005. I was in Fenway Park for Chase Wright to allow back-to-back-to-back-to-back bombs to Manny Ramirez, J.D. Drew, Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek on April 22, 2007. And even though it wasn’t back-to-back-to-back or back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs, the three grand slams against the A’s at the Stadium on Aug. 25 last year were even better. My only wish on Friday night was that Raul Ibanez would have followed Andruw Jones’ blast for four straight to put a dent in the awful memory of Chase Wright’s night.

SATURDAY
Phil Hughes has to figure out this home run problem because it’s a problem. Hughes has now allowed at least one home run in all 12 of his starts this year (15 total), which projects out to 40 home runs if he makes 32 starts this season. Now the home runs he allowed on Saturday night were both solo shots and the Yankees were able to overcome them, but this can’t continue.

Do you remember the season when Jason Bay hit 36 home runs and 119 RBIs for the Red Sox and led the AL MVP conversation for a large part of the year? I’m not making it up. It really happened. I swear! How many times does a day does Bay think about what could have been had he accepted the Red Sox’ $60 million rather than the Mets’ $66 million? I’m going to set the over/under at 5.5 times per day. And while that $6 million does represent 10 percent more money, I don’t think what he has endured with the Mets has been worth it, and I think he would tell you the same thing. (Unless he likes his name being linked to the term “designated for assignment” and he likes sucking and losing, then maybe he will tell you it was worth the $6 million.)

Bay was a force in Boston. He hit 45 home runs and drove in 156 runs in 200 games with the Red Sox, he hit in the clutch and he produced instantly after being asked to fill the void left by Manny Ramirez. Bay peppered the Green Monster and killed the Yankees. I was sitting behind home plate at Fenway on April 24, 2009 when Bay hit a game-tying, two-run home run to dead center off Mariano Rivera. I feel like Bay in a Red Sox uniform on Saturday night, as the tying run at the plate in the ninth inning would have hit that first-pitch fastball from Rafael Soriano out. But in a Mets uniform, Bay just isn’t the same player. I’m glad 2009 Jason Bay no longer exists.

It’s hard to find people who enjoy the way Joe Buck and Tim McCarver call a game. I’m actually still searching to find one person. I don’t really enjoy their broadcasts, but Joe Buck’s voice does give any game a big-game feel to it whether or not you agree with the things he says or his lack of enthusiasm for major moments. Whenever you hear Buck’s voice it gives the game a playoff atmosphere and some extra juice. Tim McCarver, on the other hand, has become the Jason Bay of color commentating. McCarver calls people by the wrong names, and gives incorrect stats and facts all the time, which never surprises me. But even I couldn’t believe it when in the late innings on Saturday he said that he “thinks David Wright is a bigger threat than Andres Torres.” Really, Tim? Really? Well, in that case, I think high-definition TV is better than standard-definition TV.

SUNDAY
It was a big deal to me when the Yankees traded A.J. Burnett to the Pirates because I hated Burnett on the Yankees more than anyone. But I didn’t realize how much bigger of a deal it was going to be to not have him on the team than I do now. There wasn’t going to be enough room in my life for both Burnett and Nick Swisher to be on the Yankees, and there wasn’t going to be enough space for my anger (or tweets and the Internet has infinite space) had they both been on the team this season.

Nick Swisher can’t be serious, can he? Two on and no one out in the second inning, and he BUNTS against Jonathon Niese. Not only does he bunt, but he bunts into a force out at third base. Here are some questions I have about Swisher’s decision.

1. Why are you bunting in the second inning of a game you’re already trailing by three runs in?

2. The theory behind Swisher is that he doesn’t hit good/elite pitching, so why would he be giving himself up against Jonathon Niese who isn’t a front-end starter?

3. Nick Swisher isn’t good at playing fundamental baseball and he might have the lowest Baseball IQ in Major League Baseball. This isn’t the first time this has happened with Swisher. He once bunted, on his own, a runner from second over to third with one out already in the inning. So how has no one on the team told him to never bunt under any circumstance?

4. Andy Pettitte just gave up three runs. The Yankees follow that with a four-pitch walk from A-Rod and a single from Cano. Two on and no one out and Niese feeling the pressure of the Yankees’ lineup combined with trying to be the stopper of a losing streak and trying to prevent the sweep in front of a sold-out Yankee Stadium. Why would you let him off the hook and help him settle down and give away that first out? After Swisher’s bunt, Niese struck out Jones and Martin to end the inning. Why would you give away an out in that spot? Why?!?!

I have had it with Nick Swisher. Only a big hit in the postseason could change my feelings and opinion on him at this point, and we all know that’s not happening. And even though I like to have a good time with Michael Kay’s broadcasting techniques, I thoroughly enjoyed him taking subtle shots at Swisher about the bunt on Sunday.

Clay Rapada needs to stop pitching in high-leverage situations. Seriously, make it stop, Joe. Rapada is not good. It’s June 11 and he has made it over two months longer on this team than anyone originally thought. He has more walks (12) than (10) strikeouts in 16 1/3 innings, and I trust him less than I ever trusted Jose Veras. At what point do we decide that Rapada shouldn’t be pitching in high-leverage situations let alone be on the team? Or are we just waiting for him to implode and cost the Yankees in a big spot before we realize that he isn’t trustworthy? (How is there no better option than Rapada in the minors?) I know Sweeny Murti would tell me he is the 25^th man on the roster (or 24^th if you think Cody Eppley is the 25^th), but the 25^th man shouldn’t be trying to preserve a one-run lead in the late innings.

How awkward is the Joe Girardi-Terry Collins Dunkin’ Donuts commercial? I would feel more comfortable letting Rapada save a game against the Red Sox than I do watching that commercial. It makes the Joe Torre-Willie Randolph Subway commercial from a few years back seem normal. I hope Girardi enjoys that Dunkin Iced Caramel he’s sipping on.

I have gained a lot of confidence in Boone Logan. A year or two ago I wouldn’t have written that sentence if you had a gun to my head. Part of my confidence in Logan is because I don’t have a choice but to be confident in him. With Rivera and Robertson out, Logan (or Wade) has become the best reliever outside of Rafael Soriano. When you think about the Yankees’ RISP and bases-loaded issues coupled with the names that are running out of the bullpen in to hold leads, I would have thought they would be in the Red Sox’ position in the standings. (Let’s all take a second to laugh at the current state of the Red Sox.) But what is that line about not being able to predict something that some broadcasting duo always says?

What an amazing play by the fan in right field on Russell Martin’s two-run home run. Too many times do fans of the home crowd not give it their all to help their team, but the guy that made the catch from keeping the ball from going back on the field deserves some free tickets or some memorabilia or batting practice with the team on the next homestand. After seeing the replay, if that guy doesn’t make that catch they might only score one run, or worse, it could have been second and third with two outs.

There isn’t a Yankees fan that didn’t hear a Mets fan complain about Yankee Stadium being a “bandbox” and allowing “cheap home runs” over the weekend. Yankee Stadium was built for strikeout pitchers and power hitters and what do you know, the Yankees have created a team comprised of strikeout pitchers and power hitters? What an idea! What a concept! How come no one ever complains about the Green Monster or the Pesky Pole, or about Camden Yards, or about the height of the fences in the corners in Anaheim or the short fence in left field at Tropicana Field? I guess no one complains about those fields because at Yankee Stadium the hated dimensions are only present when the Yankees are hitting…

With all the talk over the weekend about how to “fix” the Subway Series (I don’t think it needs to be fixed), you’re certainly not going to get any Mets fans that want the Series to keep the same format. When you have to play six games against the Yankees every year, it’s probably not good for your postseason chances (if the Mets really do have postseason chances). But on the flip side I enjoy the Series because it’s six games against the Mets, and that means wins, and I like wins, and wins get you to the postseason, so to me, the current format is perfect. I also like the Subway Series because I love what it’s about and I love creating more of a rivalry between the city’s two teams.

A sweep always feels good, but it feels even better when it comes against the Mets, and because of it I want to thank the Good Lord for making me a Yankee fan.

Blogs • Yankees

Jun 8, 2012

Subway Series Storylines, Part I

It’s the first part of the Subway Series 2012 and that means interesting storylines for both the Yankees and Mets this weekend at the Stadium.

A meaningful Subway Series! It’s been a few years since we have had one of these. It’s June 8 and the Yankees are sitting at 31-25 and the Mets at 32-26. I just checked my calendar, and no, it’s not 2006.

This weekend we’ll get to see No-han Santana against Coin Flip Kuroda (who will get to return to his NL roots and hopefully dominate like he did there), the Battle of Potential between Dillon Gee and Phil Hughes on Saturday night (Joe Buck and Tim McCarver can’t be happy with that pitching matchup) and the Young Lefty vs. Old Lefty matchup of Jonathon Niese and Andy Pettitte on Sunday afternoon.

I love the Subway Series and because of it here are the storylines that interest me this weekend at the Stadium.

No Initials This Weekend
We won’t get to see CC or R.A. this weekend, but with the way the two are going, it’s probably better for the Yankees that they are missing the Mets’ initials rather than the Mets missing the Yankees’ initials.

As a Yankees fan and non-Mets fan, it’s hard to find Mets to like, but I love R.A. Dickey. The guy is a strike-throwing machine (to steal a line from John Sterling) and the kind of guy that you want on your team, and he has become one of my annual fantasy baseball favorite draft picks.

It seems like everyone is always waiting for the 37-year-old knuckleballer to return to being his former self before his reinvention, but I think he has proven this isn’t the kind of smoke-and-mirrors act that Freddy Garcia used for the Yankees last year. Dickey is the real deal and he’s proving it every time out with his scoreless innings streak now at 24 2/3 innings. Dickey made $2.25 million last year and will make $4.25 million this year with the Mets holding a $5 million club option on him for 2013. He is the best bargain in Major League Baseball, and he’s only making $250,000 more than Garcia this year. I will now give you a minute to think about that.

(…thinking…)

After another eight scoreless innings against the Nationals on Thursday, Dickey is now 9-1 with a 2.44 ERA. In two-plus seasons and 72 games (70 starts) with the Mets, he’s 28-23 with a 2.97. 28 wins with a 2.97 ERA! Could you imagine what his record would be if he had pitched the last two seasons for a winning team? Last season alone Dickey made eight starts in which he pitched seven innings or more and allowed two earned runs or less and earned a no-decision or a loss.

I’m happy the Yankees missed Dickey by a day (they weren’t lucky enough to also miss Santana) since it seems like the Yankees always get the other team’s best pitchers to fall every series whether it’s Felix Hernandez or Justin Verlander or Jered Weaver. But part of me wanted to see what Dickey could do against the Yankees in what is turning out be his best season.

No-han Santana’s Left Shoulder
I was out to eat last Friday night (Katy Perry), but the restaurant had the Yankees on the big screen, so I was able to watch the Yankees-Tigers game. I found out via Twitter that Johan was throwing a no-hitter in the eighth inning and started paying attention to the Mets game just as Santana got the last out of the eighth.

My Twitter feed was debating whether or not Terry Collins would let Santana return for the ninth inning and go for Mets history or whether he would turn to the bullpen as a precaution for his ace’s surgically repaired left shoulder. Here were my initial thoughts.

1. Forget Jason Bay or Oliver Perez. If Collins pulls Santana he will become the most hated man for Mets fans. Santana and the Mets might not ever be in this spot again. It took them 50-plus seasons to achieve a no-hitter. Who’s to say it won’t take another 50?

2. I understand Collins is managing for his job and a contract past this season. I know he believes that the Mets can reach the playoffs, and maybe they can, but if you believe getting three more outs from your ace in an historical setting could lead to injury and ruin your playoff chances then you probably aren’t going to the playoffs. How could you starve a fan base searching for some sort of moment or success to be proud about given everything that has happened with the franchise over an extra 12-15 pitches?

Collins made the right choice, however, in his postgame press conference he admitted that he thought he made the wrong decision. (Is this real life?)

Santana will pitch on Friday night at the Stadium for the first time in a week since the no-hitter and the 134 pitches. Johan hasn’t pitched well in two starts in the new Stadium (0-2, 9 IP, 17 H, 13 R, 13 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 2 HR, 13.00 ERA), but if he struggles on Friday, Terry Collins will have to answer for the previous Friday even if he’s healthy.

Subway Series Protestors
I should have spent this time writing about why the Subway Series sucks now and why the players don’t care about facing each other and why it’s not the same as it used to be since that seems to be the cool thing to do these days. But I love the Subway Series, and I think its current format is perfect. So why ruin a good thing?

I don’t get why people don’t like the Subway Series or why they would rather see more division games over interleague play. Do I really need to see the Blue Jays and Orioles more? Have I not had enough of Brian Matusz and Kyle Drabek? Can’t I see Johan Santana and Stephen Strasburg and Johnny Cueto? I would understand if you’re Chien-Ming Wang and you hate interleague play, but for so many people to despise it just doesn’t make sense.

The only problem I have with interleague play is that it’s 2012 and the NL is still having pitchers hit. It’s not the “pure form baseball.” It’s nonsensical to have guys who haven’t used a bat since high school facing Major League pitching. But hey, what are a few extra outs to give up anyway?

The King of the City
Yankees fans have nothing to gain (other than wins for their team which is the most important possible thing and being able to laugh at the Mets fans, which I guess is a lot) and everything to lose in the Subway Series. If the Yankees win or sweep the weekend series then they are supposed to because they’re the Yankees. But if the Mets win or sweep the weekend series then I might have to go off the grid until the second part of the Subway Series at Citi Field. Winning and losing each part of the Subway Series has two extreme possibilities for Yankees fans, and I like it that way. I like that the Yankees are the King of the City and will always be.

Blogs • Yankees

Jun 5, 2012

A Sunday with John and Suzyn

It’s always entertaining to listen to John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman broadcast a Yankees game. But it’s even better when that game is the final game of an 11-day, nine-game road trip.

Last June with the Brewers at the Stadium for a three-game series, which the Yankees would sweep, I decided to listen to John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman while I wrote down my thoughts from their broadcast. I have wanted to do it again since, but wasn’t sure when the time would be right. With the debut of this site and the Yankees wrapping up an 11-day, nine-game road trip, and figuring John and Suzyn would be at their “best,” Sunday seemed like the perfect time to do it again.

Here’s what transpired on Sunday afternoon at Comerica Park…

TOP 1ST
If there’s ever a “You can’t predict baseball” matchup for John and Suzyn, this is it. Justin Verlander, the reigning AL MVP and Cy Young winner against Phil Hughes, the reigning The Only Reason We Still Believe He Is A Starter Is Because We Picked Him In The First Round Eight Years Ago winner. I have already sarcastically tweeted that I’m excited for this Phil Hughes start in my attempt at flipping this around Leon Black style from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

The last time I did this there wasn’t a single “You can’t predict baseball” reference. That would be like Phil Hughes making a start without giving up a home run. It just doesn’t happen. And if it happens again today it would be monumental. There’s no way you can pick two random games to listen to an entire broadcast from John and Suzyn and get a “You can’t predict baseball” no-no in back-to-back games nearly a year apart. It’s impossible.

I said it already, but I think it’s important to say again that is the last game of an 11-day, nine-game road trip for the Yankees and it’s a day game and a getaway day game following a devastating walk-off loss from about 14 hours ago. In other words, this has all of the makings of a recipe for disaster. Did I mention that it’s Phil Hughes against Justin Verlander?

Suzyn: “And as the Captain, Derek Jeter, steps up to the plate, stepping up to the microphone is the voice of the New York Yankees … here is John Sterling.”

John: “Well, Suzyn, I thank you.”

And before John can even give Verlander’s numbers…

John: “Swung on and hit in the air to right field and deep … back goes Boesch on the track at the wall … SHE’S GONE! Oh, what a beginning! The captain homers the opposite way to right field on Verlander’s first pitch! The first-ball fastball he hit over the right field stands. El Capitan! He homers and the Yankees take a 1-0 lead! And Suzyn does that ever underscore about how you can’t predict baseball?”

Suzyn: “You cannot predict baseball!”

Well, that takes care of me worrying about not hearing “You can’t predict baseball.”

Justin Verlander might be the best pitcher on the planet, but he doesn’t really scare me as much as rookie lefties do against the Yankees or any pitcher making his Major League debut. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true, and I bet I’m not the only one that thinks this way. The Yankees have now scored in the first inning in each of their last five games against Verlander and six of the last seven if you include the ALDS. If they can find a way to win today they will be 2-0 against Verlander this year. Give me Verlander over the 21-year-old lefty that looks like he’s 15 making his Major League debut on Sunday Night Baseball in Yankee Stadium any day of the week.

Curtis Granderson walks on four pitches and after the count goes to 1-2 on A-Rod and John gets into some more about predicting baseball…

“It’s funny … you can talk baseball … you can have the experts … you can have predictions … analyze it … I’d like to know the person who felt that Jeter would homer on the first pitch off Verlander.”

A-Rod walks, and the Yankees have first and second and no one out.

“Here’s Cano and the pitch is … in the dirt … it gets away from Santos! Well, runners at second and third and now if the Yankees make the right kind of outs they can actually take a 3-0 lead. I know he’s a tough pitcher … he’s the toughest!”

John gives a recap of what’s happened and then Suzyn corrects his previous call.

Suzyn: “And he just gave him a passed ball on that because that ball did not hit the dirt. That ball was bounced off of Santos’ glove … he’s not a great catcher.

John: “No…”

Wild pitch? Passed ball? In the dirt? Off a glove? Ah, who cares?

The inning ends with the Yankees leading 2-0. Hughes blew a 3-0 lead in the bottom of the first inning in his last start, so I’m setting the over/under at 1.5 innings until the Tigers tie the game or take the lead, and once this happens, how badly will John and Suzyn cover for him? Then again, the Yankees lead 2-0 against Justin Verlander and I have already heard the word “predict” several times and we haven’t even played a full inning. Can it possibly get any better than this? Should I just turn the game off now?

BOTTOM 1ST
Four Sundays ago I did a retro recap of Hughes’ start against the Royals for WFAN.com in an attempt to find out if Hughes belongs in the rotation and to find out just what Phil Hughes is since he’s now in his sixth season in the majors, and no one really knows if he should be part of the rotation or the bullpen. Hughes pitched his first quality start of the year in that game and then went on a little run for a few weeks before the Angels embarrassed him in front of his family and friends last week. I hope I can have the same impact on the game I did four Sundays ago.

John introduces Phil Hughes and his numbers by saying Hughes “has pitched much better of late.” What? Is this real life? This is Hughes’ 11th start of the year. He has three quality starts so far, and in his last outing against the Angels he gave away a 3-0 lead in the first inning and allowed 11 hits and seven earned runs in 5 1/3 innings. But hey, he’s been much better of late!

Hughes retires Quintin Berry and Danny Worth.

“There are two away … here is Mag … I was going to say Magglio Ordonez. Here is Miguel Cabrera!”

I guess it’s hard to get on John for trying to activate Magglio Ordonez and hit him third in the Tigers lineup since he is at the park today and since Miguel and Magglio both begin with the letter “M.”

Cabrera walks and a passed ball allows him to move to second with two outs.

John: “Now first base is open, so you can pitch carefully to Fielder.”

I’m not sure that’s the best advice, John. This is Phil Hughes pitching, not CC Sabathia. I don’t think we want to be giving free passes in the first inning with the dangerous Yankee killer Delmon Young on deck. But Hughes has been “much better of late,” so what do I know?

Hughes retires Fielder to end the inning.

TOP 2ND
Nick Swisher singles to lead off the second inning bringing up Eric Chavez.

John: “Verlander deals… swung on and popped in the air to left … going back is Kelly … on the track … leaps … and he’s made another catch! Last night he robbed Teixeira of a homer … this time I’d say he robbed Chavez of a double! That ball went a lot further than I ever thought!”

I’ll say it went a lot further than being “popped in the air to left.”

It does feel like I’m using a cheat sheet by watching the game muted on YES while listening to John and Suzyn just to see how good of a job they are doing. (I’m sure Michael Kay wasn’t exactly all over that Chavez out either.) On a side note: Don Kelly reminds me of David Murphy.

The replay shows the ball clearly would have bounced and hit the wall, but that doesn’t stop Suzyn from saying, “I think that would have been a home run” despite her seeing the replay.

Russell Martin walks as the fifth Yankee to reach in the first two innings and Suzyn adds, “I cannot picture a game when I have seen Justin Verlander like this.” Since I’m giving out doppelgangers (I feel like Michael Kay talking about Paul Byrd as Kelsey Grammer and Jeff Niemann as Jeff Daniels) well Justin Verlander has always reminded me of Jason Lee. Stillwater, anyone? “Fever Dog!”

BOTTOM 2ND
Suzyn is giving her first scoreboard of the day, so I decided to go back to the last time I did this to see what I said about Suzyn and her scoreboards.

Suzyn is giving her first scoreboard update of the day. The best part of the scoreboard updates is that John clearly hates them. He hates that his broadcast gets hijacked momentarily and hates that he has to interrupt Suzyn to give the play-by-play. It breaks up his flow and his rhythm and I kind of agree. And maybe the scoreboards can be taken out of the broadcast? I know it would be like taking away someone’s lines in a play in that Suzyn’s airtime would be cut down significantly, but it’s 2011. I don’t think anyone is waiting for Suzyn’s scoreboard updates to find out scores from around the league.

Change “2011” to “2012” and I could have just reused that whole thing.

Phil Hughes has terrible body language when he throws a ball. It’s so noticeable and I can’t think of anyone acting that way after they miss their spot, and it looks ridiculous. A two-out hit against Hughes prevents us from seeing our first 1-2-3 inning of the game.

John: “Hey, there’s no question about Hughes’ arm. He began the season terribly and he has pitched much better in the last few weeks.”

Why does John feel the need to always build Hughes’ confidence and self-esteem? He can’t hear you, John! And there are a lot of questions about Hughes’ arm, mainly because of the way he has pitched this season. Was I the only one that watched Hughes pitch in Anaheim last Monday?

TOP 3RD
The Yankees take a 2-0 lead into the third and the first pitch to Granderson is a ball.

John: “He really can’t throw strike one … and this is Justin Verlander we’re talking about! It’s a funny game.”

The scoreboard screen has stopped working at Comerica Park and this can only mean chaos for John and Suzyn.

John: “We can’t give you a pitch count. That pitch count has stopped. We’ll find out later for you.”

Suzyn: “It said 39.”

John: “No, no … it started at 39.”

Suzyn: “Oh!”

John: “The pitch to A-Rod is low and the count is 2-0.”

Suzyn: “OK, 39 and it was 3 and 2 … and he struck him out…”

John: “Right, so that’s…”

Suzyn: “So that’s 45 … and two … 47…”

John: “The pitch is a strike. Also the scoreboard has stopped. I gotta find a different place for the count.”

Suzyn: “I guess you’re going to have to look at the monitor here.”

And then on the 3-1 pitch to A-Rod…

John: “And the pitch is swung on and lined to deep left … that ball is HIGH … it is FAR … IT IS GONE! Over the inner fence and over the original fence! Way up in the crowd … what a shot! An A-Bomb from A-Rod, and the Yankees take a 3-0 lead! And Suzyn you could hear the crack of the bat from up here … you can’t hit a ball a lot further except if you’re Miguel Cabrera.”

Suzyn: “No. That was the ninth homer of the year for Alex and … you knew for it … and Verlander knew as soon as he hit it also. You could see Don Kelly take a couple of steps to his left and Berry turn around, but that ball was gone from the second he it.”

Cano and Teixeira are retired, but the Yankees lead 3-0.

BOTTOM 3RD
John: “Our fervent wishes that the board would come back. It makes it somewhat tough.”

With one out, Berry lays down a bunt and is thrown out by Chavez in what might be the most accurate Sterling call in 15 years. He honestly couldn’t have done a better job on the play.

“The pitch … Berry bunts toward third … fielded by Chavez … throws … IN TIME for the out.”

Worth walks with two outs preventing the first 1-2-3 inning of the game and it brings up Miguel Cabrera or “CabrerA” as Sterling likes to say. Hughes gets him to fly out to right and it’s still 3-0 Yankees after three.

TOP 4TH
John: “You know one thing Suzyn, you gave the stat before … when they don’t hit a home run, the Yankees are 0-12. Well, they’ve hit two homers today.”

Suzyn “Right.”

John: “Hahahaha. We’ll see if that holds up.”

And…

John: “You know I think what bothers the Yankees and their followers … here is Verlander’s pitch … swung on and hit in the air to right … Boesch is back … in front of the track … and he makes the catch and there’s one away. I think what bothers, Suzyn, the Yankees and their followers and the broadcasters … look at this lineup against a righty when you have Ibanez, Swisher and Chavez … 6, 7 and 8 and the Yankees never hit or don’t hit much with the bases loaded or with men on base.”

Raul Ibanez flies out to lead off the inning.

John: “Hey, the scoreboard’s back.”

Suzyn: “Yes, it is.”

Swisher walks and Verlander is at 63 pitches with 33 balls and he has just 10 outs.

Chavez singles, but Russell Martin lines into a double play to Cabrera, and John reminds us, “That’s baseball though.”

BOTTOM 4TH
Hughes’ first pitch to Prince Fielder is a curveball that finds Fielder’s perfect stroke and then goes about as far as any home run at Comerica Park has gone to right field, and Fielder knows it as he slams down his bat and watches his work.

Suzyn: “Boy was there no doubt about that.”

Young grounds out and here’s Suzyn with the scoreboard update just in case you wanted to know that Nationals-Braves score.

Hughes bounces back to retire the next three after Fielder’s leadoff home run and keep the Yankees’ lead at 3-1.

John: “One run, one hit … the Fielder home run, which went so far it should count for two … at the end of four … 4-1 Yanks on the New York Yankees radio network driven by Jeep.”

TOP 5TH
More first-pitch balls from Verlander in the fifth…

John: “Of all things Verlander can’t throw strike 1 and he is a strike throwing machine.”

Granderson doubles with one out before A-Rod strikes out swinging. Cano comes up with Granderson on second and two outs, and on 3-2 pitch…

John: “Now Verlander deals … swung on and a high fly to right-center … Boesch … and Berry … and … that ball is … IN THE GAP! It falls in the gap! Granderson scores … here is Cano going to third … and the throw is … not in time! It gets by … but backed up by … now the ball went into the dugout and Cano is allowed to go home! So first of all, the long fly to right-center split Berry and Boesch and landed … and went to the wall. It was an easy triple for Cano … it’s 430 feet out there. The throw got by, so we’ll find out who the error is on. Two runs score. Give Cano an RBI .. and the Yankees now take a 5-1 lead.”

Teixeira grounds out, but I’m still in awe over the call on the Cano triple. Granted, I had the chance to see it on TV as it was happening and it was a little weird that Berry didn’t get to it, but nevertheless, that was an epic piece of broadcasting.

BOTTOM 5TH
I think it’s funny that Sterling says “error” the way you’re supposed you say “era.”

It’s time for the Daily News 5th and Roger Rubin joins the booth in place of Mark Feinsand.

Hughes walks Don Kelly to lead off the fifth inning. Kelly is currently in a 6-for-46 slump, so walking him to lead off an inning with a four-run lead is always a good idea.

John and Suzyn start asking Roger questions about the Yankees offense…

Roger: “You know it’s funny before the game a bunch of us were talking to Kevin Long about the team’s problems scoring with runners in scoring position and Derek [Jeter] was walking by and he was almost making fun of it. You know, ‘What’s wrong with us, Kevin? Tell us!'”

Suzyn: “Well, it would actually be nice if they figured out what’s wrong with them.”

Roger: “It would be. At one point Kevin say to Derek as he was walking back by a second time, ‘Derek, are we ever gonna score again?’ and Derek was like, ‘I don’t think so.’ Well, he took care of that one right there.”

John: “But, however, if people ask that question, they have a right to ask it because the percentages are so bad … men in scoring position and bases loaded.”

See this is what I love about John and Suzyn: they are Yankees fans and they don’t hide it. They want the Yankees to win the way the fans do and when the team plays poorly they want answers. The mood of the broadcast changes depending on the score of the game and the Yankees’ recent play, and if the Yankees are in the middle of a three-game losing streak you feel like you’re watching the game with your buddies complaining about the team. They don’t follow the game the way beat writers and reporters do, and they shouldn’t since they are the voices of the team on the radio and have to watch them for 162 games plus the playoffs. John and Suzyn should want and expect success from the team and they should be noticeably upset when they don’t get it. This is the Yankees radio network and not a national broadcast.

Santos hits into a double play that is turned by Jeter and Cano leading John to ask, “Have you ever see anyone cooler than Robbie Cano?”

Berry goes down looking and Hughes continues to look good (though I’m scared to type that since things can unravel quickly for the Phranchise).

TOP 6TH
John always reminds us that he owes a station break as if it’s a contest and he owes the listeners another chance to win. Now he might just be talking to the producer to let him know he’s aware that he stills need to do a 10-second station ID, but it always sounds like we let John borrow a station break and he has yet to return it.

Chavez singles on a soft fly ball to left, but that’s all the Yankees manage in the sixth.

BOTTOM 6TH
Suzyn tries to get her scoreboard updates in, but Hughes strikes out Worth and Cabrera swinging and Fielder grounds out for a perfect inning from Hughes.

If the first time I did something like this for Hughes led him to go on a mini run, and this game ends up being one in which he outpitches Verlander, does that mean I will have to do this for every Hughes start for the rest of the season? If it produces wins, I don’t have a problem with it.

TOP 7TH
John: “The 1-1 is lined toward right-center, and there’s a base hit! Jeterian? Haha! You bet! Inside-out swing and he lines it to right-center field.”

John talks about the tight AL East, and as bad as the Yankees have been they can head to the Stadium on Tuesday for a three-game series with Tampa Bay and trail in the division by just one game if they hold on today.

But John reminds us that, “Willie Stargell used to say, ‘The pennant race begins September 1.’” So, I guess the first five months of the season didn’t count back then either?

BOTTOM 7TH
A quiet frame from John and Suzyn as Hughes allows a two-out single to Jhonny Peralta before getting Kelly to pop out to end the inning. This has been Hughes’ best start of the season and with the chance to either finish at 6-3 on the road trip with a win, or 5-4 with a loss following Saturday night’ debacle, Hughes has done his job, which is rare.

TOP 8TH
Ibanez, Swisher and Chavez go down in order and I’m beginning to get the sense that John and Suzyn just want the last couple of innings of the last game of an 11-day road trip to go quickly. This road trip started back on the Yankees’ off day on May 24. That feels like forever ago.

TOP 9TH
John and Suzyn are talking about the players drafted ahead of Derek Jeter in 1992, which leads to a discussion about other great players passed over early in the draft, and the name of the player the Mets took first overall before Reggie Jackson in the 1966 draft has eluded them. John knows the player’s name was “Steve,” but can’t remember his last name. Keith Olbermann texts Suzyn to tell her it was Steve Chilcott.

Suzyn: “What a wonderful invention … texting.”

John: “Ha! I love E-ZPass and DVR myself.”

Suzyn: “Hahahaha! Well, the person that invented DVR and E-ZPass should be in some Hall of Fame.”

John: “Hahaha right! … Absolutely!”

Suzyn: “Somewhere…”

John then goes on to say that the Cross Bronx Expressway belongs in the Hall of Shame. I can’t disagree with him there.

After Martin’s leadoff double, Jeter, Granderson and A-Rod go down in order and John gets excited: “The Yankees are three outs away from a big win.”

BOTTOM 9TH
Phil Hughes is three outs away from his first complete game ever, unless you really want to count the rain-shortened six-inning complete game he threw.

He strikes out Cabrera to start the ninth and gets Fielder to ground out before Young singles. With Young on first and Hughes facing his last batter in Boesch, a fan runs on the field.

John: “And now someone runs on the field … no one pursues him … and he’s running out toward right field … and Swisher gives him a little high five … and now he runs to center field … now people start coming out on the field to get him … and now he runs toward the infield … brilliant … and finally he is apprehended and taken down. You know at first you think it’s funny and people laugh, etcetera, well, how do you know the guy isn’t crazy? How do you know he doesn’t have a weapon or a knife or something? So, the gentleman is handcuffed and led off … two outs, a runner at first and now Girardi trots out to make sure Hughes is OK.”

“And once again it’ll be a 2-2 to Boesch … Hughes is set at the chest … and the pitch … struck him out swinging! Ballgame over! Yankees win! Theeeeeeee Yankees win!”

The game ends in two hours and 39 minutes. Phil Hughes beat Justin Verlander, threw his first nine-inning complete game in the process and kept Miguel Cabrera in the park. The Yankees scored five runs against Verlander and A-Rod hit his second home run in three games. John and Suzyn talked about not being able to predict baseball after the first pitch of the game, and I got to hear John do play-by-play of a fan running on the field while trying to evade security. And on top of it all, the Yankees won the game and the series and finished their 11-day, nine-game road trip at 6-3. Forget Johan Santana’s no-hitter. This was a perfect game.

Blogs • Email Exchanges • Yankees

Apr 20, 2012

Yankees Arrive in Boston with Things Going Badly for Bobby Valentine

With the rivalry resuming for the first time in 2012 there was only one thing to do, and that’s an email exchange with Mike Hurley to find out just how bad things are in Boston with the Yankees arriving for the weekend.

The Yankees have had inconsistent pitching and hitting to begin the season, and when you mix in some of Joe Girardi’s questionable lineup choices and managerial decisions, well you get a 7-6 record. But up north, Bostonians would trade their situation for a couple of games of Eduardo Nunez in the middle of the infield and a few too many pitching changes if it meant relieving them of the Bobby Valentine show.

With the rivalry resuming for the first time in 2012 there was only one thing to do, and that’s an email exchange with Mike Hurley of CBS Boston to find out just how bad things are in Boston with the Yankees arriving for the weekend.

Keefe: So, we meet again (via our email inboxes). The last time we talked was back at the beginning of March when we both shared our mutual disrespect and dislike for Bobby Valentine. I think it was the first time we agreed on anything since that time you finally admitted to me that Eli Manning is a better quarterback than Tom Brady.

When the Red Sox announced the hiring of Bobby Valentine, I had visions of the 2012 Red Sox being the September 2011 Red Sox on HGH, but you never really think things are going to go out of hand the way you hope. I imagined clubhouse chemistry issues and verbal abuse between the manager and his players in the media. I daydreamed about Ben Cherington and Valentine getting into a shouting match and then throwing haymakers at each other as they rolled around the ground like you see in the WorldStarHipHop fight videos, and most importantly I hoped for a lack of success on the field and losses mounting in the standings. My prayers, wishes and dreams have come true.

Bobby Valentine has been a disaster through 12 games as Red Sox manager. His team is 4-8 and he’s made questionable managerial decisions along with calling out his third baseman and one of the two players left from the 2004 World Series team (even if Kevin Youkilis was as much a part of that team as you were). He has been booed at Fenway Park and laughed at on TV, on the radio and in print. And now on Friday, he will see the Yankees for the first time as the manager of the Red Sox, but before the game starts, the organization will honor the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park by bringing back important figures in the team’s history. This includes Terry Francona.

There’s no doubt that the ovation for Francona will be the loudest thing at Fenway since Curt Schilling, Derek Lowe and Tim Wakefield walked from the dugout to the bullpen to Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” for extra innings of Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS. And after Francona gets showered with cheers, applause, a standing ovation and “We want Terry” chants, there will be a baseball game to be played between two rivals, which will only magnify the job of Bobby Valentine. (The more I write about this, the bigger the smile on my face gets.)

The only thing that can help Bobby Valentine win over Boston is winning. No one cares about his personality or his postgame quotes or his baseball “geniuses.” People care about winning and so far he hasn’t shown anyone that he is capable of this through 12 games.

Will Bobby Valentine ever be loved in Boston? And how awkward is the scene on Friday at Fenway going to be with every Red Sox fan in attendance (and at home around New England) wishing Francona would put in a chew, put on a Red Sox hat and manage the game while Bobby V sits there and gives a half-hearted clap for the ex-manager?

Hurley: Hey. Neil. Good to see you.

We most certainly agreed that Bob Valentine (the man is 60, can we drop the “Bobby” baloney?) was a bad idea for Boston. He’s been out of the majors for a decade and he proved on a weekly basis last year on ESPN that he doesn’t follow baseball enough to be considered someone with expertise in the subject. Yet there he is, hired to run the team with the third-highest payroll, in a city with psychotic fans who were already mad as hell from the events of last September. The odds are staked against him to succeed here.

But like you said, winning would cure a lot of that. Unfortunately for Bob, four wins in 12 games isn’t quite going to cut it.

Sure, you could point to the suspect roster given to him ($173 million just doesn’t seem to go as far as it used to these days), but you have to look at his in-game management thus far. I believe he himself has lost two out of the last three games. He let Daniel Bard, a reliever making his second big league start, stay in the game after four straight balls to Carlos Pena. Guess what he did next?! He threw four straight balls to Evan Longoria to walk in a run. The Red Sox lost 1-0.

Then on Wednesday, I saw a scene I’ve never before witnessed. I saw a reliever come into a 3-2 game and load the bases. The manager left him in the game, and he hit Craig Gentry in the foot. Craig Gentry is not a very good baseball player, and Morales couldn’t even get him out. But Valentine left him in! And Franklin Morales … served up a bomb to Mike Napoli. Because Valentine may have been sleeping in the dugout, a 3-2 deficit jumped to a 6-2 hole in a matter of minutes. It was truly some of the worst managing I’ve ever seen at this level.

As for Francona, he’ll get the reception and thanks he deserves and earned over his eight years in Boston, and that’s a good thing. I don’t think Valentine will feel too awkward though. I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s the man, no matter what.

Keefe: Over the weekend the Red Sox dominated the Rays in the first three games of the series, and had a three-game winning streak going and it looked like they were going to get back on track the way they did at the beginning of last year. Then Bob V went and opened his mouth and called out Youkilis for no real reason. Sure, Youkilis hasn’t been good this year, but who is Bob V, who has been in Boston for nine games at the time to go and call out Youkilis? And then to make matters worse, when called out about his callout, Bob V decides to cover up his comments with a terrible excuse saying that he was only answering a question, and was in fact sticking up for Youkilis and trying to “smooth” something over. What that something is, I’m not sure, but can I offer you some crazy pills?

Dustin Pedroia responded with some jabs at Bob basically saying that he has been around for nine games and this isn’t Japan a subtle shot that I enjoyed that made fun of Bob’s time managing in Japan while no team in Major League Baseball valued or wanted his services. So after winning three games, Bob V turned the clubhouse on him and the fans who will always back the players.

What I don’t get is why Bob V is everywhere. He’s on every sports media format and outlet up and down the coast. He’s everywhere! And since he is everywhere and always accessible to the media he says a lot of ridiculous and stupid things and then gets testy when people call him on it. But I guess I will just keep enjoying the ride and the circus as the Red Sox are 0-3 since his timely ripping of Youkilis.

Hurley: Pedroia’s response was just so fantastic. I can’t say enough about it. “Maybe in Japan or something, but over here, the U.S., we’re on a three-game winning streak.” The guy is just the best.

And Bob V’s backtracking was just disgraceful. He said he was just answering a question, as if that gave him free reign to question a player’s physical abilities and mental focus. And worst of all, he said his initial comments on Youkilis were just him “trying to smooth it over.” I don’t know exactly which world Valentine lives in, but it sounds like a nice place.

Keefe: Good old Bob Valentine. I’m glad there’s something that brings us together, and I’m glad that something is the leader of the sports team I hate most.

When I heard that Andrew Bailey was going to be out for months and that the Red Sox would go to an Alfredo Aceves-Mark Melancon tandem to try to finish off games, I sprinted down 6th Avenue and rolled around like Theo Fleury after his game-winner in the ’91 playoffs. Aceves?! Melancon?! Has anyone making decisions in Boston seen them pitch? I know that Aceves is a jack-of-all-trades that served as Ramiro Mendoza Part II in the Yankees’ World Series run in 2009, but his stuff isn’t exactly end-of-the-game stuff. (Yankees fans found this out in extra innings in Game 3 of the 2009 ALCS.) As for Melancon, he was traded to the Astros for the Ghost of Lance Berkman in 2010 (a year before Berkman saw a picture of himself and realized he was a slob and decided to recommit himself to the game and then won the World Series with the Cardinals) and he had success in the NL Central for a team that won 56 games and finished 40, yes 40 games back in the division. So there wasn’t a whole lot of something called “pressure” or “high-leverage situations” for Melancon.

Now to your credit, you were against the bullpen decisions when made, and rightfully so after we watched the Tigers rip the duo apart and then the Rangers went ahead and punched Melancon’s ticket to Pawtucket on Tuesday night with a reenactment of the 1999 Home Run Derby at Fenway. There’s a good chance the Red Sox are going to need big outs from some combination of Aceves and Vicente Padilla and Matt Albers and Scott Atchinson and Franklin Morales and Justin Thomas (?) and yes even the legendary Junichi Tazawa this weekend against the Yankees. (Typing those names was like playing through a blackjack heater while increasing my bets.) Is this the worst bullpen in Major League Baseball?

Hurley: I think you’re being a little unfair to Mark Melancon. The guy’s ERA is only 49.50. It could be much worse. Who cares that he’s only retired six of the 18 batters he’s faced this year for a 6.00 WHIP? What if his ERA was 64.50 and he had only retired six out of 25 batters? That would be worse, wouldn’t it?

I don’t dislike Aceves as a closer. He doesn’t have electric stuff, per se, but he works fast, throws hard and pitches to weak contact. I anticipate he’ll be 85 percent as effective as Jonathan Papelbon was, so all things considered, he’s not that bad.

The rest of the bullpen, however, is. I refer to Scott Atchison as “Everyone’s Uncle Scott,” because he could sit down at everyone’s family dinner and just look like someone’s uncle instead of a professional athlete, or just “A Guy,” because he just looks like any guy. That guy, who was DFA’d in January, has pitched four times already. That tells you all you need to know about the state of the Red Sox bullpen.

(I’m pretty sure they just made up a person named “Justin Thomas” when the season started, kind of like a David Webb-Jason Bourne situation. They found a carpenter or something in Fort Myers and asked if he was free to travel to Detroit. “Son, you’re a major league reliever now.” He’s also pitched four times and has a 7.36 ERA.)

I can’t say with any degree of certainty right now that it’s the worst bullpen in the majors, but I can see it’s the absolute worst among teams that actually spend money to build rosters. That’s for certain.

Keefe: I thought things were bad, but I think you just made me realize they’re much worse. I don’t even think we’re going to have to talk about the Yankees at all in this email exchange because there’s just so many great qualities about the Red Sox right now that we might be able to save Mark Teixeira’s “bad luck” and Joe Girardi’s over-managing for another day.

Let’s make our way to the Red Sox rotation where Jon Lester pitched well twice and then got rocked, Josh Beckett might be turning back the clock to 2010 (or hopefully 2006), Clay Buchholz has been OK and Felix Doubront and Daniel Bard have been alright in their first two starts as part of a rotation full-time for the first time. We could actually make the case I think that Doubront has been the Red Sox’ best pitcher to this point, but he might not hold the belt for too long because I have an Avicii-like feeling that the slumping middle of the Yankees order is going to come alive against him this weekend.

Starting pitching is the one area where I can’t really talk so much since CC Sabathia has been his usual April self, Hiroki Kuroda has been A.J. Burnett-esque, Phil Hughes has been pitcher he has been since the second half of 2010, Freddy Garcia is close to retiring to a beach home in Florida and playing golf and fishing everyday and that leaves Ivan Nova who is 2-0 and has been the best starter. Meanwhile Bartolo Colon is 3-1 for the A’s, making just $2 million and shut out the Angels for eight innings on Wednesday by throwing 38 consecutive strikes at one point. Who would have thought I would be longing for the return of Bartolo Colon to the Bronx?

At least the Yankees have Michael Pineda and Andy Pettitte on their way to stabilize this shaky rotation though we can’t say the same for your team. But I guess you shouldn’t worry too much about your rotation since Daisuke Matsuzaka, who was referred to as the best No. 5 starter in the history of baseball last year by a Boston outlet could return this season. Did the sweet sounds of “Sweet Caroline” just get a little sweeter for you?

Hurley: GOOD TIMES NEVER SEEMED SO GOOD!

Let me just tell you that I spent Tuesday and Wednesday nights at Fenway this week. It was 16-2 in the middle of the eighth on Tuesday, and there were only about 4,000 people left in Fenway Park. I’d estimate that 3,000 of them stayed just to sing that godforsaken song and then leave. Do these people have iTunes? Or a CD player? Go home and listen to Neil Diamond. You don’t have to pay $80 for a ticket and another $80 on Bud Light to sing the damn song.

Sorry about that. But you brought it up.

I love Freddy Garcia for being totally pissed about Andy Pettitte’s return, as if one good season out of nowhere earned Garcia a rotation spot over a five-time World Series legend.

As far as the Red Sox rotation goes, I think it’s far too early to say anything too positive or negative about anyone. Bard has been a pleasant surprise, I’d say, and Doubront’s start hasn’t been entirely surprising. I think he’s capable of putting together a few good starts, but by the end of the year, he’ll probably have just as many stinkers.

Beckett and Lester will be fine, and the glorious return of Daisuke could actually be a boost. Saying that with a straight face, though, tells you how suspect the situation is to begin with.

I don’t really remember what question you asked or if you even asked one, so I hope that works for you. I’m going to go listen to Neil Diamond on repeat. BUM BUM BAHHH!!!

Keefe: “Where it began? I can’t begin to knowin’ but then I know it’s growing strong.”

I didn’t really ask a question. I just sort of said that the Red Sox aren’t very good and you just confirmed it.

I’m glad you have finally come around on what Fenway Park has become. I know you probably already felt the way you currently do about Fenway, but I think this is the first time it’s been said publicly or documented and I’m glad to be a part of it.

Freddy Garcia is a weird case. He did pitch well for the Yankees last season, but against the league’s best teams he struggled and then he failed in his postseason start in Game 2 of the ALDS, which was supposed to be Game 3. Now this year he has gotten lit up by the Orioles thanks to five wild pitches, but got bailed out by the Yankees offense before getting beat up by the Twins. So after two awful performances against two of the worst offenses in the league, I’m expecting a disaster at Fenway on Saturday, and I’m relieved to have a wedding to attend, so that I don’t have to see Garcia give CPR to the Red Sox’ season. Actually the wedding is at 2 p.m. and gets over at 10 p.m., so when you factor in the game starting at 4 p.m. and being a FOX game, I should be home in time for the third inning.

Is there any doubt that the Yankees are going to revive the Red Sox this weekend? I don’t think there should be. Last season when the teams met the Red Sox were 0-6, but they beat up on Phil Hughes on a Friday afternoon and then Josh Beckett dominated on Sunday Night Baseball. In 2010, the Red Sox opened the season with a win over the Yankees thanks to Joe Girardi’s decision to have Chan Ho Park pitch in the seventh inning to Dustin Pedroia. And who could forget when the Red Sox started the year 8-0 against the Yankees winning in just about every way possible to win a baseball game? At 4-8, I fully expect the Red Sox to find themselves this weekend despite not having either Lester or Beckett scheduled to pitch.

This brings up another point: Is possibly moving Lester up to pitch on Sunday night since he only threw 80 pitches on Tuesday against the Rangers a panic move by Valentine?

“Was in the spring, and spring became the summer, who’d have believed you’d come along?”

Hurley: SWEEETTT CAARRROOOLLLIIINNEEE!!

Maybe we haven’t discussed it publicly before, but Fenway’s been that way for a while now. Part of it is that it just comes from winning, but the other part is that going to Fenway and being a part of that whole “scene” has become a phenomenon. There was a woman in a row in front of me on Wednesday night who spent the entire game playing Draw Something on her phone. Her seat cost $94. And she probably bragged to everyone the following day that she went to the game. I can’t explain it, and as someone who just loves watching baseball, it’s devastating to witness. There are plenty of good fans left, but it’s just become more difficult for them to get into the park to actually see baseball.

I don’t think moving Lester up to Sunday would be necessarily a panic move. For one, you always want your ace going against the Yankees, but you also have special circumstances surrounding it. Bard was stretched a little too long on Monday (thanks to Bob V.), and Lester barely made it to 8 p.m. on Tuesday, so you’ve got a slightly overworked Bard in his first year as a starter and a greatly underworked Lester. It’s something that just sort of makes sense, so I wouldn’t look at it as a panic move.

You might see a close series this weekend, like you say, but I fear you’re not fully understanding the state of the Red Sox’ lineup without Jacoby Ellsbury. Cody Ross batted cleanup on Wednesday. Jason Repko has made two starts this week. Nick Punto was used as a pinch hitter. Darnell McDonald is hitting .083. Jarrod Saltalamacchia is hitting .080. Even Kevin Youkilis is hitting .184.

The short version of that is that there’s no reason to believe the Yankees won’t win two out of three this weekend at least. But hey, at least we’re both heading in with opposite expectations. It’s nice that we not agree about everything.