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Joe Judge Is a Joke

I wanted to like Joe Judge. I really did. But after two miserable seasons, he deserves to be fired.

I wanted to like Joe Judge. I really did.

After the Giants announced the hiring of Judge, I wrote No Confidence Giants Ownership Hired Right Head Coach in Joe Judge. In it, I wrote:

I don’t have any confidence the Giants got this hire right given every personnel, roster, draft and trade decision they have made over the last seven years. But I want them to be right. I want to have a Giants season last past September. I need them to be right.

But after his introductory press conference, I followed it up by writing Joe Judge Just Might Be What Giants Need. Judge looked and sounded like the exact type of coach any fan would want to lead their team, saying everything you want the head coach of the team you root for to say. Judge could have sold me a home in a flood zone in desperate need of a new roof, septic system and furnace at three times the asking price and I would have bought it with the way he talked that day. Looking back, he essentially did sell me that.

“What I’m about is an old-school physical mentality,” Judge said at his introductory press conference. “We’re going to put a product on the field that the people of this city and region are going to be proud of because this team will represent this area.”

That statement was enough to make me a believer. To look past his lack of head coaching experience at any level. To forget that the decision makers who hired Judge were the same people who unnecessarily fired Tom Coughlin, hired Ben McAdoo, hired Dave Gettleman, hired Pat Shurmur and retained Gettleman for four seasons.

I have always been saddened that Kyle Chandler’s character Eric Taylor in Friday Night Lights isn’t an actual person and football coach, but at his introductory press conference, Judge appeared to be giving me the closest thing to making Coach Taylor come to life. Now a week shy of two years I wish Kyle Chandler were coaching the Giants. I wish anyone other than McAdoo or Shurmur were coaching the Giants.

I couldn’t have been more wrong about Judge. I should have stayed with my initial reaction to his hiring that Giants ownership couldn’t be trusted to get a head coach hiring right, considering Gettleman and his opposite Midas touch effect would be involved in the decision. After 32 games and a 10-22 record, Judge has been an extension of the McAdoo and Shurmur Giants, and with his weekly happy-go-lucky postgame press conferences following the dismantling of his team each Sunday, he’s quickly rising the power rankings of everything that been wrong with the organization for the last decade.

Judge’s most recent unintentional comedic postgame press conference helped him make an impressive jump up those rankings. On a day in which the Giants scored three points, lost by 26 points to a team whose coach is actually going to lose his job next week, turned the ball over four times and threw for an unfathomable negative-10 passing yards, the lowest point of the day for the Giants came after the team’s 12th loss of the season.

When asked why Giants fans should have faith in him as head coach, Judge went off on a tangent for more than 11 minutes reminiscent of Billy Madison’s comparison of The Puppy Who Lost His Way to the Industrial Revolution. In no way did Judge come close to answering the question.

He instead misremembered history, created his own history, spoke in general vagueness, told flat-out lies, curated fictional stories and even swore a couple of times. He said, “This ain’t some clown show organization” in describing a franchise that gone 61-99 over the last 10 seasons with one playoff appearance (a 25-point loss). He tried to use the recent sideline fight between Washington teammates as to why his Giants are in a good place and said the lack of golf bags present in the team’s locker room means the organization is headed in the right direction. The climax of his answer though came when he said impending free agents on the team come into his office “begging to come back’ and that former Giants making more money elsewhere call him multiple times a week to tell him they wish they were still Giants.

The entire rant was cringeworthy, and unfortunately for Judge, will likely follow him forever. It’s unlikely he will ever shed those 11 regrettable minutes since the only way to do that would be to become a successful NFL head coach and eventually lead a team to a championship. The Giants are as far away from being a championship team as they have ever been and Judge is as close to losing his job as he has ever been. And if he were to lose his job, it’s hard to envision another team taking a chance on him.

But Judge doesn’t view the 11-plus minutes heard around the world from Sunday as regrettable. A day after adding a new chapter to the embarrassing last decade of Giants football, Judge claimed he had no regrets about anything he said.

“Look, I was asked a specific question about what fans were asking and I responded to it,” Judge said. “People ask me a direct question, I give direct answers.”

Again, Judge was asked why fans should have faith in him. His answer was more than 11 minutes long and at no point did he answer the question. If you were going to illustrate how to not directly answer a question, Judge’s answer to the question he was asked on Sunday would be the golden example.

After having a day to sift through the bullshit Judge spewed in their presence in Chicago, the inevitable follow-up question to his claim that former Giants who “make more money” than they did or would with the Giants call him to tell him they miss playing for him was asked. Judge declined to specify names (because there aren’t any names).

“I know this is a place that players want to play,” Judge said. “It’s a place that a lot of players are going to want to play for a long time.”

Do players want to play for the Giants? Sure, if the money’s right. Sure, if they have no other offers. But if all things are equal and the Giants are going up against any other team in the league for a coveted free agent, what kind of idiot would choose to play for this team, with this roster, under this coach, front office and ownership?

“There are obviously some things that we have to do better,” Judge said after claiming the Giants, at 4-12, are a well-coached team. “I’m not going to sit here and hide behind anything. I’m not going to sit here and say we’re perfect or anything.”

If you were to listen to the 22 postgame press conferences given by Judge after Giants losses, you would think the Giants were on a 32-game winning streak under him. Nothing is ever bad, everything is part of the process and he and his team should only be measured on immeasurable metrics like culture and personal relationships and kindness.

“Obviously, the most important thing in this league is winning,” Judge said. “So we have to do a better job putting ourselves in a position to finalize and put ourselves in position to win.”

This was the first time as Giants head coach Judge has acknowledged that wins and losses are the determining factor of success in sports. So I’m relieved to know that he knows that the goal of the game is outscore the opponent and his job is to make sure his team outscores their opponent in the majority of their games.

But in a typical Judge-ian way, his answer leads you to believe he doesn’t fully understand or comprehend just how awful he has been at his job if wins are the “most important thing.” The second part of his answer would lead you to believe the Giants’ 12 losses in 16 games have been the product of bad breaks or late-game defeats. Nine of the Giants’ 12 losses have been by double digits. Outside of their Week 2 loss in Washington and Week 3 loss at home in Atlanta when they gave away those games, and their still-hard-to-understand three-point loss in Kansas City, the Giants have been run out of every building they have played in, including their own twice. Over the last five games without Daniel Jones, they are 0-5, having been outscored 141-49, losing on average by 18 points. It’s not like the Giants were a postseason team or even a respectable team with Jones either, as they were 4-7 with the “franchise” quarterback playing, and are 12-25 with him as a starter in three seasons.

Everything about the Giants is depressing. The roster is a perfect blend of overpaid, underachieving, oft-injured and untalented players. The general manager is a week away from being removed from a job he should have been removed from at least two years ago. And the head coach who was hired despite his inexperience has done nothing other than show his inexperience at every opportunity for two seasons.

Gettleman will be gone a week from now, and someone else will have the responsibility of trying to not screw up the Giants’ coveted situation of having two Top 8-ish picks in the 2022 draft. With Judge supposedly safe from the same fate as Gettleman, it means the team’s new general manager will have Judge forced on him the way Jones and Jason Garrett were forced on Judge. This likely means the new general manager will be a name promoted from within since no coveted outside candidate would sign up to be an ingredient in this recipe for disaster. The never-ending cycle created when Jerry Reese was retained and Coughlin wasn’t, which continued when Reese was fired and Gettleman was brought back will continue once again for the 2022 season. The Giants need to hit the reset button yet again, and that means giving the new general manager his choice at head coach and his choice at quarterback.

The Giants were losers under McAdoo. They were losers under Shurmur. They have been losers under Judge as he has failed on his promise to put a team on the field “the people of this city and region can be proud of.” And for that, he has earned the same fate (even if he won’t receive it) as his two predecessors: two seasons and done.

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Giants Fans’ Super Bowl LV Dilemma

Someone will win Super Bowl LIV, but it won’t be the Giants. Here’s the list of playoff teams in order of who I want to see win the Super Bowl to who I don’t want to see win the Super Bowl.

Someone will win Super Bowl LV, but it won’t be the Giants. Unfortunately, this blog is becoming an annual thing because of the Giants’ inability to reach the postseason.

Here’s the list of playoff teams in order of who I want to see win the Super Bowl to who I don’t want to see win the Super Bowl.

1. Bills
If you don’t have a horse in this season’s race, or if your horse drops out of the race, how can you not root for the Bills? The removal of Tom Brady from the AFC East allowed the Bills to finally reclaim the division with a 13-3 record, and were a completed Kyler Murray Hail Mary away from being 14-2. I was heartbroken for Bills fans after they fell to the Texans last year, and I truly hope I don’t have to feel that way for them again in January … or February.

2. Washington
I’m not mad at the Eagles for me having to write this blog again this season. They didn’t prevent the Giants from reaching the postseason, the Giants did that all on their own. The Eagles just did everything they could to not help them, like Jim Halpert avoiding a falling Michael Scott as he went into the koi pond in The Office. Washington has a solid defense and a formidable front four, and that’s a recipe for disaster for Brady as he have learned in all of his other postseason defeats. Washington’s chances come down to what their offense can do, and if it’s anything like it was in Philadelphia in Week 17, their postseason will last one game.

3. Tampa Bay
A year ago, I would have been disgusted at the thought of Brady winning a seventh Super Bowl. But now, he’s a Buccaneer, and the Giants were eliminated and won’t be hosting the Buccaneers this Saturday, so why not bring some joy to this postseason and have Brady win a championship in his first season on a new team, causing chaos in New England?

4. Bears
The Bears have about as good of a chance as winning the Super Bowl as the Giants do, so even having them on this list is unnecessary.

5. Titans
A year ago, after upsetting the Patriots and outsmarting Bill Belichick with his fourth-quarter rundown of the clock, I was all in on Mike Vrabel. But now after watching his defense fall apart, and his offense at times forgetting they have Derrick Henry, the Titans have been a mess this season. Yes, an 11-win mess. Their regular-season finale against the Texans summed up this Titans team as they nearly lost a game in which they led by 16 points with 4:29 left in the third quarter and led by three points with 1:50 left in the game. The Titans have cost me a good amount of money this season, but they’re still a better option to win than most other teams.

6. Chiefs
Let’s be honest, the Chiefs are winning the Super Bowl. It would take a monumental upset for them to not win the Super Bowl. It wouldn’t bother me if Patrick Mahomes were to eventually put an end to the Peyton Manning-Brady debate of who the greatest quarterback of all time is if he keeps on his current trajectory. Winning a second Super Bowl at age 25 and a second in as many years would go a long way in him eventually winning the debate.

7. Colts
I never want Eli Manning to lose his title as the best quarterback from the 2004 draft class (which he undoubtedly is or was). That means Philip Rivers never winning a Super Bowl.

8. Browns
A Browns Super Bowl would give the Giants hope since the Giants have become what the Browns used to be in recent seasons. A Browns Super Bowl would also mean the team went on to win a championship without Odell Beckham. Beckham’s lone playoff game to date remans the game he and Sterling Shepard combined to lose for the Giants with their first-quarter drops five years ago. Beckham would be the Browns’ Jeremy Shockey.

9. Saints
The Saints avenged their non-pass interference call against the Rams two years ago by losing to Kirk Cousins and the Vikings a year ago. The Saints aren’t what they were over the last two years, but they’re still capable of winning the NFC and the Super Bowl. I just don’t want them to.

10. Ravens
Two postseasons ago, I bet on the Ravens to beat the Chargers. I still have no idea how John Harbaugh sat there and let a winnable postseason game fade away as Joe Flacco stood on the sideline while Lamar Jackson couldn’t register a first down. I also have no idea Jackson went from the quarterback in that game to league MVP in a single year. But I’m still not over that loss.

11. Steelers
I can’t stand the Steelers. A fraudulent team during the Patriots’ dynasty, the Steelers’ December home loss to Washington when they were still undefeated is more to blame for Washington winning the NFC East than the Eagles throwing the Week 17 game. (But yes, it’s still really the Giants’ own fault their season is over.)

12. Packers
If the Miracle at MetLife didn’t happen and the Giants didn’t blow a 21-point lead to the Eagles with eight minutes to play now more than 10 years ago, Aaron Rodgers is this generation’s Dan Marino. That Giants collapse allowed the Packers to reach the playoffs and eventually reach the Super Bowl. Without that Giants loss, the Rodgers Packers would have endured the following postseason defeats:

51-45 overtime loss at Arizona
37-20 loss at home to Giants after going 15-1 in regular season
45-31 loss at San Francisco
23-20 loss at home to San Francisco
28-22 overtime loss at Seattle after blowing 12-point lead with 3:52 left
26-20 overtime loss at Arizona
44-21 loss at Atlanta
37-20 loss at San Francisco

One Super Bowl appearance and win (which shouldn’t have happened) for Rodgers is too much for me.

13. Rams
After the Rams’ performance in Super Bowl LIII when they scored three points despite the Patriots trying to give the game away in the first quarter, it will be a long time, if ever, that I root for the Rams.

14. Seahawks
I will never get over what Pete Carroll did in Super Bowl XLIX. Never. I will also never root for him unless I absolutely have to, but since the Eagles, Cowboys, Patriots and Jets aren’t in the postseason, there’s no potential matchup where I would have to root for him and his team.

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NFL Week 2 Picks

This week has been wild, so the picks are going to be short and sweet, which doesn’t leave much for me to congratulate myself on a 8-7-1 start to the season.

This week has been wild, so the picks are going to be short and sweet, which doesn’t leave much for me to congratulate myself on an 8-7-1 start to the season. Week 2 is the hardest week of the entire season because everything you thought you knew about the league’s 32 teams was likely changed in Week 1 and now you only have one week of information to base your opinions and picks on.

(Home team in caps)

CLEVELAND -6 over Cincinnati
If the Browns can blow out the Bengals at home on a short week then it’s going to be another long season for them.

NEW YORK GIANTS +5 over Chicago
Can the Giants avoid 0-2 for the fourth straight season and the seventh time in the last nine? I doubt it. But I think they can keep the game close enough to possibly pull of an upset.

San Francisco -7 over NEW YORK JETS
There will be a time this season when the line gets so high that I will have to pick the Jets to cover. We aren’t there yet.

Atlanta +5.5 over DALLAS
We might see a 7-9 team could out of the NFC East this season. The Giants, Eagles and Cowboys all lost in Week 1 with only the Redskins winning. The Giants and Washington Football Team will likely lose in Week 2, the Eagles could lose and the Cowboys could as well. The Giants could be 0-2 and be a 1/2 game out of first. Go Falcons!

MINNESOTA +3.5 over Indianapolis
Kirk Cousins is so unbelievably bad that he has to be the most overpaid athlete relative to performance. The Vikings’ window might have already close, but I’m willing to give them another week for me to find that out.

TAMPA BAY -8 over Carolina
I would like to know how many times Tom Brady has lost back-to-back games. I could look it up, but I know it’s a low number. It might be even once. It’s not happening here.

Rams +1.5 over PHILADELPHIA
The Eagles blew a 17-0 lead to Washington and cost me a four-team parlay. I still hadn’t learned that you can’t trust the Eagles, but now I know.

Buffalo -6.5 over MIAMI
The Bills’ defense is enough for me to possibly not pick against them all season.

GREEN BAY -6.5 over Detroit
The Lions blew yet another game under Matt Patricia and the Packers continued where they left off last season after going to the NFC Championship Game. Per usual, I have a hard time believing in the Lions.

PITTSBURGH -6.5 over Denver
The Broncos aren’t good. That’s all.

TENNESSEE -7.5 over Jacksonville
I really like the Titans. I would like them more if Ryan Tannehill weren’t their quarterback, but Mike Vrabel (my favorite head coach in the league) has turned him into an actual quarterback and an actual threat. The Titans’ defense against Gardner Minshew seems almost too easy.

Arizona -7 over WASHINGTON
I like this Cardinals team and I like them even more after their upset win on the road over the 49ers. As for Washington, they cost me a monetary win last week, but they hand the Eagles an all-important divisional loss if the Giants are ever able to compete for a postseason berth this season.

Kansas City -8.5 over LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
There will never be a day when I pick Tyrod Taylor to cover a spread against Patrick Mahomes. The Chiefs could be -28 and I would take them and would be fine with losing the pick if they didn’t cover.

Baltimore -6.5 over HOUSTON
I won’t be picking the Texans to cover against any even somewhat decent team this season. Against a Super Bowl contender? Nope.

New England +4 over SEATTLE
It’s so weird to see Cam Newton in a Patriots uniform and not see Brady as their quarterback. It will never not be weird. It’s also weird to see the Patriots as much as four-point underdogs.

New Orleans -5.5 over LAS VEGAS
I hate picking Saints games. I either pick them to cover and they screw me, or I go against them and they screw me. After last week’s win I don’t have a choice.

Last week: 8-7-1

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My Super Bowl LIV Dilemma

In what is becoming a recurring theme, the Giants aren’t going to win the Super Bowl this year since they once again didn’t reach the playoffs. Now I need to figure out which teams to root for this postseason.

Someone will win Super Bowl LIV, but it won’t be the Giants. Unfortunately, this blog is becoming an annual thing because of the Giants’ inability to reach the postseason.

Here’s the list of playoff teams in order of who I want to see win the Super Bowl to who I don’t want to see win the Super Bowl.

1. Vikings
Do I want Kirk Cousins to be a champion? No. But I do want my wife to be happy and since her Dodgers aren’t going to win the World Series anytime soon now that the Yankees have the best rotation and bullpen in baseball, she should at least have her football team win a championship. Unfortunately, the Vikings’ inability to win within their division cost them the NFC North title and a home playoff game, and they will open the postseason in New Orleans in the Superdome, which has once again become the worst place for any opposing team to play. Sorry, Brittni, but your NFL postseason is going to last one week.

2. Titans
The Titans only getting five points in a playoff game in New England is ridiculous. This isn’t Patrick Mahomes or Lamar Jackson playing outside in the cold in January. It’s Ryan Tannehill. I don’t care about what he’s done this season in taking over the starting job from Marcus Mariota or him finally realizing his potential as a former franchise quarterback. Hey, I want nothing more than for the Titans to upset the Patriots and knock them out of the playoffs as quickly as possible, but I’m a realist, and it’s going to take an actual miracle for that to happen.

3. Bills
I think the Bills can win this weekend in Houston. But then they will have to win at either Baltimore or Kansas City and then most likely at whichever of those two teams they don’t play in the divisional round. The Bills are a nice story, and easy to root for, but trying to win three road games just to get to the Super Bowl is way too much to ask of this Bills team.

4. Texans
The Texans aren’t going to win the Super Bowl. To me, it’s the Texans and the Bills who have the lowest odds of winning a championship, even if the Vikings have the hardest first-round matchup. If the Texans beat the Bills, they’re most likely going to have to go to Kansas City, and if they were to win there, they would win then most likely have to win at either Baltimore or New England. That’s not happening.

5. Chiefs
If the Chiefs win the Super Bowl, it means the Patriots didn’t.

6. Ravens
Last postseason, I bet on the Ravens to beat the Chargers. I still have no idea how John Harbaugh sat there and let a winnable postseason game fade away as Joe Flacco stood on the sideline while Lamar Jackson couldn’t register a first down. I also have no idea Jackson went from the quarterback in that game to the one who is now the league MVP. But as has always been the case with the Ravens, unless they are playing the Patriots, I don’t want to see them win.

7. Packers
Until the Patriots are eliminated, I need NFC teams in the playoffs that can beat them should they reach the Super Bowl. The Packers needed a time-expiring field goal to beat the David Blough Lions with a first-round bye on the line in Week 17, and needed a time-expiring field goal to beat the Lions in their first game of the season. I don’t care what the Packers’ record is, if the Patriots do their usual playoff thing, I can’t have the Packers as the last line of defense to prevent another Patriots championship.

8. Saints
Last season, in this blog, I wrote this about the Saints:

I will be rooting for the Saints on Super Bowl Sunday when they play the Patriots in Atlanta. I don’t want to root for Drew Brees to win another championship after he single-handedly depleted my bank account over the last few weeks, but I’m going to have to. The Superdome Saints aren’t going to lose in the NFC playoffs and then it’s off to Atlanta, another dome for the Saints to hopefully prevent the Patriots from winning another championship.

After blowing an early 13-0 lead in the NFC Championship Game, the Saints got screwed over on the non-pass interference call which changed league rules and then lost in overtime on a Drew Brees interception. The Saints’ loss cost me a two-team parlay with the Patriots that day and the Saints’ loss gave the Patriots a sixth Super Bowl win after getting to play the inferior Rams. The only reason the Saints aren’t lower on this list is because there are much worse options to win the Super Bowl.

9. 49ers
When the Falcons blew a 28-3 third-quarter lead to the Patriots in Super Bowl LI, it was 49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan calling the playoffs that led to turnovers and three-and-outs as the Falcons completely abandoned the run. Had the Falcons just run the ball for no gain and then punted on fourth down with the 25-point lead, they would have won the game. Shanahan deserves to never experience a Super Bowl win as a head coach after that.

10. Seahawks
I will never get over what Pete Carroll did in Super Bowl XLIX. Never. I will also never root for him unless I absolutely have to because of it. And the only way I will have to is if there’s a Super Bowl XLIX rematch.

11. Eagles
I never thought I would root for the Eagles, let alone with a Super Bowl on the line, but playing the Patriots will do that. But one championship is enough for the Eagles and their fans. There’s only way I’m rooting for the Eagles, and it’s if there’s a Super Bowl LII rematch.

12. Patriots
My hatred for the Patriots forced me to root for the Giants’ No. 1 rival in the Eagles in the Super Bowl. If I’m willing to root for the Eagles to win a championship, I’m willing to root for anyone other than the Patriots to win the Super Bowl.

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NFL Week 13 Picks

Since deciding to only root for the Giants to lose this season, the season has become much more enjoyable. There’s no getting upset or frustrated because there’s no expectation to win, just lose, and the

Since deciding to only root for the Giants to lose this season, the season has become much more enjoyable. There’s no getting upset or frustrated because there’s no expectation to win, just lose, and the Giants are as good at losing as any team in the league. Now with seven straight losses, the Giants currently hold the No. 3 pick in the 2020 draft. It’s about as good of a scenario as you can ask for for your team to be in when you know they aren’t going to the playoffs anyway and when they stopped playing meaningful games six weeks ago.

(Home team in caps)

Chicago -3.5 over DETROIT
The Bears did everything they could to lose to the Giants and they still won. That’s how bad these Giants are. The networks keep including the Bears in the “In the Hunt” graphic when displaying the current playoff picture, but they couldn’t be less in the hunt at three games out with five games to play. They might be able to pick up a game this week with a win over the Lions, who have lost seven of eight, and the Vikings in Seattle, but picking up another two over the last month is going to be nearly impossible. The Bears are finished. Now they have to figure out who is going to play quarterback for them in 2020.

DALLAS -6.5 over Buffalo
The Cowboys had a chance to upset the Patriots in Week 12 and take a 1 1/2-game lead in the NFC East. Instead, they lost because they’re the Cowboys and the Patriots are the Patriots and now they are more than likely going to lose the NFC East given their schedule and the Eagles’ schedule. If the Giants have to suck, the next-best thing is the Cowboys sucking, and they do. They will get their Thanksgiving win, but then the downward spiral will begin.

ATLANTA -7 over New Orleans
Last week, the Saints blew a two-touchdown lead to the Panthers and needed a missed chip shot to have a chance to win the game in the final seconds. Two weeks before that, they were blown out by a one-win Falcons team in the Superdome. The Saints are trending in the wrong direction like they were at this time last season. The Falcons might be awful and battling for draft position, but I’m sure they would also like to take away New Orleans’ first-round bye as one last hurrah before the entire Falcons’ coaching staff is fired.

BALTIMORE -6 over San Francisco
I normally like to pick against the team that has to make the cross-country flight, but I don’t like to give six points in a game between two of the league’s top teams. In this game, I have to given how much the 49ers rely on their defense for offensive support and how little the Ravens’ offense cares about the opposing defense.

CAROLINA -10 over Washington
Had the Panthers moved away from Cam Newton prior to the start of the season, they would still be in the playoff picture and battling for a wild-card berth. Instead, they will have to settle for a .500-ish season and experience and growth for their young quarterback.

New York Jets -3.5 over CINCINNATI
The Bengals have a two-game lead on the No. 1 pick with five weeks to go. It would be a major upset if they were to pick anywhere other than first this spring and the only way that upset could happen is if they were to win a few games. The Jets, on the other hand, are in the middle of putting together an unnecessary winning streak which will only give their fans the idea that they can somehow win out and sneak into the playoffs at the No. 6 seed. All the Jets are doing is moving themselves down in the draft yet again. Mediocrity at its finest.

INDIANAPOLIS -2.5 over Tennessee
The Texans will lose to the Patriots this week and that will be their fifth loss. The Colts and Titans both have five losses, so whichever teams win this game will be tied record-wise with the Texans for the division lead with four games to play.

JACKSONVILLE -1 over Tampa Bay
Two 4-7 teams playing a meaningless game. Give me the home team and the better defense. The much better defense.

Philadelphia -9 over MIAMI
The Cowboys’ expected loss to the Patriots kept the Eagles within one game of the Cowboys with five games to play. The Cowboys have the Bills, Bears, Rams, Eagles and Redskins remaining while the Eagles have the Dolphins, Giants, Redskins, Cowboys and Giants again. The Eagles are going to win the division if they can beat the Cowboys at home in Week 16 and they might win it anyway with this cupcake schedule. Then Jason Garrett will be fired, and I will have to spend the early days of 2020 worrying about the Giants hiring him.

Green Bay -6.5 over NEW YORK GIANTS
This line is surprisingly low because of the Week 12 scores. But don’t let those scores fool you. The Packers are still a good team and the Giants are a joke.

Cleveland -2 over PITTSBURGH
A three-game winning streak has the Browns back in the playoff picture, sitting one game out of the No. 6 seed. That 6-seed? The Steelers. Neither of these teams are any good and whichever AFC team wins the 6-seed and has to go to Arrowhead is going to get blown out anyway. But what I’m rooting for here is for the Browns to continue to their run and then fall short of the playoffs in the final week or two of the season.

Los Angeles Rams -3 over ARIZONA
A year after the Rams went to the Super Bowl thanks to a non-pass interference call and then proved they didn’t belong in the Super Bowl once there, they are going to miss the playoffs completely unless they’re able to run the table over the last five weeks or at worst go 4-1. Their schedule: at Arizona, Seattle, at Dallas, at San Francisco, Arizona. It’s going to be a difficult task, but it’s doable.

KANSAS CITY -10 over Oakland
The Chiefs aren’t going to have home-field advantage in the second round of the playoffs or the AFC Championship Game, so they’re once again not going to the Super Bowl. Last season, they couldn’t win the AFC with home-field advantage in the AFC Championship Game and they had a much better team. But the Chiefs still have to win to hold on to their one-game division lead over the Raiders and at least keep their home game for Wild-Card Weekend.

Los Angeles Chargers -2.5 over DENVER
All season I waited for the Chargers from last season to emerge and all season they just kept losing. Now with seven losses, it would take an absolute miracle for them to reach the postseason. Instead of the “Chargers are a contender” storyline from this time last season, the new narrative is “What should the Chargers do with Philip Rivers?”

New England -3 over HOUSTON
The Patriots always beat the Texans. That’s not going to change anytime soon.

SEATTLE -3 over Minnesota
I made the mistake last season of picking Kirk Cousins to lead the Vikings to a win in Seattle. I’m not going to make that same mistake again.

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